The Rabbit

A man was driving down the highway, and he saw a rabbit hopping across the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit.

The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road, and got out to see what had become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, it was dead. The driver felt so awful, he began to cry.

A woman driving down the same road came along, saw the man crying on the side of the road, and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong.

"I feel terrible," he explained. "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it."

The woman told the man not to worry; she knew what to do. She went to her car trunk, and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead rabbit, and sprayed the contents of the can onto the animal.

Miraculously the rabbit came to life, jumped up, waved its paw at the two humans, and hopped down the road. Fifty yards away, the rabbit stopped, turned around, waved again, hopped down the road another fifty yards, waved and hopped another fifty yards.

The man was astonished. He couldn't figure out what substance could be in the woman's spray can!! He ran over to the woman and demanded, "What was in your can? What did you spray on that rabbit?"

The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It said: "Hair spray. Restores life to dead hair. Adds permanent wave."

THE RACE CAR OWNER WAS ANNOYED LOL

The racehorse owner was annoyed with the running of his horse at the race.
He turned on the jockey.
"Flaherty, could you not have raced faster?"
"Sure I could have, but you know we're supposed to stay on the horse."

 EAT THE WATERMELON


A farmer in the country has a watermelon patch and upon inspection he discovers that some of the local kids have been helping themselves to a feast.
The farmer thinks of ways to discourage this profit-eating situation. So he puts up a sign that reads: "WARNING! ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS CONTAINS CYANIDE!"
He smiled smugly as he watched the kids run off the next night without eating any of his melons.
The farmer returns to the watermelon patch a week later to discover that none of the watermelons have been eaten, but finds another sign that reads: "NOW THERE ARE TWO!"
Lool

Fans of popular singer, Iyanya, are currently displeased with him because of the treatment they allegedly got at his album launch in Abuja over the weekend. Those who bear the most grudge are the people who bought a table which cost about N400,000.

These VIPs placed a call to Saturday Beats stating that they paid that much for a table because they expected the best of hospitality only to be served groundnuts and Hennessy.

One of the guests said:

 “When I told my wife that I got a table at Iyanya’s album launch, she was ecstatic because the singer is one of her favourites. It came to us as a rude shock when we were served groundnuts and Hennessy. I mean we paid N400,000 just to be given groundnuts?”
When Iyanya’s manager and co-owner of the record label, Ubi Franklin, was contacted, he didn’t hide his contempt for Saturday Beats. He said that they never promised that anything would be put on the table for guests.
“Go and check Iyanya’s promotion for the album, we did not promise anybody that we would put anything on the table. If you are sitting on the table, it is premium. Iyanya gave them a proper show for three hours. Iyanya and I were not in charge of what would be put on the table,” Franklin said without remorse as he rudely cut off the phone. Your thoughts about this!

Rixy007:
all of dem coming up with similar stories... Are dey begging for sympathy ni..... After I blow I go tell my own story.. I don formulate d perfect story

lool ! Nigga! Happy-sunday!

Rixy007:
Why does dx story kinda relates to Jonathan's "no shoe" story

Lol! Seems real

Kiss daniel has not only shown is versatility in the music industry , but has also gone far and wide in showing the world & Nigeria as a whole that he's the chosen One. Lol This is kiss's new hair! What do you think?

David Osahon

DJ David Osahon had made an announcement that started a stampede which later led to the death of the students.

The announcement was made in a comical way but the students missed it and took it serious. Osahon said he made the announcement with a comedy accent in Lava & Ignite nightclub in Northampton which led to the stampede that caused the death of Nabila Nanfuka, 22, and Laurene-Danielle Jackson, 19.


Nabila Nanfuka

The announcement was telling people to get on board their coaches. The students had been enjoying themselves at the club when Osahon’s announced that coach drivers outside were ready to leave at 3.30am, the inquest heard. Unfortunately, Osahon made up the announcement. He admitted to making up the announcement at a hearing.

Singer, Reekado Banks

In a chat with our reporter, Reekado said if not for his brother who submitted his demo to Donjazzy when the super producer asked artistes to submit demos, he would have quit music.

“Like I said it was like a miracle. He sent out something on the internet and said people should send him their demo singles. Luckily for me brother did send mine. He sent it he didn’t even tell me because at the time we were not in good terms and he sent it for me. Luckily my song was the only one picked out of the 5000.”

When asked why he wanted to quit, he explained “2 years ago I wanted to quit so I didn’t think I would be this big. It was tiring I was in school but I just felt let me get my 100% back into music but few month later I meet miracle,” he said.

AY’s comedy show on Easter Sunday has gone but its ripples continue to this day. One trending topic from the show is fast-rising comedian Akpororo’s joke which many termed very inappropriate and offensive.
The comedian said:

Quote
    “I was travelling in a bus and saw a girl in the same bus. I was trying to ask her out but she didn’t agree. Soon, armed robbers stopped the bus, collected all our valuables and asked me to strip. Then they pointed a gun at the girl and asked her to strip too. Then they ordered me to have sex with her from behind at gun point. At the end, I enjoyed it so much that I started saying thank you to the armed robbers.”


Some people have condemned the joke on Twitter and called for jokes like that to be stopped! The comedian has apologised for the joke.
Comments!

Heyy there! , before making this thread about Unilag & Uniben! I've been getting infos. From different Blogs! , sites! & individuals!. So Unilag & Uniben , which's more standard in terms of everything that invovles schooling as an individual. Drop your opinions!

Lol , such is Jamb for you! Always so unpredicting

nnachukz:
We are just going round a circle.

Lol , I still dey wonder oh! Niger sha

[b][/b]• Heyy I'm Mikky by name. Recently, I came across a blog that talked about how Unilag is more of a great university than Uniben. But then I thought, “ what nonsense!”. I don't know what might be running through your minds now, but drop them. Share your opinions & be a great help to someone in need.

Former Head of State, Muhammadu Buhari, on Tuesday said President Goodluck Jonathan and the Federal Government were hatching a plot to arrest him.
Speaking to PREMIUM TIMES via his closest political associate and national secretary of his party, Buba Galadima, Mr. Buhari said the presidency and the ruling party were already preparing the ground to harass, arrest and incarcerate him.
“They are just trying to give us a bad name in order to hang us,” Mr. Galadima told this newspaper in a telephone interview. “We know that they are already planning to arrest the General and I, they are just preparing grounds for their actions.”
Mr Buhari was reacting to statements issued by the the presidency and the national headquarters of the Peoples Democratic Party describing him as a serial election loser and blood thirsty politician, who is in the habit of inciting his supporters to violence.
The PDP and the presidency issued the statements in reaction to comments attributed to Mr. Buhari on Monday where he said the Nigerian government, led by President Goodluck Jonathan of the ruling PDP, is more deadly than the extremist Boko Haram sect and that any attempt to rig the 2015 election would be firmly resisted.
In its statement, released at a hurriedly convened press conference, the PDP said the leader of the opposition Congress for Progressive Change had become unstable and is being haunted by what it described as “combat withdrawal syndrome.”
The party also described the retired army general as excessively blood thirsty.
Shortly afterwards, the presidency came out smoking describing Mr. Buhari as a serial election looser renowned for inciting Nigerians to violence.
But speaking to PREMIUM TIMES after the statements were released, Mr. Buhari said rather than him, it was the PDP and the Jonathan-led  Federal Government that were the real threat to peace in the country.
“It is those who organise the rigging of elections that are trying to disrupt the peace, not Buhari,” the former head of state said, through Mr. Galadima.
Mr. Galadima also said the PDP and the presidency only came up with the allegations because the government “is planning to arrest Buhari and I, and so they are using Monday’s remarks as an excuse.”
“It is not General that is threatening peace, rather it is the action of the PDP that is leading to bloodbath, they have infected us with bloodbath,” he added. Na wa oh!

The Joint Admission and Matriculation Board JAMB has said that it has made some modifications on the 2016/2017 registration as it concerns selection of institutions by candidates.

According to the Public Relations Officer of the board, Dr Fabian Benjamin, the board has made provision for “preferred choice” to give candidates ample opportunity of gaining admission.

In his words, “What we did initially was that you only have one choice. Now, we have made it in such a way that if you miss the University of Lagos; University of Nigeria, Nsukka; Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife, and Ahmadu Bello University, Zaira, you will have an opportunity of going to another school.

Before, all universities will be in first and second choice and that will not solve any problem. We have now decided to put a few of those schools we feel will have more spaces as more preferred.

Institutions placed on the more preferred choice are those that are mostly not oversubscribed. This is because it will not make any sense if you place institutions like the ABU, UNILAG, OAU and UNN, when in actual sense they cannot even admit one third of the candidates that will choose them as most preferred.”

We therefore advise candidates to ensure they visit accredited registration centres for registration where they will be properly guided on this new option and ask questions if the need clarification.
So tell me , what do you think?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRh_vgS2dFE

That's the link to watch it online. For downloads , Copy the Link & download it on En.savefrom.net. Enjoy!!!

A transgender man is revealing how shocked he was to learn that he was pregnant almost a decade after he began to transition.

Kayden Coleman, 29, was stunned when he first realised his growing belly was not the result of a lack of exercise, but a baby.

Kayden was experiencing some back pain one day and asked his then-boyfriend Elijah to give him a massage.

'It felt like there was a pillow under my stomach but there was no pillow,' said Kayden of the moment he laid on his stomach.

He then joked that they should go get a pregnancy test - and it came back positive.

For almost a decade Kayden had been living as a man,not only had he told all his friends and family that he was transgender, he had been on testosterone injections for five years, had grown facial hair and was about to have a double mastectomy.


Kayden told Mirror Online that at the time he became pregnant he had gone off his hormones because he was preparing to undergo the  mastectomy and his doctors had told him to take a break.

'To have a mastectomy you have to be off hormones for six weeks,' explained Kayden.

A doctor confirmed the news, and he and Elijah did everything they could to prepare themselves for the new arrival, from getting their apartment ready to taking the plunge and getting married.