Identifying a female narcissist is not as easy as it seems. Some of us may be living with one and not even realise it.
To refresh your mind, a narcissist is an extremely selfish person who are in love with themselves, worship themselves and care only about themselves. Don't get me wrong here though, loving oneself is a wonderful attribute everyone should have. However, for narcissists, extremism and obsession is the case. They may be in a relationship with you, but they are only in it for themselves. When they do something for you, there is always a hidden agenda.

In this article, you will learn some of the common attributes exhibited by them which will help you stay off their track.

1) SHE IS MOSTLY OBSESSED WITH HER PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

This attribute screams very loud, that's why it is the first on the list. Most dictionary define a narcissist as someone who is incredibly obsessed with their looks as well as their physical appearance. 
If you don't compliment their looks, that will automatically be an issue. Their number one concern all the time is how they look, and they pay less attention to anything else.
Once satisfied their looks are perfect, that's when they finally remember you exist in their life.

2) SHE IS EXTREMELY MATERIALISTIC IN NATURE
This is an offshoot of the first one above. Being obsessed with their physical appearance ensures that
they love to be trendy with the latest clothing, bags, shoes, etc.
It doesn't end there too, they also ensure that there trendy wearables are noticed.
If by chance they cannot buy this things on their own, they cling onto someone who can, a rich guy or man. Their main purpose is to make sure that in the end, they feel superior to their female counterparts due to their assumed worth from wearing the latest in town.

3) SHE LOVES ATTENTION
When it comes to being the centre of attention, the number one on the list is a narcissist. Call her a drama queen and you are on the right track into understanding just how big she adores being the centre of attention. She yearns for it like air, it's what keeps her going. They will do anything within their power to be in the spotlight, and will fight whoever is on their way for it. This is a good trait, but for a narcissist, it is extreme as most of the things she is fighting attention for are mostly worthless. For a female narcissist, every other female is a competition and they will not mind making you feel inferior about yourself. They get high from such acts, infact, they live for it.

4) SHE USES EVERY NEGATIVE MEANS TO SMEAR

A narcissist derives great joy from tormenting others emotionally, physically or by psychological means. She easily resorts to abusive languages and cruel actions to make sure they torture you, and to see you shattered just to get off of it.

5) EVERYTHING IS ALWAYS ABOUT HER

Somehow, she finds a way to make everything about her. Try telling her about your day, she will find a way to make it seem unimportant because she wants to talk about herself. Nothing you do is as important as her hairstyles which she thinks the hairstylist didn't do right, or the make ups she bought the other day has too much oil.
She will boast about all the accomplishments she has achieved, about her success, about her life and how gorgeous she thinks she is. She will make you know that she is doing you a favour for being with you, like she is totally superior to you.
Nothing about you is her problem, but everything about her is your problem. She is her number one priority at all times, and she will make you understand that your needs are not as important as her own.

6) SHE IS EASILY IRRITATED AND WILL THROW UNNECESSARY TANTRUM

If you happen to be in a relationship with one, sooner or later you discover that little things are usually the things that riles her up.
Minor things that shouldn't be an issue are always the things that escalates into serious problems with a female narcissist.
She will always leave you wondering about your own insanity, always imagining what you said or did that was wrong. Did i also tell you that they're the mistresses of silent treatment for no just cause?
She will through a fit if she doesn't get what she wants all the time.

7) SHE IS A RELATIONSHIP NIGHTMARE

She will use her features to flirt with a lot of men just to make you jealous or create a leverage with you so as to let you know that you are privileged to be with her.

There are also many other attributes which is peculiar to them, but at the centre of it all is self-obssession and looking down on others because she feels she is better than them.



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It's usually all rosy and sweet at the beginning of any relationship. Even though this stage doesn't usually last forever, it doesn't mean it can't stay alive throughout the relationship itself.
How to keep the romance going is a question a lot of people always have at the top of their mind if they intend to make it long term; and this takes little extra effort to achieve.

This is why experts always recommend that being aware of small little everyday habits that may affect the romance in a relationship is something you should know. This means you means that you should pay attention to certain behaviours that has the potential of making your relationship feel uneventful and dull. Having knowledge of this small little things will help you avoid such situations, help you spice up your relationship as well as curtail your partner from seeking the previous fun in your relationship from outside.

Most people after entering into a relationship always want to relax into that stable, comfortable part of the relationship where they feel everything is alright and so stop doing the things that lighted up the relationship in the first instance. Don't make that mistake. Here are the little daily habits which have the possibility of killing your relationship if left unchecked:

1. Always At Your Phone:

It's always tempting to have the constant urge to unwind and scroll all day through your social media handles or watching stuffs on your mobile devices. However, if you are not giving your partner the full attention you should, they will always take you as being less engaged and distant from them.
Always know when to keep your electronic devices and concentrate. We live in a society where people can no longer do anything without taking a sneak at their online life. If you don't value what is in front of you, you are definitely going to lose it.

2. Picking Up Small Fights:
If you are living together with your partner for a long time for instance,
it becomes more tempting to nit-pick at certain small issues like keeping the tissue in the wrong place, or not organising the room in a certain way or not pressing the toothpaste from the bottom.
For others, it may be who is always calling first, who texts first, who responded late to a message, who bought gifts or who didn't, why one partner always forget to do a particular thing like buying groceries or food stuffs or taking the kids to school, etc. It's just uncountable.
Even though this type of little fights are expected, they can be avoided, because it usually leads to the other partner perceiving that you want to change them; and people are conservatively opposing to changes no matter how good it is for them.

3. Feeling Insecure In Your Relationship.

If you are not sure of your partner's feelings about you in the relationship, and you think they may be considering a possible breakup, it's usually hard to keep the romance alive.
A study conducted by journal "Motivation and Emotion" revealed that people who feel there is a possible risk their partner may leave them rarely feel any romance or commitment to a relationship. But, it is different for people who felt secure in their relationship.

It's good that you realise that feeling a breakup is imminent doesn't mean it will, except it's your choosing. If any of the partners in the relationship don't feel secure in the relationship, then it's time you take a moment to evaluate if either of you have been trying your best to tell your partner how you feel.
If neither of you have not taken out time to appreciate each other, it is very easy to think that a breakup will happen. Ultimately, that may be what's killing your romantic life as opposed to your feelings.

4. Not Spending Any Time Apart:

Staying passionate and romantic in a relationship doesn't mean both of you must spend all your time together.

"Demanding your partner’s constant attention, not having outside interests or friends, or extreme jealousy are toxic to romance," says Stein.

It's actually very healthy to spend personal time away from your partner. You shouldn't kill your other lives because you are in a relationship or married. You also need to have a life you can talk about with your partner that is different from the life you share with them. Doing this will help you keep your romance alive so long as you don't abuse it and let it take over your relationship time.

By being mindful of this little everyday killer habits, you can make sure the spark in your relationship stays alive while keeping a happy and healthy relationship in the process.




Written by Muurian!
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Sandrazima:
There is a guy I met few months ago. He has all the qualities I want in a man. I met him him before the locked down when I travelled for a business trip to Abuja where he resides. We had a long interesting conversation and we realized we shared a lot in common and he seemed very into me.

I was sad when I had to return to Lagos because he was such a great guy. He said he occasionally travels to Lagos for meetings and business trips and that made me happy knowing that I would get to see him more.

The lockdown and ban of interstate travel distanced us for months but we exchanged calls and text messages all the time. The more I got to know him the more I fell in love with him. He told me he was attracted to me and I felt the feelings I had for him were mutual. We flirted a lot, exchanged pictures and talked about sexual topics.

A month ago he just stopped responding to my texts and calls. When I text him the messages will go through, but he won't reply. If I call him the phone will ring and he won't pick. We didn't quarrel and put last conversation ended on a good note. It's been a almost a month. I see he is online and he occasionally updates his WhatsApp status so I know nothing is wrong with him. I feel very disrespected.

Why would a guy tell you he likes you, flirt with you and then just disappear from your life? Doesn't he know that he is hurting me by acting in this way? Men are indeed trash.

Its usually sad when people behave in such way with no reason whatsoever. It doesn't show a sign of maturity. I'm sure the same person will also feel bad if another person did same thing to him.

However, i can assure you that you dodged a bullet. It goes to show you the type of person he is, someone who doesn't care about how their acts and inactions affect other people. Simple courtesy and good etiquette entails that he should at least reply you and tell you what's going on.

Having said that, you didn't say in your write up that both of you were dating. You said you guys
"...flirted a lot, exchanged pictures and talked about sexual topics." Well, in my understanding, it doesn't amount to anything as it is something most people do without getting emotional about it.

You also said you guys share mutual attraction. Mutual attraction is good if you want to take a relationship to the next level, but as you have stated, you guys weren't dating. Mutual attraction fades off eventually if there are few contacts between the persons involved.

Finally, remember that when you say all men are trash, that includes your father and your brothers. Your post would have still been made without insulting more than 3 billion men in the whole world just because you felt one guy treated you badly.

Regards!!!