DNA test should be on the list.

Your wife is the real MVP,

A true man cries in the rain.

dermmy:
Relationship is a transaction for women. No woman in this world will genuinely love you. Never fall blindly in love with a woman. Don't be the good guy.

I leave the rest to Mosdii .

Don't be the good guy, it clear
This one enter my head

Klass99:
Izito, this is not your personal story nah, why copy and paste it as if it is? This same tale has been posted by other users, at least they wrote at the beginning that "shared as seen"! You want to bamboozle us by carrying on as if it's your saga.

@ Sisisioge, this is not a Nigerian tale o! It is Ghanian, when I first saw this tale the currency was in cedis. I don't understand the OP's intentions in changing it from cedi to naira and making it look like this whole story is about him (a Nigerian couple and Nigerian woman in particular)

Dont mind the op. The cedi version is even here on nairaland

She neither trust or respect you.

It doesn't matter if you stay together or not, it is already game over.

I suspect the woman is from Mba5 or it's environ..

For Me, the marriage 'll be on autopilot just like Bubu has placed Nigerians on Autopilot....

hustla:
Simps just full NL recently.

I no get, wetin d guy man wan do pass wetin he do so?

izito I feel so sad reading this, so sorry you went thru such emotional trauma from a naive lady


you did nothing wrong in thinking about your family first but I think where the mistake comes from is taking care of everything in the house, my dear brother even if she's collecting 5k in a month, she has the right to support you if you're not rich as Dangote


how do you want to grow or build your wealth if you keep getting loan and going over board to satisfy a lady all in the name of she's my woman


I was suppose to get my wife a car last year but I pretended as if I was facing some financial challenges when I notice she don't save her money in her account.


lady always abuse sincerity and faithfulness and always loyal to bad men and guys who don't only exploit them but abused them


as for me na the way a lady treat me, na the same way I go treat her, marriage or not

It's men like you that Reno Omokri is referring to.
"Never depend on your wife no matter how rich she is"

https://www.facebook.com/111647580740689/posts/220271233211656/?app=fbl

If this is real...Dear brother pls kindly try to let things go back to normal either in pretence or reality, you should remember she's the one cooking for you...
A lady that can go this far in keeping secrets from you and letting you not know all this, she's capable of poisoning you...
So be wise

Obiriiin

Your wife no do anything now.
She spent money on her family.
Not third party.
If you got broke, I am sure she would have taken more financial responsibility

You just said my mind. If am I the OP, I will leave The marriage. OP have married an evil woman from devilish family.
How can you lied to your husband that you are receiving 55k naira as salaries instead of 400k naira while draining the poor man with no mercy? People dey on this Earth o

extralargehead:
Good move there, don't relent ,if possible take more drastic measures.
Most women should not be trusted,
But be careful of your safety , what you eat or drink, they may attempt to eliminate you.
Keep up the pressure.
God bless you.

This life nor balance

OP who copied who? The Ghanaian version was also on nairaland.....

ednut1:
i no fit jam

if you are a bachelor hope you are not thinking a woman like Sara or Mary . it is out of the present stock you are going to pick from

sweetrace:
Op, you are responsible for your family’s upkeep irrespective of your wife’s earnings. She lied to you about her income because you obviously can’t handle it. We have a number of Nigerian men who will do nothing if they know their wives earn a great deal. These days we have men who are gold diggers. I’m not calling you one. I’m telling you why women now hide their earnings. She did not tell you because she wanted to be treated like a woman: loved and pampered by her husband irrespective of his earnings. She lived the lifestyle you could provide and you’re complaining!

do you know you just spoke like a complete dunce

izito:
Fear woman

Please forgive her please let it go
Don’t mind that guy below you saying you should divorce her. We use to see the start of a disagreement we don’t know where it use to end .
I want you to think of the kids you both have together and use that to forgive her .

Marriage no be by force o. If OP is pretending, this kind of woman will know.

bamo1122:
If this is real...Dear brother pls kindly try to let things go back to normal either in pretence or reality, you should remember she's the one cooking for you...
A lady that can go this far in keeping secrets from you and letting you not know all this, she's capable of poisoning you...
So be wise

izito:
*

In 2016 she told me her salary was #50.000 And then two years later, when she got promoted, I asked about her salary and she said, “Oh these people, don’t mind them. They added only #5000 to my old salary. Because of her meager salary, I’ve taken up so many responsibilities in the house without complaint. I pay for utilities and pay for food. I pay the fees of our two kids, clothe them, and take care of their medical bills. When my wife sends me a grocery list, she adds sanitary pads. She buys dresses and clothes, comes to show them to me, and asks me to pay for them. She started talking about a car when our second child came in. Things weren’t good on my side so I asked her to give me some time. She said, “I’ve saved something. I can add it to what you have so you pay me when your money comes.”

I agreed and took that money from her, topped it up to get her a car. For three months my ears never rest. She would wake up at dawn and ask me to pay what I owed her. I got tired and paid the money when I didn’t have much in my account.

One evening, I turned my laptop on and saw a lot of emails. I checked and it was my wife’s email that had been opened. I asked her, “Did you use my laptop?” She answered, “Yeah I was checking something.” I told her, “Then you didn’t log out.” She answered, “I forgot. Please log out for me.” I was about to log out when something caught my attention. I saw a mail with the subject, “January Payslip.” I opened and started going through. When I saw her gross salary, I was shocked. #400,734? And this girl has been crying poverty?

I went through the details. That night I couldn’t sleep. I was angry. I felt let down. I felt cheated. I felt played. We’ve been married for six good years and my wife earned that much without my knowledge? How much she earned didn’t bother me a lot than what she was using that money for. I decided not to talk immediately but rather do a little bit of investigation.

All my life I’ve held the view that it wasn’t right for anyone to go through their partner’s phone. It’s an invasion of privacy and it breeds mistrust in the relationship but that night, going through her phone was the only way to find out what I was looking for. I started with her best friend. Nothing much was found. Her family had a Whatsapp group. I read the messages there. I got few hints. I went through the chat with her father and that was when I realized my wife had bought a piece of land and had started building. Her father was in charge of the project. He had sent photos of the various stages of the building. At some point, her father said, “Thank you for helping out your brother. He would have been home had it not been you.”

She has only one brother—her senior brother. I went to look for the chat between them. Her senior brother lost his job and was home doing nothing so my wife bought her Hyundai i10 to use for Uber. Every week, her brother rendered an account and they split the money. From all indications, my wife was doing well for herself while she plays poor so she could rely on my salary. Why would she do that? I thought I was being a supportive husband so my wife could be proud of the man she married. When we bought land, it was her name and my name that appeared on the land title. That car I bought for her with a loan from her bears her name. I didn’t mind. I believed what’s hers was also mine. 

The next morning she realized I wasn’t looking well. I was boiling on the inside but looking for a good opportunity to start the conversation. When I calmed down a little, I asked her, “So why would you do that to me?” She asked, “What have I done?” I answered, “You bought land, you never told me. You started building on it, you never told me. When are you going to tell me?” She was shocked. She asked, “Who told you all that?” I said, “Your father did.” She stood quiet for a while. She asked, “Why would my father tell you all that? What were you people talking about” I said, “I don’t know. You can ask him.” 

We left it there. Some minutes later she came to me with her phone: “My father wants to talk to you.” The phone was already on a loudspeaker. His father was clearly angry. He asked, almost shouting, “You said I told you my daughter has a building? Where did I say that and when?” I asked, “Is it not true that my wife has a building project going on that you’re supervising?”  He asked me, “I told you that?” I asked, “Is it true or not?” After the back and forth I told them, “I read your messages last night. I saw the pictures. I read the various budget you had sent to my wife. I read the confirmation of the money receipts that you sent her. You’re a man. Would you be happy if your wife does this to you?” He started fumbling. He started apologizing saying he thought I was aware.”


My wife stood there motionless, didn’t know what to say. When her father hung up, I told her everything I knew, from her salary to the car she bought for her brother. I said, “Yet, even your sanitary pad, I buy them. You think I’m a fool? You’ll use your money to acquire your own properties and live on mine because you’re my wife? I hear. We’ll see.”

Trust was lost. Love was broken. We had to find a new way of living our lives going forward. Her father called me every morning and evening apologizing for everything and sometimes taking up the blame so I didn’t have to blame his daughter. I told him, “The emotional state I’m in right now, it would be hard to think straight or think forgiveness. Just give me space.” Three days later, they were in our house. The father, the mother, and the senior brother. They came to apologize. “Don’t let this break up the beautiful marriage you both have. If nothing at all, consider the kids and be lenient in your judgment.”

I listened to them. My position was still the same. “I need time to clear my mind. Just leave me alone to think.” From last month to this moment that I’m writing this, my wife had changed totally. She doesn’t ask for money but the house is being run smoothly. She has started paying for things she never paid for but that doesn’t move me. She has taught me a very great lesson and I’m taking it seriously. That in everything, I have to look out for myself and my family first. Last she told me, “If you want us to change the names on those properties, we can do so.” Guess whose name is on the property…her father’s name.”

I told her, “You don’t need to change anything. They are yours. You suffered for them so you can decide what you want to do with them.” The land I bought has our names. I’m selling it and take my money back. The car she’s driving has her name. I put a for-sale sticker on it some weeks ago. She agreed she’ll pay for the car. I’ve given her two months to pay up or I sell it and take my money. She’s getting the message and I’m glad. Each one for himself, God for us all. She keeps asking if I’m going to leave her. I keep telling her I won’t but if she wants a divorce, I will gladly give her. I’m not going to leave the marriage. I would give us some time to heal and see what may happen but when it comes to money, I’ve taken the lesson she taught me through her actions. 

*What's your take?*

please forgive her and love her again. She was tricked by her parents into this. Now she has clearly learned her lesson. Her dad and brother are all regretting. Pls forgive her. Give her another chance. Give her the right orientation about what family is. Teach her to put u and the kids first before anybody am sure she will learn this time.

izito:
*

In 2016 she told me her salary was #50.000 And then two years later, when she got promoted, I asked about her salary and she said, “Oh these people, don’t mind them. They added only #5000 to my old salary. Because of her meager salary, I’ve taken up so many responsibilities in the house without complaint. I pay for utilities and pay for food. I pay the fees of our two kids, clothe them, and take care of their medical bills. When my wife sends me a grocery list, she adds sanitary pads. She buys dresses and clothes, comes to show them to me, and asks me to pay for them. She started talking about a car when our second child came in. Things weren’t good on my side so I asked her to give me some time. She said, “I’ve saved something. I can add it to what you have so you pay me when your money comes.”

I agreed and took that money from her, topped it up to get her a car. For three months my ears never rest. She would wake up at dawn and ask me to pay what I owed her. I got tired and paid the money when I didn’t have much in my account.

One evening, I turned my laptop on and saw a lot of emails. I checked and it was my wife’s email that had been opened. I asked her, “Did you use my laptop?” She answered, “Yeah I was checking something.” I told her, “Then you didn’t log out.” She answered, “I forgot. Please log out for me.” I was about to log out when something caught my attention. I saw a mail with the subject, “January Payslip.” I opened and started going through. When I saw her gross salary, I was shocked. #400,734? And this girl has been crying poverty?

I went through the details. That night I couldn’t sleep. I was angry. I felt let down. I felt cheated. I felt played. We’ve been married for six good years and my wife earned that much without my knowledge? How much she earned didn’t bother me a lot than what she was using that money for. I decided not to talk immediately but rather do a little bit of investigation.

All my life I’ve held the view that it wasn’t right for anyone to go through their partner’s phone. It’s an invasion of privacy and it breeds mistrust in the relationship but that night, going through her phone was the only way to find out what I was looking for. I started with her best friend. Nothing much was found. Her family had a Whatsapp group. I read the messages there. I got few hints. I went through the chat with her father and that was when I realized my wife had bought a piece of land and had started building. Her father was in charge of the project. He had sent photos of the various stages of the building. At some point, her father said, “Thank you for helping out your brother. He would have been home had it not been you.”

She has only one brother—her senior brother. I went to look for the chat between them. Her senior brother lost his job and was home doing nothing so my wife bought her Hyundai i10 to use for Uber. Every week, her brother rendered an account and they split the money. From all indications, my wife was doing well for herself while she plays poor so she could rely on my salary. Why would she do that? I thought I was being a supportive husband so my wife could be proud of the man she married. When we bought land, it was her name and my name that appeared on the land title. That car I bought for her with a loan from her bears her name. I didn’t mind. I believed what’s hers was also mine. 

The next morning she realized I wasn’t looking well. I was boiling on the inside but looking for a good opportunity to start the conversation. When I calmed down a little, I asked her, “So why would you do that to me?” She asked, “What have I done?” I answered, “You bought land, you never told me. You started building on it, you never told me. When are you going to tell me?” She was shocked. She asked, “Who told you all that?” I said, “Your father did.” She stood quiet for a while. She asked, “Why would my father tell you all that? What were you people talking about” I said, “I don’t know. You can ask him.” 

We left it there. Some minutes later she came to me with her phone: “My father wants to talk to you.” The phone was already on a loudspeaker. His father was clearly angry. He asked, almost shouting, “You said I told you my daughter has a building? Where did I say that and when?” I asked, “Is it not true that my wife has a building project going on that you’re supervising?”  He asked me, “I told you that?” I asked, “Is it true or not?” After the back and forth I told them, “I read your messages last night. I saw the pictures. I read the various budget you had sent to my wife. I read the confirmation of the money receipts that you sent her. You’re a man. Would you be happy if your wife does this to you?” He started fumbling. He started apologizing saying he thought I was aware.”


My wife stood there motionless, didn’t know what to say. When her father hung up, I told her everything I knew, from her salary to the car she bought for her brother. I said, “Yet, even your sanitary pad, I buy them. You think I’m a fool? You’ll use your money to acquire your own properties and live on mine because you’re my wife? I hear. We’ll see.”

Trust was lost. Love was broken. We had to find a new way of living our lives going forward. Her father called me every morning and evening apologizing for everything and sometimes taking up the blame so I didn’t have to blame his daughter. I told him, “The emotional state I’m in right now, it would be hard to think straight or think forgiveness. Just give me space.” Three days later, they were in our house. The father, the mother, and the senior brother. They came to apologize. “Don’t let this break up the beautiful marriage you both have. If nothing at all, consider the kids and be lenient in your judgment.”

I listened to them. My position was still the same. “I need time to clear my mind. Just leave me alone to think.” From last month to this moment that I’m writing this, my wife had changed totally. She doesn’t ask for money but the house is being run smoothly. She has started paying for things she never paid for but that doesn’t move me. She has taught me a very great lesson and I’m taking it seriously. That in everything, I have to look out for myself and my family first. Last she told me, “If you want us to change the names on those properties, we can do so.” Guess whose name is on the property…her father’s name.”

I told her, “You don’t need to change anything. They are yours. You suffered for them so you can decide what you want to do with them.” The land I bought has our names. I’m selling it and take my money back. The car she’s driving has her name. I put a for-sale sticker on it some weeks ago. She agreed she’ll pay for the car. I’ve given her two months to pay up or I sell it and take my money. She’s getting the message and I’m glad. Each one for himself, God for us all. She keeps asking if I’m going to leave her. I keep telling her I won’t but if she wants a divorce, I will gladly give her. I’m not going to leave the marriage. I would give us some time to heal and see what may happen but when it comes to money, I’ve taken the lesson she taught me through her actions. 

*What's your take?*

I just learnt a new lesson from your heartbreaking write-up. gosh! I almost shed tears reading.


I am boiling. I am married and taking 101% care of my home, my wife's parents (even when they are okay), her siblings, everybody around her.....she has never spent a dime of her money since we got married even though she has a good-paying job....her car I bought, everything....and I have been so proud doing that cos it has always been my dream from the time I started thinking of getting married. But this post just got me angry and wiser, jeez!!


Why are Nigerian women so stingy and wicked towards their men, even their husband


Nigerian women, are you not aware that once you marry, your first family is your husband+kids You aren't even building in the name of your kids to secure their future which won't hurt the hubby that much, but building in the name of your parents and siblings when you haven't built one for your kids Jeez

.

Op I don’t want to read people’s comment before making this suggestion to you. I am married with kids too and from my experiences and that of my friends I can advise you like this
1. Lower your expectations from your wife, understand that she is a human and had weaknesses and can fail you. Also accept that you expected too much from her that is why you are hurting too much

2. Don’t sell the car to her, it sounds immature. Relax your nerves and go on with your marriage as if nothing happened. You have already made your wife to be more careful in the future if she want to do this kind of thing. Learn to understand that she places her family very high in her heart and as such can do anything to make them comfortable

3. Lastly, in your marriage life you already understand that forgiveness is something you can’t do without and carrying grudge is something you cannot do at afterall you still have so many years to live with your wife so for how long can you continue to bear grudges? Forgive her and move on and if it is possible forget about that her salary and fulfill your obligations towards her as a man until she decide to undertake some of them herself.

I wish you strength and a happy family life

Why are all women almost the same?

Daniella God judge you for your selfish nature

Thank God I dodged a bullet by not entangling myself with her for life..

This story just brought out memories I so hate cuz I truly loved a selfish lady..

God why are naija women like this

Klass99:


God bless you! I don't know what they gain by pretending like it is their story and changing the details to give Nigerian women a bad name.

Are Naija women not paying bills in their homes and still hiding the fact that they do so, to avoid bruising oga's ego and avoid being called proud, boss lady, disrespectful and all sorts? I am so upset at the OP's misleading narrative

Can you give me one good reason why you think giving Nigerian women a bad name was the reason he changed some details of the story?

I really wish I could tell my own story too.... but make we leave matters jare.... men get good money before you think of marriage oooo.... God knows my son will not get my blessings bfor marriage if he doesn't convince me enough financially..... Women, Women....hmmm

I am speechless gobsmacked. Your wife and inlaws are selfish sod. Now you see why we have more widows than widowers. Chai tell your family everything i believe they'll send her away let her go and marry her dad. I am going to reply when i gather myself because i this one shock me o

mascot345:
This is really painful.

One of the most painful things in the universe is the feeling of being used- by anyone, esp. your loved ones.

Fear Women!!!!

Forgive her, but divorce her, because such a woman can kill you, tsell all your properties, and jump to the next man in two month. She will also change your kids name to her new man's.