| Re: I Resigned From Work In Lagos, Relocated To Abuja To Be With My Girl & Get A Job by fotadmowmend(m): 3:14pm On Mar 21, 2021 |
My advice . You can use your car as Uber pending. Even if you are married, no woman can finance home for a long time without issues . The lady isn't at fault 4 Likes |
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| Re: I Resigned From Work In Lagos, Relocated To Abuja To Be With My Girl & Get A Job by Vaiki(m): 3:16pm On Mar 21, 2021 |
Ishilove:
Hiaaaaan!
Take this lesson home: you call her 'evening newspaper' and say she is desperate, but she is a lot smarter than you with your puny preek, puny brain and gigantic ego. How can you relocate to leech off a woman without a plan B?? Who does that? Chairlady NL witchcraft association president has spoken again for one of hers( Evening paper brethren)  1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: I Resigned From Work In Lagos, Relocated To Abuja To Be With My Girl & Get A Job by Oluwatosin6060: 3:16pm On Mar 21, 2021 |
What happened to your car?
If the car is still available ,then go back to e-hailing business...You can use that to start a new life in Abuja if you really like the lifestyle as you have mentioned. God help you bro |
| Re: I Resigned From Work In Lagos, Relocated To Abuja To Be With My Girl & Get A Job by bitingcool: 3:16pm On Mar 21, 2021 |
Apination:
What happened to your car you were using to hustle? The idiotic op said he left it in lagos because he wanted to test the woman. Imagine! In his words: Switchman:
Though you sounded harsh to me but the fact is that you are actually right cos that was the most stupid decision I took and I can't reverse that which is why am here to seek advise so I won't make a more worse one.
Like I said I had a back up plan which is my car I left in Lagos and intentionally don't want to bring it to Abuja to do side hustle cos I want to know her attitudes in worse case scenario and I never expected within 3 months she will turn boss lady on me.
Shebi u don test am now. 3 Likes |
| Re: I Resigned From Work In Lagos, Relocated To Abuja To Be With My Girl & Get A Job by TheFalcons: 3:16pm On Mar 21, 2021 |
I was laughing all through the read.
You resigned to go and live under the sponsorship of a girlfriend.
A woman cannot spend a dime on a man without the world knowing, especially if she isn't getting anything back.
I'm sure you've learnt. Things will change and I hope you won't commit the same blunder again 2 Likes |
| Re: I Resigned From Work In Lagos, Relocated To Abuja To Be With My Girl & Get A Job by TheLasyBuddha: 3:16pm On Mar 21, 2021 |
McSquishi:
Well, firstly why did you accept the interest of a woman who you perceived was only interested in you due to her “age and desperation”? Why would u want to be chosen based on desperation?
You should be mindful that because she is the breadwinner she is not treating you like the house help by expecting to you to manage the home, she is treating you like the other half. When one goes out and works the other stays home and gets things in order there.
You should want to be doing so well managing the home duties that she almost forgets to be disappointed in the fact that you’ve failed to earn an income. Have dinner waiting, keep the place spotless, fold her clothes...
But it’s nice to see a man recognizing that the duties of managing the home isn’t easy He expects her to come back from work and still do the dishes. You could still do all of that and still earn your respect as a man. Na conduct. There are times when I visit my girlfriend, if the sink is filled and I noticed she is stressed due to work, I will do the dishes before leaving. I don't have a job yet but the respect dey. Women who are older expect differently from a man, especially things that challenges the male ego and men tend to view this as burden. She isn't desperate. She wants a mature person to be with but the OP no fit get that kind level of it. 12 Likes |
| Re: I Resigned From Work In Lagos, Relocated To Abuja To Be With My Girl & Get A Job by Babara1994(m): 3:16pm On Mar 21, 2021 |
Switchman:
I actually don't have issues with the house chores as a way to assist her but the bad mouth is really killing me.
What are those things she tells you? Pls say everything here, so we can know how to help you? Btw, do you still sleep with her? |
| Re: I Resigned From Work In Lagos, Relocated To Abuja To Be With My Girl & Get A Job by doxijaw: 3:17pm On Mar 21, 2021 |
Ishilove:
Hiaaaaan!
Take this lesson home: you call her 'evening newspaper' and say she is desperate, but she is a lot smarter than you with your puny preek, puny brain and gigantic ego. How can you relocate to leech off a woman without a plan B?? Who does that? Agree with you here! Minus the obscene comments 1 Like |
| Re: I Resigned From Work In Lagos, Relocated To Abuja To Be With My Girl & Get A Job by eveninnewspaper: 3:17pm On Mar 21, 2021 |
A N'ler left Lagos to dig gold from a desperate evening newspaper in Abuja. Hmmm! OP, don't be angry with her that you have to do your laundry by yourself while she pays to have hers done. I promise, I'm not even gonna comment  2 Likes |
| Re: I Resigned From Work In Lagos, Relocated To Abuja To Be With My Girl & Get A Job by BREYZ: 3:17pm On Mar 21, 2021 |
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| Re: I Resigned From Work In Lagos, Relocated To Abuja To Be With My Girl & Get A Job by MrIcredible: 3:17pm On Mar 21, 2021 |
Switchman:
Please I Need Your Candid And Long Term Advise, I Am Presently Depressed And Out
This will be a lengthy one but I promise to summarize it as much as I can.
I met a lady in her late 30s 18months ago through an online friend. I was working in Lagos while she was based and working in Abuja.
We chatted for a while before she volunteered to come to Lagos for a visit over the weekend which doesn't seem a bad idea to me cos I believed seeing in person is better than 1 million pictures.
Due to her age and desperation, we met and she liked what she saw in me and intensive talks began on how I can relocate to Abuja and get better job. I actually haven't been to Abuja so I was excited to take that move with the hope of becoming a better person and getting a better job.
I resigned from my job due to some issues as at that time which could had been managed but so I can have more time to visit and see how things are in Abuja before making my final preparation to relocate. She supports financially during those time while I use my car for ehailing business pending when I will finally relocate.
Covid 19 lock down came and all plans were halted due to restrictions on vehicular movements. Fast forward to November last year I made final plans and I agreed to finally relocate but on the conditions that we will need to get a new apartment cos I don't want to move in with her to her former apartment which was a one room self contain, we got a 1 bedroom apartment and I moved in with her. She owns 90% stake on the expenses incurred but in the spirit of hope for a better job, I will upgrade the apartment to have an equal stake in the home.
It's been 3 months now I have fully relocated and we have been cohabiting but it's been hell for me and I just need help on how to get out of this mess I put myself. No job was forth coming and due to the fact that I am home always, I have been reduced to a house help cos I am the one doing the chores, cleaning the dishes and even my laundry though she pays for her own, so many other insults and atimes it's with exchanges of words before I can take a walk just to acclimatize myself with the terrains of the area.
It's really a bad experience for a man not to have a steady source of income cos in a twinkle of an eye the love will vanish.
I love the lifestyle of Abuja cos it is less stressful than Lagos and I will really like to get a good source of income so I can get my own apartment and be free from the shackles I put myself in the name of love.
I really need help now cos I know my days are numbered and it's a matter of time before she sends me packing cos I really don't have the right to the apartment. Please house, I need your candid advise on what to do and as always constructive criticism is allowed.
Thanks
Switchman
What stupîd advice do you need in this situation again? That you'll be kicked out asap and you should prepare? Is your brain not telling you that already? I bet you don't know the meaning of advice. |
| Re: I Resigned From Work In Lagos, Relocated To Abuja To Be With My Girl & Get A Job by Tloc(m): 3:18pm On Mar 21, 2021 |
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| Re: I Resigned From Work In Lagos, Relocated To Abuja To Be With My Girl & Get A Job by pmc01(m): 3:19pm On Mar 21, 2021 |
BarristerAlarig:
You are a very nasty person who feels entitled to other people's money. So you have a car, which could have been used for ehailing services to generate income pending when you get a job but you choose to leave it idle in Lagos while expecting a woman to shoulder your responsibilities in this harsh economy because you want to "test" her??
So when they get married and it happens that he loses everything, what happens then? Will she be nicer?
You deserve everything you are getting. I pray she throws you out. |
| Re: I Resigned From Work In Lagos, Relocated To Abuja To Be With My Girl & Get A Job by BRATISLAVA: 3:19pm On Mar 21, 2021 |
pocohantas:
They are MANY in Abuja and PH, but we are not ready for that conversation. One hook my friend, small girl o. The kind chest pain that guy dey give her ehn?! When I mentioned that there are many sugar boys hanging around malls and fancy places, one idiot was here acting daft. I told him that he's probably one of those stupid guys that see you with a trolley and come and push it for you, you thinking they're helpful staff, then he begins to talk useless propositions, he thought I was feeling fly about being at the mall. Come to these places and your eyes will open wiiiiide. Women should beware of gold digging men. They're everywhere. 6 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: I Resigned From Work In Lagos, Relocated To Abuja To Be With My Girl & Get A Job by franchasng: 3:20pm On Mar 21, 2021 |
Shokoloko:
If you were my son, even as old as you are, I will beat the living daylight out of you.
Go back to Lagos immediately.
You tried to play a game you have not mastered, now you have been played.
From your write-up you never liked this woman. You loved her desperation
Leave that house now. Go do uber with your car. If you have no accommodation, sleep in your car. Gbam! Stay blessed. I never knew we had male leeches in Nigeria oh. Wonders 1 Like |
| Re: I Resigned From Work In Lagos, Relocated To Abuja To Be With My Girl & Get A Job by pmc01(m): 3:20pm On Mar 21, 2021 |
TheLasyBuddha:
He expects her to come back from work and still do the dishes. You could still do all of that and still earn your respect as a man. Na conduct.
There are times when I visit my girlfriend, if the sink is filled and I noticed she is stressed due to work, I will do the dishes before leaving. I don't have a job yet but the respect dey.
Women who are older expect differently from a man, especially things that challenges the male ego and men tend to view this as burden.
She isn't desperate. She wants a mature person to be with but the OP no fit get that kind level of it. Fair point |
| Re: I Resigned From Work In Lagos, Relocated To Abuja To Be With My Girl & Get A Job by TheLasyBuddha: 3:20pm On Mar 21, 2021 |
MufasaLion:
As much as I like older women. You're just a SIMP!. I love older women die! Currently in a relationship with one who is 7 years older than I am. I will never leave an older woman for all these young children of these days. |
| Re: I Resigned From Work In Lagos, Relocated To Abuja To Be With My Girl & Get A Job by edunaragold(f): 3:20pm On Mar 21, 2021 |
Oga u are so dumb,imagin your aim never click ,u went and pack out to meet your lover,don't u know money is everything, there is a saying which goes like this ,money go woman go.�����,even a common cleaner now is well respect by her than u,my advice is that just manage and pray till u get work,patience is a virtues. |
| Re: I Resigned From Work In Lagos, Relocated To Abuja To Be With My Girl & Get A Job by franchasng: 3:22pm On Mar 21, 2021 |
BRATISLAVA:
When I mentioned that there are many sugar boys hanging around malls and fancy places, one idiot was here acting daft. I told him that he's probably one of those stupid guys that see you with a trolley and come and push it for you, you thinking they're helpful staff, then he begins to talk useless propositions, he thought I was feeling fly about being at the mall. Come to these places and your eyes will open wiiiiide.
Women should beware of gold digging men. They're everywhere. Honestly I am amazed by this thread. This Op is a disgrace to men. He thought he could play the lady, but God pass him. He should ask for forgiveness and go back to Lagos and start his life afresh and this time, be a good man who believe in himself and what God alone can do for him. This post should teach all those ladies who think they can play their male age mates hoping to get better love from boys younger than them. Those guys only see you as their ATM and sex slave. 1 Like |
| Re: I Resigned From Work In Lagos, Relocated To Abuja To Be With My Girl & Get A Job by samdaisi: 3:22pm On Mar 21, 2021 |
Oga short cut always Leads to cut short, again greediness is a sickness |
| Re: I Resigned From Work In Lagos, Relocated To Abuja To Be With My Girl & Get A Job by CryptoRepublic1: 3:22pm On Mar 21, 2021 |
Ishilove:
Hiaaaaan!
Take this lesson home: you call her 'evening newspaper' and say she is desperate, but she is a lot smarter than you with your puny preek, puny brain and gigantic ego. How can you relocate to leech off a woman without a plan B?? Who does that? Typical African woman what happened to the 50/50 that women of these days are constantly screaming about?if a woman can move in with a man and leech on him,so why can't a man do the same? 3 Likes |
| Re: I Resigned From Work In Lagos, Relocated To Abuja To Be With My Girl & Get A Job by Wilespo: 3:23pm On Mar 21, 2021 |
Switchman:
Please I Need Your Candid And Long Term Advise, I Am Presently Depressed And Out
This will be a lengthy one but I promise to summarize it as much as I can.
I met a lady in her late 30s 18months ago through an online friend. I was working in Lagos while she was based and working in Abuja.
We chatted for a while before she volunteered to come to Lagos for a visit over the weekend which doesn't seem a bad idea to me cos I believed seeing in person is better than 1 million pictures.
Due to her age and desperation, we met and she liked what she saw in me and intensive talks began on how I can relocate to Abuja and get better job. I actually haven't been to Abuja so I was excited to take that move with the hope of becoming a better person and getting a better job.
I resigned from my job due to some issues as at that time which could had been managed but so I can have more time to visit and see how things are in Abuja before making my final preparation to relocate. She supports financially during those time while I use my car for ehailing business pending when I will finally relocate.
Covid 19 lock down came and all plans were halted due to restrictions on vehicular movements. Fast forward to November last year I made final plans and I agreed to finally relocate but on the conditions that we will need to get a new apartment cos I don't want to move in with her to her former apartment which was a one room self contain, we got a 1 bedroom apartment and I moved in with her. She owns 90% stake on the expenses incurred but in the spirit of hope for a better job, I will upgrade the apartment to have an equal stake in the home.
It's been 3 months now I have fully relocated and we have been cohabiting but it's been hell for me and I just need help on how to get out of this mess I put myself. No job was forth coming and due to the fact that I am home always, I have been reduced to a house help cos I am the one doing the chores, cleaning the dishes and even my laundry though she pays for her own, so many other insults and atimes it's with exchanges of words before I can take a walk just to acclimatize myself with the terrains of the area.
It's really a bad experience for a man not to have a steady source of income cos in a twinkle of an eye the love will vanish.
I love the lifestyle of Abuja cos it is less stressful than Lagos and I will really like to get a good source of income so I can get my own apartment and be free from the shackles I put myself in the name of love.
I really need help now cos I know my days are numbered and it's a matter of time before she sends me packing cos I really don't have the right to the apartment. Please house, I need your candid advise on what to do and as always constructive criticism is allowed.
Thanks
Switchman
...............lol, bros na wa for u sha...u dey woman house, u no get job and na the woman dey run the house basically and u expect make she dey do house chores join am ? and i sure say u dey lamba her steady self ......bros if i were u, i will be loyal.......if u dont like washing plates, hustle more so u can get a job and be leaving the house, but until then, support her in anyway u can and that includes washing plates and doing the house chores while she provides for the house...table can turn wen u get a well paying job.....i dont see any wrong the woman has done here apart from the fact where u stated she insults u and i believe u aint a saint urself....na something dey lead to the insult.......if u no like the chores, dey use ur vehicle dey go hustle before u get decent job and if u feel ur pride and ego wpnt let u cope with the situation, relocate back to lagos! 8 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: I Resigned From Work In Lagos, Relocated To Abuja To Be With My Girl & Get A Job by bukatyne(f): 3:23pm On Mar 21, 2021 |
Switchman:
Please I Need Your Candid And Long Term Advise, I Am Presently Depressed And Out
This will be a lengthy one but I promise to summarize it as much as I can.
I met a lady in her late 30s 18months ago through an online friend. I was working in Lagos while she was based and working in Abuja.
We chatted for a while before she volunteered to come to Lagos for a visit over the weekend which doesn't seem a bad idea to me cos I believed seeing in person is better than 1 million pictures.
Due to her age and desperation, we met and she liked what she saw in me and intensive talks began on how I can relocate to Abuja and get better job. I actually haven't been to Abuja so I was excited to take that move with the hope of becoming a better person and getting a better job.
I resigned from my job due to some issues as at that time which could had been managed but so I can have more time to visit and see how things are in Abuja before making my final preparation to relocate. She supports financially during those time while I use my car for ehailing business pending when I will finally relocate.
Covid 19 lock down came and all plans were halted due to restrictions on vehicular movements. Fast forward to November last year I made final plans and I agreed to finally relocate but on the conditions that we will need to get a new apartment cos I don't want to move in with her to her former apartment which was a one room self contain, we got a 1 bedroom apartment and I moved in with her. She owns 90% stake on the expenses incurred but in the spirit of hope for a better job, I will upgrade the apartment to have an equal stake in the home.
It's been 3 months now I have fully relocated and we have been cohabiting but it's been hell for me and I just need help on how to get out of this mess I put myself. No job was forth coming and due to the fact that I am home always, I have been reduced to a house help cos I am the one doing the chores, cleaning the dishes and even my laundry though she pays for her own, so many other insults and atimes it's with exchanges of words before I can take a walk just to acclimatize myself with the terrains of the area.
It's really a bad experience for a man not to have a steady source of income cos in a twinkle of an eye the love will vanish.
I love the lifestyle of Abuja cos it is less stressful than Lagos and I will really like to get a good source of income so I can get my own apartment and be free from the shackles I put myself in the name of love.
I really need help now cos I know my days are numbered and it's a matter of time before she sends me packing cos I really don't have the right to the apartment. Please house, I need your candid advise on what to do and as always constructive criticism is allowed.
Thanks
Switchman
How can you (the supposed man in the relationship) relocate without a job for a woman you are not married to? You are even dictating the type of apartment to rent without having the funds? You say she is desperate yet you are the one who left your job to join her.  How would you even call your proposed wife 'desperate'? If you are a traditional man who sees doing chores in the space he lives as slavery, then you behave like one. A traditional man provides all/most of the resources in the home. He also plans his future and by extension the future of the family. You have not handled any of these responsibilities; why should you reap the benefits? So you expect her to come back home from work and start cleaning or cooking? Then what is your usefulness in her life? What value are you adding? Instead of thinking about her finances which would have increased, you are crying about your ego. I advise you come back to Lagos or move out of her apartment at Abuja. You don't live nor respect her; you are not willing to add value; you don't have the right attitude etc. 10 Likes |
| Re: I Resigned From Work In Lagos, Relocated To Abuja To Be With My Girl & Get A Job by AfroKnight: 3:24pm On Mar 21, 2021 |
Shokoloko:
If you were my son, even as old as you are, I will beat the living daylight out of you.
Go back to Lagos immediately.
You tried to play a game you have not mastered, now you have been played.
From your write-up you never liked this woman. You loved her desperation
Leave that house now. Go do uber with your car. If you have no accommodation, sleep in your car. Well said. He needs cane. |
| Re: I Resigned From Work In Lagos, Relocated To Abuja To Be With My Girl & Get A Job by palsenator(m): 3:24pm On Mar 21, 2021 |
I blame people that always bring their live issues to nairaland. Too many kids here for some life touching discussions. Better consult with an elder or a registered counsellor. Nairaland is a wrong place for advice, they will only add to your depression. 1 Like |
| Re: I Resigned From Work In Lagos, Relocated To Abuja To Be With My Girl & Get A Job by BRATISLAVA: 3:24pm On Mar 21, 2021 |
franchasng:
Honestly I am amazed by this thread.
This Op is a disgrace to men.
He thought he could play the lady, but God pass him. He should ask for forgiveness and go back to Lagos and start his life afresh and this time, be a good man who believe in himself and what God alone can do for him. Don't be amazed. Most men in big cities are driving their mothers, sisters, girlfriends or wives cars. It's easier for them than working. Most are sugar boys. The only ones who are stand alone are related to politicians or are scammers living large. Loads of unproductive men who bring nothing to the table. And they will approach mature women without fear. 1 Like |
| Re: I Resigned From Work In Lagos, Relocated To Abuja To Be With My Girl & Get A Job by preciousmetals: 3:24pm On Mar 21, 2021 |
You need medicine to reset your brain Zzor:
Go learn how to talk to a depressed person or you think we don't know how to scold him?be mindful of what you type as depression is already involved or you simply read and pass.sabi sabi |
| Re: I Resigned From Work In Lagos, Relocated To Abuja To Be With My Girl & Get A Job by gbagyiza: 3:24pm On Mar 21, 2021 |
My thought here is not to insult u but to point out your error n possibly reset your brain for future encounter. Your actions exposed you to not been smart n intelligent. How can you leave your job n relocate to live with a lady you r not married to in quest for a better life. I have been getting job interviews via online application. If you have the required skills, credentials n a well packaged CV you don't need to be roaming the street looking for job, utilize the online job hunting option. You need to quickly arrange for a place n get out of that prison before your life is mess up. |
| Re: I Resigned From Work In Lagos, Relocated To Abuja To Be With My Girl & Get A Job by Allanoba: 3:25pm On Mar 21, 2021 |
Only one cure for depression and poverty 'JESUS'.as you delight yourself in him you see depression go away and wisdom to overcome poverty set in.the lady is just being a woman.before God gave Adam Eve he was already working the garden!!! Delight yourself in the Lord and experience great Joy |
| Re: I Resigned From Work In Lagos, Relocated To Abuja To Be With My Girl & Get A Job by olalat(m): 3:26pm On Mar 21, 2021 |
Switchman:
I actually don't have issues with the house chores as a way to assist her but the bad mouth is really killing me.
Chairman, if you never sell your car, carry am enter road if its a strong car. if its not that strong, find a buyer and get get a hustling car. Give yourself a time line to stay under a woman. By the way, immediately you start making money, her attitude will change. Despite that, still move out. Cheap accommodation dey Nasarawa or Niger state. Consider yourself being in exile for the period. Never say no to any opportunity. Trust me, you will make it. And please respect yourself next time. E get reason why a desperate person enter respiration. I wish you well. |
| Re: I Resigned From Work In Lagos, Relocated To Abuja To Be With My Girl & Get A Job by babadee1(m): 3:26pm On Mar 21, 2021 |
Switchman:
Please I Need Your Candid And Long Term Advise, I Am Presently Depressed And Out
This will be a lengthy one but I promise to summarize it as much as I can.
I met a lady in her late 30s 18months ago through an online friend. I was working in Lagos while she was based and working in Abuja.
We chatted for a while before she volunteered to come to Lagos for a visit over the weekend which doesn't seem a bad idea to me cos I believed seeing in person is better than 1 million pictures.
Due to her age and desperation, we met and she liked what she saw in me and intensive talks began on how I can relocate to Abuja and get better job. I actually haven't been to Abuja so I was excited to take that move with the hope of becoming a better person and getting a better job.
I resigned from my job due to some issues as at that time which could had been managed but so I can have more time to visit and see how things are in Abuja before making my final preparation to relocate. She supports financially during those time while I use my car for ehailing business pending when I will finally relocate.
Covid 19 lock down came and all plans were halted due to restrictions on vehicular movements. Fast forward to November last year I made final plans and I agreed to finally relocate but on the conditions that we will need to get a new apartment cos I don't want to move in with her to her former apartment which was a one room self contain, we got a 1 bedroom apartment and I moved in with her. She owns 90% stake on the expenses incurred but in the spirit of hope for a better job, I will upgrade the apartment to have an equal stake in the home.
It's been 3 months now I have fully relocated and we have been cohabiting but it's been hell for me and I just need help on how to get out of this mess I put myself. No job was forth coming and due to the fact that I am home always, I have been reduced to a house help cos I am the one doing the chores, cleaning the dishes and even my laundry though she pays for her own, so many other insults and atimes it's with exchanges of words before I can take a walk just to acclimatize myself with the terrains of the area.
It's really a bad experience for a man not to have a steady source of income cos in a twinkle of an eye the love will vanish.
I love the lifestyle of Abuja cos it is less stressful than Lagos and I will really like to get a good source of income so I can get my own apartment and be free from the shackles I put myself in the name of love.
I really need help now cos I know my days are numbered and it's a matter of time before she sends me packing cos I really don't have the right to the apartment. Please house, I need your candid advise on what to do and as always constructive criticism is allowed.
Thanks
Switchman
I honestly don't understand what you are complaining about. What did you expect? It's clear from your write up that you were attracted to her because of her money. You honestly thought that she would be willing to support you indefinitely abi? Nah. That can never work with a naija woman. You should not have quit your job and relocated until you found another one in Abuja. The only thing you can do now is to either find another job in Abuja asap or relocate back to Lagos till you can find something else. |
