iLegendd:
Nice post, but I'm going to shock you.

As a man, you need to be a real man who doesn't take bullshît, yet humorus and outgoing.

As a man, if you're a pushover or a nice guy, even if you follow all the above, you'll still end up in tears.

My advice to all men is: be a real alpha male and be focused on greatness.

Set the rules and let her tag along as long as she obeys them. Even if she's from a broken home or a wayward girl, as long as she knows you're a no-bullshìt real man, her bad behaviors will vanish.

Let me tell you a short story. I don't like getting into a relationship because I'm a heartbreaker.

Why did I say so?

It's because I don't take bullshît or a naggy behavior from women (be you the most beautiful, intelligent, or richest woman on earth), and at the same time, I'm playful towards them.

One of my rules is: don't ever nag and don't ever demand.

I decided to get into a relationship last year with a pretty yellow sisi. Unfortunately, she traveled to another state for a few months. She calls everyday, but I don't pick most times. I hate long distance relationships.

On February, this year, she demanded we meet on the 14th and hang out, but I told her let's see how it goes. She kept reminding me not to disappoint her.

I have told her that I'm a heartbreaker and she said as long as I'm the one breaking her heart, there is no problem.

Since she had missed me and kept reminding me for a meetup on the 14th, I got pissed, called her on the 13th of February and said, "I don't want to disappoint you, Honey. Let's just be friends."

The phone went mute and she couldn't alter a single word. I don't know if she was rushed to the hospital.

Hours later, she sent me a text message with so much pains and tears. I replied by changing the topic and asking her if she has credit on her phone, but she didn't reply. She was in pain. I sent her 1k recharge card so she can use it to call her admirers that there is vacancy.

In her cute head she had already planned how she was going to fùck me on the 14th, but I crushed her plans.

A man who knows how to fùck, but at the same time has the power to reject sex from a beautiful woman is a man with power.

Two weeks later, I sent her another card and she called to ask if I was the one who sent it, but I said no that it's MTN doing bonanza to people who broke up on the 13th—14th of Feb. She laughed and insisted I was the one, but I teased her and we had a fun conversation.

A week later, she called but I didn't pick. The next day, I called her and used humor to entertain her brain. Humor has powerful. Any man who masters the secret of humor and can make a woman laugh on command has a powerful skill.

In the conversation, I teased her and said, "Shey your new boyfriend don dey buy you made in Aba G-string already, abi? Bad girl. I will tell your mommy for you." She laughed and said she doesn't have a new boyfriend.

I asked why and she said, "I haven't found someone like you yet. You're just different and crazy. Too troublesome, yet fun to be with."

That was exactly what she said. Why did she say that? Is it because I'm too rich, too handsome, and too tall? No. It's none of that. In fact, I'm not rich, handsome, or tall, but there is something I have and it's called no-bullshìt from anybody behavior.

Despite being a no-bullshìt person, I don't abuse women neither do I take advantage of them sexually. People think bad boys are abusive and yes, some of them are, but good-bad guys aren't.

The reason I shared this story is to let you know the girl is a stubborn girl, but when she met me, her stubbornness disappeared.

Why? She met a man who has rules and can't lose his power because of a mere vagina or pretty face. But despite having rules, he is not rigid or boring. Most men with rules are too rigid and boring, but in my case, I keep the flow lively while guarding my relationship rules.

I don't reveal my rules to women, but they can feel it through my behavior or body language. Most men are Mr. Weaklings and they don't have rules.

They think all they need for a relationship or marriage to work is money, money, more money, but they don't know it's principle, not money. Money is just a subordinate.

When a woman meets a real man, her past dissolves and she melts for him even if she's from the worst family in the world.

My advice to men is not to follow all the checklists above, but to work on themselves first and have rules. For a man to go into a relationship, he should learn how the dating world works.

When a man wants to hear God, he reads his Bible to understand how God works.

When a man wants to pass his exams, he reads textbooks.

Unfortunately, when this same man wants a woman in his life so he can get married and raise a family, he refuses to read dating books written by real men.

Instead, he'll start looking for counselling from nice guys like him when it's already late.

For any man reading this, why not you learn how women work now, than when it's too late?

If you learn how women work, you'll set the rules yourself like me. I'm in a state where even the worst woman on earth changes and follows my lead. Women don't mess with me because they can't.

You can only be hurt if you allow it. Nigeria as a country is constantly being hurt and raped by politicians because "Nigerians" allowed it. That is exactly how marriage and relationship work.

So, be a real man and be the king.

Boss13:


Are you a product of a single mom or currently a single mom? I don't deal with outliers. I deal with the majority. The statistics are there for all to see and review. While there maybe a few single moms who change the course of their situation, they make bad parenting decisions and are usually not good spouse. You don't have to argue with me on this.

My advice is for young men considering marriage to avoid pitfalls. Most young men do not understand how to pick their partner. As the world continues to condemn traditional values and pick up liberal idiosyncrasies, you find young men pairing up with the wrong women for the wrong reasons.

There are three things that define an individual - Their family, Their food content (which could defined their body structure), and the environment. Family and Environment are extremely vital in how an individual reason and adapt. For example, an individual from a poor family in a poor environment would need a miracle to break the chains of poverty because everything around that individual is poverty.

BinamRex:


You are trying to sound smart, but you are a full individual.

Boss13:


I will not stoop to your level because you are unarguably smarter than me. My problem is staring at me in the mirror. I am a foolish person, I know, and my post was insensitive.

I shouldn't be dishing out unsolicited advice when the objective of the thread isn't to help reasonable men pick their wives and to assist them avoid pitfalls.

Obarofrederick:
You have chewed and digested the red pill boss

Boss13:
I have read about some many sad tales on Nairaland about marriages and I have seen similar pitfalls. Please note that my post is from a man’s view and does not aim to bring down women. I am also posting this because many young men do not get solid advice on how to pick their partners.

It is only when you get married that you begin to understand marriage. However, young men, if you adhere to some of the advices below, you will avoid some marital pitfalls and approach marriage from a logical point of view.

No 1 - Never marry for love. Love should never be the underlying factor to marry a woman. Why - marriage is a long term commitment for the foreseeable future. Love is an emotional situation and just like every other emotions, love comes and goes. There would be days and even months, that your partner irritates and disgust you. If love is the main reason you marry, young man, you would be heading for the divorce court.

No 2 - Never marry a single mother. What ever you do, never ever marry a single mother. Don’t start your family with another man’s family. Start your family brand new. I would love to explain this fully, but it would make this post longer.

No 3 - Assess and conduct proper due diligence on your future in-laws. Know your in-laws properly. Know their source of livelihood. Ensure your future in-laws are doing financially well as well as the siblings of your future wife. You will not enjoy your marriage when excessive financial burdens fall on you. Except you are excessively wealthy, which I doubt as a young man starting off life, and you have a big heart as well as a big house, don’t marry a woman where you cannot verify her family income.

No 4 - Don’t marry a lady from a broken home. Many women will paint a story of not leaving their marriage because they are from a broken home. However, please note these women do not have the knowledge, opportunity or privilege to be in a stable household. Many of them did not see their mothers adore and respect their fathers. Many only get to hear about negative information of their fathers. These are the first set of women to leave their marriage when things take a downward spin. If you want to have an idea of how your wife would treat you, look at how her mother behaves or treat her father and if the father is not around, this is a huge risk.

No 5 - Never marry for beauty. I don’t need to explain this so much. Beauty fades as one age and even if it doesn’t, beauty becomes inconsequential during marriage. Behavioral attitude matters a lot. At some point, your wife’s beauty becomes non existent and you begin to see her as an individual and not because she is beautiful.

No 6 - Assess your future wife’s friends and those who influence her. Women are largely insecure. Many rely on the advices of their friends, family, or spiritual leaders to make decisions. You have to assess the character of the person who has a major influence on your future wife. You have no choice on this because this individual would be running your home from his/her own location. If the individual is of no good and your future wife cannot cut ties, don’t marry such a woman. If the individual is of good standing, befriend such individual.

No 7 - Polygamous home - if the father of your future wife do not have a strong influence over his large family, run away.

No 8 - Never marry for food or sex. These are things a man with good income can easily get. Don’t let this form an opinion for selecting a wife. As you age, your sex drive dwindles down. Also, you get preoccupied with other more important things. For food, we can all agreed many of us eat out either due to the job or recreational purposes. Furthermore, food and sex do not define a man. If this is why you want to get married, think again.

No 9 - Never marry an illiterate, semi-educated or poorly educated woman. This is actually because of your kids. Women play a pivotal role for the early development of kids. An educated smart woman would raise smart kids.

No 10 - Never marry a prostitute. We get to hear prostitutes make fine wives. I wonder the foolish set of people who pushed the agenda. A prostitute has no regards for her body and health. She is highly materialistic and considers money to be her ONLY master. Prostitutes have served a wide range of different men and are only with men for money. A prostitute would marry you for the financial security you bring. She would be the first to sleep with your friends when that financial security no longer exist. She also may continue to indulge in her sexual escapades whilst married because she enjoys the thrills.

Boss13:


Imagine your ridiculousness. It gives you intense pleasurable joy to appear stupid.

The least you can do is go through my previous threads, comments and post. It probably would give you a little indication of me.

These are the individuals who privately send your messages begging you for financial support or guidance.

You are the reason why I stopped visiting Nairaland because it is now filled with disrespectful kids, low-lives, disgruntled elements, and angry individuals who would blame everyone and everything, but themselves for the outcome of their lives.

Go get a life! You need it.

iLegendd:


You're right. Though, it's more than that. We have Yahoo boys and we have Yahoo+ boys. Also, we have redpill and we have redpill+.

I'm a plus. Why? Because I know the redpill, but I invent my own rules and they have never failed for the men who learned them from the books I wrote.

Those books below are not really about redpill, but self-improvement for men.

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BinamRex:


Bro,are you Dangote? If you aren't, then all this bragging isn't necessary.

You post didn't make sense and I pointed it out, and you got angry. My criticism was constructive, ok. Now rest.

CsRockefeller:
I agree with you, especially as it relates to respect from the lady. I feel I'm ok with a 5 years gap but like you opined earlier, ability to provide changes lots of things.

One thing I know I wouldn't compromise on is: Education and Employability/Income earnings, beauty can go to hell, I'm not a big fan of overly beautiful ladies.

Boss13:


I love and encourage constructive criticism. It gives room for others to either learn from opposing views or contribute to the discussion. Yours was none of this.

BinamRex:


In all honesty, your post was absolute trash. You made harsh pronouncements about single parents and ladies from single homes. You don't judge people like that, bro. Your written English is top-notch, but you strike me as someone who is too judgemental.

I bet you that 95% of criminals terrorizing this country are raised by both of their parents.

As an educated fellow you should know that labelling a particular group of people as bad isn't nice. People should be judged by the content of their character and not because they are/were raised by a single parent.

If I had half your writing skills, I'd be a best-seller.

BinamRex:


In all honesty, your post was absolute trash. You made harsh pronouncements about single parents and ladies from single homes. You don't judge people like that, bro. Your written English is top-notch, but you strike me as someone who is too judgemental.

I bet you that 95% of criminals terrorizing this country are raised by both of their parents.

As an educated fellow you should know that labelling a particular group of people as bad isn't nice. People should be judged by the content of their character and not because they are/were raised by a single parent.

If I had half your writing skills, I'd be a best-seller.

Boss13:


I can understand your sensitivity especially on the narrative concerning single mothers, but I am not wrong. Statistics has shown single mothers do not make good parenting decisions. It doesn't say all, but most single mothers and by most, it means 75% - 90%. That's a large number.

Again, why should a young man who is discerning, ambitious, and want the good things of life, enter into a relationship or marriage with another man's child? Except the single mother will remarkably increase his network and value, such young man is lost in the head.

Are you aware that, on average, it cost roughly $100,000 - $300,000 to comfortably raise a child. You can do the conversion in naira. That amount gives a child the fighting chance to compete in the world. Why would a discerning young man pick up the bill of another man's child when he could get single ladies and raise his own kids.

Unfortunately, you cannot give what you don't have or know. Ladies from broken homes do not know what it takes to be with a man. They have never seen it. They have never seen their mothers submit and be under the submission and leadership of a man. Even though their biological nature yearns to be cared for and to raise kids, they will be in friction with the men in their lives. Some of these ladies are fast learners and would make the necessary adjustments. Others will fight the men in their lives for leadership control. However, why take the risk and put your stability in jeopardy.

My writeup is to assist young men identify potential spouses and to avoid pitfalls. I have seen and read multitudes of young men marry for love or the wrong reasons and end up regretting their decisions. My writeup is a no nonsense, pragmatic approach to picking your wife.

JOSH54:

No 2 - Never marry a single mother. What ever you do, never ever marry a single mother. Don’t start your family with another man’s family. Start your family brand new. I would love to explain this fully, but it would make this post longer.

I have seen
single mothers who become excellent wives but that does not mean there are no bad ones. lets not generalise them into one category

JOSH54:

No 2 - Never marry a single mother. What ever you do, never ever marry a single mother. Don’t start your family with another man’s family. Start your family brand new. I would love to explain this fully, but it would make this post longer.

I have seen
single mothers who become excellent wives but that does not mean there are no bad ones. lets not generalise them into one category

Boss13:


Thanks for your opinion. I’m very well versed in love due to age and experience. I can tell you all about it and the fantasies. What I have said is the reality. Don’t marry only for love. If you do, then be ready for rough consequences. Why

- It would hurt you to your soul when the person you love call you disgusting names.
- It would hurt you to your bones when the person you love ignores you.
- Men who are so passionately in love with their partners do not end up well. They are the first to commit crime out of passion.

Those who are married understand what I’m saying. You can choose to ignore the advice. However, when you do marry, you will see the pitfalls before your eyes.

Tboymessiah:


Boss, God bless you for this advice, this happened to out of passion I hit a lady with a stone, just bcus she cheat on me, I thank God the relationship don't work out many bad things would have happened by now.

Boss13:


Thanks for your opinion. I’m very well versed in love due to age and experience. I can tell you all about it and the fantasies. What I have said is the reality. Don’t marry only for love. If you do, then be ready for rough consequences. Why

- It would hurt you to your soul when the person you love call you disgusting names.
- It would hurt you to your bones when the person you love ignores you.
- Men who are so passionately in love with their partners do not end up well. They are the first to commit crime out of passion.

Those who are married understand what I’m saying. You can choose to ignore the advice. However, when you do marry, you will see the pitfalls before your eyes.

Boss13:


My apologies for not responding to this on time. I have been busy.

It is extremely important to conduct due diligence on your prospective in-law. As I write this, I'm currently advising a man who failed to implementing this and is now going through a divorce. This man is from a well-to-do family, but married into a poor family. This is a story for another day.

I will strongly warn young men to not marry below their class. Infact, men from poor background should strive to marry into affluent family. Men from rich background should stick to their class.

lordally:


Please kindly tell us the story so we can learn ...

Boss13:


GIST OF THE STORY
The man married his wife from a poor background. He was largely responsible for the upkeep of his house and his wife's extended family. His wife's family were an obvious parasite and decided to move in. This created a strain on the marriage which finally collapsed. Guess what, the wife's family go about town calling him stingy.

lawrykings:
I shouldn't marry for love... Hmmm. I am really not getting this one OP

XklusivGistBlog:

Rubbish Post
You don't know the meaning of Love.
Its not a feeling. Love is Living.

Estherosev2:
op is like don't marry for love, don't marry for this, don't marry for dat... what are we supposed to marry for then?

Boss13:


Please note that first, I’m not your age mate. Second, to involve my late mom into this, depicts your upbringing.

You can critique without being ridiculous. To answer your question, yes you can find women who don’t fall into these categories.

I will tell you a story for free. I was deeply in love with a lady and was considering spending the rest of my life with her. However, she was from a broken home. The father was never in her life. The mom was out of the country and only sent money for upkeeps. She was brought up by relatives. She graduated school, but I noticed some form of unserious behavior. I got her a job and also tried to motivate her.

Recall I said I was deeply in love with her. Logically I knew marrying this woman would cause me future pain, but I was in love and didn’t want to lose her. I assessed her family structure and financial well-being and it was not healthy in all ramifications. She wanted me to introduce her to my parents, but I couldn’t and then the problems started. She decided to get involved with someone else and told me she wasn’t interested anymore. I was deeply hurt.

Guess what - her marriage is in bad shape. The guy she left me for married her and I would have been that man. Both her and the husband are terribly unhappy and are considering divorce. I am not mocking her - Hell No, but I am highlighting that if I had followed my heart, I would be miserable and may have divorced her.

Love is not enough for marriage - Young man.