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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Sharing My Pains (1577 Views)
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Sharing My Pains by ZeddyR: 10:39am On Mar 24, 2021 |
Hi fams. I just want to share this because it might ease my pains. Please go easy on the insults that may follow. It might be a lengthy post 'cause I want to pour out my heart. I'm a 27 years old lady. I met this guy when I was about sixteen. I particularly took note of him unconsciously the first day we met but I waived it aside. I wasn't particularly friendly at this point in my life but somehow we connected and became friends. We both left where we met to different locations yet we kept in touch. I changed sim card severally and he also lost his severally but somehow we still get connected. (One thing about me is that, my mind has a way of helping me to make decisions. If I do contrary to my mind's suggestions, most times I regret it.) While this was on, I had some suitors, but then my mind won't let me marry. Whenever I want to say 'yes' to anyone, it becomes a battle in my mind. Reminding me about the other guy who didn't even ask me out until I turn down the proposal. There's this peace that comes with saying no. Then in 2018, I decided to get into a relationship which is the worst mistake of my life. My mind was against it as usual but I decided to go on because I can't continue waiting for one guy. I told him it was a no sex relationship which he agreed, I became very free with and around him. He later forced himself on me because he said I was behaving as if I'm better than him. It was a very traumatic experience because I've kept myself for so many years. In 2019, my long time friend asked me out. I was very happy because it was what I waited for. Relationship was great, love was real despite the distance and he told me I've been on his mind all these years. But along the line, he started showing some attitudes like not answering his calls( he's always with his phone), not calling for days and when he calls, he talks very casually. I asked him if there's any issue, he said everything was fine. Until the day I called him and he was talking with a girl while my airtime was burning. I asked him where he was, before then, he'll tell me where he was without asking, but his reply that day was why am I asking. I told him to call me back when he's less busy but he didn't. I called him some days later to talk. I told him that if he's no longer interested in the relationship, we should peacefully break up instead of becoming enemies which he agreed to. That's how we broke up without a reason. After some weeks, I asked him for reconciliation and he told me he will get back to me. He didn't, about a month later, he started posting a girl's pictures on WhatsApp and eulogizing her. Sometimes he does this immediately I come online. I was deeply hurt but I accepted or so I thought as part of life. The issue is, I can't forget him totally no matter how much I try. I've prayed, stopped talking to him, had relationships which didn't work out. I don't want him again but I can't forget him. I know I've made stupid decisions in the past but how do I move on from it, is it until he announces his wedding date or when? Help me out please 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Sharing My Pains by Xenry: 10:45am On Mar 24, 2021 |
What an interesting story! ![]() If I'm a girl, I would do only 'no sex before marriage relationship,' because it's less stressful and you won't feel like you lost anything after break-up. Any guy who can go into no sex relationship with you can also go miles with you. But such guys are rare—very very rare. Just block him on your social media accounts, maybe it will help you to forget him easily. I still haven't forgotten what Spending123 said some time ago: If you're not ready for heartbreak, if you're not ready to block and unblock at least three times a day, if you're not ready to cry at least four times a day, please avoid relationship.....A wise is enough for a word, oh sorry, enough is a wise for the word. 1 Like
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Re: Sharing My Pains by Nobody: 10:51am On Mar 24, 2021 |
Na you go help yourself o It's very unhealthy to center your life around one person—which you did for years. You're far better than that. 1 Like |
Re: Sharing My Pains by ZeddyR: 11:00am On Mar 24, 2021 |
Xenry:I didn't sleep with him. He even suggested the no sex relationship because of his christian faith. Thank you, I've blocked him already but... |
Re: Sharing My Pains by adadike(f): 11:15am On Mar 24, 2021 |
My dear, start making new but casual friends. Go out more often. Join a Bible class and go for Bible study. Pray always , put all your trust in Jesus. Speak to him like a friend when you are all alone, tell him your problems. He is the final answer.f trust me, he will send you true friends and help. I was once a fool in love but Jesus saved me. Don't forget to be kind to all and sundry . I love you like my sister and u feel your pains but Jesus loves you most |
Re: Sharing My Pains by Intoboy(m): 11:16am On Mar 24, 2021 |
ZeddyR: las las ur mind scam you. |
Re: Sharing My Pains by blinking001(m): 11:50am On Mar 24, 2021 |
The truth is there's nothing you can do about it OP......they are some people we just can't replace in our lives....not like they're so special or anything but it's just the way you were wired to love them unconditionally....and there is nothing you can do about it but to live with it.....no matter how peaceful and wonderful your present relationship is you'll always think about him......its life....I've got a couple of ladies on my list that's facing same issues because of me......that guy places his happiness and peace of mind before yours...that's the only reason you can't forget him...he's not like the regular guy that's willing to burn in hell for you..lol.. Solution There is nothing you can do about it...you two will still end up together....you'll always find a way to be together again...there is nothing you can do about that......One thing is certain...that guy feels thesame way as you...but there's something about you that's keeping him from totally loving you......may be your character...... 1 Like |
Re: Sharing My Pains by aniplus: 1:40pm On Mar 24, 2021 |
ZeddyR: The same way you feel peace when ending it with others who genuinely care about you, is the same way he's feeling peace as he's ended it with you... That thing you're feeling now, is probably how you also made those others feel. Karma's a bitch, no? 1 Like |
Re: Sharing My Pains by Spending123: 1:45pm On Mar 24, 2021 |
Hahaha I talk am, heartbreak must reach all of you, just calm down and be patient nah turn by turn. My first heartbreak always made me to wake up around 2am(midnight) and shout "Jesus" and then get back to my sleep. For truelly the future is female. 1 Like
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Re: Sharing My Pains by gwininfo(m): 2:20pm On Mar 24, 2021 |
i am in need of friends
09073157229 |
Re: Sharing My Pains by ZeddyR: 4:57pm On Mar 24, 2021 |
aniplus:You don't have to take it personal. How do you know they genuinely cared about me. The most important thing here for me is moving on |
Re: Sharing My Pains by ZeddyR: 4:59pm On Mar 24, 2021 |
Thanks a lot. I just want to heal emotionally. I'm not interested in him again. blinking001: |
Re: Sharing My Pains by DSC7: 5:18pm On Mar 24, 2021 |
What a small world,I never thought you are also a Nairalander.... I still have you in mind dear.... At the right time you will realise how much i love and cherish you... |
Re: Sharing My Pains by Kapeter(m): 5:42pm On Mar 24, 2021 |
Sorry, maybe his dark side can help u. Or delete/block everything about him or rather leave him and let him continue hurting u till u do not get hurt anymore. |
Re: Sharing My Pains by blinking001(m): 5:53pm On Mar 24, 2021 |
DSC7:Gbas Gbos.... |
Re: Sharing My Pains by Michelle55: 6:03pm On Mar 24, 2021 |
Trust me, you will be fine las las. 1 Like |
Re: Sharing My Pains by Nobody: 6:39pm On Mar 24, 2021 |
adadike:OK let me say this you see op truly loves this guy You guys don't know that love is a strong thing . If by chance op's wedding happens to be this coming Saturday. Do you know that if op mistakenly or by chance set her two naked eyes on this guy there's 100% probability that they'll FÛÇK cause of the love and affection she have for him.I'm saying some real huh . 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Sharing My Pains by ZeddyR: 6:59pm On Mar 24, 2021 |
DSC7: ![]() ![]() |
Re: Sharing My Pains by Saintmary(f): 7:38pm On Mar 24, 2021 |
ZeddyR: If you were my sister I'd shake you till you wake up, because you are dreaming. What!!!! At 27, don't you know you're not getting any younger, wasting precious time whining about a guy, are you for real ![]() ![]() News flash!!!!!! You don't love the guy. You're just delusional enough to sustain your infatuation for 11 whole years of your life. Imagine, your mates are spending the same amount of time giving birth to all their children and planning their future you're here claiming love. My dear, life goes on. If it ends with him, go out there and meet up with people, enjoy your life, have fun responsibly, meet marriage minded people and settle down with someone you like. What nonsense Love koor, madness ni. P. S. He will still come back and try to have sex with you. Don't be stupid. 2 Likes |
Re: Sharing My Pains by ZeddyR: 8:39pm On Mar 24, 2021 |
Saintmary:Thanks for your honest opinion. Speaking out helps me in getting over things easily. I've not had sex with him before and I don't intend to do that. |
Re: Sharing My Pains by Saintmary(f): 10:18pm On Mar 24, 2021 |
ZeddyR: My pleasure It's not about your desire, it's about whether you are weak towards his persuasive powers. Lock your gates baby, he ain't worth it. |
Re: Sharing My Pains by KidDarkness(m): 10:36pm On Mar 24, 2021 |
Kpoi, kpoi_ kpoi, kpoi.
I say open the door to your heart make i enter.
Kpoi, kpoi_ kpoi, kpoi.
I say open the door to your heart make i say.
I no fit get you out of my head. 1 Like |
Re: Sharing My Pains by Angelacruz: 11:41pm On Mar 24, 2021 |
With time you will move on...occupy your mind with positive thoughts, get yourself busy, try to work out,block him on every social media platform,block his contact etc....last last, u will be fyn. [img] 1 Like
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Re: Sharing My Pains by Nobody: 12:00am On Mar 25, 2021 |
Spending123:lol baba say heartbreak go reach everybody,say na turn by turn ![]() I remember my previous heartbreak, I'd wake up at midnight and shout "Jesus is Lord"
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Re: Sharing My Pains by Jeremani: 12:48am On Mar 25, 2021 |
fine girl just move on. stop letting any guy use you to catch cruise. love no be by force. anyways thank God for people like us who don't have heart to love again. |
Re: Sharing My Pains by Cholls(m): 9:45am On Mar 25, 2021 |
My brothers don't envy anybody |
Re: Sharing My Pains by DannyD12342(m): 1:03am On Mar 27, 2021 |
Have you tested this formula. Block + delete= Gone. Try it and thank me later 2 Likes |
Re: Sharing My Pains by mrblessed(m): 8:40am On Mar 27, 2021 |
ZeddyR:No, he wasn't taking it personally as you erroneously implied. It is the consequence of your previous misjudgment and naivety that you are batting with at the moment. You have to respect people who are bold enough to tell you the bitter-truth, even though it rankles. My greatest worry in your tale, is that you appeared annoyingly unteachable, even with what you have encountered and the number of years you have lived in this planet. You are the person with the problem. Know this today and liberate yourself. |
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