Men And Women Compared - Jokes Etc - Nairaland
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| Men And Women Compared by Nobody: 6:23am On Jun 26, 2011 |
NICKNAMES: If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose. But if Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out for a beer, they will affectionately refer to each other as Lard-A*ss, Butt- Breath, Peanut-Head and Useless.  EATING OUT: When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $22.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.  BATHROOMS: A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.  ARGUMENTS: A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument!  DRESSING UP: A man will dress up for weddings, funerals. A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail. LOOKS Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.  I invite any woman to prove me wrong! |
| Re: Men And Women Compared by lysaa(f): 7:48am On Jun 26, 2011 |
Lol. Women don't carry calculators about except the market women n those who work in sawmills. I've seen a guy with different items in his bathroom for his facials. .no he isn't gay, tryin to keep a fresh face. And men dey argue die! U dey watch Nkem Owoh?-typical! Oya deduce ya verdict. |
| Re: Men And Women Compared by Nobody: 8:24am On Jun 26, 2011 |
Lollz Lysaa even if u Ladies dont go around wiv Calculatorz, i'ld bet u've got a Phone that've one (Nokia torch You know) and bout that facial guy, i'ld keenly guess he's a G*A*Y. Nkem Owoh?? I tink thatz jxt movies You neva commented bout u gurlz deteriorating after sleep, does that mean am ryt there? |
| Re: Men And Women Compared by jackpot(f): 11:40am On Jun 26, 2011 |
Can someone help summarize that textbook for me? El, sorry I have a busy schedule and I don't have time to read your wordy, confusing and humorless text-book of a joke. **no offence** |
| Re: Men And Women Compared by bright007(f): 12:19pm On Jun 26, 2011 |
Where is d joke? Mtcheeeewwwwww |
| Re: Men And Women Compared by jackpot(f): 2:15pm On Jun 26, 2011 |
I need somebody to tickle me so that I can laugh at this mutinious whacky quacky disappointment El called a joke. **hisses in Spanish** Mtcheeee, eee, eeEw |
| Re: Men And Women Compared by EfemenaXY: 2:32pm On Jun 26, 2011 |
El - seen some of these jokes already from Sledge's thread but yes, we do have the last say in any argument and yes, we dress up for everything - that's why you guys love us so - abi??   |
| Re: Men And Women Compared by mikuz(m): 2:39pm On Jun 26, 2011 |
What a useless topic! Mumu el cuerpo! |
| Re: Men And Women Compared by Nobody: 10:44am On Jun 27, 2011 |
Efemena_xy: And u go around wiv calculatorz? Abi |
| Re: Men And Women Compared by angelz(f): 12:45pm On Jun 27, 2011 |
@ el guapo. As regards appearing diff after sleep, it has never applied to me. Am not that beautiful, but d only diff on my face whenever l wake up is d oil. hence am not use to washin my face anytime l wake up b4 d usual bath. maybe cus am not use to makeups. D fact is not all ladies have a diff appearance after sleep. |
| Re: Men And Women Compared by Nobody: 12:57pm On Jun 27, 2011 |
Ok Angel i heard u ryt, u know i was talking frm xperience, ma Ex used to be dis anoda image after evrynite, maybe bad dreams of me not been wiv her in future i guessed  |
| Re: Men And Women Compared by angelz(f): 1:49pm On Jun 27, 2011 |
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| Re: Men And Women Compared by Nobody: 2:28pm On Jun 27, 2011 |
A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, Male and Female procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender. Male Procedure: 1. Drive up to the cash machine. 2. Put down your car window. 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN. 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw. 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt. 6. Put window up. 7. Drive off. Female Procedure: 1. Drive up to cash machine. 2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine. 3. Set parking brake, put the window down. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card. 4. Tell person on mobile 'phone you will call them back and hang up. Attempt to insert card into machine. 5. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car. Insert card. 6. Re-insert card the right way. 7. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page. 8. Enter PIN. 9. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN. 10. Enter amount of cash required. 11. Take a quick peek at yourself in rear view mirror. 12. Retrieve cash and receipt 13. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside. 14. Write debit amount in cheque register and place receipt in back of chequebook. 15. Re-check makeup. 16. Drive forward 2 feet. 17. Reverse back to cash machine. 18. Retrieve card. 19. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided. 20. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you 21. Restart stalled engine and pull off. 22. Redial person on cell phone. 23. Drive for 2 to 3 miles. 24. Release Parking Brake. |
| Re: Men And Women Compared by angelz(f): 5:06pm On Jun 27, 2011 |
na u sabi. U guess dat date ladies who complicate thier lives with all those unnecessary accessories have such ideas of ladies. for some1 like me, wu even use a male wallet. hardly move around with bags, not to talk of accessories that l dont even know how to use. its a nice 1 on d ladies though |
| Re: Men And Women Compared by yinkalink(f): 5:26pm On Jun 27, 2011 |
na u sabi  |
| Re: Men And Women Compared by Nobody: 7:59pm On Jun 27, 2011 |
@Angel,You doin gr8t in tryin to protect d interest of d ladies around d globe, tell me are u a female humanitarian rights advocate?? @Yinka, my love u know u aint doin me nice by keeping alone all day, many ladies tryn to impress ur boi |
| Re: Men And Women Compared by bashydemy(m): 8:43am On Jun 28, 2011 |
Nice observation El |
| Re: Men And Women Compared by Nobody: 9:05am On Jun 28, 2011 |
Tnx Bashy! What else would u xpect frm a fmr Minister of Women Affairs Western Europe! Its been long, how body n bizness?? |
| Re: Men And Women Compared by yinkalink(f): 6:20pm On Jun 28, 2011 |
El Guapo:  m so so so sorry |
| Re: Men And Women Compared by Nobody: 10:06pm On Jun 28, 2011 |
Its ok my Love, you know u shouldnt 4 any reason cry in ur present condition, i vow to stomach d loneliness, Promise!  |
| Re: Men And Women Compared by angelz(f): 12:01pm On Jun 29, 2011 |
el guapo. Am tellin u dis. Not all ladies r date vain. the only period im my life that l love eating at eatries is when am pregnant n dont av apetite for food at all. l only take snacks in dos situation. l dont really like eating out. homemade food is my best. l often querrel with my hussy most times when he feel like takin me out n l want to eat at home instead. Maybe am d opp. of what u call a lady, but am not alone. There are so many things l see in ladies dis days dat put me off as well. so many are diff, probably its d way we are brought up. |
| Re: Men And Women Compared by Nobody: 12:29pm On Jun 29, 2011 |
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| Re: Men And Women Compared by yinkalink(f): 5:38pm On Jun 29, 2011 |
El Guapo: dats y i love u |
| Re: Men And Women Compared by Nobody: 2:52am On Jun 30, 2011 |
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| Re: Men And Women Compared by olawalebabs(m): 6:59am On Jun 30, 2011 |
Please take all this love matter comot for this thread |
| Re: Men And Women Compared by mikuz(m): 7:49am On Jun 30, 2011 |
^ don't tell me you are jealous! Them don turn this topic to their bedroom sha. |
| Re: Men And Women Compared by Nobody: 9:27pm On Jun 30, 2011 |
Lol Who told u here's our bedroom? U neva visit our house naa n i wont give u d address, so as to avoid stories dat touch |
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