I stay in a compound with 4 tenants.
One of my co-tenant's wife have shown me acts of kindness many times and I want to repay her kindness but I don't know how to go about it without getting her suspicious husband worked up or cause problems in their home.

I am a very busy bachelor, I hardly have time to do most home chores. I go out early and come back late at night.

This lady helps me remove my clothes outside when I spread them, when I bring out trash and keep it outside she helps me to take them out, even when wind blow off my clothes from the line, she will wash and dry them . She's the only one that comes to ring my door bell to notify me whenever power is restored when I am on gen and asleep.

I've been thinking of ways to repay her kindness but the problem is her husband with the little interactions I've had with him is someone that will read meanings to my kindness to them....I once traveled and bought things for them, when I went to give the things I bought for them the husband was not around, I delivered the stuff to the wife at the door and left.

After some days, I was having a conversation with the man and he said " Men should not visit the home of a married woman whenever the husband was not around" I was shocked because what he said had nothing to do with our discussion.
One other time, I and the wife were the only ones left in the compound during the festive period when everyone had traveled, I noticed the wife doesn't sleep in the compound...she comes back every morning. I believe it was the instruction from her husband not to be sleeping in the house and I believe it's because of me. The woman is always in a hurry whenever she returns my clothes or comes to notify me to turn off my gen.

I know they are struggling in these hard times and I have the capacity to help but I don't want the husband to read unnecessary meanings to anything I do for them... He is also a kind of person that will feel I am looking down on him if I render any help.

I don't really blame the man cos he sees how different girls comes to my house and he may think I will have interest in his wife.

I've discussed this with some of my friends, some said I should forget about helping or giving anything to the man or his wife while some think I should go ahead if I want to.
So I want nairalanders to help me decide on what I should do.

Please mind your own business

"Do not desire thy neighbour's wife"

Mind your business!
If ever they need anything from you, they'd ask for it!
Don't go giving gifts to a married woman.

Stay in your lane....

You heard what the husband said about men visiting married women...

We don't want to hear a nairalander was slapped for helping a neighbour

See how you're going on about another man's wife. .. please avoid her and stay very far away from her.

With what the husband said, you don't need a sooth-sayer to tell you he doesn't want to see you anywhere near his wife. So back off!

A simple thank you anytime she does anything for you is ok. Don't even smile when you say it. E get why.

mariahAngel:
"Do not desire thy neighbour's wife"

Mind your business!
If ever they need anything from you, they'd ask for it!
Don't go giving gifts to a married woman.

Simple.@Op.
The husband already told you not to visit when the hubby is not around.
A simple thank you(whenever) you see her is all you need to say.

Give am anything u wan give am...

For your sake, heed her husband's words and avoid giving his wife anything again.
You could thank her when you see her but avoid any further interaction or gift-giving.

author=Ogonisoul post=103027905]Please mind your own business
[/quote]
Ok.. thanks

mariahAngel:
"Do not desire thy neighbour's wife"

Mind your business!
If ever they need anything from you, they'd ask for it!
Don't go giving gifts to a married woman.

I don't desire her, never crossed my mind..I just feel I should show appreciation for her kind deeds to me.... thanks all d same.

Dude, shut the eff up and face front. Talmbout you want to repay her kindness.

Nigga for you to start a thread clearly shows your unwholesome intentions.

You're fooling nobody, least of all her huaband

CharisEleos:
See how you're going on about another man's wife. .. please avoid her and stay very far away from her.

With what the husband said, you don't need a sooth-sayer to tell you he doesn't want to see you anywhere near his wife. So back off!

A simple thank you anytime she does anything for you is ok. Don't even smile when you say it. E get why.

Ok..thanks

drmikeadams:
Give am anything u wan give am...

Abi. Instead of trying to assuage his guilt with story for the gods

Women are all the same bro if u give her to her husband can't give her

She will start looking for a way to pay u back she will start giving you food after she prepare some from there you too will triple your kindness to her she too will open leg and tell you to enter that devil in you will now tell to test a married woman


Leave that woman tell her to focus on her own and leave all your property for me if it's single lady I will advice to carry on but married woman nonono

Belafonte:
Dude, shut the eff up and face front. Talmbout you want to repay her kindness.

Nigga for you to start a thread clearly shows your unwholesome intentions.

You're fooling nobody, least of all her huaband

3 things my Dad told me the day I turned 12.

1. Never desire another man's wife.
2. Never deny any man his dues.
3. Don't look down on anyone.

I've kept these words close to my heart all my life and they have been my guide.
If having willing females equals success, I would be among the most successful men alive.

Sirkingsnado:



Women are all the same bro if u give her to her husband can't give her

She will start looking for a way to pay u back she will start giving you food after she prepare some from there you too will triple your kindness to her she too will open leg and tell you to enter that devil in you will now tell to test a married woman


Leave that woman tell her to focus on her own and leave all your property for me if it's single lady I will advice to carry on but married woman nonono

Thanks bro..just know that nothing will ever make me sleep with a married woman..not in this life or next...

shortgun:

3 things my Dad told me the day I turned 12.

1. Never desire another man's wife.
2. Never deny any man his dues.
3. Don't look down on anyone.

I've kept these words close to my heart all my life and they have been my guide.
If having willing females equals success, I would be among the most successful men alive.

Yet, here you are at 12 midnight complaining that a man is protecting his wife from your advances

shortgun:

Thanks bro..just know that nothing will ever make me sleep with a married woman..not in this life or next...

You gat be extra careful

Belafonte:


Yet, here you are at 12 midnight complaining that a man is protecting his wife from your advances

Whatever man.. believe whatever you want.

Until when they cut off your prick, you go know how far

Stay ur lane guy

shortgun:
I stay in a compound with 4 tenants.
One of my co-tenant's wife have shown me acts of kindness many times and I want to repay her kindness but I don't know how to go about it without getting her suspicious husband worked up or cause problems in their home.

I am a very busy bachelor, I hardly have time to do most home chores. I go out early and come back late at night.

This lady helps me remove my clothes outside when I spread them, when I bring out trash and keep it outside she helps me to take them out, even when wind blow off my clothes from the line, she will wash and dry them . She's the only one that comes to ring my door bell to notify me whenever power is restored when I am on gen and asleep.

I've been thinking of ways to repay her kindness but the problem is her husband with the little interactions I've had with him is someone that will read meanings to my kindness to them....I once traveled and bought things for them, when I went to give the things I bought for them the husband was not around, I delivered the stuff to the wife at the door and left.

After some days, I was having a conversation with the man and he said " Men should not visit the home of a married woman whenever the husband was not around" I was shocked because what he said had nothing to do with our discussion.
One other time, I and the wife were the only ones left in the compound during the festive period when everyone had traveled, I noticed the wife doesn't sleep in the compound...she comes back every morning. I believe it was the instruction from her husband not to be sleeping in the house and I believe it's because of me. The woman is always in a hurry whenever she returns my clothes or comes to notify me to turn off my gen.

I know they are struggling in these hard times and I have the capacity to help but I don't want the husband to read unnecessary meanings to anything I do for them... He is also a kind of person that will feel I am looking down on him if I render any help.

I don't really blame the man cos he sees how different girls comes to my house and he may think I will have interest in his wife.

I've discussed this with some of my friends, some said I should forget about helping or giving anything to the man or his wife while some think I should go ahead if I want to.
So I want nairalanders to help me decide on what I should do.

Do wire transfer to the husband. Help the man's biz and leave his wife alone

If you really wan help. Give it to the man without the wife knowledge and stay farrrrrrrrr away from the wife.

Call both of them and give it to her and it must be cash or u give the woman separately and tell her not to inform her husband that u give her the money

Yanga dey sleep.
Trouble wan wake am.
If anyone need help let them ask for it and you don't go gifting married women without their husband knowledge.

shakir0802:
Call both of them and give it to her and it must be cash or u give the woman separately and tell her not to inform her husband that u give her the money

It seems like you don't know women. She will still tell the husband and also state clearly that the OP requested that she keeps it away from him. This alone defines ill intention / ulterior motive.

My advice Mr. well-to-do guy is to mind your business. No matter how much the lady cares about you, it might just be her nature and has nothing to do with you in particular.

My landlord's wife is a very young woman and does almost similar thing to me. Because of the way the compound is, very close to the street that is as busy as a main road, she will be quick to jump out to stop vehicles crossing the street so I can drive out and when I want to drive in as well, once I get close and a car is obstructing me from driving in, she will be instructing them and all. Always inform me when my car has a dent that she suspects I don't know or basically trying to help.

But in all of these, I just tell her thank you and move on. Unlike in your case, I don't consider them poor and I wonder how you reached the conclusion that they are poor.

Please, just appreciate the woman verbally and mind your business.

Ordinarily, there is nothing wrong with your intention since it is coming from the place of altruism, citing the connotation of your submissions. Unfortunately, the woman's husband, just like many commenters here, does not believe in altruism, citing his said statement prior to now. One now wonders what "love your neighbor as you love yourself" means.

It is unfortunate that we live in a world where almost 99.9% neither believe nor practice altruism/love, and by extension, mistake anyone who does as bad or weak. Normalization of abnormalities is the order of the day.

Save yourself the stress and reserve your kindness until you come across neighbors who, as a family, share your kind of mentality.

You are a very terrible & shameless neighbor

Let me add my very little contribution to this, if you really want to help as you have stated that the man and his family are struggling, why not teach the man how to fish, introduce him to opportunities that can change his life, that way the wife still benefits and everyone wins. Na from clap dance dey start, anything with a married woman should be a No No for you

Don't mind her yeye husband,he's not secure,i hate men acting like that,well maybe his wife is the only asset he got,no other thing.