Please help me out. Each time my parents call, its either one problem or the other. I mean both my father and mother will always say they dont have money. They will say they need money to plaster there house, or to paint their house, or to do one thing or the other, and they know, even me I dont have a house yet talk more of sending money to take care of their house or other needs. Note: they both are working as teachers. Even my siblings are like that. They all think I have money, because I stay in the city.

I am getting irritated by their calls. Every call comes with money problem.

Please help me out with good advice.

Maybe you're the type that don't know " take " so they have to cultivate the habit of " bring ".
They're your parents, talk to them gently and make them understand your financial strength.

Act like you don't have money, in fact, complain about how broke you are.

I'm sure you won't say this if na him in law

Hathor5:
Act like you don't have money, in fact, complain about how broke you are.

madridguy:
Maybe you're the type that don't know " take " so they have to cultivate the habit of " bring ".
They're your parents, talk to them gently and make them understand your financial strength.

ok bro. Its driving me crazy I swear. I sponsored myself in the university, just so the burden of school fees will reduce on them, so they can concentrate on my siblings school, yet they didnt understand.

wantagon1:
Please help me out. Each time my parents call, its either one problem or the other. I mean both my father and mother will always say they dont have money. They will say they need money to plaster there house, or to paint their house, or to do one thing or the other, and they know, even me I dont have a house yet talk more of sending money to take care of their house or other needs. Note: they both are working as teachers. Even my siblings are like that. They all think I have money, because I stay in the city.

I am getting irritated by their calls. Every call comes with money problem.

Please help me out with good advice.

but you will give to that girl do your parents always collect money for painting always haba people self when the where giving you did they complain in sending you to school, feeding you clothing you till ur mature

Hathor5:
Act like you don't have money, in fact, complain about how broke you are.

I dont live an extravagant life. Yet all they care is bring, bring, bring.

Make sure you give for their basic needs and for any project, any that you can't do, don't pretend to be a good boy, tell them you can't do that at that time.

heniford2:
but you will give to that girl do your parents always collect money for painting always haba people self when the where giving you did they complain in sending you to school, feeding you clothing you till ur mature

I just cited painting. The demands are many.

I will also be a parent also. But I will not put too much pressure on my children to take care of me. I want my kids to be successful in order to take of themselves and not me. My retirement plan should be able to take of me and my wife.

Bro don’t over burden yourself it’s is called black tax, put them on a monthly pay and if u give them that money lockup ..,,Anytime projects comes up split it amongst members of the family…it works for me sha cos I can’t be doing their bidding and not enjoy the money I’m making.

saintokwuluora:
Make sure you give for their basic needs and for any project, any that you can't do, don't pretend to be a good boy, tell them you can't do that at that time.

They can take of their basic need. But I feel sometimes they just want to live above their means.

The other day , they said they want flat screen tv in their palour.

colossus91:
Bro don’t over burden yourself it’s is called black tax, put them on a monthly pay and if u give them that money lockup ..,,Anytime projects comes up split it amongst members of the family…it works for me sha cos I can’t be doing their bidding and not enjoy the money I’m making.

bros with this economy, I no fit put anybody for payroll abeg. I am also on somebody's payroll.

wantagon1:


I just cited painting. The demands are many.

I will also be a parent also. But I will not put too much pressure on my children to take care of me. I want my kids to be successful in order to take of themselves and not me. My retirement plan should be able to take of me and my wife.

abeg give to them if you have the money stop complaining of them demand too much like when u ask of textbook they don't provide it for even when you have you can even fake stuff to collect money from them give jor see there is this joy parents get when there son or daughter send money to them be happy you still have a father some of us wish ours was still alive and is asking us money oh

heniford2:
abeg give to them if you have the money stop complaining of them demand too much like when u ask of textbook they don't provide it for even when you have you can even fake stuff to collect money from them give jor see there is this joy parents get when there son or daughter send money to them be happy you still have a father some of us wish ours was still alive and is asking us money oh

Okay let me start acting as a father to you. I will start calling you. You have to do your part taking care of me

Spend your money on your kids if you have still have enough left invest and safeguard their future. Responsibility to your kids should be prioritised over your parents.
You don't owe you parents anything you owe your kids everything. Don't let them blackmail you about how they trained you and bla bla.
Tell them the children you brought or will bring into this world are your primary responsibility.
Mind you I didn't say you shouldn't show your parents love. But not at the expense of your own kids.
Just my opinion from my experience .

Hummmmmm..... I understand them, they might be saying the truth. Things are too coat now I pray that God should continue to bless us to provide for them to their taste. That is the only solution.

wantagon1:
Please help me out. Each time my parents call, its either one problem or the other. I mean both my father and mother will always say they dont have money. They will say they need money to plaster there house, or to paint their house, or to do one thing or the other, and they know, even me I dont have a house yet talk more of sending money to take care of their house or other needs. Note: they both are working as teachers. Even my siblings are like that. They all think I have money, because I stay in the city.

I am getting irritated by their calls. Every call comes with money problem.

Please help me out with good advice.

Determine a monthly allowance to send to them and stick to it. You will need to save money as life throws us the unexpected sometimes.
Even if you are dangote-wealthy, get a budget and stick to it: be disciplined

Shokoloko:



Determine a monthly allowance to send to them and stick to it. You will need to save money as life throws us the unexpected sometimes.
Even if you are dangote-wealthy, get a budget and stick to it: be disciplined

This is a bad advice o.

Send them money but don't make it a fixed amount and don't send it regularly.

You can send 50k this month and send 30k in the next two months.

If you send, say 40k every month, there will be trouble the month you don't send it.

I guess I'm lucky to have my parents.

wantagon1:


ok bro. Its driving me crazy I swear. I sponsored myself in the university, just so the burden of school fees will reduce on them, so they can concentrate on my siblings school, yet they didnt understand.

I cannot make a parent who didn't sponsor me in school a priority. Never!

You need to clear your parents.

wantagon1:


I dont live an extravagant life. Yet all they care is bring, bring, bring.

Ask, ask, ask too. The phone calls will reduce.

madridguy:
I'm sure you won't say this if na him in law

Because?

Karleb:


This is a bad advice o.

Send them money but don't make it a fixed amount and don't send it regularly.

You can send 50k this month and send 30k in the next two months.

If you send, say 40k every month, there will be trouble the month you don't send it.

I guess I'm lucky to have my parents.

You are able to send you parents as you like because they do not pressure you. For this young man's type of parents they seem to be the type that will work best with routine. (more evident as they are both teachers)
With people that are consistently requesting for money set a schedule even if it is N10,000 or N20,000 stick to it religiously
Its people that do not always ask that you can surprise with a little more like the extra N20000 (to make N50,000) that you are talking about

Lets imagine OP send his parents N50000 in January and 30k in march. As far as they are concerned, he owes them N20.000 and they will keep pressurizing him until he brings out that balance. They will operate best with rigid routines

Shokoloko:


You are able to send you parents as you like because they do not pressure you. For this young man's type of parents they seem to be the type that will work best with routine. (more evident as they are both teachers)
With people that are consistently requesting for money set a schedule even if it is N10,000 or N20,000 stick to it religiously
Its people that do not always ask that you can surprise with a little more like the extra N20000 (to make N50,000) that you are talking about

Lets imagine OP send his parents N50000 in January and 30k in march. As far as they are concerned, he owes them N20.000 and they will keep pressurizing him until he brings out that balance. They will operate best with rigid routines

What if they pressurize him? Them point am gun?

No parent should mandate their wards to send them money, especially if the so-called parents have a source of income.

The OP should not succumb to any pseudo-pressure.

A cousin of mine fell into that trap of sending a fixed amount monthly. It got to an extent, his parent started reminding him of what to do whenever it is the end of the month. They even demanded that he increases the amount.

Don't put your parents on monthly allowance. It's a trap. African parents will always be African parents.

Your Parents is or are a part of your family and not a different part of your family . A big family as everyone will like to have is made up of parts of family members , in-laws, relatives dependent friends or as applied. It is good to know every of their needs as the man in the city with lights . Share your enlightenment.

Your priority should be only for a comfort that you can afford. This process will encourage lots of growth & development for family members
Tell them current affairs and the essence of adopting new culture to survive in today times by creating a space of a store house and investing in food.
Every family member is always interested in working on a part and for a path of that

Copied from #HAPPYPEOPLE by dchef

heniford2:
abeg give to them if you have the money stop complaining of them demand too much like when u ask of textbook they don't provide it for even when you have you can even fake stuff to collect money from them give jor see there is this joy parents get when there son or daughter send money to them be happy you still have a father some of us wish ours was still alive and is asking us money oh

I think I understand the OP's point. There are some people that what you give them is never enough. They want to keep collecting everytime, not caring if you are faring well.

There's someone I had to stop calling often to check on because even if you gave her money last week, there would be another need when you call

The way she troubles her son who gives her a monthly allowance and more when he has is really an issue. He keeps wondering what she uses the money for, even if her other three children send to her too.

Some parents can be greedy and unsympathetic. They will even blackmail you with all the things they sacrificed for you as if you are the one that brought yourself into the world.

The OP should just try to manage the situation and give what he can. If not, he will be left with no savings and nothing to use to plan his life and future.

I can feel your pain, outside hard this time around, and everybody are just finding ways to manage the little they have.....

This is what I do most times, every month, once my salary entered, I wire them small change, so I don't want them to call me half month to tell me to being money again....

Though they hardly ask for money, but always do that for them.

wantagon1:


bros with this economy, I no fit put anybody for payroll abeg. I am also on somebody's payroll.

I felt like 10k monthly or more as u can afford!

wantagon1:


ok bro. Its driving me crazy I swear. I sponsored myself in the university, just so the burden of school fees will reduce on them, so they can concentrate on my siblings school, yet they didnt understand.

How many siblings?

Now you know how it feels. That time when you too were still dependent and always requesting from them " give me this, give me that" they were doing it and you thought it was easy.

Just let them know how much and how often you'll be sending them allowance ( based on when it will be convenient for you) so they know when to expect and stop with the incessant calls.

The Lord is your muscle.

Richy4:
You said they are school teachers right? during holidays, just Invite one of them to the city.... Let them come and see situation of things.... (Your mum will be the better option for this experiment)
While she was there, Let the fridge be almost empty to the point that she will think u were starving...No meat, fish or chicken allowed in your home in all the duration that she will be staying... If you were cooking thick Egwusi soup before, make it a bit watery for her benefit...

When she gets home, she will tell her husband the true situation of things... and they will be putting u in their prayers every morning during morning devotion.., Even when u give them money, they will be feeling sorry and reluctant to collect it... The bottom line is, U have solved the constant calling problem

N.B: This solution does not mean u should stop giving them money for ever...It's just a temporary measure

Very insensitive of you.

How can you pull such tricks on your own parents that suffered to raise you up? Una get mind Sha. But know that, what goes around comes around.

Funny enough....many long to see their parents do this but unfortunately some of them are orphans

Bros,let me tell you something.....no matter how rich some parents are....they enjoy it most when they get something from their children....if they demand anything from you...give it to them if you have it.

You can have many friends in this life but you have just two parent (your dad and your mom)

Enjoy their wahala now that you still have them around.

My one cent thoo.