FROM: BEN20001

TO: ALL DEPENDANTS & RELATIVES

CC: LYSAA

DATE: JUNE 2nd, 2009


SUBJECT: FINANCIAL MELTDOWN/COST CUTTING MEASURES FOR YOUR URGENT ATTENTION

Due to the current economic situation, all domestic rules and regulations have been revised as below and under no circumstance is any violation going to be accepted.

1. The Kitchen and all pantries are declared Restricted Zones. Entry. And/or passage shall require express permission from myself upon submission of written request,

2. Breakfast is banned. This matter cannot be discussed!

3. Such food items as rice, chicken, butter, jam, eggs, bread and milk are restricted. Anyone intending to eat any of such foodstuffs must write to Me in triplicate, with three days notice, giving justifications backed by a qualified dietician report as supportive documentation,

4. Bathing in the morning is limited to 5 liters of water per day per person while bathing in the evening is banned unless there are medical reasons.

5. All security lights should be removed with immediate effect. All dependants shall abide by an all-night guard-duty roster I shall make available shortly.

6. No dependant shall entertain friends indoors, far less attempt to offer food, drinks or even music. Those who want their guests to listen to music shall sing for them.

7. No one is allowed to talk to officials from police, Council or Court Bailiffs; doing so shall carry an instantaneous penalty of ejection from The House.

8. Anybody who breaks a glass, furniture or any other property in The House, shall immediately have to seek temporary employment somewhere to earn money to replace such broken item(s).

9. All visitors intending to spend a night/week or more shall
apply in triplicate and give two months notice, with an endorsement from their town Mayor, Village Headman or Church Priest, giving convincing reasons why they can't stay at their homes. Failure to do this shall result
in their being turned away, at the gate, upon arrival

THESE RULES ARE BINDING AND NOT SUBJECT TO ANY DISCUSSION WHATSOEVER!! !


Signed:

DAD
Chairman of Home Affairs

is that ur composition or its another copy an paste thing?

Nah! Not mine, copy and paste. . . someone sent it to my email. just thought i'd share it in a friendly way.

good thing u're not in denial. i hail ur friend then. _{Hey friend, plenty hailings}

This is so gross. WTH? Are u trying to kill somebody? no breakfast, u want us to be vegetarians plus no water to bathe. Now Dad u choose; (a) adjust this rules (b) get disowned (c) get replaced.

U have 3 days to re-think.

signed
angry Lysaa
on behalf of all those concerned.

I speak for my ppl.

os courfe.

ERROR pass ERROR pass

lysaa:

I speak for my ppl.

spik for yasef!

how it take affect u?

who that be?

ahhhhhhhh, i c

what? meant i see wht u meant but if u insist, i'd testify that for once i see ur drift.

no qualms, ya bele dey sweet u now abi?

okls na

is it possible to have learnt from the worst?

COME LOMADE, DON'T TEACH ME AND COME BACK TO CRITICIZE UR INTENSIVE GENIUS

Nice joke.I really enjoyed it

are u taking credit? hope u get caught for siphoning.

ur ingrish? me nor no again o.

ok dont judge another's

we be one b4?