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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Religion / 15 Biblical Ways To Get A Wifey (1517 Views)
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15 Biblical Ways To Get A Wifey by freelance(m): 12:54pm On Jul 30, 2007 |
This is very funny! I hope nobody actually follows these biblical examples!!!! It’s all good. This can't be from the holy bible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but they are really from the Holy Book, the Bible 1. Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she's yours. -- (Deuteronomy 21:11-13) 2. Find a prostitute and marry her. -- Hosea (Hosea 1:1-3) 3. Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock. -- Moses (Exodus 2:16-21) 4. Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal. -- Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10) 5. Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife. -- Benjaminites (Judges 21:19-25) 6. Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this will cost you a rib. -- Adam (Genesis 2:19-24) 7. Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman's hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. That's right. Fourteen years of toil for a woman. -- Jacob (Genesis 29:15-30) 8. Cut off 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law's enemies and get his daughter for a wife. -- David (I Samuel 18:27) 9. Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you'll definitely find someone. (It's all relative of course.) -- Cain (Genesis 4:16-17) 10. Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest. -- Xerxes or Ahasuerus (Esther 2:3-4) 11. When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, "I have seen a , woman; now get her for me." If your parents question your decision, simply say, "Get her for me. She's the one for me." -- Samson (Judges 14:1-3) 12. Kill any husband and take HIS wife. (Prepare to lose your son though). -- David (2 Samuel 11) 13. Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. (It's not just a good idea, it's the law). -- Onan and Boaz (Deuteronomy or Leviticus, example in Ruth) 14. Don't be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity. -- Solomon (1 Kings 11:1-3) 15. A wife?, NO WAY!!! -- Paul (1 Corinthians 7:32-35 What ya think |
Re: 15 Biblical Ways To Get A Wifey by IDINRETE: 7:26pm On Jul 30, 2007 |
Are you serious at all? How dare you! those are the INSPIRED WORDS OF THE GOD AND THEY ARE FROM THE HOLY BIBLE prepare yourself, for your damnation in HELL |
Re: 15 Biblical Ways To Get A Wifey by BlkRaven(f): 2:10am On Jul 31, 2007 |
Freelance PMSL |
Re: 15 Biblical Ways To Get A Wifey by freelance(m): 8:04am On Jul 31, 2007 |
IDINRETE: That was 2 harsh. It was just a joke Sure I know they are from the bible but who are you to jugdge me Cheers! |
Re: 15 Biblical Ways To Get A Wifey by IDINRETE: 9:21am On Jul 31, 2007 |
joke what joke? you are taking the INFALLIBLE , INSPIRED WORD OF THE GOD for a joke you better repent or else |
Re: 15 Biblical Ways To Get A Wifey by freelance(m): 9:25am On Jul 31, 2007 |
So what is wrong with what I have just done. And please what am I meant to repent of? |
Re: 15 Biblical Ways To Get A Wifey by IDINRETE: 9:33am On Jul 31, 2007 |
you dont make jokes or make fun with the INERRANT, INSPIRED WORDS OF THE GOD because some people are following those examples that you quoted |
Re: 15 Biblical Ways To Get A Wifey by freelance(m): 9:44am On Jul 31, 2007 |
So what do you want me to do now. You have just turned a joke to something else. Thanks all the same for the correction and would you feel better if I deleted this post? Cheers! |
Re: 15 Biblical Ways To Get A Wifey by Aproko(f): 9:45am On Jul 31, 2007 |
freelance: LMAO the wonder about a bit one (like cain) is more common these days i think. |
Re: 15 Biblical Ways To Get A Wifey by BlkRaven(f): 2:24pm On Jul 31, 2007 |
IDINRETE: Repent or else what? Don't be so dramatic. It's light hearted humour and it is funny |
Re: 15 Biblical Ways To Get A Wifey by IDINRETE: 3:16pm On Jul 31, 2007 |
@BLKRAVEN this is not a light hearted humour o ! and it is not funny to some people o! are you saying those words of the God are just in the Bible for Humour remember you must not take the word of thy god in vain. I am warning you o Freelance you have to recant that posts of yours, before holy ghost fire consume you |
Re: 15 Biblical Ways To Get A Wifey by freelance(m): 3:24pm On Jul 31, 2007 |
IDINRETE: |
Re: 15 Biblical Ways To Get A Wifey by freelance(m): 3:35pm On Jul 31, 2007 |
So what exactly do you want me to do now?? |
Re: 15 Biblical Ways To Get A Wifey by IDINRETE: 3:50pm On Jul 31, 2007 |
freelance: I finally got you you should have known I was only you are a joker for bringing up those verses dont mind me, I dont believe those words or verses are inspired in anyway or form |
Re: 15 Biblical Ways To Get A Wifey by freelance(m): 5:48pm On Jul 31, 2007 |
freelance: I was playing along ;Dand wondering what type of human being is this. Although you made me feel as if i was committing a serious sin and you were also supporting it with the scriptures. Nice one all the same but must confess you were harsf haba Cheers! |
Re: 15 Biblical Ways To Get A Wifey by IDINRETE: 5:52pm On Jul 31, 2007 |
i was only joking |
Re: 15 Biblical Ways To Get A Wifey by freelance(m): 5:56pm On Jul 31, 2007 |
freelance: I was playing along ;Dand wondering what type of human being is this. Although you made me feel as if i was committing a serious sin and you were also supporting it with the scriptures. Nice one all the same but must confess you were harsh haba Cheers! |
Re: 15 Biblical Ways To Get A Wifey by OLAADEGBU(m): 4:41pm On Aug 07, 2007 |
This is the story of a king who had 4 wives and how he coped. Once upon a time there was a rich King who had four wives. |
Re: 15 Biblical Ways To Get A Wifey by otokx(m): 10:34am On Aug 09, 2007 |
nice collection |
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