Dekatron:
But this girl's mom is DISCIPLINE/STRICTNESS/WICKEDNESS PERSONIFIED. It couldn't havw been an error

Children/Teenagers/Youth/People will at several points in life make decisions of their own that wouldn't be a reflection of the kind of upbringing they get at the home front. Reason you hear stuffs like pastors children are the worst etc. The best parents/guardians can do is to advice their children/wards.

Back to the topic, i wouldn't call it foolishness. I'll call it carelessness. While I wouldn't put the responsibility of safe sex on only the girl, she takes a larger percentage of the blame because she has more to lose in an event of pregnancy.

Once a cousin staying with us got pregnant. She was in her second or third year. Her elder sister was also around and both of them secured the services of one fella like that for an abortion. No one knew what happened until a few days later she collapsed and was rushed to the hospital. The doctor (her dad and mom's cousin) now told mom what's happened.

Mind you, the number sin in my home is missing prayers/church, but the only thing she asked my cousin is "So at your age you cannot protect yourself from HIV?"

I didn't get the question then, because i expected her to reproach my cousin for going against her teachings how the bible frowns against people engaging in premarital sex, abortion and all that ish.

It was years later i understood what she meant was that the result of my cousin's carelessness with regards to safe sex could have been worse than just pregnancy. And from experience, an alarming number of girls do not care about protection. They surprisingly encourage their partners not to use one. Not as of they are on pills or something.

As for marriage, i honestly will love to avoid the drama of having to deal with the child's father or his people later. Someone like Fani Kayode comes to mind. But al things being equal, i can marry a single mom

Op just find your way jare. Who says her involvement with other guys weren't sexual? She's also not a fool to be waiting endlessly for you that's why she got involved with other guys at different points even though she claimed it wasn't sexual. Don't be surprised she buzz you up and tell you she's found someone else.

Perhaps she's acting as if she's actually waiting for you, while it might just be that the relationship between her and other guys didn't work out.

She don move on before you since, you still dey form lover boy wey no wan break heart.

"however she always complains about my absence and had gotten involved with other men not sexually according to her, but all the other stuffs. I thought of getting married to her in absentia, however recently she got involved with someone and that eroded the trust and love i have for her."

You were busy working and hustling you're back side out while staying faithful so you can come back for her. You even tried securing student visa for her. But as usual she uses your absence and claims of missing you as excuse to get involved with other guys.

Chief, she's still single and "waiting for you" because those guys chop clean mouth waka.

I’m of the opinion that if the drive for love is to be married, then it’s selfish. "

Reminds me about Femi Kuti who said that perhaps if he and his ex wife hadn't gotten married, they would have still been together.