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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One (40308 Views)
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Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by bukhety(f): 3:42am On Aug 06, 2021 |
Maxime10:it can never end well. Pls leave before u start paying for mental evaluation. 2 Likes |
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by bepositive11: 3:46am On Aug 06, 2021 |
bigcee: How do you handle him? 1 Like |
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by BRATISLAVA: 3:49am On Aug 06, 2021 |
Cousin9999: Isn't that the character of a narc? To think they can change another person to suit themselves? Most men are narcissists, and they call it being born to lead. 3 Likes |
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by bukhety(f): 3:54am On Aug 06, 2021 |
bepositive11:Ignore, ignore, ignore. Don't give them the attention they seek. Don't allow them to give u s!hit cos of you want peace. Though, they enjoy trouble, don't buy into their facade. Maintain your stance. Be ready to play a lot of mind game, they are very good at it. Be observant and never let your guard down. If they tell you good morning, check the time,they might be lying, they are very good liars and manipulators. Always playing victim. Last but not the least, stay far away, if possible. You will save your mental health! 4 Likes |
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by bepositive11: 3:54am On Aug 06, 2021 |
chatinent: Is that really peace of mind? How does holding grudges against people give you peace of mind? When people wrong you, isn't it better to work together to resolve the issues or to end the relationship? There was this story I read. A woman married with 3 kids thought everything was ok. All of a sudden, one day, the husband packed his bags and said he was done. He had been holding in all that was wrong, building resentment until he couldn't take it any longer. Sounds like something you would do No one's perfect and people make mistakes. In relationships, what matters most is being open and honest and growing to be better partners for each other. Of course, things like cheating is unacceptable. But for other issues, if you just hold them in, you'll never resolve the issue and resentment will keep building. Your partner wouldn't know what's wrong either 6 Likes |
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by bepositive11: 3:55am On Aug 06, 2021 |
pansophist: How do you deal with them well? |
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by bepositive11: 3:56am On Aug 06, 2021 |
Weathered: People attracted to narcissists actually have codependency issues |
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by bepositive11: 3:56am On Aug 06, 2021 |
Simeonjoe1: It's good that you're aware. Building a strong sense of self would really help you |
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by bepositive11: 3:57am On Aug 06, 2021 |
InvertedHammer: Do you by chance have any of the traits listed in OP's post? 2 Likes |
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by bepositive11: 4:12am On Aug 06, 2021 |
Cousin9999: I agree with a lot of your points. Dysfunction is indeed the root cause of many problems in our society. Yet, it's overlooked. People are coming up with all sorts of policies to address them, but the problem is they're not addressing the root of the problem -- dysfunction Regarding your points on narcissists, toxic people and sociopaths, first of all, narcissists and sociopaths are different and they both never change. I think it's important to be able to identify the differences between narcissists and people with a few toxic traits. You sound like someone with a strong sense of self, so it'll be easier for you to identify them and cut them off. Sadly though, many can't. People with a weaker sense of self are codependent so it's not easy for them to identify negative behaviours and move on. Write ups like OP's are for people like them. 2 Likes |
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by bepositive11: 4:14am On Aug 06, 2021 |
Youngpo413: Live a life of wealth and misery? It's not worth it. Peace of mind is priceless 3 Likes |
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by bepositive11: 4:15am On Aug 06, 2021 |
Benard5050: It's good that you're aware. Work on building a strong sense of self and these traits will gradually disappear |
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by bepositive11: 4:16am On Aug 06, 2021 |
abbey621: Do you have the traits described in OP's post? |
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by bepositive11: 4:17am On Aug 06, 2021 |
YorubaNinja: A very very big one at that! It's amazing how so many people were mesmerized by him! Yet, he's a very toxic person! 2 Likes |
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by bepositive11: 4:22am On Aug 06, 2021 |
bukhety: Thanks for sharing! Very true. At the end of the day, it's better to just stay away and have peace of mind 1 Like |
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by Nobody: 4:32am On Aug 06, 2021 |
NoFucksToGive:not everyone is on YouTube and dating websites 1 Like |
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by abbey621(m): 4:34am On Aug 06, 2021 |
bepositive11: Yes we all do to a degree! While the traits that the OP used were in extreme forms, try and picture some of those traits in simpler everyday use. A frustated husband, a depressed wife, a boss on your neck to meet project deadline etc. |
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by Regex: 4:50am On Aug 06, 2021 |
pansophist: What is INFJ? I had a housemate/friend who is a narc. He suffers from victim syndrome. Thinks everyone is after him. The very youngest but wants to control the house. The perfect chameleon, you will never suspect. Dude is very vengeful and that will be his undoing. I started being indifferent to him, and it killed him. He usually disturbs the whole house with music, one day he came out the back of the house with his phone playing music right under my window, I had my window closed due to the cold, omo, I opened it wide to get some air, I noticed the music didn't last 2 minutes and he went inside. Then I realized, normally when he plays his music so loud, other people shut their windows, and he continues to play it even louder, that means his aim is to disturb. I guess me opening my windows told him, I am enjoying the music... Anywho, they're the worst set of people to have anything to do with. If you don't align with them, you are an enemy. If they can't control you, you are enemy. Always the victim yet the 100% perpetrator. 6 Likes |
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by bepositive11: 4:52am On Aug 06, 2021 |
abbey621: There's a big difference between people who have some fleas (narcissistic traits) and people who are truly narcissists. People with fleas can grow and change but true narcissists never change. They remain the same. They would do everything to justify their behaviours and blame everyone else but themselves Narcissists ruin people's lives and mental wellbeing. Not everyone is a narcissist 5 Likes |
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by ozonechrome: 5:14am On Aug 06, 2021 |
SmartyPants: She may not be far from the truth by your name. They have a grandiose sense of self wrapped in insecurity. Always think they are better than everyone else and doing people favours by being with them or in their team. 5 Likes |
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by nokspos: 5:39am On Aug 06, 2021 |
one good thing about them is that , they always do well in life, they are the best in their field. They could also fall in love for you from zero and rise to 100 within one day. They would give you all the support you want in life during that period they are loving you. I just love to take an advantage of them during that period, coz they get angry easily and the next thing their love is back to zero. Ladylawyer: 2 Likes |
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by abbey621(m): 5:44am On Aug 06, 2021 |
bepositive11: We are saying the same thing, everyone has narcissistic traits, everyone has the tendencies to grow into true narcissists. I disagree with you saying not everyone is a narcissist, if you have the traits you have the tendencies. Just like we all have the potential to love, to be happy, to be sad, to prosper or become useless but potential does not equate manifestation. I'll give you a real life example, a guy I know was a very good guy in school, never missed church, did not drink or party. He graduated, got a job, married and was blessed with 3 kids, fast forward 10 years later, man has been unemployed for over 2 years, his wife is constantly lamenting because he turned into a chronic drinker, man no longer goes to church, shouts with the slightest of provocation and monitors his wife like an hawk. This young man with so much potential and the elast likely to misbehave is now the joke of the town. Was he born a narcissist or did life expose and grew his narcissistic traits? |
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by newdawn2017(f): 5:56am On Aug 06, 2021 |
Dliquidmetal:dis is d first to ue redemption. Now get help, u can follow dis page on ig @afriproud 1 Like |
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by skedy1(m): 6:20am On Aug 06, 2021 |
OP Na it be say all these girls for Calabar na Narcissists them be. All of them! |
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by Cousin9999: 7:05am On Aug 06, 2021 |
bepositive11: I never said they were the same. I said that a sociopath can hide who they are, but not a narcissist or toxic person. And narcissists can change. It's just that they rarely get treatment. NPD, according to experts, comes from coping behaviors and defenses people develop in difficult situations. If someone is mature and aware enough to essentially reprogram themselves, they're capable of healthy relationships. I think it's important to be able to identify the differences between narcissists and people with a few toxic traits. I think it's dangerous to describe toxic behavior as "a few toxic traits." That's like saying "a little bit pregnant." Obviously, no one is perfect. But everyone should be on a path of self-improvement. Both the narcissist and person with "a few toxic traits" have work to do. People with a weaker sense of self are codependent so it's not easy for them to identify negative behaviours and move on. I don't think sense of self or "codependency" motivates those poor choices. I think they ironically suffer from many of the same problems as the narcissist, but develop different maladaptive patterns. They basically need to reprogram too. |
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by Nobody: 7:17am On Aug 06, 2021 |
abbey621:that's a narcissist ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by Nobody: 7:28am On Aug 06, 2021 |
Chawoan:will you break up while you can or are you waiting to break up after he's completely broken you down? Because let me tell you HE WILL BREAK YOU DOWN. ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by Nobody: 7:32am On Aug 06, 2021 |
bukhety:you described my father. And my mom is an educated empath. Before when he throws tantrums at not getting his way, she'd be very worried and move heaven and earth to make him happy. Nowadays, she doesn't even send him. He throw tantrums, he tire. ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by bukatyne(f): 7:42am On Aug 06, 2021 |
BRATISLAVA: @bold: By nature or nurture? |
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by chatinent: 7:54am On Aug 06, 2021 |
bepositive11: Yeah, but mine is different. It wouldn't reach marriage. |
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by SmartyPants(m): 8:14am On Aug 06, 2021 |
1 Like |
Re: Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One by SmartyPants(m): 8:15am On Aug 06, 2021 |
ozonechrome: Oh well.. someone has to be abnormal for the rest of mankind to feel normal ![]() |
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