My neighbors always wake up every morning to discuss how rat entered thier room but whenever they ask me whether rat entered my room I always tell them NO

The painful thing be say one silly woman known as Mama ngozi will reply me ...." Brother Nonso you lucky say nothing dey your house wey rat fit steal o unlike us wey plenty food dey"..

I will just nod my head and smile back in shame ,imagine talk !!!!...

Although that was the sad truth ,even garri sef I no get for house and it is 6months now since I cooked in my room but who ask her ??.. silly woman

But it looks as if in that my compound if rat no enter your room then you're a nobody and everyone is in competition of who rat enter him room and Wetin rat chop .

So in a desperate bid to let rats enter my room so I can atleast have something to say I started leaving my door open every night but still yet rat no gree enter ,sometimes sef I'll leave biscuits on the floor in my room with my doors wildly open ,but nothing will happen to the biscuits..

That was when I realized that even Rat sef dey pity my poverty .

Infact the matter got so bad that people in my compound wanted to start keeping pot of soup In my room , because according to them ,rats no go ever think say food fit dey my room .

I find it as an insult so I always refused to help them

Even the dog in our compound always bark at me , I have been in this house for almost 3 years now and up till now this useless Dog still barks and yet will shake his tail whenever he sees other tenants.,to make matters worse the dog always choose the front of my door to poo

I have complained severally and warned the owner that I'll kill the Dog but little or nothing was done .
.
But why be say na my own door this useless Dog choose to shit just imagine the disrespect for Christ sakes ..

Whenever I'm taking my bath is the worst scenario ,these useless rats that refuse to enter my room will wait for me to UnCloth before they rush inside the bathroom and climbed my legs ,out of shock and fear I will rush out of the bathroom with soap in my eyes stark naked ..

Chai na wa o.....the embarrassment was just too much ,
Everybody in the compound knows the size of my johnbull infact something tells me this rats do it intentionally to piss me off .


The worst is the cockroaches in my room ,they land on my head anyhow expecially when am sleeping , Infact that was one of the reasons amaka stopped coming to my house ,we go dey nack and enjoy ourselves and out of no where cockroach will jump on her head ,. And the babe hate cockroach no be small , The day she jumped out naked out of fear and my compound people saw her ,she has refused to come again but do I blame her ??.. ofcourse No


Another problem I get be say with my condition I still dey dream bad dreams,.

While others dream good dreams like having sex in the dream or eating food...my own dream no dey pass to dey cut grass for dream... Infact I cut grass reach one level that I woke up with swollen hands and heavy back pain..I couldn't walk for almost 1 week..

Some of you will say why not pray and fast ...well I tried fasting too
There was this time I decided to go on a 7 days fasting ,I always break my fast when it is 6pm in the evening..

On the 3rd day ,

There is truth in it ooh

Boring

Lol

Please go for standup comedy.

This your condition bend o

But just continue with your story,e easy small for you as you still get your own room to stay

Believe this story at your peril

Guy, ur name MA job...?

..

I don read ur different threads tire bro u good pass basket mouth et al o. u go make am as comedian o. This post make me laf sote my bele wan burst

You suppose look beyond the insult and allow your neighbors dey keep their soup for your room nah, make you dey see food chop small.
Even if na N50 swallow with one small scoop of soup every night,e no go dey bad.

lolz, you're genius!! keep it up sir

This is the second thread so far this year that has made me laugh away my boredom.

First was the thread about A dog owner complaining of reports that his/her dog refused to eat because they (dog owners) travelled.
It turned out to be a Kekuke dog.
Nairalanders gat no chill with comments.

Rhodaogunpeju:
Believe this story at your peril

Everyone knows its fiction, madam.

Ride on

On the 3rd day around 11: 50 am in the morning, I was singing praise and worship and praying when Chukwudi one of my neighbors Son knocked on my door .
I opened it and saw him carrying some food in his hands

"Brother Nonso today is my sister birthday so mama say make I bring you this food ".

" Ah thank your mama for me ,wow am honored ". ... I replied.

Immediately he left I opened the food and saw big chicken with Jollof rice and chilled pepsi beside it ..chai just 2 days of fasting and God don already answer my prayers .

.But I still dey fast o ..if I say make this food wait till evening now make I use am break e go don cold and the pepsi go don warm plus my friend fit go show up now and him no go comot until him chop the rice too..

After thinking and thinking I went down on my knees and begged God to forgive me ,I promised him I will continue the fasting tomorrow..

I stood up nd quickly get my spoon and prepared to devour the delicious rice before me but immediately I carry one spoon of rice enter my mouth I hear another knock ..

"who is that now '.....I replied angrily

I opened my door and saw mama Chukwudi ...

"Arh mama it's you I was just about to start eating the food you gave me sef ,thank you but hope no problem? "..

Err problem dey o Nonso abeg no vex no be you I wan give the food , na another person get the food , Na my son do mistake abeg just take this biscuit help me manage am cos food don finish "... Mama Chukwudi replied and handed me 2 coaster biscuits..

I couldn't believe my ears ,shey this people dey whine me ?? Abi which kind rough play be this .
just imagine giving a whole big boy like me 2 coaster biscuits I resemble pikin ..

I stood in total shock and watch as mama Chukwudi entered my room and pack the remaining food .

I realized it wasn't a joke , so I provoke

"Come mama Chukwudi abi Wetin be your name shey u dey whine me ni ??.. I swear you no fit carry this food comot "...I told her

" Help o !! ,Help o !... I don die ooo. , Nonso don kill me o "...

This woman started screaming trying to cause a scene so I had no choice than to let her go.


That was it I was fed up and decided I will kill myself and nothing will stop me , the disrespect is just too much .

I decided to go to a bridge and jump lucky for me there was a bridge close by . I got dressed and proceeded to the bridge. On getting there I saw another guy who was also trying to kill himself by jumping ,..

Immediately he saw me he told me " Bros abeg no save me abeg let me die '....

" Save you kwa ,me sef I came to jump and kill myself oo so no worry just jump "... I replied..

Hearing this the guy turned to me and asked " No vex o but why you wan kill yourself ".....

At first I didn't want to reply but then since we're both going to for soon why not just open up So I told him how animals and people disrespect me and how life had been tough after telling him my story I asked him "So why do u want to kill yourself too ?"...

The guy then went on to tell me that he has a house in lekki Nd 3 cars in his compound ,but this afternoon he caught his girlfriend with another man in a hotel that is why he wants to kill himself "...

Immediately I heard the last part I did not know when I gave him a hot slap that almost fell him off the bridge..

"You dey mad ,so because of woman you want to kill yourself"......I replied him .

" Arh brother pls let me die ,I love the babe so much , I can't stand seeing her with another man pls let me just die ".. he replied

Saying this the guy

I can't stop laughing i swear, the last post cracked my ribs, abeg go do stand up comedy bro

ThiagoKid:

Everyone knows its fiction, madam.

oh my bad then .. lol

Two coaster biscuits? Bro you're like Sane(Leroy), you're truly insane

RealGboy:
On the 3rd day around 11: 50 am in the morning, I was singing praise and worship and praying when Chukwudi one of my neighbors Son knocked on my door .
I opened it and saw him carrying some food in his hands

"Brother Nonso today is my sister birthday so mama say make I bring you this food ".

" Ah thank your mama for me ,wow am honored ". ... I replied.

Immediately he left I opened the food and saw big chicken with Jollof rice and chilled pepsi beside it ..chai just 2 days of fasting and God don already answer my prayers .

.But I still dey fast o ..if I say make this food wait till evening now make I use am break e go don cold and the pepsi go don warm plus my friend fit go show up now and him no go comot until him chop the rice too..

After thinking and thinking I went down on my knees and begged God to forgive me ,I promised him I will continue the fasting tomorrow..

I stood up nd quickly get my spoon and prepared to devour the delicious rice before me but immediately I carry one spoon of rice enter my mouth I hear another knock ..

"who is that now '.....I replied angrily

I opened my door and saw mama Chukwudi ...

"Arh mama it's you I was just about to start eating the food you gave me sef ,thank you but hope no problem? "..

Err problem dey o Nonso abeg no vex no be you I wan give the food , na another person get the food , Na my son do mistake abeg just take this biscuit help me manage am cos food don finish "... Mama Chukwudi replied and handed me 2 coaster biscuits..

I couldn't believe my ears ,shey this people dey whine me ?? Abi which kind rough play be this .
just imagine giving a whole big boy like me 2 coaster biscuits I resemble pikin ..

I stood in total shock and watch as mama Chukwudi entered my room and pack the remaining food .

I realized it wasn't a joke , so I provoke

"Come mama Chukwudi abi Wetin be your name shey u dey whine me ni ??.. I swear you no fit carry this food comot "...I told her

" Help o !! ,Help o !... I don die ooo. , Nonso don kill me o "...

This woman started screaming trying to cause a scene so I had no choice than to let her go.


That was it I was fed up and decided I will kill myself and nothing will stop me , the disrespect is just too much .

I decided to go to a bridge and jump lucky for me there was a bridge close by . I got dressed and proceeded to the bridge. On getting there I saw another guy who was also trying to kill himself by jumping ,..

Immediately he saw me he told me " Bros abeg no save me abeg let me die '....

" Save you kwa ,me sef I came to jump and kill myself oo so no worry just jump "... I replied..

Hearing this the guy turned to me and asked " No vex o but why you wan kill yourself ".....

At first I didn't want to reply but then since we're both going to for soon why not just open up So I told him how animals and people disrespect me and how life had been tough after telling him my story I asked him "So why do u want to kill yourself too ?"...

The guy then went on to tell me that he has a house in lekki Nd 3 cars in his compound ,but this afternoon he caught his girlfriend with another man in a hotel that is why he wants to kill himself "...

Immediately I heard the last part I did not know when I gave him a hot slap that almost fell him off the bridge..

"You dey mad ,so because of woman you want to kill yourself"......I replied him .

" Arh brother pls let me die ,I love the babe so much , I can't stand seeing her with another man pls let me just die ".. he replied

Saying this the guy

As you slap this potential suicide guy so, him no vex for you as that slap fit push am off the bridge kill am ? and him no go fit commit the suicide as you push am.
I

OP Kwantinue your Tori

And the award for fast rising Comedian of the year goes to op

I have been following this werey op since, all his thread go make u laugh until u fall for grand

RealGboy:
My neighbors always wake up every morning to discuss how rat entered thier room but whenever they ask me whether rat entered my room I always tell them NO

The painful thing be say one silly woman known as Mama ngozi will reply me ...." Brother Nonso you lucky say nothing dey your house wey rat fit steal o unlike us wey plenty food dey"..

I will just nod my head and smile back in shame ,imagine talk !!!!...

Although that was the sad truth ,even garri sef I no get for house and it is 6months now since I cooked in my room but who ask her ??.. silly woman

But it looks as if in that my compound if rat no enter your room then you're a nobody and everyone is in competition of who rat enter him room and Wetin rat chop .

So in a desperate bid to let rats enter my room so I can atleast have something to say I started leaving my door open every night but still yet rat no gree enter ,sometimes sef I'll leave biscuits on the floor in my room with my doors wildly open ,but nothing will happen to the biscuits..

That was when I realized that even Rat sef dey pity my poverty .

Infact the matter got so bad that people in my compound wanted to start keeping pot of soup In my room , because according to them ,rats no go ever think say food fit dey my room .

I find it as an insult so I always refused to help them

Even the dog in our compound always bark at me , I have been in this house for almost 3 years now and up till now this useless Dog still barks and yet will shake his tail whenever he sees other tenants.,to make matters worse the dog always choose the front of my door to poo

I have complained severally and warned the owner that I'll kill the Dog but little or nothing was done .
.
But why be say na my own door this useless Dog choose to shit just imagine the disrespect for Christ sakes ..

Whenever I'm taking my bath is the worst scenario ,these useless rats that refuse to enter my room will wait for me to UnCloth before they rush inside the bathroom and climbed my legs ,out of shock and fear I will rush out of the bathroom with soap in my eyes stark naked ..

Chai na wa o.....the embarrassment was just too much ,
Everybody in the compound knows the size of my johnbull infact something tells me this rats do it intentionally to piss me off .


The worst is the cockroaches in my room ,they land on my head anyhow expecially when am sleeping , Infact that was one of the reasons amaka stopped coming to my house ,we go dey nack and enjoy ourselves and out of no where cockroach will jump on her head ,. And the babe hate cockroach no be small , The day she jumped out naked out of fear and my compound people saw her ,she has refused to come again but do I blame her ??.. ofcourse No


Another problem I get be say with my condition I still dey dream bad dreams,.

While others dream good dreams like having sex in the dream or eating food...my own dream no dey pass to dey cut grass for dream... Infact I cut grass reach one level that I woke up with swollen hands and heavy back pain..I couldn't walk for almost 1 week..

Some of you will say why not pray and fast ...well I tried fasting too
There was this time I decided to go on a 7 days fasting ,I always break my fast when it is 6pm in the evening..

On the 3rd day ,

fantabulous

this is so boring i stop reading before half way