One advantage of being a litigator, a student of psychology and a relationship counsellor (Mediator) is access to premium gist.

While most of these discussions are private and privileged, I can say for sure that it's never a pleasant experience to handle a case of infidelity in marriage.

I have always prided myself as one without emotions in matters like this, as I have seen it all. But the last case I handled saw me shedding hot tears when she finally left my office.

I believe the tears simply itself back because it won't be professional to cry in the presence of a client or join in a crying competition. But I couldn't stand a senior citizen cry like a baby.

Whilst I could feel her pain, I could not help but ask what's it like to have your spouse cheat on you?

It's a terrible experience just take a relationship as example, you will understand the pain and hurts one of the spouse go through when your supposed partner cheats on you. It makes you feel like you're never enough and may never be for the person no matter what you do.
The thoughts of never being enough for him or her is killing, just don't want to think about the heartaches at night.

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Women no get right to complain of cheating.. men are polygamous in nature.

Klass99:
The Litigator, thankfully you didn't write in that annoying legal language that gives me a migraine.

This was clear and direct communication and I also felt your humanity come through in your words, you lawyers need to keep things simple when communicating.

Now, to the topic. Ordinary boyfriend that time I been wan craze I can't even imagine what it's like when it's a spouse. It was a roller coaster of different emotions;

1. Hurt/pain.
2. Anger towards boyfriend.
3. Jealousy towards the other girl.
4. Feeling insecure, like wasn't I okay or good enough in looks, carriage and all for him to cheat......

Until I grew up and matured some more to understand that, it's just the way of you men.

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FORWARDEVERLY:
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Women no get right to complain of cheating.. men are polygamous in nature.

Meaning you will readily cheat on your partner without a second thought. Na wah for you.

Michelle55:
It's a terrible experience just take a relationship as example, you will understand the pain and hurts one of the spouse go through when your supposed partner cheats on you. It makes you feel like you're never enough and may never be for the person no matter what you do.
The thoughts of never being enough for him or her is killing, just don't want to think about the heartaches at night.

Your response, more particularly your last line caught me off guard and got me thinking. How does cheating affect the self esteem of a lady?

Kindly educate my ignorance.

Thanks

litigator:


Meaning you will readily cheat on your partner without a second thought. Na wah for you.

You are free to be faithful to your partner..
As for me, I would have girlfriends apart from my married partner..
I no be the religious type nor the westernized man type.. simple.

litigator:


Your response, more particularly your last line caught me off guard and got me thinking. How does cheating affect the self esteem of a lady?

Kindly educate my ignorance.

Thanks

The lady suffers from the worst kind of betrayal thereby making her uptight and unable to relax and be free anymore, she ends up developing self-esteem and confidence issues. That act alone will automatically make trusting the next person difficult, being cheated on will make you wonder if you're not attractive/good-looking enough for your partner or probably you deserved to be cheated on( its truly not a funny experience certainly not one worthy of recounting).
It will leave you in doubt of your worth and you begin to contemplates if the relationship has been a lie from the onset, when a girl gets cheated on, she oftentimes loses faith in her worth and abilities.
She starts to undervalue her capabilities and as a result, accepts herself as a girl of average or below-average value.
She does this when the man who meant the world to her shows her how little she means to him. He’s the person she trusted with her mind, body, and soul—and his opinion mattered to her the most.
But because he decided to cheat on her regardless of how much his opinion meant to her, the girl takes his cheating personally and experiences the worst pain imaginable, she suffers from betrayal and begins to wonder what she did to deserve it.

I can go on and on in recounting what cheating does to not just the women but also to men who enjoys the sanctity of true relationships/marriage.

While women whose partners cheat on them to feel devalued and lose confidence in themselves and esteem, especially if they consider the person he cheated with less beautiful, educated or younger than them. They develop jealousy and hatred towards the lady their men cheated on (not really their men) and will be more protective of their territory (their men) going forward. They could easily forgive their men if he pledges to cut off from the particular lady and commit to them.

But when cheated on, men feel betrayed, disrespected and ego bruised. It doesn't matter whether the person she cheats on is cuter, richer, more intelligent or famous. A man loses 99.9999% of the love he has for his woman that cheats and never forgive such betrayal nor forget such betrayal.


PS: I'm talking of men that know what being a man is not Simps and weaklings

[s]

TonyeBarcanista:
While women whose partners cheat on them to feel devalued and lose confidence in themselves and esteem, especially if they consider the person he cheated with less beautiful, educated or younger than them. They develop jealousy and hatred towards the lady their men cheated on (not really their men) and will be more protective of their territory (their men) going forward. They could easily forgive their men if he pledges to cut off from the particular lady and commit to them.[/s]

But when cheated on, men feel betrayed, disrespected and ego bruised. It doesn't matter whether the person she cheats on is cuter, richer, more intelligent or famous. A man loses 99.9999% of the love he has for his woman that cheats and never forgive such betrayal nor forget such betrayal.


PS: I'm talking of men that know what being a man is not Simps and weaklings

In relationships, I don't even know what is cheating again, reason being that I don't get a definite relationship. My first three was platonic and Zero financing.
The first one I had in Uni ended as the girl thought I was a weakling or perhaps it was me thinking I was dating myself. Though, I didn't invest much on it cus my playboy cousin always advised me not to be overtly emotional on relationship matters, hence the assumed breakup had zero impact in my wellbeing.

The second was when I became famous in school, swore I wouldn't invest any emotions since my last breakup subtly ended on a good note. I assumed relationships were meant to end even before they start. The said second girlfriend noticed my lackadaisical manner of approach and was unsure to commit. yes she cheated and I wasn't moved.

The third girl was due to my love for intelligent people, I really tried to invest emotion but covid-19 break gave me enough reason not to. Distance was a barrier, though I tried to follow up but damn it looked like she became too busy for me. I came back to square one. Started flirting other girls online and boom I made lots of catch.
In other not to be bad, I tried to know if I was still in relationship with her but she wouldn't give us time. I locked up and assumed she was tired of me.
School resumed and I tried to know our stand in but it seems she's still forming busy. I took it that we have broken up and tried going sexual to know if that's what brings mutual connection.....

its worst when the partner at the receiving end is the emotional type. It's explainable feeling, no matter how well you prepare for it, it still hurt like hell.
May God help us

FORWARDEVERLY:



You are free to be faithful to your partner..
As for me, I would have girlfriends apart from my married partner..
I no be the religious type nor the westernized man type.. simple.

Your matter need serious village meeting. We need call the elders for you

Permit my asking, how many wives did your father marry?

litigator:


Your matter need serious village meeting. We need call the elders for you

Permit my asking, how many wives did your father marry?

Lol..
Funny enough my Dad was a devout christian, married and wedded my mom.. and we are just four children both of them gave birth to..
My Gee, many Africans are raised not to question the status quo they met in the society, so I am not surprised at your own surprise on my choice and opinion, as for me.. I can't tie myself down with only one woman.. I must have girlfriends outside (preferably younger and fresher ones) anyday she tries to even think of having another man, I drive her out of my home and life..
I am a traditionally reserved man not a westernized effeminate fellow..
Cheers..

FORWARDEVERLY:



Lol..
Funny enough my Dad was a devout christian, married and wedded my mom.. and we are just four children both of them gave birth to..
My Gee, many Africans are raised not to question the status quo they met in the society, so I am not surprised at your own surprise on my choice and opinion, as for me.. I can't tie myself down with only one woman.. I must have girlfriends outside (preferably younger and fresher ones) anyday she tries to even think of having another man, I drive her out of my home and life..
I am a traditionally reserved man not a westernized effeminate fellow..
Cheers..

You remind me of my father-in-law. Same thought pattern and beliefs.

We were so close he would freely discuss his views about women with me. He didn't mind I was dating his favourite daughter and might end up marrying her.

Some men nor get joy.

I have never been cheated on, thankfully.

Even if I have been, what you don't know cannot kee/bother you

FORWARDEVERLY:



Lol..
Funny enough my Dad was a devout christian, married and wedded my mom.. and we are just four children both of them gave birth to..
My Gee, many Africans are raised not to question the status quo they met in the society, so I am not surprised at your own surprise on my choice and opinion, as for me.. I can't tie myself down with only one woman.. I must have girlfriends outside (preferably younger and fresher ones) anyday she tries to even think of having another man, I drive her out of my home and life..
I am a traditionally reserved man not a westernized effeminate fellow..
Cheers..

Hian. Negodu nonsense

litigator:


Your response, more particularly your last line caught me off guard and got me thinking. How does cheating affect the self esteem of a lady?

Kindly educate my ignorance.

Thanks

You feel like 'what does she have that I don't have? '

You wonder what is so special about the other lady that made your partner cheat? Someone like me will likely do a doctoral research on the other woman before concluding if my self esteem should be affected

Michelle55:


The lady suffers from the worst kind of betrayal thereby making her uptight and unable to relax and be free anymore, she ends up developing self-esteem and confidence issues. That act alone will automatically make trusting the next person difficult, being cheated on will make you wonder if you're not attractive/good-looking enough for your partner or probably you deserved to be cheated on( its truly not a funny experience certainly not one worthy of recounting).
It will leave you in doubt of your worth and you begin to contemplates if the relationship has been a lie from the onset, when a girl gets cheated on, she oftentimes loses faith in her worth and abilities.
She starts to undervalue her capabilities and as a result, accepts herself as a girl of average or below-average value.
She does this when the man who meant the world to her shows her how little she means to him. He’s the person she trusted with her mind, body, and soul—and his opinion mattered to her the most.
But because he decided to cheat on her regardless of how much his opinion meant to her, the girl takes his cheating personally and experiences the worst pain imaginable, she suffers from betrayal and begins to wonder what she did to deserve it.

I can go on and on in recounting what cheating does to not just the women but also to men who enjoys the sanctity of true relationships/marriage.

Perhaps I'm wired differently but I disagree with some of your views

Ishilove:

You feel like 'what does she have that I don't have? '

You wonder what is so special about the other lady that made your partner cheat? Someone like me will likely do a doctoral research on the other woman before concluding if my self esteem should be affected

Can a woman really satisfy a man?

Men are insatiable and women are quite complex to understand.
But I am tempted to believe that if encourage parties to level up in communication skills, men will cheat less. Do you agree?

E day pain no be small

Forget spouse,let's talk about BF/GF relationship.
Fine the last relationship I just got out from was a really tough one. When I say tough one it was so bad. So this girl was a complete cheat, I caught her severally cheating on me. There was a day I went through a WhatsAp, I saw a chat with a particular Guy in one she's been making out with she even did pregnancy test for this guy. That particular chart drove me nuts. I was very angry and I even confronted her but she denied it and told me everything was staged. Now my question is if everything was staged how would a guy be asking you if you enjoyed the last sex you both had. She is a prolific liar I hate her with passion now. how can I catch you cheating and you still went out saying I did not trust you..

Cheating in a marriage or relationship is just too bad

Cheaters or cheating women to be precise. A little advice for you. If you happen to cheat on you husband or partner and he discovers it, do not go and start pleading to his friends and family to beg him. The last thing that man needs at that time is for the whole world to know that another man has been firing his woman. Very embarrassing and just adds salt to injury. It also leaves him no option but to end the relationship or marriage because everybody now knows. Other men will also know that you may be "up for it" and will start trying their luck on you too.

Most Nigerian women should be able to answer this question

Jsj

litigator:
One advantage of being a litigator, a student of psychology and a relationship counsellor (Mediator) is access to premium gist.

While most of these discussions are private and privileged, I can say for sure that it's never a pleasant experience to handle a case of infidelity in marriage.

I have always prided myself as one without emotions in matters like this, as I have seen it all. But the last case I handled saw me shedding hot tears when she finally left my office.

I believe the tears simply itself back because it won't be professional to cry in the presence of a client or join in a crying competition. But I couldn't stand a senior citizen cry like a baby.

Whilst I could feel her pain, I could not help but ask what's it like to have your spouse cheat on you?

Tell us about that senior citizen's story. Let's see if we'll cry, too.

It has never happened and may it never happen to me.
It is one thing that I can never forgive and forget.
I will always remember it and see the person as a freaking betrayer.

Hmm...refreshing read.