*Copied*

A married woman will go to her parent's home with her husband for a short visit, after exchanging pleasantries, everyone will start running around to make sure their son in-law is comfortable.

He will be well fed, well entertained and well taken care of.

No one expects him to lift a finger to do anything, because he is a special guest, their daughter's husband.

​Turn the table​...��

A married man goes to his parent's home with his wife for a short visit, immediately after exchanging pleasantries, everyone will start looking at their son's wife with corner eye to see if she'll go to the kitchen and join in cooking.���

She will sometimes be expected to take over the cooking and serve everyone, with a broad smile on her face.

After meal, they will be watching her to see if she will clear the table, wash the plates and clean the kitchen.

No one gives her any special treatment like the special guest she is.

Afterall who is she?

An ordinary married woman!

If she doesn't do any of the chores expected of her, her in-law will start 'beefing' her and may become hostile towards her.

Her sisters in-law will start grumbling and sometimes become outright rude to her.

She will be called for a meeting, her home training will be questioned and her wife material length measured.���

She will be berated, called lazy, mannerless and all sorts of derogatory names.

Her husband will even be chastised for not controlling and disciplining his wife enough.

She may most likely leave her in-law's home sad, physically and emotionally drained.

What was meant to be a short vacation or visit eventually turns out to be hard labour filled with misery, tears and regrets.

My annoyance is that it's always women making life uncomfortable and miserable for their fellow women in cases like this.

It's always women putting unnecessary pressure on their fellow women.

It's always women who are the gatekeepers of patriarchy.

.....Can't a woman visit her in-laws and be treated special for the few hours or days she will stay, just like we do to our sons in-law when they visit us?

Get me right o��, I'm not saying that she should relax and be sleeping.....NO...... But let it not look like she's trying to prove a point.

Allow her do it, because it's naturally in her and not because you want her to. A disciplined woman knows what to do, how to do it and when to do it..

Take it or leave it, most married women in our society would rather spend holidays with their own family than with their in-laws, because of the above reasons.

The other day, I read a lady complaining that her mother was sweeping and her brother's wife didn't go to take the broom from her and continue the sweeping.

Mind you, the complainant and her other siblings were there too, yet she felt it was her brother's wife's duty to go help her mum.

This morning again, I stumbled on a post where a lady was complaining that her sister in-law visited and didn't enter the kitchen to cook.

Who was cooking for them before her sister in-law came?

Would she have said so if it was her husband or her sister's husband that visited?

When I see such posts or hear people make such funny complaints, I get really funny too.

I hate double standards.
I hate it with passion!!

​It's about time we do away with the tradition that enslaves women...

You are right about the double standard. But it is not only in Africa or Africans. Usually after dinner or visits, all the ladies closer to home including the wife visiting help to clean up and do the dishes together.

While, I mean while the men gather together in the living room, family room or basement to watch soccer or football. Sometimes they play other games while the wives chat and laugh in the kitchen.

The one that I cannot stand are the children, especially the boys leaving the dishes. Mothers would watch and clean up to the boys. But never, I mean hardly for the girls.

Why?

The man paid for the woman. Did the woman pay for the man? Who is the customer among the two? The man. The customer is always the king. Period.



I know that I will be attacked.

This is a case of Reason being hypocritical because of her arrogance.

For you, man and woman are above other beings in the world. And it is wrong that woman be less valorised than man.
What about other animals that you dominate... Donkeys you make to carry your heavy loads, monkeys you put in cage in zoos, and other animals you kill and eat. You think only man and woman deserve to be respected? You think these animals don't have their right to be respected and valorised?
It's either we accept that we are condemned to live with the homocentrism of the planet or we radically destroy the planet's homocentrism.

Vision101:
The man paid for the woman. Did the woman pay for the man? Who is the customer among the two? The man. The customer is always the king. Period.



I know that I will be attacked.

Of course you'll be attacked.
Your reasoning is so extremist and disgusting.

Culture is Culture

This no be obodo_the_abroad with feminist ideologies....

We are in africa and there are laid down Norms and values passed unto us overtime

if it doesnt sit well with you go slam your head for wall..

Its the culture
I know you may say it's primitive and discriminating but rule is the law, your otherwise thoughts can't change what has been in existence for ages

Next time when the married woman goes to visit her inlaw. Let her drop enough cash and see if they would ask her to cook. Its not double standard. When a man visits his inlaws, he doesnt go empty handed. Listen, respect comes when you have cash. Gender doesnt matter

VVIP:
*Copied*

A married woman will go to her parent's home with her husband for a short visit, after exchanging pleasantries, everyone will start running around to make sure their son in-law is comfortable.

He will be well fed, well entertained and well taken care of.

No one expects him to lift a finger to do anything, because he is a special guest, their daughter's husband.

​Turn the table​...��

A married man goes to his parent's home with his wife for a short visit, immediately after exchanging pleasantries, everyone will start looking at their son's wife with corner eye to see if she'll go to the kitchen and join in cooking.���

She will sometimes be expected to take over the cooking and serve everyone, with a broad smile on her face.

After meal, they will be watching her to see if she will clear the table, wash the plates and clean the kitchen.

No one gives her any special treatment like the special guest she is.

Afterall who is she?

An ordinary married woman!

If she doesn't do any of the chores expected of her, her in-law will start 'beefing' her and may become hostile towards her.

Her sisters in-law will start grumbling and sometimes become outright rude to her.

She will be called for a meeting, her home training will be questioned and her wife material length measured.���

She will be berated, called lazy, mannerless and all sorts of derogatory names.

Her husband will even be chastised for not controlling and disciplining his wife enough.

She may most likely leave her in-law's home sad, physically and emotionally drained.

What was meant to be a short vacation or visit eventually turns out to be hard labour filled with misery, tears and regrets.

My annoyance is that it's always women making life uncomfortable and miserable for their fellow women in cases like this.

It's always women putting unnecessary pressure on their fellow women.

It's always women who are the gatekeepers of patriarchy.

.....Can't a woman visit her in-laws and be treated special for the few hours or days she will stay, just like we do to our sons in-law when they visit us?

Get me right o��, I'm not saying that she should relax and be sleeping.....NO...... But let it not look like she's trying to prove a point.

Allow her do it, because it's naturally in her and not because you want her to. A disciplined woman knows what to do, how to do it and when to do it..

Take it or leave it, most married women in our society would rather spend holidays with their own family than with their in-laws, because of the above reasons.

The other day, I read a lady complaining that her mother was sweeping and her brother's wife didn't go to take the broom from her and continue the sweeping.

Mind you, the complainant and her other siblings were there too, yet she felt it was her brother's wife's duty to go help her mum.

This morning again, I stumbled on a post where a lady was complaining that her sister in-law visited and didn't enter the kitchen to cook.

Who was cooking for them before her sister in-law came?

Would she have said so if it was her husband or her sister's husband that visited?

When I see such posts or hear people make such funny complaints, I get really funny too.

I hate double standards.
I hate it with passion!!

​It's about time we do away with the tradition that enslaves women...

Speak for your family bro

Except the primary duty that is expected of female homo sapiens is to at least tidy up and prepare food. Nobody on earth expect a woman to build a house, buy a car, assist the husband's family financially. The man's family observe if the woman has the potential to perform those her duty while the woman's family scan through the man to see if he has money, is well dressed, educated, has a house or has a business. No family wants their daughter to marry a man who pack plates after meal but is worthless financially.
No family judges daughter in law based on her financial worth and no family judges their son in law based on his homeliness.
Some family overdo things of course by either abdicating all the financial burden of the wife's siblings and parents to the son-in-law or dumping all the domestic chores on the head of the visiting daughters-in-law. The difference is that in the former, the man will likely complain about the family of his wife while in the latter, it will be termed "women enslavement".
The problem these days is that everybody wants to be an activist even without a single idea of the dynamics involved in what they're advocating against.

but what of the man visit the wife parents without dime,do you also expect them to treat him well??

That's the way it is right from adams.

laiperi:
You are right about the double standard. But it is not only in Africa or Africans. Usually after dinner or visits, all the ladies closer to home including the wife visiting help to clean up and do the dishes together.

While, I mean while the men gather together in the living room, family room or basement to watch soccer or football. Sometimes they play other games while the wives chat and laugh in the kitchen.

The one that I cannot stand are the children, especially the boys leaving the dishes. Mothers would watch and clean up to the boys. But never, I mean hardly for the girls.

Why?

[img]That's the way it is right from adams.

laiperi:
You are right about the double standard. But it is not only in Africa or Africans. Usually after dinner or visits, all the ladies closer to home including the wife visiting help to clean up and do the dishes together.

While, I mean while the men gather together in the living room, family room or basement to watch soccer or football. Sometimes they play other games while the wives chat and laugh in the kitchen.

The one that I cannot stand are the children, especially the boys leaving the dishes. Mothers would watch and clean up to the boys. But never, I mean hardly for the girls.

Why?

[/img]That's the way it is right from adams.

laiperi:
You are right about the double standard. But it is not only in Africa or Africans. Usually after dinner or visits, all the ladies closer to home including the wife visiting help to clean up and do the dishes together.

While, I mean while the men gather together in the living room, family room or basement to watch soccer or football. Sometimes they play other games while the wives chat and laugh in the kitchen.

The one that I cannot stand are the children, especially the boys leaving the dishes. Mothers would watch and clean up to the boys. But never, I mean hardly for the girls.

Why?

Vision101:
The man paid for the woman. Did the woman pay for the man? Who is the customer among the two? The man. The customer is always the king. Period.



I know that I will be attacked.

Your way of thinking is really disappointing...Do u seriously think women are commodity to be bought?

HealerH:
This is a case of Reason being hypocritical because of her arrogance.

For you, man and woman are above other beings in the world. And it is wrong that woman be less valorised than man.
What about other animals that you dominate... Donkeys you make to carry your heavy loads, monkeys you put in cage in zoos, and other animals you kill and eat. You think only man and woman deserve to be respected? You think these animals don't have their right to be respected and valorised?
It's either we accept that we are condemned to live with the homocentrism of the planet or we radically destroy the planet's homocentrism.

To follow your word...we just submit ourselves to a wrong way of living and shallow thinking?

Op, I agree with you. I don't like how they treat women in that respect too. It's not only married women. It can also be a female visitor from as young as her teens. And her fellow women make things even tougher. Some times the other men won't care it's the women that keep pushing for it.

African tradition is the best. Women must enjoy playing their roles as women and stop complaining. They should keep their mouths shut and be submissive to their husbands. Submissiveness breeds unending love from husbands. Wannabes feminists like the Op is the problem of Nigeria. See where an aggregate of dysfunctional family system has brought us to as a nation. Imagine a home where a daughter sees her father washing plates and cooking food for the house on daily basis, do you know what that does to children? Imagine a home where mothers are free to talk to their husbands anyhow, do you know what that does to little children? OP please carry your useless observation and frustrations to some where else abeg. Spits. One begins to wonder why there is so much moral decadence in our society today. I blame wannabes like the OP for this current situation we find ourselves as a nation. How are you guys always comfortable in copying every bullshit from the west even when their society is gradually crumbling before our eyes? Op you need to change your ways and be reasonable.

brainmax2000:
Culture is Culture

This no be obodo_the_abroad with feminist ideologies....

We are in africa and there are laid down Norms and values passed unto us overtime

if it doesnt sit well with you go slam your head for wall..

This is the 21st Century...things and times are changing, we really got to stop living in the past

Walkee:
Except the primary duty that is expected of female homo sapiens is to at least tidy up and prepare food. Nobody on earth expect a woman to build a house, buy a car, assist the husband's family financially. The man's family observe if the woman has the potential to perform those her duty while the woman's family scan through the man to see if he has money, is well dressed, educated, has a house or has a business. No family wants their daughter to marry a man who pack plates after meal but is worthless financially.
No family judges daughter in law based on her financial worth and no family judges their son in law based on his homeliness.
Some family overdo things of course by either abdicating all the financial burden of the wife's siblings and parents to the son-in-law or dumping all the domestic chores on the head of the visiting daughters-in-law. The difference is that in the former, the man will likely complain about the family of his wife while in the latter, it will be termed "women enslavement".
The problem these days is that everybody wants to be an activist even without a single idea of the dynamics involved in what they're advocating against.

Care to pinpoint your above point...

Most times i don't understand these posts. Which one is women enslavement again eh?? So a man should go to his in laws place and pack plates used after meal to prove that he's modern.

Africans should stop trying to completely emulate these western culture. The African society recognises gender roles. Every gender has roles it naturally plays.

VVIP:


This is the 21st Century...things and times are changing, we really got to stop living in the past

you can aswell accept 21st century change and permit gay marriage and bobrisky as your president then

odonyo

brainmax2000:
you can aswell accept 21st century change and permit gay marriage and bobrisky as your president then

odonyo

There is nothing in the write up supporting gay marriage...all what it is saying is that we shouldn't force things on a woman just because she's a female, it should be a matter of choice

It's always women who are the gatekeepers of patriarchy.

That Patriarchy built everything you're using today you upcoming feminist!
Roads, Buildings, Technology, Millitary... can we even stop?!
Maybe those women realize those men needs to be taken care of and they understand the meaning of gratitude.

Now to the rest of your nonsense, how's it going for them US? not so well. Men have become the slaves haha
Women can lie, destroy, kill and face little or no consequences. The result? 70% baby mamas in Black communities, 50% in White.
Even worse: US is struggling to keep it's power because masculinity is gone and "STRONG women" is actually a myth.

On the other hand, men will pay and still be subjected to chores and if not the woman file for divorce and gets the man wealth 9.9 out of 10.

Maybe more intelligent African women do not want that for their sons and rest of the society?!

The crap you're proposing won't work in Africa, at least for some years. And by the time it does, the West would've realized their error and reverted.

brainmax2000:
Culture is Culture

This no be obodo_the_abroad with feminist ideologies....

We are in africa and there are laid down Norms and values passed unto us overtime

if it doesnt sit well with you go slam your head for wall..

what culture? culture of which tribe specifically because l know different tribes in Nigeria have different cultures . Double standards for a male and female is insensitive and demeaning...

We really need to move forward with our thinking in Africa

hmmm

VVIP:

There is nothing in the write up supporting gay marriage...all what it is saying is that we shouldn't force things on a woman just because she's a female, it should be a matter of choice

if you insist this is 21st century and times are changing also be ready to face the ills that comes with it bcus feminism and Lgbt also follows your narrative so be careful what you wish for..

brainmax2000:
if you insist this is 21st century and times are changing also be ready to face the ills that comes with it bcus feminism and Lgbt also follows your narrative so be careful what you wish for..

Noted