Why is the man the head of the family?

It is a generally accepted 'fact' all over the world that the man, the father, is the head of the family unit. Men Why is the man the head of the family?accept it, women accept it. As a 'scientist' (I was a science student, ok?), I am inclined to ask 'why?' Why are we men the de-facto leaders of the home.
[list][li]Is it because we are physically bigger and stronger?[/li]
[li]Is it because men are generally better leaders?[/li]
[li]Is it as a result of a conspiracy by men to keep women under?[/li]
[li]Perhaps it because women would rather not lead?[/li]
[li]Perhaps women are afraid of being ultimately responsible for the home?[/li][/list]

Despite the time I've spent thinking about it, I don't have a satisfactory answer. Do you have the answer? Would you like to share it with us? Please register and start contributing! Why is the man the head of the family?

If there is no a concrete reason for making the man the leader, it is only a matter of time before some women start clamoring for the leadership position in the home! In a few years we might have families where the wife will say "I am the head of this family and my husband and children are subordinates!"

Abomination? Why?

I think It's because the men tend to be less emotional. And they are better go-getters than women are. It's just a natural thing, I don't think there's a conspiracy there.

It truly is a generally accepted fact. I have got a reason, from the bible and I think it is 'concrete' enough.

When a man and woman get married, they become one flesh. There is a unity between them. But, it is the man who is the head of the family. Some may think that this was a cultural notion that snuck into the Bible, but quoting from it:
"For man does not originate from woman, but woman from man; for indeed man was not created for the woman’s sake, but woman for the man’s sake. " (1 Cor. 11:8-10).

This headship is not about having the upper hand nor is it to mean that a woman has no rights or is a second class citizen. The husband is still commanded to love the wife. The headship issue is an issue of order, not of who is better or more important.

These are my views, bible wise. Any one with others reasons? Please post away ...

The woman was created out from the ribs of the man, so that means that from the man a woman created, so that is why man remains the head of the house form the beginning till now.

Well said, dominobaby.

"But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God." 1 Cor 11:3
From creation, God has placed the man before the woman. Anyone can argue or challenge this, but the fact still remains the same.

This issue cuts across cultures also. Think of any tribe of the world, black, white or coloured, the man is always the head of the family, take it or leave it. Afterall, the woman drops her own name to adopt that of the man.

It is an abnormal situation where a woman assumes the headship of a family. Except the man is dead, the society frowns at the situation where a woman usurps the authority of her husband, no matter highly placed is the woman.

The man is the head of the family because this is man's world. After all the woman was created later, in order to assist the man.

After all the woman was created later, in order to assist the man.

You've put this very eloquently! But does this mean an unmarried woman is not fulfilling her purpose in life?

I somehow disagree with you diakim. The man is head of the family, sure, and that is an undisputable fact and so shall it remain till 'thy kingdom come' because it has been ordained by God and not because it's a man's world.  

Lets face the fact, if women were allowed to rule or to be the head of the family, I am very sure some would even perform far, far better than men.  These days some men don't even know what it takes to be the head.

And Seun if I were to answer all the questions you asked, my answer would have been a very big NO!!!  You want to know why? Sure I will tell you. That's because WHAT A MAN CAN DO, A WOMAN CAN DO BETTER.

That saying what a man can do, a woman can do better is a fable.
what is it that a woman can do better than a man? probably jisting, nagging and gossiping.

I'm not trying to diss women sha!

A man is the head of the family because of some special attributes such as

1- The first being on earth.

2- Made from God's own image

The woman was a helper initially but after being the first to sin and then
luring Adam into sin, she was relegated to the position of subordinate.

If God's Ultimate purpose for creating woman is to assist her husband, Then she is not fulfilling her purpose in life if she is unmarried.

This headship issue, when it comes up, I think is one thing that makes young women very sad and I think it is what makes it difficult for some people to choose a husband. I mean some women are so intelligent and they have to look for a husband who is more intelligent than them (because they have to be his 'tail') but they find that there is no such man! And they are being told to 'submit' to some guy who is not up to their level.

I moved the thread here because i felt mamba's comment up there is too inflamatory. Do you guys think it's too inflammatory?

Seun not that umarried women are not fuifilling her purpose in life, but I want to let you know that if a woman who is ripe for marriage and is not yet married no matter her position in the soceity, her life is yet to be fuifilled.AND
tayotina. it is not good to dispute the order of God the creator,God had made it so, He alone knows the reason, you may even dispute that man may do better than Christ who is the head of the man.

Solo2 I am not disputing the fact that the man is head of the family. Afterall the woman was created out of the man and the woman is meant to be submissive to her husband no matter her position in society. But the only thing I was trying to point out there was the fact that the man is the head of the family, not because it's a man's world but because it has been ordained by God. I would love my man to have total control over me. I believe that should be a woman's pride.

more reference :

“I will greatly multiply your pain in childbirth. In pain you shall bring forth children; yet your desire shall be for your husband, [b]and he shall rule over you,” .[/b]Gen. 3:16

It was because Eve listened to the devil that the issue of order and hierarchy in the marriage relationship has had to be raised and explained!

seun:

I moved the thread here because I felt mamba's comment up there is too inflamatory. Do you guys think it's too inflammatory?

IMO, I don't think so....
read Domino's comment..

I thought the curse has been lifted in the new testament or something like that??

tayotina, thanks for that response. seun, my personal opinion is that is that as long sin still remain in man and woman, that curse still remain untill man is able to do away with sin in his life.

My position is that no female member of this forum is cursed with any curse. Thank you.

A big AMEN to that.

Men are the head of the family because that is the way it had always been. But to bust your bubbles that is changing now. And i am in full support of the change!!

I think I support the motion that it is better for the leadership role to remain with the male; that the female should only do everything in their possession to support and advice them.

its very funny that people have tried to diginify there difference to this in diverse ways but it smacks of ignorance to even think on the contrary.Right from time immemorial,God almighty said ' let us make man in our image and after our likeness' and after this WONDERFUL creation called man God found out that man was lonly and decided to make a help for him in the form of a woe-man since her creation neither Man nor God has known peace and you now think that she should head the family?Just the little opportunity she had to take an important in ther 'wiseness' decided to consort with satan and agreed that the 'apple' was fit for man to eat and see where we are today. Abeg make we manage the 'shit' they have put us in its enough.who knows what they will do next

i believe dat d man is d head of the family cos he got 2 the planet earth first b4 any woman and he deserves 2 bare that record till kingdom come- or maybe God just wanted him 2 be the head cos it seems to me like it is natural.

men as to say is the head of the family, whether it is the women that is taking care of the house or not, she ought to be submisive, co's it is through the man that women are made.

God made it so. (my opinion) - I believe marriages do have problems at times because the wife has taken over the position of a husband. I am not saying it is wrong for us to help out at home especially if you are well paid than him but be careful what you take up as his wife. The Lord has made them to be the head and I am sure he is not ready to pass it away from them yet.

Motee, you got it right.
God made it so period.

It's true that Allah made men the head of the household in many regard but what exactly does that mean? It doesn't men that he rules everything because he doesn't. He never has and never wills because that's not what head of household is about.

I understand it to be about men being physically stronger, less emotional and able to handle pressure in ways that may be harmful to women. It may be harmful to a woman to be out working all day searching for food for her family. She is then not able to focus on her own woman priciples.  Truthfully men are more logical than women in nature. Women are 95% emotional in nature. We are delicate creatures. Women are mentally stronger than men and serve as many things. She's the counselor, nurture, educator and more. In my oppion women truly are the force behind the head because it is apart of her duty to keep the head right, so all decisions come by her before they are turned into action, at least they should be. And hey if there was no women then who would men lead? How would he know what things are needed to sustain her? and so on.

There you have it, my take



Keep it moving

because he has a bigger head?

Because the woman was made out of the man waist.

Some men are physically smaller than women.

Yes I believe that it is divine order for the man to be the head of the home/family. It does not mean that women are less adequate but have you ever seen two leaders occupy the same space? You will not find order.

There is the President, and the Vice President
The President and the CEO
Etc, etc.

They both come together to make decisions but one has the final say. Like they say, "Too many chiefs and no Indians is bad for the tribe."

Men have the ability to see big ideas. Women have the ability to see the intricate details of such ideas. Therefore they compliment one another. It does not mean that either one is smarter than the other.

Also, if a woman does not get married it does not mean that she is non fulfilling of her purpose, likewise for a man who does not marry. It goes the same for a woman who does not give birth. These individuals may have a completely different purpose all together that we may be unaware of.

And last, but not least I'll leave you with something my great grandmother used to say: Men are the head but the women are the necks. The neck controls the movement of the head.

Men are the head for some reasons already stated but mainly because it's divinely ordered.

well I think the reason is this,


men are head of the family because thats the way God want it.
secondly they were created before the women.
we women are one of their ribs so why won't they be the head of the family.
As for them being stronger i don't think that is the reason.
coz some women are stronger than some men.

As a Christian, I believe that man is the head of the home but not for the reasons most people stated. I totally disagree with many of you that men are more important than women simply because Adam was created first. Does this then mean that fish, birds and other dumb animals created before Adam are more important than him? Remember that God knows the end from the beginning. He never makes mistakes. He looked at all he created and said that it was good. Why would he create males and females of all the other animals and neglect to do the same for humans? Remember that the Bible is God's way of speaking to us. I believe what he was trying to illustrate in that story is that 'it is not good for man to be alone'. He symbolised the perfect unity, harmony and complementary love to be found in Godly relationships. I don't think Eve was an afterthought. God had something he wanted to show us. He used this technique later on in the new testament with the man that was born blind, 'not because of any sin, but that the glory of God be shown through him' (i.e. with his miraculous healing).
The Bible says that in Christ there is neither man nor woman, jew nor greek, slave nor free but that christ is all in all. Nobody is more important or worthier to God than anyone else, for he loves all his children equally and unconditionally. He created man and woman in his own image,not woman in man's image. That would be idolatry.
After the fall, Eve was cursed: 'your desire shall be for your husband, yet he shall rule over you'. However Jesus came to deliver us from the curse of the law. And I believe that it is from Jesus that we should take our cue. Which is what brings me to how as a female I have resolved the issue of the man being the head of the family.
It is not because men are better, or more important, but just because that's how God wants it to be. I do not want to be like the friends of Job who pretended to know all the answers and tried to interprete the scriptures to suit their own ends. But I know that God created man and woman to be different and complementary to each other, with their own strengths and weaknesses and in his perfect plan he decided that wives should submit to their husbands. This does not mean men are more important. As I said earlier, women should take their cue from Jesus who 'did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but humbled himself...' Jesus willingly humbled himself even though he is God. And look what good came out of it! (such an understatement). So also, women should do the same. This does not mean women have no rights or God cannot use them, however.
Looking at the issue out of the context of the family, we live in a patriarchal society where men dominate women because they can, because it makes life easier for them, and because women let them. This is very bad. We need proportional representation of both sexes in all aspects of society, including leadership. Men and women are different and equal and society should reflect this. Did you know that the face of African poverty is invariably that of a woman because of the heavy burdens men make them carry in the name of 'leadership?' People have very warped and irresponsible views of their roles in society.But that is getting off the topic. I believe the key to it all is love. If we truly acted in love towards one another like Jesus showed us how to, and learned to lead through service, we would spend far less time debating over who deserved the power. Because that is why most people want to lead, be it in the family or elsewhere (e.g. politics). And leadership isn't really about power and control.