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8 Nigerian Men Talk About Dating Non-nigerians by BigCabal: 9:25pm On Aug 02, 2021 |
People (and by people I mean strangers on the internet) are often quick to say “Nigerian men and women were made for each other. I decided to confirm if this match was made in heaven or Nigerian men were better suited to others. I asked six Nigerian men about their romantic experiences with non-Nigerians. Here’s what they had to say. Tega My girlfriend is Sierra Leonean. I’m not saying all Nigerian women are terrible, but I’ve experienced more tenderness, empathy and kindness. There’s more openness, less scepticism and definitely none of that deliberate wickedness that ends in “I was just playing with you.” She’s listening and accommodating and quite optimistic. There are a lot of instances but just for contrast, I’ll describe an incident that happened with a Nigerian friend who claims to have a crush on me. At a gathering with friends, she said something about my presence being annoying. I told her that was hurtful and asked her to stop if she wasn’t serious. She goes on and on, deliberately trying to poke fun at me, asking if I need to talk to my therapist. Next thing, “Ah, are you angry? Did I do anything to you?” I was pissed and I left the gathering. She later texted me that it was all banter, despite the fact that I made it clear that it was hurtful. My partner would never do anything like that. When I tell her I don’t like something, she stops it immediately and apologizes. No bullying or trivialising the issue. It just doesn’t happen again. There’s no such thing as “doing too much”. Just two people trying to be kind and happy. Sierra Leoneans are like Nigerians, and she’s been in Nigeria for a while so she’s acclimatised. It’s like dating a really warm Nigerian with a very accepting family. Michael I’ve dated three non-Nigerians – a Northern Irish, a Kenyan and a Zambian. I even got engaged to one of them but distance ended that relationship. I dated the Kenyan during my masters in the UK. She started the conversation with me on a bus about UK weather (a default icebreaker) and we hit it off. She was a remarkable person. An amazing cook and wonderful in bed. She was always willing to experiment, either in the kitchen or in the other room. Her parents were pretty well off and I was a broke student on an allowance. I was in awe of how she splurged on gifts for me – clothes, shoes, watches. One time, she booked a weekend getaway to a theme park near London. I did the math and clocked it cost about N800k. She told me I didn’t have to spend a thing. In her words, “my money is our money and your money is our money.” She completely blew me away. I was never the sole spender in the relationship. One time, she hid my debit card because she didn’t like the fact that I was always paying for our meals. She was also super romantic and would always stop by my place on her way back from work. Her family was also quite welcoming; I spent the New Years holiday with them. The best relationship I ever had. Sadly, she had to go back to Kenya after her degree. George I dated an Indian in university and it was fantastic. She was beautiful, with great hips and long hair. We used to sit beside each other in class. She told me she liked me and why, without mincing words. Soon after, we were dating. She was more expressive of her feeling than Nigerian babes. Unfortunately, she was a conservative Muslim. Her parents sent a driver to pick her immediately after school every day so we didn’t get to see a lot. We used to Bleep all over the school, whenever we could. She’d also buy me a gift for any gift I bought her and was never hesitant to spend on me. On her part, she became more liberal while dating me, going from a hijabi to wearing shoulder scarves, jeans and makeup. After graduating, she was married off to some guy in the UK and that was the end of our relationship. I recommend that Nigerian men date at least one non-Nigerian in their lifetime. It’s nice to experience. Tomiwa I’ve dated a Motswana, Thai and South African. A common theme across the board for them is they’re more willing to spend and are less entitled. They were also quite better at articulating issues and were more willing to accept personal responsibility too. They never tried to shift blame and never excused their own bad behaviour. The South African was the most serious of the relationships. She spent on me without provocation. It was refreshing to be taken care of for a change. I had to turn down some grander gestures so I wouldn’t feel guilty if a break-up happened. There was no expectation for me to pay when we ate out, she either paid or made us split. While I protested her generosity most times, it’s nice to know they didn’t automatically expect me to pay. They were also largely respectful of boundaries, particularly my time. She understood if I was too busy to hang out, without sulking. If there was an issue, she would address it instead of becoming passive-aggressive. This isn’t to say Nigerian women are bad. I’ve dated amazing Nigerian women but they’re generally socialised a certain way and there’s no getting around that, except for a few who are self-aware and are consistently self-auditing. Akpos I’ve dated a number of non-Nigerians. In summary, there was less drama, no billing, no broke-shaming or snide remarks about not using an iPhone. The quality of the conversation was better. It just felt a lot less transactional. However, I had to deal with racism when I was in Slovenia when some men accused me of stealing their babes. But they are cowards and can’t fight so it’s all good. Another girl’s family made her move out of the house because they said she had caught “some African disease.” Sam I dated a French black woman. It was refreshing. Different, but in a good way. She was expressive with her emotions in a way I find Nigerians usually aren’t. However, a peculiar source of friction in our relationship was the fact that she used to get very upset when I tell my friends I love them. She says it’s because I was colonised by the English and she by the French, but apparently, I was too liberal with saying “I love you” to friends. There might be some truth to it since the French say Je t’aime and Je t’adore which mean the same thing in English but carry different potencies in French. She didn’t adjust. I just stopped telling people I loved them [laughs]. Having dated Nigerians and non-Nigerian, I think people are just people, and I haven’t seen any significant difference that tilts my personal preference either way. Chike My girlfriend is German and it’s more peaceful than dating a Nigerian. It costs less because financial burdens are split equally. She’s a better communicator and has no problems saying what she wants when it comes to sex, unlike Naija babes that you have to be guessing. She has also taught me to enjoy things like picnics, hiking and walks in the park. However, the lack of cultural similarities gets to me sometimes. Our jokes are different; for example, she doesn’t get why I find Nigerian comedy skits and memes so funny. Still, she’s a big fan of Nigerian music. She listens to more Afropop than I do. We also have different tastes in food so we don’t have as many joint meals as we would have if she was Nigerian. She doesn’t understand my struggles such as why my cousins and siblings are taxing me for money. Bayo There’s a remarkable difference between Nigerian and foreign relationships. First, they seemed to be more interested in me for who I am. There’s no need to impress like I would have to with Lagos babes. There’s also less financial pressure. It was the first time I felt comfortable telling a babe I was broke because they would cover for me when I couldn’t and they never made a big deal out of it. It felt really refreshing to be spoiled by her and it made me reciprocate a lot more. Are you a man who would like to be interviewed for a Zikoko article? Fill this form and we’ll be in your inbox quicker than you can say “Man Dem.” Source: https://www.zikoko.com/man/8-nigerian-men-talk-about-dating-non-nigerians/ Read more stories like this here: https://www.zikoko.com/category/man/ 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: 8 Nigerian Men Talk About Dating Non-nigerians by Aniboo: 10:19pm On Aug 02, 2021 |
So ? |
Re: 8 Nigerian Men Talk About Dating Non-nigerians by GeneralPula: 10:37pm On Aug 02, 2021 |
I wish every naija guy can have a taste of what having a relationship with non-Nigerian women feels like.. Only then you’ll understand deeply that naija girls have no inch of moral & are not worthy of being wifed.. 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: 8 Nigerian Men Talk About Dating Non-nigerians by DoggoneDogg: 10:44pm On Aug 02, 2021 |
Summary & key points below BigCabal: It is over for Naija girls. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: 8 Nigerian Men Talk About Dating Non-nigerians by pocohantas(f): 10:50pm On Aug 02, 2021 |
GeneralPula: Doesn’t change the fact that you wife them, way more than your sweet foreign girls. I kept seeing “I dated, I dated, I dated”. Why did majority of their relationships end in dating after tasting these moral and worthy foreign women? What else are you Nigerian men looking for? 13 Likes 1 Share |
Re: 8 Nigerian Men Talk About Dating Non-nigerians by Starzo: 11:10pm On Aug 02, 2021 |
to be honest ehn,,, present generation of naija young single ladies nor join at all. And I'm not trying to be deliberately cruel towards our own but, once you started communicating with and dating foreign girls ehn, Nigerian girls no go interest you again. 6 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: 8 Nigerian Men Talk About Dating Non-nigerians by Starzo: 11:14pm On Aug 02, 2021 |
pocohantas:and they didn't say they came back to wife Nigerian girls either Many still marry/date Nigerian girls cuz they've never had the privilege/chance of dating the foreign ones. Once they do, there ain't no coming back to the shit we're offered here. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: 8 Nigerian Men Talk About Dating Non-nigerians by pocohantas(f): 11:14pm On Aug 02, 2021 |
Starzo: I would say the same thing if I am stuck in a 3rd world country and looking for how to japa. The question is, do you interest them? Or are you the only one fascinated by this communication? Because I am wondering why you guys come back with more foreign graves than model looking foreign women. 8 Likes 4 Shares
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Re: 8 Nigerian Men Talk About Dating Non-nigerians by pocohantas(f): 11:15pm On Aug 02, 2021 |
Starzo: Says the Nigerian man without an international passport. 8 Likes 1 Share |
Re: 8 Nigerian Men Talk About Dating Non-nigerians by Starzo: 11:22pm On Aug 02, 2021 |
pocohantas:you don't know me 2 Likes |
Re: 8 Nigerian Men Talk About Dating Non-nigerians by pocohantas(f): 11:24pm On Aug 02, 2021 |
Starzo: I don’t know irrelevancies. 5 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: 8 Nigerian Men Talk About Dating Non-nigerians by Starzo: 11:26pm On Aug 02, 2021 |
pocohantas:you don't know the kind of people (females) I attract and row with. And she must not be a white woman for her to be termed 'foreign'. Girls from other countries in Africa still have far better character than the ones we have here. Those ones still be foreign too. 4 Likes |
Re: 8 Nigerian Men Talk About Dating Non-nigerians by Starzo: 11:29pm On Aug 02, 2021 |
pocohantas:relevance is relative to the validator. Shoe get size. Know your size Even agbero get oga 2 Likes |
Re: 8 Nigerian Men Talk About Dating Non-nigerians by pocohantas(f): 11:31pm On Aug 02, 2021 |
Starzo: Okwu nkasi obi. Starzo: Yea right. Mungo Park. 5 Likes |
Re: 8 Nigerian Men Talk About Dating Non-nigerians by 1Sharon(f): 11:33pm On Aug 02, 2021 |
Michael's Kenyan girlfriend was masculine. |
Re: 8 Nigerian Men Talk About Dating Non-nigerians by Starzo: 11:33pm On Aug 02, 2021 |
pocohantas: |
Re: 8 Nigerian Men Talk About Dating Non-nigerians by Starzo: 11:33pm On Aug 02, 2021 |
pocohantas:your fada there |
Re: 8 Nigerian Men Talk About Dating Non-nigerians by pocohantas(f): 11:36pm On Aug 02, 2021 |
Starzo: This is how you take and be rowing with foreign girls? Better deworm yourself of this attitude before you even apply for a Nigerian passport. Else you land in jail over there. 4 Likes |
Re: 8 Nigerian Men Talk About Dating Non-nigerians by Starzo: 11:40pm On Aug 02, 2021 |
pocohantas: Your fada there ×2 And I don dey row with foreign babes long long before I join nairaland sef. From London to Italy to Russia to south Africa to Sierra Leone. Dem love the boy die. Dem say I too make sense. 1 Like |
Re: 8 Nigerian Men Talk About Dating Non-nigerians by pocohantas(f): 11:44pm On Aug 02, 2021 |
Starzo: Well, like you said, Relevance is relative to the validator. So I wouldn’t know what sense they saw in you. 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: 8 Nigerian Men Talk About Dating Non-nigerians by 1Sharon(f): 11:44pm On Aug 02, 2021 |
Starzo: LOL |
Re: 8 Nigerian Men Talk About Dating Non-nigerians by Starzo: 11:46pm On Aug 02, 2021 |
pocohantas: I nor blame you at all na only who get sense fit see sense in others Abeg make I sleep Betting companies wan do me strong thing but my God nor go gree for them |
Re: 8 Nigerian Men Talk About Dating Non-nigerians by GeneralPula: 7:25am On Aug 03, 2021 |
pocohantas: Jamboree question.. That we’re dating doesn’t automatically means we’ll get married & that we won’t get married doesn’t mean we can’t have a great date. Marriage requires strong chemistry which may not evolve between the 2 love birds while dating.. Unlike naija girls that once they sensed you have money, the goal is to enforce you directly or indirectly to marry them.. Nigeria men are looking for women with moral & manners - something that’s almost extinct already in Nigeria.. 1 Like |
Re: 8 Nigerian Men Talk About Dating Non-nigerians by Sonnobax15(m): 7:27am On Aug 03, 2021 |
Re: 8 Nigerian Men Talk About Dating Non-nigerians by lkillbrokehoes: 7:30am On Aug 03, 2021 |
pocohantas:Are you relevant? Perhaps, only on this goddamned faceless forum. 1 Like |
Re: 8 Nigerian Men Talk About Dating Non-nigerians by pocohantas(f): 7:34am On Aug 03, 2021 |
GeneralPula: You still haven’t answered the question. I’ll give you another chance. I guess this strong chemistry that leads to marriage fails 8 out of 10 times in your relationships with these foreign girls, but works out with immoral and mannerless Nigerian girls. Isn’t God wonderful? 7 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: 8 Nigerian Men Talk About Dating Non-nigerians by Nobody: 7:48am On Aug 03, 2021 |
pocohantas:Why are you crying all over this thread? Because most of the men interviewed preferred foreign girls or what? M na-agbalị ịghọta your problem. 2 Likes |
Re: 8 Nigerian Men Talk About Dating Non-nigerians by pocohantas(f): 7:50am On Aug 03, 2021 |
Activist001: This is a forum, where people express their views. Why you see that as crying is what should be addressed. So, why are you crying that I am posting my views? 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: 8 Nigerian Men Talk About Dating Non-nigerians by Nobody: 7:55am On Aug 03, 2021 |
pocohantas:You have almost 10 replies on this thread which translates to this - you're pained one way or the othed (I call it crying). Lol. Just leave people to do what they want. Most of what was said in that post of Nigerian women vs foreign women is true to the teeth and that's a fact. There are many ways Nigerian women are also better that those foreign women too though. 4 Likes |
Re: 8 Nigerian Men Talk About Dating Non-nigerians by averageguy(m): 7:58am On Aug 03, 2021 |
This is interesting because I can kinda see what some of these guys are talking about. I feel like as a culture, we Nigerians tend not to be emotionally expressive, which could be difficult for a partner in a relationship. So, for some ladies, they would never talk about what they really want, and if they are offended, they give you the silent treatment and expect you to figure it out. The one that baffled me most is when you ask a lady out once and she says no, but really wants the guy to try harder. In my head, no always means no, and it's difficult to understand why you won't say try harder if that's what you mean. However, many Nigerians tend to have a higher level of loyalty because our culture exalts the trait and once they're committed, they really give you their all. It's also a lot easier to relate to someone who understands your background and family culture. All in all, there's tendencies we have as a culture (both male and female), and we sometimes have to work harder through those tendencies to be better partners. 2 Likes |
Re: 8 Nigerian Men Talk About Dating Non-nigerians by pocohantas(f): 7:59am On Aug 03, 2021 |
Activist001: I am not stopping them from doing what they want. I am asking questions that none of you have been able to answer. Maybe you can skip the usual ad hominem and attempt the questions. I am waiting… 6 Likes 2 Shares
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Re: 8 Nigerian Men Talk About Dating Non-nigerians by Nobody: 8:04am On Aug 03, 2021 |
pocohantas:And what are the questions you're asking? |
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