The bedroom moves that men love: try these s*x positions tonight.
Want to spice things up in the bedroom? Make his night and drive him crazy with these s*x positions that men love. Ultimately, s*x is about love and intimacy, so while the positions are part of the fun, the real payoff is the way various maneuvers allow you to connect and explore each other in different ways.
ALSO READ https://joseph9jablog..com.ng/2017/03/some-ways-you-can-be-good-kisser.html
1. 1. Woman on Top
2. Missionary
This standard go-to is a favorite because it puts him in control, while still being intimate: your hips are free to do all the work, and you can lock lips and eyes with ease. And while he’s in the power position on top of you, the two of you can set the pace together. If you want him to go slower or deeper, put your hands on his hips and guide him. The best s*x is like a conversation, and missionary allows you to communicate with your bodies.
3. Reverse Cowgirl
This reverse variation of the woman on top position is the best of both worlds for your guy. It gives him the $exy view he gets during doggie style but it puts you in control. This position doesn’t allow for a ton of touching or eye contact, but it’s a nice contrast to some of the more classic, romantic positions. If you’re craving a connection flash a look back at him while you’re doing your thing—it’ll drive both of you over the edge.
ALSO RERAD https://joseph9jablog..com.ng/2016/11/things-woman-loves-most-during-sex.html
4. Doggie Style
This rear entry positions puts him in control, allowing him to call the shots and to go at the speed that’s best for him. Plus, it allows for deeper penetration, making him feel like king in the bedroom. Some women love the intense full feeling, but if it feels like too much, let him know. Communication is key to enjoying s*x and experiencing the full psychological benefits of physical intimacy.
5. Standing Up
Getting it on while standing up is probably not your go-to move, but it’s perfect for that sweaty, gotta-have-you-now s*x that’ll make him feel irresistible. Whether he’s bending you over the new kitchen table or you’re steadying yourself against the wall, this spontaneous position is perfect for a quickie.
6. Spooning
s*x while spooning is the ultimate intimate position, and a go-to for when you’re feeling lazy and affectionate. Not only does it give him total access to your bod, it also frees your digits up so that you can give yourself a hand, a move that’s sure to drive him wild. Make it even hotter by twisting your body and head slightly towards him so you can smooch while his hands roam. Afterward you can slip into an easy, snuggley sleep.
ALSO READ https://joseph9jablog..com.ng/2016/12/ways-to-find-her-center of gravity-techniques.html
7. lap dance
Pull up a chair and have him take a seat while you get on top. He’ll love the look and feel of you straddling him, and having you in control will help him last longer, too. A bonus? Unlike the standard woman-on-top position, this ones allows for you to stay super close, kiss, and make eye contact. Plus, he still gets to be aggressive with his hands, tugging on your hair, rubbing your back, and pulling you closer.
So, there you have it, give it all to your husband and enjoy a $exful marriage. And hey, to you the unmarried reading this, s*x is worth waiting for!

{/url}https://joseph9jablog..com{/url}

The bedroom moves that men love: try these s*x positions tonight.
Want to spice things up in the bedroom? Make his night and drive him crazy with these s*x positions that men love. Ultimately, s*x is about love and intimacy, so while the positions are part of the fun, the real payoff is the way various maneuvers allow you to connect and explore each other in different ways.
ALSO READ https://joseph9jablog..com.ng/2017/03/some-ways-you-can-be-good-kisser.html
1. 1. Woman on Top
2. Missionary
This standard go-to is a favorite because it puts him in control, while still being intimate: your hips are free to do all the work, and you can lock lips and eyes with ease. And while he’s in the power position on top of you, the two of you can set the pace together. If you want him to go slower or deeper, put your hands on his hips and guide him. The best s*x is like a conversation, and missionary allows you to communicate with your bodies.
3. Reverse Cowgirl
This reverse variation of the woman on top position is the best of both worlds for your guy. It gives him the $exy view he gets during doggie style but it puts you in control. This position doesn’t allow for a ton of touching or eye contact, but it’s a nice contrast to some of the more classic, romantic positions. If you’re craving a connection flash a look back at him while you’re doing your thing—it’ll drive both of you over the edge.
ALSO RERAD https://joseph9jablog..com.ng/2016/11/things-woman-loves-most-during-sex.html
4. Doggie Style
This rear entry positions puts him in control, allowing him to call the shots and to go at the speed that’s best for him. Plus, it allows for deeper penetration, making him feel like king in the bedroom. Some women love the intense full feeling, but if it feels like too much, let him know. Communication is key to enjoying s*x and experiencing the full psychological benefits of physical intimacy.
5. Standing Up
Getting it on while standing up is probably not your go-to move, but it’s perfect for that sweaty, gotta-have-you-now s*x that’ll make him feel irresistible. Whether he’s bending you over the new kitchen table or you’re steadying yourself against the wall, this spontaneous position is perfect for a quickie.
6. Spooning
s*x while spooning is the ultimate intimate position, and a go-to for when you’re feeling lazy and affectionate. Not only does it give him total access to your bod, it also frees your digits up so that you can give yourself a hand, a move that’s sure to drive him wild. Make it even hotter by twisting your body and head slightly towards him so you can smooch while his hands roam. Afterward you can slip into an easy, snuggley sleep.
ALSO READ https://joseph9jablog..com.ng/2016/12/ways-to-find-her-center of gravity-techniques.html
7. lap dance
Pull up a chair and have him take a seat while you get on top. He’ll love the look and feel of you straddling him, and having you in control will help him last longer, too. A bonus? Unlike the standard woman-on-top position, this ones allows for you to stay super close, kiss, and make eye contact. Plus, he still gets to be aggressive with his hands, tugging on your hair, rubbing your back, and pulling you closer.
So, there you have it, give it all to your husband and enjoy a $exful marriage. And hey, to you the unmarried reading this, s*x is worth waiting for!

{/url}https://joseph9jablog..com{/url}

As cliché as it sounds, a kiss can feel like a Michael Bay-level explosion, or it can make you feel absolutely nothing at all. And if a common goal of the kiss is helping determine your attaction to someone, lip-locking can also establish a budding relationship: it’s the great divide between friend and lover.
After all, a kiss can be just as intimate as sex, and just as important. (I, for one, remember certain smooches more than most of my sexual encounters.) But there’s more nuance to a simple kiss than just an equation of lips and tongues, and there are easy ways to set the pace even if you’re not the most experienced kisser. Below, 10 tips on how to make the most out of a make-out session (sorry, I had to) like you’re a seasoned pro.

ALSO READ https://joseph9jablog..com.ng/2017/03/signs-on-how-to-know-that-your-partner.html

1. Freshen Up
It’s common sense, but too many people are guilty of going without correcting bad breath. Practice self-awareness and make sure you keep your teeth clean and your breath fresh. It doesn’t matter how good a kisser you are, since a fresh whiff of garlic can really kill the mood, especially if you’re just getting to know each other.
2. Build the Moment
Whether it’s the end of a first date, or after a few weeks of dating, the anticipation you build creates tension which can only be broken by…a kiss (just kidding, but really). It’s just like any moment of conflict in any good developing story! Just make sure you don’t wait so long that the other person questions whether you’re interested in them.
3. Work Your Eyes
When you’re leaning in for a kiss, you can’t use your mouth to speak, so why not say something with eye contact? When you’re actually mid-kiss, though, dial it back a bit since it can be a little creepy when one of you has your eyes open, and it can be distracting. Just as a blind person’s other four senses are enhanced, temporary blindness during a kiss can intensify the way it feels—the sound of another person’s breathing or the gentle touch of their hand.

ALSO READ https://joseph9jablog..com.ng/2017/03/the-main-reason-why-you-should-always.html

4. Kiss People You Like
We’re all guilty of kissing people we could care less about: maybe on the dance floor, or during a moment of weakness late night in the bar. If you only kiss people you really want to kiss, those kisses will feel a lot better and you’ll naturally be more invested in them. Kissing too many people might lead to numbness. But on the other hand, there’s always the manta “practice makes perfect.”
5. Take Your Time
Kissing is a team effort. Don’t squelch someone’s spirit by going on the offensive (AKA getting too heavy-handed with tongue) or trying too hard to control the situation. Feel out each other’s tendencies and kissing styles, and go from there.
6. Mind Your Tongue
Tongue use can be great, or horrible. Remember, it’s a kiss, not a facial wash. No one likes to be attacked by a tongue, or have their entire mouth filled by someone’s tongue. But a tongue used well can make a kiss magical.

ALSO READhttps://joseph9jablog..com.ng/2017/03/reasonwhy-women-are-comfortable-without.html
7. Pay Attention to Surroundings
Whether it’s candlelight, a tent under the stars, in the ocean, or in a sudden rain storm, special new surroundings make a kiss interesting. Because your eyes are closed most of the time during a kiss, you’ll hear and even feel the things that are happening around you more clearly.
8. Be Spontaneous
Catching someone off guard with a kiss can be a wonderful thing. Give them a little gift when they least expect it.
9. Control Your Saliva
Make sure, like your tongue, you control your saliva. No one needs a river of slobber down their chin.
10. Explore
Don’t get fixated on someone’s face. Touching their neck or sides, or just holding them close during a kiss can add a new level of intimacy to an already special moment.


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These tips are ones that I believe can be used to make new girl friends no matter where you live. They are specifically geared toward women, but with some minor tweaks can be applicable to guys too!
READ ALSO https://joseph9jablog..com.ng/2017/03/five-sex-position-you-to-try-with-your.html

1) Join some sort of group.
This is one of the easiest ways to meet like-minded people who probably want to make friends as well. Some ideas:
* a church/church group
* volunteer somewhere
* fitness classes
* other hobby classes (cooking, sewing, etc.)
* networking events in your industry
2) Tag along with someone who has a big social circle.
I’m not saying to be a leech, but chances are that someone who has a large circle of friends will be more than willing to let you in. Be honest with them — say you’re looking to make new friends, and would love to join on the next group hangout.
3) Start off with a compliment.
The most awkward part of making a new girl friend is just starting a conversation with them. I’ve found that simply complimenting other girls is the easiest way to break the ice and find a common thing for you to chat about. Not to mention I think girls should make it more of a point to compliment one another, but we’ll save that for another post.
4) Organize a girls’ night.
This is something I’ve learned from my best friend Jessi. From the moment I met her, she was the type of person that always created fun opportunities. Start a group text or email chain with a group of girls, and figure out a date that you can all go out to dinner, or have a night in of baking and pedicures. Most girls love these opportunities, so why not be the one who organizes them?
READ ALSO https://joseph9jablog..com.ng/2017/03/some-mistake-women-always-make.html
5) Always give the benefit of the doubt.
Don’t be that girl who assumes all other girls are b*tches. Sure, there are some bad seeds out there, but I like to believe that most girls are nice if you give them the chance. For some reason, girls have been wired to automatically not like other girls (what is UP with that?), and I suggest going against that mentality as much as possible.
Practically speaking, giving a girl a compliment (as mentioned above) is actually a great way to gauge whether she’s friend-material or not. For example, if her response to “I love your shoes!” is “I know, right??” then… well, eh.
6) Utilize social media.
I’ve met some amazing girls through social media and blogging — including my best friend Monica. Millions of people are finding dates online these days, so why not use the Internet to find friends? If it feels too weird for you, start by “friending” or following someone who you have mutual friends with. And… it’s 2017, so get over thinking it’s weird!
READ ALSO https://joseph9jablog..com.ng/2017/03/things-that-drain-your-brain-that-you.html
7) You have to take the initiative.
I think that this is what it all boils down to. When it comes to making new friends… it’s a mindset that you just have to have. Stop hoping that someone will notice you sitting all alone and reach out to you. I’ve tried that before, and it rarely works. Sorry I’m not sorry for the tough love, but the truth is that YOU are the one responsible when it comes to making new friends. So put yourself out there, will ya?


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Just as we women notice pretty much everything there is to notice about a guy on our first date, men do too! They may NEVER bring such things up in conversation (‘coz who wants to risk a first date!), but deep down, they’ve already secretly checked you out a few times. Yes, we know, dating can be quite nerve-wracking! So, if you’re wondering what you need to have on-point to nail that first date, we list out 8 things that we know men notice when they first meet a girl!
1. The Way She Carries Herself
Men are attracted to women who know how to carry themselves with elan. A confident posture is interpreted as “sexy” by most men! So ladies, the next time to bump into a cute guy, make sure that you’ve got your posture right and your sexy on!
things guys notice about a girl
READ ALSO https://joseph9jablog..com.ng/2017/03/feeling-intense-pain-during-sx.html
2. The Only Accessory That Matters…
Her smile. One of the few things a guy instantly notices about a girl is her smile. A genuine smile indicates happiness, optimism and friendliness, making him only more comfortable around you!
things guys notice about a girl
3. Pretty Peepers
Whoever said, eyes are the window to one’s soul, was not bluffing. Your eyes CAN communicate more than words. The way someone looks at you can tell you their intentions instantly. If he’s staring right into your eyes, know that he’s just trying to know more about you.
things guys notice about a girl
4. The Mane Issue
Believe it or not, men adore women with healthy hair. Hair do add dollops to your personality, and a man obviously notices that about you when he first meets you! If he’s been shifting his attention from your eyes to your hair, he’s probably mesmerized by it!
instant things guys notice about a girlgirl
READ ALSO https://joseph9jablog..com.ng/2017/03/signs-on-how-to-know-that-your-partner.html
5. Can She Talk The Walk?
A girl who is able to hold a conversation is already attractive in a guy’s mind. The way she talks, the tone she uses to put her point across and her ability to keep the conversation flowing are a few things guys find very attractive!
things guys notice about a girl
6. Her Sense Of Style
A classy dresser has already bagged brownie points from his end. The way she dresses gives him a certain impression about the woman’s personality and preferences. Her ability to give an outfit personality AND be comfortable in it is what amazes him!
things guys notice about a girl
READ ALSO https://joseph9jablog..com.ng/2017/03/some-mistake-women-always-make.html
7. Nailed It!
Women are not the only ones who give attention to detail. Yes, men notice tiny things like your nails, especially when you’re meeting them for the first time! The way you’ve shaped and coloured your nails speaks volumes about your personality.
things guys notice about a girl
8. Foot Impression
How you maintain your feet is a thing a LOT of men notice, and care about. If a woman can look after her feet, she is someone who pays attention to detail and is meticulous about her hygiene – and that (believe it or not) is a quality men dig! Time to book that pedicure appointment, ladies!

{/url}https://joseph9jablog..com{/url}

I want you to believe you are a worthy person. I want you to believe that you deserve to be loved and to find a romantic partner that will cherish you. Get rid of the fear of being forever single, because it is just that: a fear, an emotion that you have about yourself, a belief about your future—not reality.
Here are 10 ways to help you see things the way they really are:
1. Stop Criticizing Yourself
Take an honest look at how often you put yourself down during an average day. How often do you criticize yourself by telling yourself things like: I’m so stupid. I’m too fat. I’m too old. I’m ugly. I’m damaged goods. I always screw things up. I’m an idiot. And so on and so forth. Rings a bell? Well if you talk to yourself in this way, your mood will drop, your fears and insecurities will increase, and you are basically conditioning yourself to believe you are an unworthy person. Your thoughts have a direct impact on how you feel.
READ ALSO https://joseph9jablog..com.ng/2016/11/things-woman-loves-most-during-sex.html
It’s simple. Think good things: feel good. Think bad things: feel bad.
You are doing this to yourself! Stop it! Be gentle with yourself. Maybe someone else made you believe you were unworthy through criticism, abuse, or rejection. Don’t give your power away just because some fool criticized you. Honey, you’re the bomb! Who was this fool, anyway? Forgive yourself for making mistakes. When the voice of negative self-talk comes on, try this: Tell the voice to leave you alone; tell your inner voice to stop pestering you; say to yourself: I’m a worthy person. It’s a no brainer, hot-stuff: if you keep focusing on your perceived shortcomings, you’ll trick yourself into believing no one will ever want to be with you.
2. Feel Good About Yourself
This cannot be said enough. Imagine you walked into a car dealership and the salesman told you he had a car for you. He says, “Well, it’s kinda old and beat up. It still runs, but it’s high on gas, there’s a few scratches on the paint, and I’m not sure how reliable it is.” Now, how much would you want to buy that car? You’d be out of there in a New York second and looking for something better in no time, I’m quite sure. Why? Because if the person selling you the car doesn’t even believe in the quality of the car, why should you?
This is exactly why you need to increase your confidence and self-esteem. If you don’t believe in what you are selling, then why should others? Confidence is attractive. If you believe you have something valuable to offer, so will others. The more you truly love yourself, the more convinced you’ll be that you will find your soul mate.
3. Realize You Have Something Valuable to Offer
What are some of your great qualities? Are you an honest, hard-working, sensitive person? Are you an athletic, artistic, family-oriented individual? Are a relaxed, easy-going person, or an organized, efficient person? Not only can you find someone who shares the same interests and qualities that you hold, but you can also complement (not complete with!) your future partner by bringing in your own strengths to the relationship. Basically, don’t think only about what you want from a relationship, but think about what you bring to a relationship and how someone will be happy to benefit from your great qualities.
4. Change the Way You Think and Feel About the Opposite Sex
So many individuals hold false beliefs about the opposite sex. Because you’ve had bad experiences, your way to appraise the opposite sex has changed.
What are the beliefs you hold about the opposite sex? Do you think things like:
.All men are jerks.
.Men only want sex.
.Men fear relationships.
.Men can’t be faithful.
.All women are gold diggers.
.All women are emotional explosions.
.All the good ones are taken.
Well, that’s simply not true. Men want love and marriage just as much as women do. There are still plenty of great, fun-loving, charming, and gentle people out there. If you hold these negative thoughts about the opposite sex, your fear of staying single forever multiplies because you are constantly telling yourself that there is no one for you out there. I know a ton of great single males and females who would love to be in a reciprocal loving relationship. A ton!
5. Change the Way You Think and Feel About Being Single
Have you noticed how being married and having children has become a measure of personal success and worth? There seems to be tremendous social pressure to be in a relationship, especially for women. No matter how successful a woman is, if she’s single, people think she’s either unhappy or so difficult to get along with that she can’t make a relationship work. This makes being single look like some sort of personal failure. You are not a failure. Your personal value is exactly the same whether you are single or in a relationship. Honestly, you could be in a relationship today if you wanted to. It probably wouldn’t be a great relationship, but you’d be in a relationship. So being single just means that you want to wait for Mr. Right, not Mr. Right Now; or it can mean you have taken time to heal from your previous relationship (which seems wise).
READ ALSO https://joseph9jablog..com.ng/2017/03/these-four-4-things-you-should-never-do.html
6. Focus on What You Do Have
Be grateful for friends and family. Your fear of being alone makes you feel and act desperate (I know—I’ve been there, too). But nobody wants to fill the position of the interchangeable boyfriend or girlfriend. People want to know you love them for who they are, and that you don’t just need someone to take care of you. Be grateful for all the beautiful things that you do have. Focusing on the one thing that is missing from your life makes you miss the larger picture: You have tons of great things going for you already!
7. Schedule Activities Every Week and Enjoy Yourself
Make the most of your time alone and enjoy yourself. Being in a relationship leaves less time for hanging out with friends, reading books, scheduling activities that are just for you (no matter how great your new boyfriend is, I doubt he’ll want to go have bikini wax with you). See this as a relational-vacation time! Go out there and have some fun. By filling your life with activities, you won’t focus on the “emptiness” as much. Instead, you’ll see that you have a rich life, and you’ll feel happier. Being happier will make you an instant date-magnet! People want to be around happy people. Confidence is the most attractive outfit.
8. Don’t Idealize Other People’s Relationships
Unfortunately, feeling loved and building a significant relationship is so important that a lot of people will prefer to stay in a bad relationship than to be single. Some people build relationships before they get rid of their fear of being single and alone, before they identify what they want, or before they heal the hurt of past relationships. Are you part of those who try to heal the hurt from a previous relationship with the next? Some people who do this are lucky enough to find a good partner, yes, but not everyone. Some fall into relationships that don’t correspond to their personal needs and they wake up 10 years later caught in the middle of a relationship full of turmoil. Not all couples are happy ones. Be grateful that you have something new and shiny to look forward to—you can wait and choose the kind of partner that really corresponds with your needs.
READ ALSO https://joseph9jablog..com.ng/2017/03/five-5-ways-some-ladies-are-destroying.html

9. Don’t Be Jealous of Other’s Relationships
Do you feel a pang of bitterness when your colleague tells you she’s getting married? Or when your friend tells you about an amazing date that she’s had? You might be thinking “Why her? Why not me?”—and there goes your day. Feel happy for people who find their soul mate, send out positive thoughts out to happy couples you meet on the street. When you see a happy couple holding hands, think: “How lovely, that’s what I want! I can’t wait to see who’ll be the person holding my hand soon!” This positive thought automatically shifts your perspective and formulates an optimistic view of your own relational future.
10. Seek Professional Help
If you need a bit of extra support in building your self-worth, why not seek help from a therapist? On your path to building greater love and respect or yourself, a little of support and validation can go a long way. Going to therapy doesn’t mean there is something “wrong” with you; it means you’ve decided to take matters in your own hands and to recruit a professional to help you reach your goal.
Thanks for reading. All the best, and don’t forget to love yourself!

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Just as we women notice pretty much everything there is to notice about a guy on our first date, men do too! They may NEVER bring such things up in conversation (‘coz who wants to risk a first date!), but deep down, they’ve already secretly checked you out a few times. Yes, we know, dating can be quite nerve-wracking! So, if you’re wondering what you need to have on-point to nail that first date, we list out 8 things that we know men notice when they first meet a girl!
1. The Way She Carries Herself
Men are attracted to women who know how to carry themselves with elan. A confident posture is interpreted as “sexy” by most men! So ladies, the next time to bump into a cute guy, make sure that you’ve got your posture right and your sexy on!
things guys notice about a girl
READ ALSO https://joseph9jablog..com.ng/2017/03/feeling-intense-pain-during-sx.html
2. The Only Accessory That Matters…
Her smile. One of the few things a guy instantly notices about a girl is her smile. A genuine smile indicates happiness, optimism and friendliness, making him only more comfortable around you!
things guys notice about a girl
3. Pretty Peepers
Whoever said, eyes are the window to one’s soul, was not bluffing. Your eyes CAN communicate more than words. The way someone looks at you can tell you their intentions instantly. If he’s staring right into your eyes, know that he’s just trying to know more about you.
things guys notice about a girl
4. The Mane Issue
Believe it or not, men adore women with healthy hair. Hair do add dollops to your personality, and a man obviously notices that about you when he first meets you! If he’s been shifting his attention from your eyes to your hair, he’s probably mesmerized by it!
instant things guys notice about a girlgirl
READ ALSO https://joseph9jablog..com.ng/2017/03/signs-on-how-to-know-that-your-partner.html
5. Can She Talk The Walk?
A girl who is able to hold a conversation is already attractive in a guy’s mind. The way she talks, the tone she uses to put her point across and her ability to keep the conversation flowing are a few things guys find very attractive!
things guys notice about a girl
6. Her Sense Of Style
A classy dresser has already bagged brownie points from his end. The way she dresses gives him a certain impression about the woman’s personality and preferences. Her ability to give an outfit personality AND be comfortable in it is what amazes him!
things guys notice about a girl
READ ALSO https://joseph9jablog..com.ng/2017/03/some-mistake-women-always-make.html
7. Nailed It!
Women are not the only ones who give attention to detail. Yes, men notice tiny things like your nails, especially when you’re meeting them for the first time! The way you’ve shaped and coloured your nails speaks volumes about your personality.
things guys notice about a girl
8. Foot Impression
How you maintain your feet is a thing a LOT of men notice, and care about. If a woman can look after her feet, she is someone who pays attention to detail and is meticulous about her hygiene – and that (believe it or not) is a quality men dig! Time to book that pedicure appointment, ladies!


{/url}https://joseph9jablog..com{/url}

1. Dating the guy who makes obscure movie and TV references to see if you get them. It makes you appreciate the ones who don’t try so hard to be cool.
READ ALSO https://joseph9jablog..com.ng/2017/03/five-sex-position-you-to-try-with-your.html
2. Wearing the wrong thing to a job interview. So educational.
3. Cooking recipes that are waaay over your head, and messing them up. You don’t have to play it by the book to be a great cook.
4. Getting a Brazilian wax so you know never to get one again.
5. Splurging big bucks on a stunning, drop-dead-gorgeous dress…that will hang in your closet unworn for years because it’s simply not “you.” Every time you look at it you’ll be reminded to always stay true to your fashion self. Even if that self is more of a stunning jeans-and-tee girl.
6. Getting that trendy haircut.
READ ALSO https://joseph9jablog..com.ng/2017/03/five-5-ways-some-ladies-are-destroying.html
7. Dating the “bad boy.” Turns out Mr. Right should actually be nice!
8. Having at least one job that’s completely wrong for you—it helps you narrow down what you don’t want in a career.
9. Going to bed with an entire kitchen full of dirty dishes and glasses after hosting a party—because you’ll never, ever do it again.
10. Overdressing. (You may have been wrong, but let’s face it, you looked better than everyone there.)
11. Attempting natural childbirth. For some people, it’s the right choice. But now at least you know you’re the kind of woman who’ll TAKE THE DRUGS.
12. Wearing the cute, light-colored top with a 7-month old. Two words: green puke.
READ ALSO https://joseph9jablog..com.ng/2017/03/signs-on-how-to-know-that-your-partner.html
13. Not listening to your mother. Now, life experiences have taught you that there was a good reason for all those manner, grammar and posture lessons, not to mention a heavy dose of compassion. Because she was right.

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The weekend is here again.. after all the hustle and bustle of the week, you retire back home to the loving arms of your partner.
READ ALSO https://joseph9jablog..com.ng/2017/03/these-four-4-things-you-should-never-do.html
However, it is imperative that you keep our family life separate from business and social lives. Therefore, after all the week’s work, weekend should be family time with to be enjoyed fully with your partner. To spice things up this weekend, here are five s*x positions to surprise your bae with.
1. PRETZEL DIP

How
You lie on your right side; he kneels, straddling your right leg and curling your left leg around his left side.
Benefit
With this s*x position you get the deeper penetration of doggy style while still being able to make that important eye contact.
Bonus
Get your guy to put his hands to work.
2. FLATIRON

How
You lie facedown on the bed, legs straight, hips slightly raised.
Benefit
This s*x position creates a snug fit. Your guy’s man-hood will seem even larger.
Bonus
Some shallow thrusts and deep breathing will help him last longer.
3. G-WHIZ

How
You lie back with your legs resting on each of his shoulders.
Benefit
This s*x position is awesome because when you raise your legs, it narrows the v**ina and helps target your center of gravity.
Bonus
Ask him to start rocking you in a side-to-side or up-and-down motion. That should bring his man-hood into direct contact with your center of gravity.
4. FACE-OFF

How
He sits on a chair or the edge of the bed; you face him, seated on his lap.
Benefit
During this s*x position, you’re in control of the angle and depth of the entry and thrust. Being seated provides support, so it’s great for marathon s*x.
READ ALSO https://joseph9jablog..com.ng/2017/03/some-thing-guys-truly-dont-love-about.html
Bonus
Let your fingers (and hands) do the talking. Once seated, you can put your hands anywhere on your body or his to make things more interesting.
5. COWGIRL’S HELPER

How
Similar to the popular cowgirl s*x position, you kneel on top of him, pushing off his chest and sliding up and down his thighs. But he helps by supporting some of your weight and grabbing your hips or thighs while he rises to meet each thrust.
Benefit
READ ALSO https://joseph9jablog..com.ng/2017/03/love-vs-lust-difference-between-woman.html

This s*x position puts sess stress on your legs, making climaxing easier. Plus, female-dominant s*x positions delay his climax, so everyone wins.
Bonus
Alternate between shallow and deep thrusting to stimulate different parts of the v**ina.

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The weekend is here again.. after all the hustle and bustle of the week, you retire back home to the loving arms of your partner.
READ ALSO https://joseph9jablog..com.ng/2017/03/these-four-4-things-you-should-never-do.html
However, it is imperative that you keep our family life separate from business and social lives. Therefore, after all the week’s work, weekend should be family time with to be enjoyed fully with your partner. To spice things up this weekend, here are five s*x positions to surprise your bae with.
1. PRETZEL DIP

How
You lie on your right side; he kneels, straddling your right leg and curling your left leg around his left side.
Benefit
With this s*x position you get the deeper penetration of doggy style while still being able to make that important eye contact.
Bonus
Get your guy to put his hands to work.
2. FLATIRON

How
You lie facedown on the bed, legs straight, hips slightly raised.
Benefit
This s*x position creates a snug fit. Your guy’s man-hood will seem even larger.
Bonus
Some shallow thrusts and deep breathing will help him last longer.
3. G-WHIZ

How
You lie back with your legs resting on each of his shoulders.
Benefit
This s*x position is awesome because when you raise your legs, it narrows the v**ina and helps target your center of gravity.
Bonus
Ask him to start rocking you in a side-to-side or up-and-down motion. That should bring his man-hood into direct contact with your center of gravity.
4. FACE-OFF

How
He sits on a chair or the edge of the bed; you face him, seated on his lap.
Benefit
During this s*x position, you’re in control of the angle and depth of the entry and thrust. Being seated provides support, so it’s great for marathon s*x.
READ ALSO https://joseph9jablog..com.ng/2017/03/some-thing-guys-truly-dont-love-about.html
Bonus
Let your fingers (and hands) do the talking. Once seated, you can put your hands anywhere on your body or his to make things more interesting.
5. COWGIRL’S HELPER

How
Similar to the popular cowgirl s*x position, you kneel on top of him, pushing off his chest and sliding up and down his thighs. But he helps by supporting some of your weight and grabbing your hips or thighs while he rises to meet each thrust.
Benefit
READ ALSO https://joseph9jablog..com.ng/2017/03/love-vs-lust-difference-between-woman.html

This s*x position puts sess stress on your legs, making climaxing easier. Plus, female-dominant s*x positions delay his climax, so everyone wins.
Bonus
Alternate between shallow and deep thrusting to stimulate different parts of the v**ina.

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For the average woman, pain during s*x is rather common; and most of the time, it can be fixed by either changing positions or using lubrication during s*x.
READ ALSO https://joseph9jablog..com.ng/2017/03/some-of-reason-why-christian-woman-will.html

However, if the pain continues or gets worse, it may be a sign that something is wrong internally. For instance, physicians say, deep pain during s*x can be a symptom of endometriosis, while a sudden, sharp pain during s*x could be a ruptured ovarian cyst.
Again, doctors say, fibroid or cervicitis — that is the inflammation of the cervix caused by sexually transmitted disease or other infection can also make s*x painful.
If the pain is more of a burning or stabbing around the opening of the v**ina, it could signal a condition called vulvodynia (a chronic pain syndrome that affects the vulva area and occurs without an identifiable cause.)
If you sense pain during the insertion of man-hood into the v**ina — or if you can’t even tolerate the insertion of anything into the v**ina, it may be due to a condition called vaginismus (a painful spasmodic contraction of the v**ina in response to physical contact or pressure, especially during s*xual intercourse).
Some people experience vaginal swelling, itching, and/or pain after s*x, especially if they use condom. If the pain only lasts for about 36 hours, you might just be allergic to latex.
READ ALSO https://joseph9jablog..com.ng/2017/03/the-main-reason-why-you-should-always.html

If you have a latex allergy, you can use the polyurethane condom as an alternative and avoid this allergic painful reaction.

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Though no one expects a partner to cheat, it still happens anyway. So, what are the tell-tale signs of a partner who might likely cheat on you?
These ones…
• When s/he is emotionally distant.This disconnection is usually the prelude to a dying relationship. For a potential cheater, it’s easier to distance oneself emotionally from someone than to confront the real problem. Psychologists regard it as cowardly.
READ ALSO
https://joseph9jablog..com.ng/2017/03/the-pains-of-busty-lady.html
• Absence of s*xual intimacy. When two people are still in love, s*x is normal and it happens without prompting. However, once infidelity enters the picture, physical disconnection sets in and absence of s*x is its expression. . This is especially true is no prior issues existed in this area. If nothing else, this behavior is indicative of some type of emotional or physical disconnect. Regardless, given the importance of physical connection in a relationship, a serious discussion is in order.
• When your partner suddenly demands “privacy.” Of course, in any relationship, everyone needs the “me” time; but when your partner is always in need of time alone, something isn’t right and it may be another way of easing him/herself out of your relationship.
• A sudden defensive attitude. When one of the partners become defensive in everything, especially when the complaint has to do with observable shift in attitude, then watch out. You might be looking at a cheater right in front of you!
• Irregular financial habits. Two people involved in a serious relationship understand the importance of finance. Usually, any outgoing money is acknowledged and accounted for. If your partner, all of a sudden, drifts from this mutual understanding and engages in spending for which they cannot account, it may indeed be a sign of detachment at best – and infidelity, at worst.
READ ALSO https://joseph9jablog..com.ng/2017/03/things-that-drain-your-brain-that-you.html
• Suddenly becoming fashion conscious. We all want to look our best for various reasons; most commonly, to look respectable and professional. However, an abrupt change in appearance without explanation is uncommon, especially for those who have shown little interest in the past. Those in a midlife crisis often cite a change in fashion as a sort of “motivation” to look younger and more presentable. Of course, the desire to appear more attractive to the opposite s*x is a very real possibility.
• S/he ignores your close friends. One tell-tale sign of a cheater is a sudden disconnect from your circle of friends. It seems strange and may be a forewarning of some relationship problem. For cheaters, it is much easier and convenient to separate from those close to you than to be upfront about their true feelings. This is even more conspicuous if your other half and social circle were close at one point in time.

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Ever thought about the differences between love and s*x? Sometimes we have carnal desires, other times, we yearn for an emotional connection. BUT. What the hell does it all mean to men? We think we have a pretty good idea. From ‘she’s the one’ to a casual romp in the bed, here are the 20 differences between the woman he sleeps with and the woman he loves…
READ ALSO
https://joseph9jablog..com.ng/2017/03/benefit-we-get-from-having-sex.html
1. The woman he SLEEPS with is his 12AM booty call
When he’s out and about with mates and isn’t getting lucky it’s OK. He always knows he has someone to call.
2. The woman he LOVES he’ll make sacrifices for
That means ditching the guys to spend time with his missus and doing things (i.e. shopping) that he wouldn’t normally want to do. Because, well, he loves her.
3. The woman he SLEEPS with can do whatever she wants
In a no strings attached kinda thing he doesn’t need to worry about how she’s doing or what’s she’s up to. They may not talk for one week, one month – it’s whatever-whenever.
4. The woman he LOVES gets him worried
The more he falls for her the more he wants to protect her. If she doesn’t call or isn’t responding to his texts, no doubt, he’ll show concern. And jealousy? Don’t even
5. The woman he SLEEPS with is ‘just for fun’
Never say no is the motto. If ANY man’s offered, he’ll take it. Trust us, we know what we’re talking about (it’s in Murphy’s Law On s*x).
6. The woman he LOVES is special
He always has a big cheesy grin on his face when he introduces her to new people and he’ll make sure they all know her name. Why? Because he wants them to appreciate her as much as he does.
READ ALSO
https://joseph9jablog..com.ng/2017/03/the-main-reason-why-you-should-always.html
7. The woman he SLEEPS with is convenient
She probably has very little expectations (that’s casual s*x for you) so for him it’s GREAT. Especially if he’s busy with studying or his career. No emotions, no money and ZERO investment. Not a bad deal, eh?
8. The woman he LOVES gets surprises
When a guy’s in love he likes to shower her with gifts. And not because women love material things (OK, just a little bit), but because he wants to see her happy! Nothing is more gratifying than making your girl smile.
9. The woman he SLEEPS with is shown her way out
After s*x, there’s no other reason for her to stick around. Cuddling? After-s*x chat? No way.
10. The woman he LOVES leaves her things at his
His home is her home away from home. Her tooth brush and spare clothes always have a place at his. And if she’s really lucky he’ll even do her laundry. Yeahuh.
11. The woman he SLEEPS with isn’t treated
For guys, casual s*x is casual s*x. But there are always women who think they can eventually change their minds. This is where they go wrong. Once a woman gives it all away he has no other reason to pursue her.
READ ALSO https://joseph9jablog..com.ng/2017/03/three-safety-things-you-should-not-do.html
12. The woman he LOVES teaches him how she wants to be treated
Men screw up. Yes. Not by cheating standards (there is zero tolerance for that) of course, mainly just in small ways that piss us off and make us feel less worthy than we really are.

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Ever thought about the differences between love and s*x? Sometimes we have carnal desires, other times, we yearn for an emotional connection. BUT. What the hell does it all mean to men? We think we have a pretty good idea. From ‘she’s the one’ to a casual romp in the bed, here are the 20 differences between the woman he sleeps with and the woman he loves…
READ ALSO
https://joseph9jablog..com.ng/2017/03/benefit-we-get-from-having-sex.html
1. The woman he SLEEPS with is his 12AM booty call
When he’s out and about with mates and isn’t getting lucky it’s OK. He always knows he has someone to call.
2. The woman he LOVES he’ll make sacrifices for
That means ditching the guys to spend time with his missus and doing things (i.e. shopping) that he wouldn’t normally want to do. Because, well, he loves her.
3. The woman he SLEEPS with can do whatever she wants
In a no strings attached kinda thing he doesn’t need to worry about how she’s doing or what’s she’s up to. They may not talk for one week, one month – it’s whatever-whenever.
4. The woman he LOVES gets him worried
The more he falls for her the more he wants to protect her. If she doesn’t call or isn’t responding to his texts, no doubt, he’ll show concern. And jealousy? Don’t even
5. The woman he SLEEPS with is ‘just for fun’
Never say no is the motto. If ANY man’s offered, he’ll take it. Trust us, we know what we’re talking about (it’s in Murphy’s Law On s*x).
6. The woman he LOVES is special
He always has a big cheesy grin on his face when he introduces her to new people and he’ll make sure they all know her name. Why? Because he wants them to appreciate her as much as he does.
READ ALSO
https://joseph9jablog..com.ng/2017/03/the-main-reason-why-you-should-always.html
7. The woman he SLEEPS with is convenient
She probably has very little expectations (that’s casual s*x for you) so for him it’s GREAT. Especially if he’s busy with studying or his career. No emotions, no money and ZERO investment. Not a bad deal, eh?
8. The woman he LOVES gets surprises
When a guy’s in love he likes to shower her with gifts. And not because women love material things (OK, just a little bit), but because he wants to see her happy! Nothing is more gratifying than making your girl smile.
9. The woman he SLEEPS with is shown her way out
After s*x, there’s no other reason for her to stick around. Cuddling? After-s*x chat? No way.
10. The woman he LOVES leaves her things at his
His home is her home away from home. Her tooth brush and spare clothes always have a place at his. And if she’s really lucky he’ll even do her laundry. Yeahuh.
11. The woman he SLEEPS with isn’t treated
For guys, casual s*x is casual s*x. But there are always women who think they can eventually change their minds. This is where they go wrong. Once a woman gives it all away he has no other reason to pursue her.
READ ALSO https://joseph9jablog..com.ng/2017/03/three-safety-things-you-should-not-do.html
12. The woman he LOVES teaches him how she wants to be treated
Men screw up. Yes. Not by cheating standards (there is zero tolerance for that) of course, mainly just in small ways that piss us off and make us feel less worthy than we really are.

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S*x is an amazingly thrilling experience that most people look forward to having with their partners, however certain things can limit the full enjoyment the experience affords.
READ ALSO
https://joseph9jablog..com.ng/2017/03/three-safety-things-you-should-not-do.html
When it comes to s*x, it is every married couple’s desire to enjoy it and still be able to relish the thought of it thereafter. Apart from the numerous health benefits of s*x to the human system, the pleasure that comes with it is electrifying and almost unrivalled.
Notably, there are many routes to $exual satisfaction, but the mostly adopted means of reaching climax is through intercourse, which is about the most effective for men, unlike women who are more likely to reach orgasm faster through nipple or clit0ral stimulation.
S*x is to be enjoyed, but understandably, there are medical conditions that prevent or forbid people from having $ex, usually for some time.
Meanwhile, beyond those conditions, there are some other things people do that may tamper with how much they enjoy $ex and even impact on their overall health afterwards.
Some of these issues directly affect $exual performance, while some are safety tips. Hence, it may be helpful to discuss what people should take cognisance of when they are about to have a romp in the sack so as to enjoy it and guide against infection.
These include:
1. Shaving or waxing before s*x:
Due to the belief that the pubic hair could breed unpleasant smell and because some people do find it D!sgust!ng, people tend to shave or use wax to remove the hair in that region. But inasmuch as being ‘clean’ in that region is seen as a good hygienic practice, experts have advised that it is advisable not to shave before $ex, simply because shaving or waxing tends to open up the small pores in the skin and while the $exual activity is ongoing, body contact could lead to infection, or rashes, which could multiply in little time because the place is usually warm and so germs and bacteria could multiply there quickly. Some people shave shortly before $ex because of the feeling that their partner might find the pubic hair unattractive.
A medical doctor, Emily Gibson, said removal of pubic hair would always inflame the hair follicles in that region and leave some open wounds that could cause irritation of the shaved or waxed area, leading to the spread of $exually transmitted infections.
She added, “When that irritation is combined with the warm moist environment of the genitals, it becomes a happy culture media for some of the nastiest of bacterial pathogens, namely group A streptococcus, staphylococcus aureus and its recently mutated cousin, methicillin resistant staph aureus.
READ ALSO
https://joseph9jablog..com.ng/2017/03/sign-to-know-if-your-boyfriend-wishes.html
“There is an increase in staph boils and abscesses, necessitating incisions to drain the infection, resulting in scarring that can be significant. It is not at all unusual to find pustules and other hair follicle inflammation papules on shaved genitals.
“Additionally, I’ve seen cellulitis, soft tissue bacterial infection without abscess of the scrotum, labia and Pen!s from spread of bacteria from shaving or from $exual contact with strep or staph bacteria from a partner’s skin. And some clinicians are finding that freshly shaved pubic areas and genitals are also more vulnerable to herpes infections due to the microscopic wounds being exposed to virus carried by mouth or genitals. It follows that there may be vulnerability to spread of other STIs as well.”
Also, a consultant endocrinologist, Dr. Michael Olamoyegun, explained that shaving before $ex does not influence performance, but that “in the course of shaving, the person can sustain injuries, and during s*x, there would be body contact and the ease of transmitting infection into the injured area would be high because the pubic hair serves as a form of protection.”
So, to avoid infections from creeping into your system courtesy of s*x, never shave before s*x.
2. Smoking:
Apart from the negative effect smoking has on the heart, it turns out that it also has an effect on people’s $exual performance. It could reduce libido as it lowers testosterone (s*x hormone) levels, hence, people are advised not to smoke before s*x. The same applies to taking alcohols.
According to a $exual health expert, Dr. Vijaysarathi Ramanathan, smoking could affect a man’s erection.
He said, “Smoking affects almost every system/organ of the body including $exual functioning. People need to understand that erection in men has a lot to do with a healthy heart, blood vessels and good blood flow. So anything that affects blood flow will definitely affect the erection.”
In his explanation on Health Site, he said further that Nicotine, a toxic oily liquid that is the chief active constituent of tobacco, could clog the arteries and restrict blood flow to the genitals, which would affect performance.
For couples aiming at pregnancy, Ramanathan said smoking could also lower a man’s sperm count; cause genetic damage to the sperm and reduce the ability of the sperm to swim to where it will fertilise the egg. And in women, it could also cause $ex-related problems, like reduced $ex drive, among others.
On smoking, Olamoyegun said the constituents of cigarettes can narrow the arteries and veins that supply blood to the p*nis. “Smoking causes vasoconstriction; narrowing the blood vessel, so, the amount of blood that goes into the Pen!s will reduce. And since the erection of the Pen!s has to do with blood flow, it may affect the man’s erection.
3. Eating too much or taking energy drinks:
No doubt, s*x is an activity that is very involving and tiring, and so it is not uncommon for some people to eat before $ex as if they are going to fight, especially men, all in the name of preparing for the act. But findings have shown that it is better to eat snacks, nuts or light food before doing ‘it’ to avoid feeling drowsy. In the same vein, experts have said that people should do away with heavy, gassy and high-fibre food to avoid frustrating the partner with a sluggish and poor performance eventually.
So, it is not the time to eat five wraps of heavy food like someone going to the war front. Also, it has been found that it is not advisable to take energy drinks. People do this to have some energy to ‘deliver’ but experts have said the impact may not last long and that it tends to leave the person tired and weak after a (short) while.
READ ALSO
https://joseph9jablog..com.ng/2017/03/benefit-we-get-from-having-sex.html
According to Olamoyegun, s*x, just like other forms of exercise, should not be preceded by eating heavy food. He said, “Normally, if you want to do any exercise, including s*x, you are not supposed to take any heavy meal, because doing so could lead to aspiration in the course of the activity; the food can come from the stomach to the air pipe, and that is not good. So, it is better to eat a light food.”
4. Masturbating:
This is one tactic some people use, usually done hours before the intercourse, so as to prolong $ex and it is mostly done by men who have premature ejaculation or women who crave prolonged s*x. They believe that having ejaculated (men) or reached orgasm (women) moments before the $ex would delay their next orgasm, but findings have shown that such can make erection almost impossible and the fact that it can kill $ex drive when it comes to having real intercourse with someone of the opposite s*x.
Ultimately, experts have found that masturbation can be addictive, and after engaging in it for a long time, such persons tend to lose interest in real s*x. So, to have a sustained healthy s*xuality, masturbating should not be an option.
READ ALSO
https://joseph9jablog..com.ng/2017/03/reasonwhy-women-are-comfortable-without.html
Meanwhile, medical experts have advised that if a woman pees after s*x, it could reduce the likelihood of her getting urinary tract infection. They said the urine would have flushed out any bacteria present. It is not a must, but it is helpful.
Olamoyegun had this to say on it, “The vagina and the urethra are close, so after s*x, if you pee, you flush out the bacteria before it settles into the tract. You don’t necessarily have to do that but it could be helpful too.”


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For your own safety, make sure you avoid doing these three things anytime you finish having s*x.
*Photo used for illustrative purpose*
A Gynecologist Leslie E. F. Page, M.D. Women’s Health has revealed in details the three things you should never do after s*x for your own safefysafefy
READ ALSO
https://joseph9jablog..com.ng/2017/03/things-that-drain-your-brain-that-you.html
“When the vaginal tissues have been lubricated, swollen, and rubbed against during intercourse, it changes how that tissue reacts to the environment. Primarily, you run a much greater risk of infection.” Leslie said.
According to The Sun, here are the three things to Leslie enumerated you must avoid after having s*x.
1. Soaping up
While you may feel the need to ‘freshen’ up after doing the deed – make sure you don’t use soap.
Lathering up your nether-regions will soapy products can cause irritation and you may even experience an allergic reaction.
“The vagina is a self-cleaning organ, and needs to be treated very, very gently—if you wouldn’t put it in your mouth, you shouldn’t put it in or around your v*gina,” adds Leslie.
If you do feel the need to wash – just use water.
2. Getting in a hot tub
Enjoying a post-coital soak in a hot tub may sound like an enjoyable, romantic experience – but it’s bad news for your lady bits.
“When your vulva swells in response to $exual stimulation, it reveals the opening of the v*gina, which means you have a greater chance of infection,” said Leslie.
READ ALSO
https://joseph9jablog..com.ng/2017/03/the-main-reason-why-you-should-always.html
“If you’re in a hot tub with your partner, that means you’re exposed to the bacteria on his skin and anus.”
3. Not weeing
Going for a wee after s*x isn’t just an old wives’ tale – it really is important.
Popping to the loo helps to clear away any bacteria that may have been pushed into your vagina mid-bonk.
Bacteria is bad news as it can lead to bladder infections – so try and nip to the loo within an hour after having s*x.

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Most women wear B.ras and most men think these to be S3@.x:’y. However, many ladies wonder if the B.ras can cause cancer and how they should be worn properly. Let’s review the facts!
Can B.ras cause cancer?
In 2015 a study was carried out on this subject. The scientists discovered that women, who regularly wear B.ras have higher risks of developing bre@.$t cancer than those, who never wear B.ras. Doctors related the results to how the B.ras are worn.
If it is too tight, it compresses the cells in your bre@.$ts. Thus, the blood inflow decreases and toxins remain in the B@.0bs being unable to flush out. We do not know for sure if this is the case, but wearing too tight B.ras is not a good idea. When you return home take it off and let the B@.0bs relax!
https://joseph9jablog..com.ng/2017/03/benefit-we-get-from-having-sex.html
Major and fun B.ra facts:
– The first B.ra was introduced in 1907. They showcased it in the Vogue Magazine. It was called the B.rassiere.
– Young girls also wear B.ras, but after they start having period the bre@.$ts keep on growing for up to 4 years!
– Your B.ra should be washed at least once a week.
– You can wear this underwear item for up to 9 months.
– Over 80 percent of all women do not know how to pick the right B.ra size and thus wear the wrong ones.
– The cup sizing we use now was introduced back in 1935.
– Most women in Africa wear either B or A size of B.ras.
– The largest bre@.$ts are possessed by ladies from Russia!
– The smallest B.ra size is called AAA.
As you see, these facts provided on B.ra day are fun and some of them are useful. Stay healthy and take good care of yourself and your B.ra!


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Most women wear B.ras and most men think these to be S3@.x:’y. However, many ladies wonder if the B.ras can cause cancer and how they should be worn properly. Let’s review the facts!
Can B.ras cause cancer?
In 2015 a study was carried out on this subject. The scientists discovered that women, who regularly wear B.ras have higher risks of developing bre@.$t cancer than those, who never wear B.ras. Doctors related the results to how the B.ras are worn.
If it is too tight, it compresses the cells in your bre@.$ts. Thus, the blood inflow decreases and toxins remain in the B@.0bs being unable to flush out. We do not know for sure if this is the case, but wearing too tight B.ras is not a good idea. When you return home take it off and let the B@.0bs relax!
Major and fun B.ra facts:
– The first B.ra was introduced in 1907. They showcased it in the Vogue Magazine. It was called the B.rassiere.
– Young girls also wear B.ras, but after they start having period the bre@.$ts keep on growing for up to 4 years!
– Your B.ra should be washed at least once a week.
– You can wear this underwear item for up to 9 months.
– Over 80 percent of all women do not know how to pick the right B.ra size and thus wear the wrong ones.
– The cup sizing we use now was introduced back in 1935.
– Most women in Africa wear either B or A size of B.ras.
– The largest bre@.$ts are possessed by ladies from Russia!
– The smallest B.ra size is called AAA.
As you see, these facts provided on B.ra day are fun and some of them are useful. Stay healthy and take good care of yourself and your B.ra!

{/url}https://joseph9jablog..com{/url}

Don’t be impatient when choosing a helpmate. God has the right one for you.
My wife and I raised four daughters—without shotguns in the house!—and three of them have already married. We love our sons-in-law, and it’s obvious God handpicked each of them to match our daughters’ temperaments and personality.
I have always believed God is in the matchmaking business. If He can do it for my daughters, He can do it for you.
Today I have several single female friends who would very much like to find the right guy. Some tell me the pickings are slim at their church, so they have ventured into the world of online dating. Others have thrown up their hands in despair, wondering if there are any decent Christian guys left anywhere. They’ve begun to wonder if they should lower their standards in order to find a mate.
My advice stands: Don’t settle for less than God’s best. Too many Christian women today have ended up with an Ishmael because impatience pushed them into an unhappy marriage. Please take my fatherly advice: You are much better off single than with the wrong guy!
Speaking of “wrong guys,” here are the top 10 men you should avoid when looking for a husband:
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1. The unbeliever. Please write 2 Corinthians 6:14 on a Post-it note and tack it on your computer at work. It says, “Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?” (NASB). This is not an outdated religious rule. It is the Word of God for you today.
Don’t allow a man’s charm, looks or financial success (or his willingness to go to church with you) push you to compromise what you know is right. “Missionary dating” is never a wise strategy. If the guy is not a born-again Christian, scratch him off your list. He’s not right for you. I’ve yet to meet a Christian woman who didn’t regret marrying an unbeliever.
2. The liar. If you discover that the man you are dating has lied to you about his past or that he’s always covering his tracks to hide his secrets from you, run for the nearest exit. Marriage must be built on a foundation of trust. If he can’t be truthful, break up now before he bamboozles you with an even bigger deception.
3. The playboy. I wish I could say that if you meet a nice guy at church, you can assume he’s living in sexual purity. But that’s not the case today. I’ve heard horror stories about single guys who serve on the worship team on Sunday but act like Casanovas during the week. If you marry a guy who was sleeping around before your wedding, you can be sure he will be sleeping around after your wedding.
4. The deadbeat. There are many solid Christian men who experienced marital failure years ago. Since their divorce, they have experienced the Holy Spirit’s restoration, and now they want to remarry. Second marriages can be very happy. But if you find out that the man you are dating hasn’t been caring for his children from a previous marriage, you have just exposed a fatal flaw. Any man who will not pay for his past mistakes or support children from a previous marriage is not going to treat you responsibl
5. The addict. Churchgoing men who have addictions to alcohol or drugs have learned to hide their problems—but you don’t want to wait until your honeymoon to find out that he’s a boozer. Never marry a man who refuses to get help for his addiction. Insist that he get professional help and walk away. And don’t get into a codependent relationship in which he claims he needs you to stay sober. You can’t fix him.
6. The bum. I have a female friend who realized after she married her boyfriend that he had no plans to find steady work. He had devised a great strategy: He stayed home all day and played video games while his professional wife worked and paid all the bills. The apostle Paul told the Thessalonians, “If anyone is not willing to work, then he is not to eat, either” (2 Thess. 3:10). The same rule applies here: If a man is not willing to work, he doesn’t deserve to marry you.
7. The narcissist. I sincerely hope you can find a guy who is handsome. But be careful: If your boyfriend spends six hours a day at the gym and regularly posts closeups of his biceps on Facebook, you have a problem. Do not fall for a self-absorbed guy. He might be cute, but a man who is infatuated with his appearance and his own needs will never be able to love you sacrificially, like Christ loves the church (Eph. 5:25). The man who is always looking at himself in the mirror will never notice you.
8. The abuser. Men with abusive tendencies can’t control their anger when it boils over. If the guy you are dating has a tendency to fly off the handle, either at you or others, don’t be tempted to rationalize his behavior. He has a problem, and if you marry him you will have to navigate his minefield every day to avoid triggering another outburst. Angry men hurt women—verbally and sometimes physically. Find a man who is gentle.
9. The man-child. Call me old-fashioned, but I’m suspicious of a guy who still lives with his parents at age 35. If his mother is still doing his cooking, cleaning and ironing at that age, you can be sure he’s stuck in an emotional time warp. You are asking for trouble if you think you can be a wife to a guy who hasn’t grown up. Back away and, as a friend, encourage him to find a mentor who can help him mature.
10. The control freak. Some Christian guys today believe marriage is about male superiority. They may quote Scripture and sound super-spiritual, but behind the façade of husbandly authority is deep insecurity and pride that can morph into spiritual abuse. First Peter 3:7 commands husbands to treat their wives as equals. If the man you are dating talks down to you, makes demeaning comments about women or seems to squelch your spiritual gifts, back away now. He is on a power trip. Women who marry religious control freaks often end up in a nightmare of depression.

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Some girls can be so cunning, if she is bent on hiding her Boyfriend status, trust me smiley you won’t know…But in all you might want to know the attitudes displayed by Ladies without Boyfriends…
So you just take a deep breath and read along with me Ways to know Ladies who have no Boyfriends..
1)They are always on social media 24/7
They are very easy to spot on social media as they can be found in almost every section. They are usually online at odds hours giving relationship advice to other ladies even though they’re the ones that need advice…
2)They talk so much about Jesus Christ
They become S. U and are always spotted wearing skirts,blouse and shoulder pads that are 100km long grin grin,since every effort to get Boyfriends have failed them,they become born again Christians and always dress like my grandma.you’ll see about 50 pictures of Jesus Christ in their rooms.
3)They are open to flirting cool
Girls who are taken and happy at that,are usually less flirtatious than ladies who are available.
4)They are socially isolated
She could just go out with her friends and their boyfriends to a club or a bar,when the DJ hits it hard and her friends not excluding their boyfriends are having the fun of their life,she always sit and watch probably be the one that will snap all the pics of that day…
5)They put on their status “I don’t reply mails”
Some of them form classy and expensive babes by putting up all sorts of status on social media just to give guys the impression that they’re already taken,Believe them at your own peril.because most of them don’t have…
6)They show their Backsides/Boobs as DPs
Those who don’t have any other thing to attract or offer aside their huge Boobs/bosoms will upload sexually appealing pictures just to trap men down…..They are very easy to spot on instagram,facebook etc.
7)They always have the same status in their respective social networks E.G Being single rocks,in love with Jesus,Guys are only after sex,i’m every man’s dream,self love tongue
cool They are quick to say “men are dogs”
Most of them are not happy with their status even though they will never admit it.some of them have been victims of “chop and clean mouth by guys” who have no mercy,By the reason of this,they place stereotypical beliefs on men that they’re all dogs…
9)They parade unnecessarily when they see Guys around
Some of them start parading and will start adjusting the straps of their bras when they see guys around.This is usually done by girls who have little or no shame..
10)They are quick to say “I don’t ask guys for money”
They are quick to utter this statement so that guys will quickly develop interest in them and when you eventually do,they will tax you(but some are real though).
But
Some just don’t want one. There is every 60% chance that she doesn’t just want One, not that guys have not been coming “They have”but they just might be tired of the drama that comes with relationships….

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A busty lady is like every other lady, but guys never see her as every other lady.
A busty lady gets guy’s attention too easily, and she can’t present herself as a platonic friend.
She is very limited to the kind of clothes she can wear if she doesn’t want to be called a whoooree
She can’t go into lots of sports like running, jumping, swimming if she doesn’t want all eyes on her.
She can’t receive gifts from guys without the guy wanting goodies from her.
She can’t easily establish platonic relationship with guys, they will want to have sex with her or smooch her bust.
She can’t hug to avoid making the guy Hot
She can’t sleep face down to avoid pains and falling of boobs
She hates her body and is usually shy and ashamed of her big bust
She doesn’t like the fact that they are too big while other girls pray they have more.
Why do guys always feel the urge to squeeze it, what exactly is responsible for this,
what is that force that’s pushing a guy to want to touch it,
even when we know its just fat and flesh and muscle that’s in it?


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Why do guy’s eye always wander around that area?
I am saying these from the perception of a guy.
If u are a busty lady, tell us what you go through.

Whether you and your partner are married or not, these top new year’s sex resolutions below are guaranteed to give you a better sex life and improve your relationship in a very amazing way.
Some couples will say their sex resolution for the new year is to have more of it but guess what, sex is not about how many times you have it with your partner. Consider these top new year’s sex resolution tips you should try to implement and work on so as to improve your sex life and give you a better relationship.
The number one resolution you should have for the new year is to love your body. Although there are times we worry too much about how we look, truth is the better you feel about yourself, the more confident you are going to feel about yourself and that is the key to having a better sex life. It’s a lot harder to have great sex if all you’re thinking about is your waist, hips or thigh size. This year, resolve to love your body and be proud of that person you see in the mirror when you make up or when you brush your hair.
It will also help if you can act as though you just started dating each other by doing the things you haven’t done together in a long while. In addition to that, exercise everyday and eat a healthy, balanced diet. Take better care of yourself, feel good, look good and have more energy in the bedroom but always remember the first resolution written above, resolve to love your body and be proud of that person you see in the mirror when you make up or when you brush your hair as confidence in yourself is the key to a great sex life.
I also suggest and recommend you both try new positions, have sex in every room if you haven’t done that yet, get vocal in the bedroom, talk dirty, be bold enough to ask, tell your partner what you like, ask for what you want, get loud and believe me your experience will improve greatly if you can get more comfortable telling your partner what you want in bed. There’s no need to be demanding or make your partner feel like they doing something wrong, but your partner will sure appreciate knowing what does turn you onand what he can do more of. Make this year the year of getting exactly what you want between the sheets! and make it a part of your resolution to make every sex you have with your partner be the best.

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1.Women are delicate beings both on the out side and inside, so, there’s a high rate of probability that the virtues i long for sexually in you would ‘ve been unreplenishly diminished
undecided…
2.For you to have conciously and voluptuously opened your legs for me it means you can do it for the man next door, sex is addictiveundecided…
3.You are not God fearing, don’t even accuse me of being guilty too cos the woman that was caught in the very act for committing adultery was almost stoned to dead if not for the intervention of jesus…so, the question now is, what of the man that committed the sin with the woman??, guess to a large extend his actions were justifiable that’s why they let him go…women are not supposed to cheat for whatsoever reasonundecided
4.They are NO differend from the day to day prostitute we see in mr sweet, the difference between your girl friend and them is just location.
5.There’s ever the tendency that the children she ‘ll give birth to will be like her cos a goat cannot give birth to a pig.
6.They have high tendency of promiscuityundecided
7.Most of them are ravagely saucy and very insultive…they’d hardly respect you as their husband.
8.They hate to hear hell fire preaching and as such they can never repent cos of guilty concience, for Godsake the girl you intend to marry should be preaching heaven to you.
9.They sleep out side at every opportunity that presents itself.
10.They tell lies alot, ranging from how they were raped or molested by their school teacher.
In general, any lady who’s been having sex before marriage has the potentials to have aborted pregnancy before thereby opening the room for a possible barreness in the future, “but not in all cases sha o”.
Important Note:…i’m not saying she must be a virgin, take caution of the heading….all i’m saying is, a girl you ‘ve had or have been having sex with has the tendency to portray all the aforelisted traits above if you marry her….better you marry a girl you ‘ve not had canal knowledge of before weather she’s a virgin or not, believe me there ‘ll be trust and respect in the union….and ofcourse before marry you must ‘ve know your medical status so don’t tell you wanna test to know if it’s a fertile ground before plant your seed.
And to the girls, if you ask me i ‘ll say the thread is not to demean you if you are already into sex with your bf…the message is, marry a man who has not seen your panties before.


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7 Healthy Reasons to Have Sex (Right Now!)
As if the big “O” wasn’t reason enough to get busy, sex has many other benefits that just might surprise you.
By Madeline R. Vann, MPH
Medically Reviewed by Pat F. Bass, III, MD, MPH
Want to clear your complexion, boost your mood, and cut your risk of cancer, heart disease, and other health hazards? No, the answer isn’t in a magic pill — it’s between your sheets. That’s right — a little lovin’ can boost your overall health in many surprising ways.
“There have been lots of studies describing the health benefits of sex,” says licensed sex therapist and sexuality educator Sandra L. Caron, PhD, professor of family relations and human sexuality at the University of Maine’s College of Education and Human Development in Orono. “Most of them relate to achieving orgasm. Nobody says you have to be with someone to do that.”
That’s an intriguing sex tip for people who do not have a committed partner — self-pleasuring can offer sex benefits, especially those specifically related to having a good orgasm.
So, whether you’re coupled up or flying solo, check out this list of healthy side effects of sex:
Improved heart health. Just like any physical activity, healthy sex is good for your heart. Several studies have found that your risk of dying from a heart disease event such as stroke or heart attack goes down as the frequency of your good orgasms increase over time. And for those that worry that the exertion involved in sex is a threat to the heart, analyses show that the most sexually intense moments (assuming you aren’t unusually vigorous in your activities) place about the same demand on your heart as walking 4 to 6 miles an hour. Of course, it helps your heart and your sex life overall to stay in shape.
Sweet pain relief. Just looking at your partner (or even a photo of your partner) can help ease pain. When anesthesiologists showed people taking part in a study photos of their romantic partners or photos of attractive strangers, or asked them to engage in a word game, they found that looking at romantic partners significantly dulled the experience of pain. So even though you might think pain is a barrier to sex, consider this one sex benefit worth the time and effort: take a moment to really look at your lover. Other studies have found that women may get some relief from menstrual cramps through a good orgasm.
Less stress. Healthy sex offers the same soothing effects of sugary comfort foods when it comes to reducing stress. Researchers theorize that this stress reduction occurs because the pleasure pathways of the brain are triggered by sex (just as they are, for some, by sweet treats) — and it looks like this effect is a little bit more lasting than we often think.
Cancer prevention. Research has suggested that men may reduce their risk of prostate cancer proportionately to their good orgasms and the stimulation of their testicles. While more research is needed, this would certainly be a welcome sex benefit.
Better sleep. Although experts are not sure exactly why sex works to improve sleep, there appears to be some evidence that it does. So don’t be too surprised if you and your partner doze off shortly after a satisfying sexcapade — and wake up feeling refreshed!
Better mood. It’s no wonder you’ve got a more positive outlook post-sex: There are biochemical rationales for experiencing improved mood as a sex benefit, from the neurotransmitters that may be released during healthy sex to the mood enhancers contained in semen itself. “And”, adds Caron, “there’s a lot to be said simply for the mood-boosting effect of having a nice connection with somebody that you trust and care about.”
glowing skin. That fabled ‘morning-after’ glow? It’s not just your imagination: You really do look better after having sex. “Sex even helps you look younger,” says Caron. That glow can be attributed to a combination of stress relief, better mood, and the flush of blood under your skin that’s a natural part of the arousal process.


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When a relationship comes to an end, the process of healing and moving on hopefully begins. The person you’re trying to let go of may be a recent part of your love life or an old flame. Now comes the task of wiping the slate clean, so you’ll be ready when a new partner enters your life.

Here are 15 practices that will help you leave the past behind:
1. Keep a realistic perspective of the person. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and every relationship has good and bad times. Acknowledging both assures you that your old love was not, in fact, ideal.
2. Clean your emotional house. Honestly inventory the strong feelings left over–pain, anger, regret–and then take time to heal. Proven techniques for doing that abound. Find the ones that make sense to you and get to work.
3. Clean your physical house. You might still have reminders of the relationship you’re trying to leave behind — photographs, mementos, and letters. Boxing them up can have a cleansing effect, a signal to your subconscious mind that a new beginning is underway.
4. Burn the bridge completely. If you know the relationship with your ex is truly over, then there’s nothing to gain from trying to be “just friends” or other variations. The best break is a clean break.
5. Watch your language. Meaning, watch how much you talk about your old relationship. The more your ex’s name comes out of your mouth, the more that person stays in your thoughts.
6. Close anything left open-ended. Whether they left your life weeks ago or years ago, you might have things you still need to say, amends you need to make, items you should have returned, or feelings you want to convey. Bring closure by taking care of what you need to.
7. Turn off the instant replay. Your mind can get stuck reliving the past, either adding fuel to your smoldering anger or romanticizing your memories. Either way, remember that you have sole possession of the remote control and can choose to direct your thoughts elsewhere.
8. Get involved in new activities. The process of leaving an old love behind is helped greatly by finding new pursuits that bring you joy, especially those that connect you with interesting people.
9. Resist the urge to follow the person via social media. Yes, of course you want to know what they’re up to! But if you really want to get that person out of your head, don’t fill it with current images and updates.
10. Tighten your ship. Let the breakup be an opportunity for honest self-assessment — so you’re that much better prepared for your next relationship. Are you a little too controlling? Argumentative? Clingy? Now’s the time to deal with it.
11. Forgive your ex. Holding a grudge ties you to the past, keeping you psychologically connected to the person and experiences you are trying to put behind you. Let it go — and set yourself free.
12. Forgive yourself. It’s just as likely you’ve said and done things yourself along the way you are not proud of — and equally important to put them behind you.
13. Practice gratitude. One time-honored way to move on from the past is to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. Like magic, the words “I am thankful for …” will empower you to step forward.
14. Activate your support group. Enlist trusted friends and family to your cause, people who will inspire excitement about the future.
15. Expect new love to appear at any moment. Looking ahead with anticipation will help you stop looking back with longing. Romance can appear anywhere, anytime. Your job is to be fresh and ready when it does — not stuck in the past.


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It is not necessary for you to read out every single thought that comes to your mind; not because you don’t believe in him but because you wouldn’t want to hurt him.
Sample this: your husband is talking to his mom on the phone, you accidently overhear a bit, then get curious and secretly listen to what they are talking about. You heard it, you knew about the topic, and then it’s over. It does not harm them, it does not harm you, then what’s the point in confessing to him? And who knows, your husband must be harboring some secrets too!
Here are 11 N@ughty and not-so-N@ughty thoughts that you can keep to yourself.
1. An old flame turns up:
Perhaps in your thoughts, as you recall him. Or you indeed bumped into him somewhere. It was sort of rekindling, but you could do nothing about it (or did you?). Once home, you don’t discuss him but have fleeting thoughts about the meet. You don’t have to tell your husband about him. Why would you?
2. Someone else is far more attractive than your husband:
It could be someone you met at a party or at work. There are times when you come across someone so charming that your husband totally fades out in comparison to him. You could be all flirty with this bloke, bringing you back to your school days. But nope, you don’t want your husband to get a whiff of it.
3. You wished your husband had better habits:
Fine, your husband has had a different upbringing. You are culturally different. But what does it really take to turn the fans off when not in use or stash away those empty bags of chips? Despite telling a hundred times, he would not budge. The result – you begin to hate him for that. But you don’t want to tell him so.
4. You wished you could do away with your in-laws:
True, a wife can never love her in-laws like she can love her parents and siblings. Plus, there will be little appreciation from your in-laws for you. It all may not go down well with you, so much so that you will dislike your husband as much as you could dislike his parents. Despite the freedom of speech that you enjoy at home, your hatred for in-laws is one thing you will never want to tell your husband.
5. You read his text messages:
What does he read all the time on the phone and why is it out of bounds to you? The curiosity in you makes you read his messages and check his contact details provided you know the password. But don’t tell this to him as he would change his password immediately!
6. You wished he were wealthy:
No amount of money will keep you contented. You compare your husband with your friend’s husband and wonder whether he is on the road to success.
7. You wished your husband was more fashionable:
Yes, sometimes it’s nice to show off to your friends that you have the best trendsetter husband. But sadly every time someone visits you or you get invited, he is at his worse. You want to kick him in the shins, but you just put a lid on your eagerness to do that to him.
8. You wished he had better presence of mind:
You keep wondering as to how one could be so absent-minded. Does he have bouts of dementia or what? Even in a case otherwise, his expressions are too plain for you to get a hint of anything. You don’t mind declaring that he bears the dumbest look.
9. You wished he had similar opinions (read: nods to your opinions):
You are rock-n-roll, while he is high on traditional music. You like new movies while he sticks to watching what he watched while growing up. You prefer him in suits, while he would want to wear pajamas. Tasteless and ancient – that is what you think about him. (Just be grateful he is not a caveman). You will go as far as having a pillow-fight but deep inside you wish you were hit with a blong – so you can put an end to these differences.
10. He deals with kids amazingly well:
Well, this is one thing you wouldn’t want to admire him for! After all, he is your fiercest competitor. The kids are scared of him but they adore him. They love the way he cooks, they want him to do all the craft work for their school and play, and they miss him awfully if he is out of town. And you know they are right. Envious? Then don’t tell him he is good, simple.
11. Your mother is more important than his:
This is another bitter truth that will crumble your husband. Your mother is more important for you because she is there for you when you face any problem. You run up to her to seek help with your kids, to know the recipes, to find a solution. And she is glad to do anything for you unlike your mother-in-law. But you wouldn’t want to share this with your husband.
Women are known for their inability to keep secrets but what men do not know is that we are very much capable of keeping secrets, selectively.


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It is not necessary for you to read out every single thought that comes to your mind; not because you don’t believe in him but because you wouldn’t want to hurt him.
Sample this: your husband is talking to his mom on the phone, you accidently overhear a bit, then get curious and secretly listen to what they are talking about. You heard it, you knew about the topic, and then it’s over. It does not harm them, it does not harm you, then what’s the point in confessing to him? And who knows, your husband must be harboring some secrets too!
Here are 11 N@ughty and not-so-N@ughty thoughts that you can keep to yourself.
1. An old flame turns up:
Perhaps in your thoughts, as you recall him. Or you indeed bumped into him somewhere. It was sort of rekindling, but you could do nothing about it (or did you?). Once home, you don’t discuss him but have fleeting thoughts about the meet. You don’t have to tell your husband about him. Why would you?
2. Someone else is far more attractive than your husband:
It could be someone you met at a party or at work. There are times when you come across someone so charming that your husband totally fades out in comparison to him. You could be all flirty with this bloke, bringing you back to your school days. But nope, you don’t want your husband to get a whiff of it.
3. You wished your husband had better habits:
Fine, your husband has had a different upbringing. You are culturally different. But what does it really take to turn the fans off when not in use or stash away those empty bags of chips? Despite telling a hundred times, he would not budge. The result – you begin to hate him for that. But you don’t want to tell him so.
4. You wished you could do away with your in-laws:
True, a wife can never love her in-laws like she can love her parents and siblings. Plus, there will be little appreciation from your in-laws for you. It all may not go down well with you, so much so that you will dislike your husband as much as you could dislike his parents. Despite the freedom of speech that you enjoy at home, your hatred for in-laws is one thing you will never want to tell your husband.
5. You read his text messages:
What does he read all the time on the phone and why is it out of bounds to you? The curiosity in you makes you read his messages and check his contact details provided you know the password. But don’t tell this to him as he would change his password immediately!
6. You wished he were wealthy:
No amount of money will keep you contented. You compare your husband with your friend’s husband and wonder whether he is on the road to success.
7. You wished your husband was more fashionable:
Yes, sometimes it’s nice to show off to your friends that you have the best trendsetter husband. But sadly every time someone visits you or you get invited, he is at his worse. You want to kick him in the shins, but you just put a lid on your eagerness to do that to him.
8. You wished he had better presence of mind:
You keep wondering as to how one could be so absent-minded. Does he have bouts of dementia or what? Even in a case otherwise, his expressions are too plain for you to get a hint of anything. You don’t mind declaring that he bears the dumbest look.
9. You wished he had similar opinions (read: nods to your opinions):
You are rock-n-roll, while he is high on traditional music. You like new movies while he sticks to watching what he watched while growing up. You prefer him in suits, while he would want to wear pajamas. Tasteless and ancient – that is what you think about him. (Just be grateful he is not a caveman). You will go as far as having a pillow-fight but deep inside you wish you were hit with a blong – so you can put an end to these differences.
10. He deals with kids amazingly well:
Well, this is one thing you wouldn’t want to admire him for! After all, he is your fiercest competitor. The kids are scared of him but they adore him. They love the way he cooks, they want him to do all the craft work for their school and play, and they miss him awfully if he is out of town. And you know they are right. Envious? Then don’t tell him he is good, simple.
11. Your mother is more important than his:
This is another bitter truth that will crumble your husband. Your mother is more important for you because she is there for you when you face any problem. You run up to her to seek help with your kids, to know the recipes, to find a solution. And she is glad to do anything for you unlike your mother-in-law. But you wouldn’t want to share this with your husband.
Women are known for their inability to keep secrets but what men do not know is that we are very much capable of keeping secrets, selectively.


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It is not necessary for you to read out every single thought that comes to your mind; not because you don’t believe in him but because you wouldn’t want to hurt him.
Sample this: your husband is talking to his mom on the phone, you accidently overhear a bit, then get curious and secretly listen to what they are talking about. You heard it, you knew about the topic, and then it’s over. It does not harm them, it does not harm you, then what’s the point in confessing to him? And who knows, your husband must be harboring some secrets too!
Here are 11 N@ughty and not-so-N@ughty thoughts that you can keep to yourself.
1. An old flame turns up:
Perhaps in your thoughts, as you recall him. Or you indeed bumped into him somewhere. It was sort of rekindling, but you could do nothing about it (or did you?). Once home, you don’t discuss him but have fleeting thoughts about the meet. You don’t have to tell your husband about him. Why would you?
2. Someone else is far more attractive than your husband:
It could be someone you met at a party or at work. There are times when you come across someone so charming that your husband totally fades out in comparison to him. You could be all flirty with this bloke, bringing you back to your school days. But nope, you don’t want your husband to get a whiff of it.
3. You wished your husband had better habits:
Fine, your husband has had a different upbringing. You are culturally different. But what does it really take to turn the fans off when not in use or stash away those empty bags of chips? Despite telling a hundred times, he would not budge. The result – you begin to hate him for that. But you don’t want to tell him so.
4. You wished you could do away with your in-laws:
True, a wife can never love her in-laws like she can love her parents and siblings. Plus, there will be little appreciation from your in-laws for you. It all may not go down well with you, so much so that you will dislike your husband as much as you could dislike his parents. Despite the freedom of speech that you enjoy at home, your hatred for in-laws is one thing you will never want to tell your husband.
5. You read his text messages:
What does he read all the time on the phone and why is it out of bounds to you? The curiosity in you makes you read his messages and check his contact details provided you know the password. But don’t tell this to him as he would change his password immediately!
6. You wished he were wealthy:
No amount of money will keep you contented. You compare your husband with your friend’s husband and wonder whether he is on the road to success.
7. You wished your husband was more fashionable:
Yes, sometimes it’s nice to show off to your friends that you have the best trendsetter husband. But sadly every time someone visits you or you get invited, he is at his worse. You want to kick him in the shins, but you just put a lid on your eagerness to do that to him.
8. You wished he had better presence of mind:
You keep wondering as to how one could be so absent-minded. Does he have bouts of dementia or what? Even in a case otherwise, his expressions are too plain for you to get a hint of anything. You don’t mind declaring that he bears the dumbest look.
9. You wished he had similar opinions (read: nods to your opinions):
You are rock-n-roll, while he is high on traditional music. You like new movies while he sticks to watching what he watched while growing up. You prefer him in suits, while he would want to wear pajamas. Tasteless and ancient – that is what you think about him. (Just be grateful he is not a caveman). You will go as far as having a pillow-fight but deep inside you wish you were hit with a blong – so you can put an end to these differences.
10. He deals with kids amazingly well:
Well, this is one thing you wouldn’t want to admire him for! After all, he is your fiercest competitor. The kids are scared of him but they adore him. They love the way he cooks, they want him to do all the craft work for their school and play, and they miss him awfully if he is out of town. And you know they are right. Envious? Then don’t tell him he is good, simple.
11. Your mother is more important than his:
This is another bitter truth that will crumble your husband. Your mother is more important for you because she is there for you when you face any problem. You run up to her to seek help with your kids, to know the recipes, to find a solution. And she is glad to do anything for you unlike your mother-in-law. But you wouldn’t want to share this with your husband.
Women are known for their inability to keep secrets but what men do not know is that we are very much capable of keeping secrets, selectively.


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Lately, your relationship has felt rocky, at best. You’re “not sure where this is going.” Before you break it off with your significant other, ask yourself the following questions:

1. Am I just angry?

Before you make a decision to end things, make sure you’re initiating a breakup for the right reasons. Don’t impulsively call it quits. Slow down and evaluate: Is this decision purely an emotional one? Wait until you’re calm and can carefully weigh your breakup motivation. It’s easy to give up when you’re exhausted or in the middle of unresolved conflict.

2. Can we work it out?

Can you two work it out? Also important, do you want to work it out? Is there anything about this relationship that’s worth salvaging? Even if you’re still unsure about your commitment to the relationship, try to pursue healthy conflict resolution. Talk about your concerns, voice your needs, and apologize for your role in the current situation. Listen to your partner and respect how he/she is feeling.

If you can resolve — or at least calmly address — conflict, you can better assess the future direction of your relationship. You might discover that you’re both still willing to fight for each other and give the relationship another chance. (But even if you still end things, at least it’s not in the middle of a fight.)

3. Am I jumping to conclusions?

When times get tough, it’s easy for the mind to drift to fantasyland. Don’t get caught up in the “grass is greener” games, concluding that life will be better once you re-enter the land of singleness. Don’t assume your current state of unhappiness is solely the fault of the relationship. (What happens if you break up and you’re still unsatisfied?) Nor should you leap to conclusions about the relationship just because a friend’s doomed relationship had a few parallels to yours. Try to take things at face value, not jumping ahead, exaggerating situations, or daydreaming your conflicts away.

4. Did I communicate openly about what I need?

If you initiate a breakup, will it catch your significant other off-guard? Don’t let a breakup spill from pent-up bitterness and resentment. Let the “Should we break up?” question motivate you to talk openly about your needs, desires and concerns. Instead of blaming your partner for your restlessness, communicate that you’re itching for adventure. Instead of just secretly wishing for change, you might end up pursuing the things you love with your loved one’s enthusiastic support. Choose communication over cutting him/her off. Communicating transparently with your partner might kick-start a healthier relationship; in the least, it will contribute to a deeper understanding of what’s really causing the relationship’s breakdown.

5. How will my world change when we split?

Before you break up with your partner, prepare yourself for what’s next. Things will change. Your housing situation may get complicated. Your social life will change significantly, both in how you spend your time and in whom you spend it with. Your daily routine will no longer be routine. While the fear of change or the unknown shouldn’t stop you from leaving an unhealthy relationship, ending things before you’ve considered the first few steps pre-breakup can make a sad situation even more stressful and overwhelming.

6. Will I regret ending the relationship?

As you’re considering the consequences of breaking up, ask yourself if ending the relationship will be something you’ll ultimately regret. Deep down, do you believe you’re giving up too quickly? Do you still believe, deep down, that he’s “the one”? No one wants a “one that got away.”

It should be noted that regret is not the same things as “feeling bad.” Of course you’ll hate to hurt your partner’s feelings, and will be sad to end something you once hoped would last a lifetime. Regret, however, is painful disappointment in yourself for missing out on something that could have been good. It makes moving forward difficult.

7. Is initiating a breakup just playing a game?

If you’re secretly hoping that a breakup — or even just a threat of a breakup — will bring the two of you closer together, it won’t. Don’t play games with either of your hearts. If you want things to get better, assert yourself and invest time and energy in the relationship. Never use the threat of a breakup as a tool to initiate change.

8. Is anyone influencing my decision to end the relationship?

Who in your life is on Team Breakup? Are there friends or family members pushing you toward this decision? Evaluate their motives — they may have identified relationship red flags that shouldn’t be ignored, or they may have selfish, unhealthy reasons for pushing you toward a split — and make sure that you’re at peace with your decision, regardless of outside influences.

9. Have I given this relationship my best shot?

A relationship will fail eventually if you’re not all in. Don’t blame your partner for the crumbling of a romance if you haven’t given your best to the relationship. If you’re hesitant to say goodbye, try throwing yourself back into the union, full throttle. If you still care, don’t let love fizzle without a fight.


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Lately, your relationship has felt rocky, at best. You’re “not sure where this is going.” Before you break it off with your significant other, ask yourself the following questions:

1. Am I just angry?

Before you make a decision to end things, make sure you’re initiating a breakup for the right reasons. Don’t impulsively call it quits. Slow down and evaluate: Is this decision purely an emotional one? Wait until you’re calm and can carefully weigh your breakup motivation. It’s easy to give up when you’re exhausted or in the middle of unresolved conflict.

2. Can we work it out?

Can you two work it out? Also important, do you want to work it out? Is there anything about this relationship that’s worth salvaging? Even if you’re still unsure about your commitment to the relationship, try to pursue healthy conflict resolution. Talk about your concerns, voice your needs, and apologize for your role in the current situation. Listen to your partner and respect how he/she is feeling.

If you can resolve — or at least calmly address — conflict, you can better assess the future direction of your relationship. You might discover that you’re both still willing to fight for each other and give the relationship another chance. (But even if you still end things, at least it’s not in the middle of a fight.)

3. Am I jumping to conclusions?

When times get tough, it’s easy for the mind to drift to fantasyland. Don’t get caught up in the “grass is greener” games, concluding that life will be better once you re-enter the land of singleness. Don’t assume your current state of unhappiness is solely the fault of the relationship. (What happens if you break up and you’re still unsatisfied?) Nor should you leap to conclusions about the relationship just because a friend’s doomed relationship had a few parallels to yours. Try to take things at face value, not jumping ahead, exaggerating situations, or daydreaming your conflicts away.

4. Did I communicate openly about what I need?

If you initiate a breakup, will it catch your significant other off-guard? Don’t let a breakup spill from pent-up bitterness and resentment. Let the “Should we break up?” question motivate you to talk openly about your needs, desires and concerns. Instead of blaming your partner for your restlessness, communicate that you’re itching for adventure. Instead of just secretly wishing for change, you might end up pursuing the things you love with your loved one’s enthusiastic support. Choose communication over cutting him/her off. Communicating transparently with your partner might kick-start a healthier relationship; in the least, it will contribute to a deeper understanding of what’s really causing the relationship’s breakdown.

5. How will my world change when we split?

Before you break up with your partner, prepare yourself for what’s next. Things will change. Your housing situation may get complicated. Your social life will change significantly, both in how you spend your time and in whom you spend it with. Your daily routine will no longer be routine. While the fear of change or the unknown shouldn’t stop you from leaving an unhealthy relationship, ending things before you’ve considered the first few steps pre-breakup can make a sad situation even more stressful and overwhelming.

6. Will I regret ending the relationship?

As you’re considering the consequences of breaking up, ask yourself if ending the relationship will be something you’ll ultimately regret. Deep down, do you believe you’re giving up too quickly? Do you still believe, deep down, that he’s “the one”? No one wants a “one that got away.”

It should be noted that regret is not the same things as “feeling bad.” Of course you’ll hate to hurt your partner’s feelings, and will be sad to end something you once hoped would last a lifetime. Regret, however, is painful disappointment in yourself for missing out on something that could have been good. It makes moving forward difficult.

7. Is initiating a breakup just playing a game?

If you’re secretly hoping that a breakup — or even just a threat of a breakup — will bring the two of you closer together, it won’t. Don’t play games with either of your hearts. If you want things to get better, assert yourself and invest time and energy in the relationship. Never use the threat of a breakup as a tool to initiate change.

8. Is anyone influencing my decision to end the relationship?

Who in your life is on Team Breakup? Are there friends or family members pushing you toward this decision? Evaluate their motives — they may have identified relationship red flags that shouldn’t be ignored, or they may have selfish, unhealthy reasons for pushing you toward a split — and make sure that you’re at peace with your decision, regardless of outside influences.

9. Have I given this relationship my best shot?

A relationship will fail eventually if you’re not all in. Don’t blame your partner for the crumbling of a romance if you haven’t given your best to the relationship. If you’re hesitant to say goodbye, try throwing yourself back into the union, full throttle. If you still care, don’t let love fizzle without a fight.


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If you are a single woman over 40, I have a question for you: When you look at yourself today, are you the same person you were in your 20s or 30s? Have many of your priorities changed? Has experience taught you new life skills and shifted your perspective on things you previously held as absolute truths?

And what about when it comes to dating and relationships? Have you updated your “checklist” for the 55-year-old men you are dating; choosing not to judge them like you did 35 year olds? Have you learned that your worth is far more than whether a man wants you, and that you are okay with yourself; whether or not you have a partner?

READ ALSO Seven (7) Signs He/She Is Not ‘The One’ For You

If you’re like me, the answer is probably a resounding “yes” to these questions. You’ve probably opened your mind to new ideas, and perhaps closed your mind to others. You’ve learned life skills that have brought you success, both at work and at home.

In fact, you’re probably feeling damn smart at this point in your life. And you should! You have achieved a lot, and gained a ton of knowledge and skills over the years. Together, this has rendered you one wise woman.

Well, like us, men change and evolve. I can hear you shout, “I know that!” (I’m even tempted to throw a “duh” in here.) But in my work as a Dating and Relationship Coach for Women over 40, I often help women who say they know this, yet still tend to make assumptions about men based on stereotypes and expectations that originated in their teenage years and lingered.

Like you, men in midlife and beyond have experienced, matured and created good lives for themselves and these men can make fantastic partners. Yes, there are some outliers, just like there are women dating like they are still in their 20s. But if you make the mistake of assuming all men are childish, it’s likely the grown-up good guys are going to pass you by.

Here are three common misconceptions about men that are based on when we were dating boys:

READ ALSO 15 Signs You Are in a Dead-End Relationship

1. Grown-up men do not chase.

Even if they once were, they no longer see the value and have dumped it as a hobby. Why? First, the woman-to-man ratio is now in their favor and they don’t have to compete like they did in their 20s. Also, their hormones have mellowed and they have broadened their vision of themselves; reducing the need (and sometimes ability) to rack up sexual conquests.

Finally, the grown-up men who have achieved success in life know how to how to get what they want. If they think you are unattainable, uninterested or you don’t have space for them in your life they will move on. They won’t waste their time on something (or someone) they can’t win.

What does this mean for you, the single woman in her 40s, 50s or beyond trying to connect with a good man? It means when you meet someone you are interested in, you need to let him know! It’s not about being aggressive — like asking him out or jumping into bed with him. It’s simply about giving him a clear signal that, if he asks, you will say yes. Tell him you very much look forward to talking with him again sometime. Tell him that you had a great time and would like to do it again. Compliment him. Receive graciously. These are all ways to show clear interest.

READ ALSO 10 Men Christian Women Should Never Marry

The old idea of “the rules” and making him chase you not only doesn’t fly with grown-up dating, it turns off the smart, commitment-minded men you are probably trying to meet. These men are not into playing games or climbing your wall of “I dare you.” They just want to meet a nice woman, have an easy time getting to know her and hopefully meet a wonderful partner to share the rest of a great life.

2. Grown-up men are willing to communicate.

Like you, they have many years of professional and personal circumstances that required them to develop effective communication skills. You can talk to men and they will talk back; and even listen! This is good news. You can be open, honest and direct without playing games. Tell him what you want, what you don’t want (in a kind way) and your true feelings. There is still the question of timing, and effective communication with the opposite sex requires a special language. (That is a whole other story for another time.) But chances are that he won’t run away like the mute scaredy cats you dated twenty years ago.

READ ALSO How To Give Your Man Exactly What He Wants On Valentine’s Day

Grown-up men want to know they can make you happy. If you don’t make them guess how, and are willing to cut out the drama of unjustified disappointment…you will likely find your life changing with all the men around you. So tell them how to make you happy, and if they like you they will do it, get it or create it! And if not, they (or you) will move on. Either way, you win!

3. Grown-up men would rather be alone than with the wrong woman.

In our 20s and 30s we are looking for someone with whom we can create our life. Now we are looking for someone to enhance what we already have created. We are looking for a good fit, not potential. Just like you, these guys have figured out that their life is just fine and that being with the wrong person is way worse than being with themselves.

This is why men often seem to have a great time with you, yet you never hear from them again. It just means he liked you, but doesn’t see you fitting into his life. (Men can be smarter about this than us gals. They tend to be better about not trying to fit a round peg in a square hole…so to speak.) So if you don’t hear from him, just know he knew something about himself or his life that meant you weren’t meant for each other.

If finding love with an adult, interesting, committed man is on your dream list, consider opening your mind to see him as such. If being with you doesn’t greatly enhance his life, he’d rather be alone. And I know you would too.

READ ALSO Why My Husband Will Always Come First Before My Kids

If you like him, show him, and let him know there is room in your life for a man. Lastly, don’t make him guess what you want. Tell him how he can make you happy. The right man will love you for it. And you just might love him back!



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A gift-giving mentality becomes even more important as a relationship evolves — and some of the very best presents can’t be wrapped. They’re the thoughts and gestures that come straight from the heart and can transform a good partnership into a truly great one. “One thing that stands out in the research is that the actions you perform are the most important,” says Gay Hendricks, PhD, coauthor with his wife, Kathlyn.

Since it’s the time of year when presents are on everyone’s mind, it’s the perfect opportunity to transform your relationship from good to great — or from great to greater — by giving your partner these six very important gifts.

GIFT 1: LEARN YOUR PARTNER’S “LOVE LANGUAGE”
Each of us wants to feel loved by our partner and wants our partner to feel loved by us. The challenge for many couples, according to Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages (Northfield, 2010), is that the way one person shows love often isn’t the way his or her partner intuitively feels it.

One person, for example, may experience physical affection as love, while her partner experiences help with the household chores as the ultimate token of affection. They are, in essence, speaking different languages. “These miscommunications aren’t a matter of not having good intentions,” says Chapman. “They’re a matter of not touching the heart or emotions of the other person.”

also suggests asking yourself what you most often demand of your spouse. “The thing you have most often requested is likely the thing that would make you feel the most loved,” he notes. Here are Chapman’s five love languages:

Words of Affirmation. Some people experience love most directly through warm words, whether they’re verbal compliments or encouragements — anything from “I appreciate that you found a babysitter for tonight” to “I know you can run that 10K!” Whether or not words of affirmation are your primary love language, research suggests that supportive comments help couples develop a sense of “we-ness,” a feeling that enhances satisfaction with one’s partnership.

Quality Time. If this is your primary love language, you want your partner’s undivided attention. It’s important to you to have time together without distractions where you can nurture conversations and enjoy activities together. Quality time, according to Chapman, helps couples build reserves of positive memories, which are linked to increased marital stability and satisfaction.

Receiving Gifts. Actual presents have their place on the spectrum of relationship gift giving, too. The key to speaking this love language, however, has nothing to do with the price tag — it’s all about making your partner feel understood. This could be a store-bought bracelet or a beautiful rock you pick up on a hike or a watercolor you paint. These kinds of gifts demonstrate that you’ve been paying attention, and that you really see who your partner is and what she loves.

Acts of Service. This love language emphasizes doing things you know your partner would like you to do, from making dinner to changing the cat’s litter to paying the bills. These acts show your partner that you notice what’s going on in his life and want to help him.

Physical Touch. Backrubs, holding hands, deep hugs, kisses, putting your arm around your partner — for some people, physical intimacy is the signal of love and affection. If your primary love language is physical touch, nothing will say “I love you” more than being held or touched.

Bring passion back to touch by connecting emotionally as well as physically. You can do this by having each partner tune in to what touching feels like. He suggests taking turns deliberately touching your partner and noticing how it feels to touch and be touched. Do this experiment once when each person is tuned in to the experience and once when each person is tuned out. This helps both people understand the importance of really being in the moment, he says.

When both people focus on the same spot at the same time on opposite sides of the skin, it creates an electric sensation that is the byproduct of emotional attention.”

GIFT 2: ALLOW SPACE FOR SOLITUDE
When author Laura Munson and her husband got married, their ceremony included a quote from the poet Rainier Maria Rilke, which read, in part: “A good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus they show each other the greatest possible trust.” Almost two decades of marriage and two children later, Munson’s husband began to have doubts about the marriage. But instead of begging him to stay, Munson took Rilke’s quote to heart and gave her husband the emotional space she felt he needed to reflect and reconnect with himself.

During an especially difficult stretch where her husband took up residence in another part of the house, Munson focused on what she knew in her heart: that she and her husband had a solid, loving bond that could transcend his personal crisis. “If a person needs to reconnect with who they are, the greatest gift a partner can give is the gift of space,” she says. “It’s a refueling time.” Today, Munson’s bond with her husband is stronger than ever.

Munson’s story, which she recounts in her memoir, This Is Not The Story You Think It Is: A Season Of Unlikely Happiness (Amy Einhorn/Putnam, 2010), is a dramatic example of how powerful the gift of solitude can be. Giving your partner the gift of time not only helps repair relationships, as with Munson’s, but it can transform them from good to great. Time apart — whether it’s a night out with friends, a quiet morning alone or a solo weekend away — helps your partner get in touch with her needs, interests and priorities. And it allows her to more authentically share them with you.

GIFT 3: DON’T SKIMP ON TIME TOGETHER
Some solitude is healthy, but as with all things, balance is key. Too much can weaken a relationship by creating separate spheres of interest, which can lead to couples having less and less in common over time. After all, we tend to fall — and stay — in love with the person we have the most fun with. That’s why relationship expert Willard F. Harley Jr., PhD, advises couples to do the things they enjoy the most together. “Couples who spend their most enjoyable time together tend to have great marriages,” he says.

Giving each other the gift of what Harley calls “recreational companionship” benefits both giver and receiver by combining two important human needs: to have fun and to have a companion. Harley recommends spending most, if not all, of your recreational time with your significant other. Stumped about what to do together? To jump-start your imagination — and recreation — he developed the Recreational Enjoyment Inventory at www.marriagebuilders.com. It’s an extensive list of activities — from archery and astronomy to cribbage, croquet and gardening. Each partner ranks each activity based on his or her level of interest. When both people give an activity a high score, it’s one worth trying.

GIFT 4: CRACK DOWN ON CRITICISM
Nothing can sink a relationship faster than unrelenting negativity, says marriage researcher John Gottman, PhD, author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (Three Rivers, 2000). In his research at the University of Washington’s “Love Lab,” Gottman has found that successful relationships have a 5-to-1 ratio of positive interactions — compliments, loving glances, offers to help out — to negative gestures such as criticism and nagging.

Whether you nag or simply turn your back when your partner is talking, these negative gestures erode your sense of togetherness. Researchers have even found that eye rolling after a spouse’s comment can be a strong predictor for divorce.

To bring your interaction ratio in line with Gottman’s recommendation, try to become more aware of how often you’re criticizing your spouse. One way to do this is to create some kind of lighthearted stopgap when you notice critical commentary — put a coin in a jar, or create a silly code word to let your partner know you’ve caught yourself (or her) in the act. Then try consciously focusing on each other’s strengths instead. Criticism will be naturally tamped down, and that will give each of you more opportunities to feel successful, appreciated and loved.

Accentuating the positive in your relationship doesn’t mean you should ignore tough issues. It’s just that you need to do it in an environment that’s fortified with positive feelings and exchanges.

“There’s a big difference between asking for change and criticizing,” says psychologist Noelle Nelson, PhD, author of Your Man Is Wonderful (Free Press, 2009). “If what you want is more participation with the kids or the house, that’s fine. But you need to start out from the perspective that you respect your partner, and his way of doing things is as valid as yours.”

GIFT 5: ACTIVELY LISTEN TO YOUR PARTNER
During the courtship and honeymoon phase, it’s easy to hang on your lover’s every word. “Being listened to in childhood develops our sense of self and is how we know we are important, and the same is true for adults,” says psychologist Jan Hoistad, PhD, author of the Big Picture Partnering blog and the book Romance Rehab: 10 Steps to Rescue Your Relationship (Sterling, 2010).

Unfortunately, when couples are together for a long time, it’s common to become less attentive — but with a little practice, you can renew your capacity for rapt listening. Hoistad suggests taking turns actively talking and listening at least four times a week for 20 to 30 minutes. Alternate which of you goes first and talk about something important to you, excluding well-traveled topics and hot-button issues as much as possible.

Be honest, but don’t just focus on what’s bringing you down. Hoistad recommends sharing personal successes and things you find exciting, rewarding and worth celebrating. Then, when it’s your partner’s turn, actively listen to what he or she has to say without interrupting. What’s most important, Hoistad says, is to listen with a readiness to give and take. “When we’re generous with others it creates such nice feelings,” she says. “And then the other person naturally starts giving back.”

GIFT 6: PURSUE PASSION
Passion often gets sidelined as a marriage becomes more established, but there are far-ranging benefits to bringing it back, says clinical psychologist David Schnarch, PhD, author of Intimacy & Desire: Awaken the Passion in Your Marriage (Beaufort Books, 2009). For starters, tapping into passion helps us discover more about who we are, which allows us to share more of ourselves with our partner. “When we are the object of our partner’s passion, it makes us feel desirable and desirous,” says Schnarch.

Passion also improves relationships by making people more tolerant of one another. “When we think our partner likes us, we are much more forgiving of grievances, and we’re also more tolerant of the inherent nicks and bruises of being in a relationship,” he adds.

Good sex has other benefits, too. Orgasm increases levels of oxytocin, a hormone that boosts feelings of connection and trust. Higher oxytocin levels have also been linked to increased feelings of generosity, reduced stress and improved cardiovascular health. And sex increases self-esteem; a five-year study at the University of Texas found that one of the reasons people have sex is to boost feelings of positive self-regard.

If passion is in short supply in your life, Schnarch recommends these simple strategies:

Hugging to Relax. Most hugs last an average of four seconds, says Schnarch. Extending a hug to 10 minutes without the pressure that it should lead to sex can be a way to reconnect with your partner. “The focus of a 10-minute hug isn’t about holding your partner,” he explains. “It’s about putting your arms around your partner and calming yourself down. This calms the anxieties that separate people.”

Heads on Pillow. For many couples, it’s tough to transition from washing the dishes to rolling around in the sheets. That’s why Schnarch advises partners to lie in bed with their clothes on and face each other with enough distance so that you can clearly see each other’s faces. “Hold hands, look at each other, and stay there for 10 minutes,” he advises. Most people feel passion start to kick in when they’re relaxed and lying down.

Feeling While Touching. Many couples develop the habit of touching each other without really feeling each other. “It’s very irritating to be touched by a partner when their touch feels mindless, like your partner is not invested and you are being taken for granted,” Schnarch says.


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