ImaIma1:


Well...i can dispute your truism. A lady that married as a "non virgin" knows what sex is with more than one person and exploration doesn't really move her. But what would you say about a virgin that may want to explore and see what other men are like.

Remember, once she's deflowered on the first night, she has already started sexual activity and is no longet a virgin.

I know someone who was married as a virgin but ended up going back to her ex of 2yrs who never had sex with and finally gave it to him.

If God was so unmerciful toward non virgins, why would he give them children while the ones who married as virgins are still childless. Everything is by God's grace not merit. God doesn't see the way we see with our carnal eyes. That's why he is GOD.

ImaIma1:


Well...i can dispute your truism. A lady that married as a "non virgin" knows what sex is with more than one person and exploration doesn't really move her. But what would you say about a virgin that may want to explore and see what other men are like.

Remember, once she's deflowered on the first night, she has already started sexual activity and is no longet a virgin.

I know someone who was married as a virgin but ended up going back to her ex of 2yrs who never had sex with and finally gave it to him.

If God was so unmerciful toward non virgins, why would he give them children while the ones who married as virgins are still childless. Everything is by God's grace not merit. God doesn't see the way we see with our carnal eyes. That's why he is GOD.

efficiencie:


You highlight individual cases by I am highlighting a likely statistical regularity. I am not disputing the existence of exceptions to the rule like the case you mentioned but I am saying that behaviors don't switch off and on like you seem to suggest. Habit formation is a fundamental determinant of behaviour (several theories in Psycology and Economics prove this). This implies that you can reasonably find a large proportion of people repeating behaviors that they engaged in in their past because such behaviors have morphed into habits. The very act of having multiple sex partners continuously over a period of time could render one conditioned to keep having multiple sex partners. This is why very nice, well mannered ladies still fall for infidelity...they fall not necessarily because they are wicked, rather they fall because they have been conditioned by years and years of moving from man to man. This same dynamic applies to men. You can never make a man that is used to moving from one woman to the next loyal to you. If you like be the best cook, have the sweetest physique, be extremely well mannered and be a well rounded wife he will still cheat because cheating has become a habit that he has to keep feeding...there is no on and off switch in our brains for certain behaviors and this is why virgins have an advantage over hoes. I am not saying all women who married as virgins are better than all other women with regards to fidelity rather I am saying most of the women who marry as virgins have a less likelihood of falling for infidelity than the women who have lived a very sexually loose lifestyle before marriage!

Yes, God's mercy applies to us all but God's mercy does not always undo all the consequences of sin. God had mercy of Peter but it doesn't change the fact that for generations Peter's record of denial is available for all to see. I'm sure Peter would wish he could tear out that part of the Bible where he denied Christ. What about David the man after God's heart. God had mercy on David, yes, but God's mercy did not bring back Uriah from the dead, the man that David killed and whose wife David stole. There is always a consequence to bear as far as sin is concerned. A lady that loses her virginity cannot regain it because she became born again. Yes God has mercy on us but sin leaves an indelible scar on our lives and that is why we must advocate for men and women to repent from sexual sin.

ImaIma1:


Sexual sin is not the only sin people face consequences for. So you can see a virgin committing sins that grieves the Holy Spirit too. Sex is not the only sin.

And, the non virgins you mentioned probably dated different people and were faithful to each one of them while in the relationship. It doesn't mean they were sleeping with multiple men at a time.

So she also has also cultivated the habit of being faithful to one person. And it could be that she was unlucky with her choice of men.

On the contrary, a man that has had multiple partners in the past can get married and drop the habit because he has seen it all. While a man who married as a virgin, will easily fall into temptation when faced with a very tempting one.

I am not an advocate for premarital sex, having multiple partners, etc. I am just someone that has seen both sides that has formed my opinion. I am also someone who sees reason before judgement, just like Christ.

efficiencie:


Unfortunately judgment is anchored on reason. Judgment is predicated on cause and effect. Justice demands that you cannot eat your cake and still have it. There are several contexts where men and women fall for infidelity and guess what Jesus also recognizes this. The mere fact that He had to die as an atonement for the sins of men is enough to show that sin has consequences that can't be waived and you know the same calm and gentle Jesus that dies on the cross is the same Jesus that will ride on a horse as a warrior to slaughter the armies of men that will gather against Him at the battle of Meggido...it is the same Jesus that will sit on the White throne and judge the nations and this same Jesus will send some to eternal damnation and others to eternal bliss...Justice, like mercy, is also one of the weightier matters of the law and while I believe there is hope for everyone that has fallen I also believe that if many considered the consequence of falling they would be more wary of falling. If we had not trivialized virginity more ladies would be wary about losing it wrongly and fewer ladies would have had to contend with the temptation to fall but because we have trivialized it so greatly it has become one of the root causes of the alarming divorces rates today. Now we have young men saying they don't see the value of virginity and virgins themselves are scared of their virginity because of the extent to which virginity has been demonized...I have also seen and heard a lot of marital crashes to know that every divorce is based on or connected directly or indirectly to an event or behavior that started in the past and in many cases it is sexually related.

ImaIma1:


Sexual sin is not the only sin people face consequences for. So you can see a virgin committing sins that grieves the Holy Spirit too. Sex is not the only sin.

And, the non virgins you mentioned probably dated different people and were faithful to each one of them while in the relationship. It doesn't mean they were sleeping with multiple men at a time.

So she also has also cultivated the habit of being faithful to one person. And it could be that she was unlucky with her choice of men.

On the contrary, a man that has had multiple partners in the past can get married and drop the habit because he has seen it all. While a man who married as a virgin, will easily fall into temptation when faced with a very tempting one.

I am not an advocate for premarital sex, having multiple partners, etc. I am just someone that has seen both sides that has formed my opinion. I am also someone who sees reason before judgement, just like Christ.

iupac120:
[/b][b]



Please there is nothing like faithfulness to one's sexual partner as a Christian. Once you are not faithful to the Faith you profess, then you're not faithful.
If a man/lady is not faithful before marriage (keeping his/her body chaste) how would you expect him/her to be faithful after marriage. Luke 16vs 10.
I might be wrong but your statements are portraying the opposite of Christian virtues as you claim to be one. You lower the standard of God's word.

PrinxArthur1:
majority of the time, virginity and low body count, increases successful marriage

KnightsTemplar:


Lol story. All these omini knowest nairaland marriage consultant s sef.

Chummynoni:
virgins have categories. there are some that are only virgins thru their p**sy but their ass*s have been broaden by different poles. there are some that both holes are still sealed but their mouths have sung with different mic. if you meet a real/undefiled virgin like us, your mind wud always be@ peace no matter where you are. it is always soothing when you think about the fact that you are d first man to ever kiss your woman /do romantic stuffs with her.

A real virgin is a shy woman, and a shy woman wont allow anoda man see her naked except on rare occasions. i talked based on my experience .#peace

ThePlainTruth:
In response to the post  below I have decided to conduct a research to see how many married men agree with it. Please share your honest experience. GOD Bless.

efficiencie:


You were literally waiting for this moment, lol...The event I mentioned happened in the first few weeks of me knowing her and I did not have intercourse with the said lady...rather I flirted with her and I called myself out on that. As far as I am concerned flirting is cheating. In the end, I am not saying I am a saint and I deserve a virgin. I, in my previous posts, said even men who have had extensive sexual damage from their past also need healing. I knew this and was deliberate about breaking off from my past and healing all the damage I did to myself...and it paid off because since I started with my wife I have never had intercourse with another woman (particularly my EXs) even though we were in a long distance relationship 70% of the time. I have heard men say they cannot have a long distance relationship with their girlfriend or wife because they are very sure she will cheat but in my case after leaving my woman in one state to further my studies and look for job in another state (more than 800km away), I still returned to her, after spending several months, to find her intact... it was such a great honor to have such a woman.

I do not deserve her but I realize the importance of marrying a virgin for the sake of a sustainable marriage and avoiding stories that end in suicide...this is why I say again ladies should stop spreading their legs before marriage, they should remember that what they call fun leads to sexual damage and a sexually damaged person can only bring sorrow and pain even though they don't mean to. If more ladies closed their legs, fewer men will find the opportunity to cheat but today many men are so confident that with a slice of pizza and a glass of juice he can get almost any lady to spread her legs up to 180 degrees and allow him vaccinate her until her body starts to drip with vaccine...

efficiencie:


You highlight individual cases by I am highlighting a likely statistical regularity. I am not disputing the existence of exceptions to the rule like the case you mentioned but I am saying that behaviors don't switch off and on like you seem to suggest. Habit formation is a fundamental determinant of behaviour (several theories in Psychology and Economics prove this). This implies that you can reasonably find a large proportion of people repeating behaviors that they engaged in in their past because such behaviors have morphed into habits. The very act of having multiple sex partners continuously over a period of time could render one conditioned to keep having multiple sex partners. This is why very nice, well mannered ladies still fall for infidelity...they fall not necessarily because they are wicked, rather they fall because they have been conditioned by years and years of moving from man to man. This same dynamic applies to men. You can never make a man that is used to moving from one woman to the next loyal to you. If you like be the best cook, have the sweetest physique, be extremely well mannered and be a well rounded wife he will still cheat because cheating has become a habit that he has to keep feeding...there is no on and off switch in our brains for certain behaviors and this is why virgins have an advantage over hoes. I am not saying all women who married as virgins are better than all other women with regards to fidelity rather I am saying most of the women who marry as virgins have a less likelihood of falling for infidelity than the women who have lived a very sexually loose lifestyle before marriage!

Yes, God's mercy applies to us all but God's mercy does not always undo all the consequences of sin. God had mercy of Peter but it doesn't change the fact that for generations Peter's record of denial is available for all to see. I'm sure Peter would wish he could tear out that part of the Bible where he denied Christ. What about David the man after God's heart. God had mercy on David, yes, but God's mercy did not bring back Uriah from the dead, the man that David killed and whose wife David stole. There is always a consequence to bear as far as sin is concerned. A lady that loses her virginity cannot regain it because she became born again. Yes God has mercy on us but sin leaves an indelible scar on our lives and that is why we must advocate for men and women to repent from sexual sin.

ImaIma1:


Sin...not just sexual sin. There are more sins greater than sexual sins (losing virginity)...pride, greed, envy, etc.

I doubt very much that virginity is being treated with levity or demonized. In fact, many.ladies still carry it with pride. I have a friend who got married in her 30s as a virgin.

Unfortunately, your assertion about not being a virgin being the root cause of divorces is erroneous. Go research more and especially with cases around you. Even a "virgin" married" personal friend lost her husband to a single mum. Another I know is having a good marriage.

There are greater demons to fight in marriage than if the lady was or wasn't a virgin. If a lady has a bad character, is disrespectful, rude, secretive, etc, even if her virginity lasted for a month in the marriage, that marriage will be troubled.

But some guys want to hinge the success of a marriage on virginity as if it covers all flaws and inadequacies. A close relative of mine told me how since his wife got pregnant, he hasn't been allowed to sleep with her. Nothing he hasn't said to her but she said no. He said he is frustrated, that he is at the verge of cheating. It's been a whole 7months.

And he said something that struck me. He said he wishes he had married a regular Lagos babe who understands some things. I told him to be patient that it will get better.(the one he married was a naive one from his town)

Virginity is awesome but it's not what makes a marriage work.

ImaIma1:


Sexual sin is not the only sin people face consequences for. So you can see a virgin committing sins that grieves the Holy Spirit too. Sex is not the only sin.

And, the non virgins you mentioned probably dated different people and were faithful to each one of them while in the relationship. It doesn't mean they were sleeping with multiple men at a time.

So she also has also cultivated the habit of being faithful to one person. And it could be that she was unlucky with her choice of men.

On the contrary, a man that has had multiple partners in the past can get married and drop the habit because he has seen it all. While a man who married as a virgin, will easily fall into temptation when faced with a very tempting one.

I am not an advocate for premarital sex, having multiple partners, etc. I am just someone that has seen both sides that has formed my opinion. I am also someone who sees reason before judgement, just like Christ.

Konquest:

Your 2nd to 4th paragraphs
made sense. Paragraph 2 jumped
right at me!

But then females who have
pre-marital sex in so-called
committed relationships that
end NOT leading to marriage,
still have emotional connections
with their male exes.

An eloquent female NL user
(who has now chosen to be
more religious) has made
occasional posts on here about her
previous pre-marital sex in 2
committed relationships starting
from her uni days, wrote about
her fondness for both and hinted
about a desire to still have sex
with either of them.

What I'm driving at is that once
a young lady has pre-marital sex even in MULTIPLE committed
relationships that do not lead
to marriage, she would develop
emotional attachments to all
the men especially if the sex
was good. This is what is
responsible for some females
falling back into the arms of
their male exes because of
the sex-induced emotional
attraction.


All the best.

amtheone:

Bros forget it.