abbey621:


Yes we all do to a degree! While the traits that the OP used were in extreme forms, try and picture some of those traits in simpler everyday use. A frustated husband, a depressed wife, a boss on your neck to meet project deadline etc.

It's the extreme degree that it's been discussed. The truth is most who are denying this trait have never met one.. Wo! You will understand why Yoruba say"aye pe gba". This life is up to 200!

Regex:



What is INFJ?

I had a housemate/friend who is a narc. He suffers from victim syndrome. Thinks everyone is after him. The very youngest but wants to control the house. The perfect chameleon, you will never suspect. Dude is very vengeful and that will be his undoing.


I started being indifferent to him, and it killed him. He usually disturbs the whole house with music, one day he came out the back of the house with his phone playing music right under my window, I had my window closed due to the cold, omo, I opened it wide to get some air, I noticed the music didn't last 2 minutes and he went inside.


Then I realized, normally when he plays his music so loud, other people shut their windows, and he continues to play it even louder, that means his aim is to disturb. I guess me opening my windows told him, I am enjoying the music...

Anywho, they're the worst set of people to have anything to do with. If you don't align with them, you are an enemy. If they can't control you, you are enemy. Always the victim yet the 100% perpetrator.

You just described them! They are the same everywhere, walahi!

abbey621:


We are saying the same thing, everyone has narcissistic traits, everyone has the tendencies to grow into true narcissists. I disagree with you saying not everyone is a narcissist, if you have the traits you have the tendencies. Just like we all have the potential to love, to be happy, to be sad, to prosper or become useless but potential does not equate manifestation.

I'll give you a real life example, a guy I know was a very good guy in school, never missed church, did not drink or party. He graduated, got a job, married and was blessed with 3 kids, fast forward 10 years later, man has been unemployed for over 2 years, his wife is constantly lamenting because he turned into a chronic drinker, man no longer goes to church, shouts with the slightest of provocation and monitors his wife like an hawk.

This young man with so much potential and the elast likely to misbehave is now the joke of the town. Was he born a narcissist or did life expose and grew his narcissistic traits?

This true life experience you just painted is a man frustrated and going through a phase. Give him a well paying job and things will likely change. A narc does not need any frustrating situation. He creates one. Wo! I don't know how to describe it. I pray you never meet one. They are crazy!

Regex:



What is INFJ?

I had a housemate/friend who is a narc. He suffers from victim syndrome. Thinks everyone is after him. The very youngest but wants to control the house. The perfect chameleon, you will never suspect. Dude is very vengeful and that will be his undoing.


I started being indifferent to him, and it killed him. He usually disturbs the whole house with music, one day he came out the back of the house with his phone playing music right under my window, I had my window closed due to the cold, omo, I opened it wide to get some air, I noticed the music didn't last 2 minutes and he went inside.


Then I realized, normally when he plays his music so loud, other people shut their windows, and he continues to play it even louder, that means his aim is to disturb. I guess me opening my windows told him, I am enjoying the music...

Anywho, they're the worst set of people to have anything to do with. If you don't align with them, you are an enemy. If they can't control you, you are enemy. Always the victim yet the 100% perpetrator.

INFJ is one of the 16 different personalities type. You may read about them here

https://www.16personalities.com/infj-personality

Yes. I've dealt dealt two narcissist in the past, an envious friend and one crush like that. Their strategy are the same. They have this obsessive need to control you, with a messed up emotional state. They can just get angry instantly with such intensity you'll begin to wonder if you killed their mum. I've trained myself to know them from afar. One can't navigate this world competently if one is not knowledgeable about this demons. When I see them for what they are, henceforth, it's proper ghosting.

The two antidote to destroy a narcissistic idiot is indifference and success. It kills them literarily inside. If na woman, get a hotter one. If na man, just keep doing better. I can guarantee that their life will always be a mess, because they externalises everything, won't work hard and always manipulate the world to fit their delusion. A bad recipe for disaster.

Dliquidmetal:
I think I have some of this traits but not all

The fact that you are able to publicly admit certain flaws you have is commendable. A narcissist would excuse these behaviors. Infact, they wouldn't even admit their errs.

bepositive11:


How do you deal with them well?

Success and indifference. Simple, yet a potent weapon that destroy their whole existence. Don't revenge, its for the weak. Dont insult, its childish. Don't.engage, they are not rational. Just ignore them in such a way that makes them questions their existence. Don't be emotional, don't be reactive, infact to deal with them simply means not relating in any form with them.

They can't stand this. I'll tell you something. The opposite of love is not hate, is indifference. That your heart don't even have the strength or energy to hate, punishment and more. They are so useless that you can't afford to even hate them. Their whole existence in itself is suffering. Humans will rather be hated than treated with indifference. The proverb "success is the best revenge is meant for narcs".

That's how you dealt with those emotional demons. You, the healthy one is their worst nightmare. They are sick and can't be cured, so why bother? They only need a reaction from you to cause mayhem. Doesn't matter if you're right, engagement is all they need. Starve them that, and dear friend, that's how you deal deal these narcissistic motherforkers.

BRATISLAVA:


I feel any personality can be drawn to narcissism, because it's a mental state.

Yes but a tougher adversary is one with an INFJ personalities. The INFJ are natural psychologist, have an extra sensory perception than the average person, are naturally brilliant to such a degree and highly empathetic. They are emotionally aware, and see the world in a dimension that others can not see. They are super analytical, and can spot danger from afar.

They notice pattern and cruise mentally in a level most people don't even know existed. They are linguistically blessed, a goal getter and hold themselves to such a high degree of accountability. People like (MLK, Mandela, Carl Jung,) are examples of INFJ personalities. See those folks? You don't mess with them. They are naturally kind, like the messiah of the masses because their life journey is mostly tied with the salvation of humanity, but also, they are a force to reckon with if they want to use their natural skills for the force of evil.

Narcs target and love this INFJ kind, because narcs typically are drawn to people they can drain from, but the opposite side of these INFJ folks is their ability to sense things and too smart for a dumb narcs, because narcs are dumb. A well-educated, articulate INFJ person is like a hot pot melting a butter, narcs hate them. Also, it's important to note that INFJ personality types are rare, they make up like two percent of humanity.

People like NMK is an INFJ, I have diagnosed him from afar and he possesse such qualities, he sees things others do not see, and opened Nigerian eyes to the workings of the government, hence he has to be extradited even under extra ordinary rendition. If an INFJ decides to torment you, only a bullet in their head, or your God will save you. Read more about them, you'll be marvelled. So to these folks narcs are amateur, just wasting their time on a perceived victim that is too big to bully.

It's appalling that what we've now is a generation of people that has access to many information but with little knowledge, understanding, discernment, and principle.

The attributes of narcissism remain selfishness and piousness/sanctimoniousness, and with manifesting attitudes of hypocrisy, insatiableness, and nagging.

Funnily, up to 90 percent of the contributors on this thread have shown that they possess these hallmarks of narcissism and are narcissists, while the negligible naive few might be on their ways to destroy their relationships with their partners due to acquired misinformation.

HRSweetness:


The fact that you are able to publicly admit certain flaws you have is commendable. A narcissist would excuse these behaviors. Infact, they wouldn't even admit their errs.

well with my job you must always look at your self and admit your flaws or else you wont progress so I'm always looking at myself to know how much more to better myself and it works so far.

pansophist:


INFJ is one of the 16 different personalities type. You may read about them here

https://www.16personalities.com/infj-personality

Yes. I've dealt dealt two narcissist in the past, an envious friend and one crush like that. Their strategy are the same. They have this obsessive need to control you, with a messed up emotional state. They can just get angry instantly with such intensity you'll begin to wonder if you killed their mum. I've trained myself to know them from afar. One can't navigate this world competently if one is not knowledgeable about this demons. When I see them for what they are, henceforth, it's proper ghosting.

The two antidote to destroy a narcissistic idiot is indifference and success. It kills them literarily inside. If na woman, get a hotter one. If na man, just keep doing better. I can guarantee that their life will always be a mess, because they externalises everything, won't work hard and always manipulate the world to fit their delusion. A bad recipe for disaster.

Exactly. He is at ground zero. He's parents kicked him out of their house and life to have peace.

dannyrhymes600:

You go pay?

i will pay...

bukhety:

You just described them! They are the same everywhere, walahi!

I never knew such personality existed, I first heard of it on this platform but I didn't believe it. Till I had a first hand experience.

Bayaar02:
People tend to be narcissistic along the way when they start to know their partner the more.

Are you sure about this?

abbey621:


We are saying the same thing, everyone has narcissistic traits, everyone has the tendencies to grow into true narcissists. I disagree with you saying not everyone is a narcissist, if you have the traits you have the tendencies. Just like we all have the potential to love, to be happy, to be sad, to prosper or become useless but potential does not equate manifestation.

I'll give you a real life example, a guy I know was a very good guy in school, never missed church, did not drink or party. He graduated, got a job, married and was blessed with 3 kids, fast forward 10 years later, man has been unemployed for over 2 years, his wife is constantly lamenting because he turned into a chronic drinker, man no longer goes to church, shouts with the slightest of provocation and monitors his wife like an hawk.

This young man with so much potential and the elast likely to misbehave is now the joke of the town. Was he born a narcissist or did life expose and grew his narcissistic traits?

(afterthought: we are saying the same thing to an extent but not 100%)

We are not saying the same thing. Not everyone is a narcissist.

Narcissists lack empathy. They can never change because they can never see what they're doing wrong. They can never understand the implications of their actions on others.

Having a few narcissistic traits doesn't make you a narcissist because you have empathy, you can sense how your actions are affecting your loved ones, and you can change them. Narcissists can't. They have no empathy

Narcissism usually results from abuse, neglect, abandonment, etc., so yes, if exposed to such toxic environments, anyone can become a narcissist. Especially if exposed as a child because children are very vulnerable and dependent on their parents.

I have encountered a true narcissist myself. They are not normal human beings. Until you encounter one, you won't understand. You have to get closer to see how abnormal they are. They usually wear a mask to fool you

Love, happy, sad -- those are emotions. Narcissism is a personality disorder

About your example, just because life is going well for someone doesn't mean that everything is going well on the inside. The young man you talked about, try learning more about him. There's a lot more to his story

Also, he must have been wearing a mask. Men like him usually act like angels to get the woman, when they get her commitment, the mask falls off because they no longer have to pretend. They've gotten what they want

nokspos:
one good thing about them is that , they always do well in life, they are the best in their field. They could also fall in love for you from zero and rise to 100 within one day. They would give you all the support you want in life during that period they are loving you. I just love to take an advantage of them during that period, coz they get angry easily and the next thing their love is back to zero.

This is true to an extent but there are so many of them that are not successful in their field. Once you meet those ones , they will project their failures on you and make you loose yourself in the process.

Regex:



What is INFJ?

I had a housemate/friend who is a narc. He suffers from victim syndrome. Thinks everyone is after him. The very youngest but wants to control the house. The perfect chameleon, you will never suspect. Dude is very vengeful and that will be his undoing.


I started being indifferent to him, and it killed him. He usually disturbs the whole house with music, one day he came out the back of the house with his phone playing music right under my window, I had my window closed due to the cold, omo, I opened it wide to get some air, I noticed the music didn't last 2 minutes and he went inside.


Then I realized, normally when he plays his music so loud, other people shut their windows, and he continues to play it even louder, that means his aim is to disturb. I guess me opening my windows told him, I am enjoying the music...

Anywho, they're the worst set of people to have anything to do with. If you don't align with them, you are an enemy. If they can't control you, you are enemy. Always the victim yet the 100% perpetrator.

Honestly its like my first time hearing this

chatinent:


Yeah, but mine is different. It wouldn't reach marriage.

Ok

pansophist:


Success and indifference. Simple, yet a potent weapon that destroy their whole existence. Don't revenge, its for the weak. Dont insult, its childish. Don't.engage, they are not rational. Just ignore them in such a way that makes them questions their existence. Don't be emotional, don't be reactive, infact in simple terms, dealing with them simply means not relating in any form with them.

They can't stand this. I'll tell you something. The opposite of love is not hate, is indifference. That your heart don't even have the strength or energy to hate, punishment and more. They are so useless that you can't afford to even hate them. Their whole existence in itself is suffering. Humans will rather be hated than treated with indifference. The proverb "success is the best revenge is meant for narcs".

That's how you dealt with those emotional demons. You, the healthy one is their worst nightmare. They are sick and can't be cured, so why bother? They only need a reaction from you to cause mayhem. Doesn't matter if you're right, engagement is all they need. Starve them that, and dear friend, that's how you deal deal these narcissistic motherforkers.

Some great points. Thanks for sharing!

On the flip side though, narcissists are very weak. It's ironic

bepositive11:


People attracted to narcissists actually have codependency issues

hmmmm, that's another one.

Great thread! We should all learn and be careful, i.e. we the single people

Married people are already hooked


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Cousin9999:


I never said they were the same. I said that a sociopath can hide who they are, but not a narcissist or toxic person.

And narcissists can change. It's just that they rarely get treatment. NPD, according to experts, comes from coping behaviors and defenses people develop in difficult situations. If someone is mature and aware enough to essentially reprogram themselves, they're capable of healthy relationships.



I think it's dangerous to describe toxic behavior as "a few toxic traits." That's like saying "a little bit pregnant." Obviously, no one is perfect. But everyone should be on a path of self-improvement. Both the narcissist and person with "a few toxic traits" have work to do.



I don't think sense of self or "codependency" motivates those poor choices. I think they ironically suffer from many of the same problems as the narcissist, but develop different maladaptive patterns. They basically need to reprogram too.

Actually, narcissists show their true colours when things don't go their way, when they feel attacked, and so on. They hide who they are at first though to reel in their victim.

Narcissists can't change because they will never have any reason to do so. True narcissists can't change because they lack empathy. They cannot see what they're doing wrong. They can't understand how their actions affect others.

However, there are people with fleas (aka narcissistic traits) who have empathy. These people can change because they have empathy. They can understand how their actions affect other people so they can decide to work on them

I agree with you. Everyone should be on a path of self-improvement. And having a few toxic traits still make you a toxic person, but my point was that the intensity differs between a normal person and a narcissist. Narcissists are abusers that ruin lives.

A person may have some toxic traits but still be able to function in relationships while growing and working on them. Narcissists on the other hand never change. They remain the same. They often get worse with time.

Sense of self and codependency does affect how people choose partners. It's a subconscious thing. And it's true, both codependents and narcissists have a low sense of self but different coping mechanisms. Either way, they're both toxic

Hi

Regex:


I never knew such personality existed, I first heard of it on this platform but I didn't believe it. Till I had a first hand experience.

I stumbled on it on quora after I have suffered much. Information can make the difference. Now na my narc dey wish to discard me.

This iis just exactly my senior bro

Munzy14:

Lol....This question eehhh...

What?

pansophist:


Yes but a tougher adversary is one with an INFJ personalities. The INFJ are natural psychologist, have an extra sensory perception than the average person, are naturally brilliant to such a degree and highly empathetic. They are emotionally aware, and see the world in a dimension that others can not see. They are super analytical, and can spot danger from afar.

They notice pattern and cruise mentally in a level most people don't even know existed. They are linguistically blessed, a goal getter and hold themselves to such a high degree of accountability. People like (MLK, Mandela, Carl Jung,) are examples of INFJ personalities. See those folks? You don't mess with them. They are naturally kind, like the messiah of the masses because their life journey is mostly tied with the salvation of humanity, but also, they are a force to reckon with if they want to use their natural skills for the force of evil.

Narcs target and love this INFJ kind, because narcs typically are drawn to people they can drain from, but the opposite side of these INFJ folks is their ability to sense things and too smart for a dumb narcs, because narcs are dumb. A well-educated, articulate INFJ person is like a hot pot melting a butter, narcs hate them. Also, it's important to note that INFJ personality types are rare, they make up like two percent of humanity.

People like NMK is an INFJ, I have diagnosed him from afar and he possesse such qualities, he sees things others do not see, and opened Nigerian eyes to the workings of the government, hence he has to be extradited even under extra ordinary rendition. If an INFJ decides to torment you, only a bullet in their head, or your God will save you. Read more about them, you'll be marvelled. So to these folks narcs are amateur, just wasting their time on a perceived victim that is too big to bully.

You really want INFJs to beat up all the narcissists out there. Did you encounter anyone who made you aware of them?

I get your point, though. There are some people who see through bullshit immediately, while the rest can take years to catch up to what they know. Especially the ones who can see through character.

bukatyne:


@bold:

By nature or nurture?

Innately they aren't unless they were always one. Have a look at children.

Until societal expectations confines they created for themselves get the better of them, men would be themselves as they were born, not made to be. Left to nature, we would get the same spectrum of men and women.

Unfortunately, religion causes a form of nurture narcissism in males. Followed by cults like the red pill which advocates making men narcs so that they can subjugate women in order to remain "superior". These nurtured people are irrational about it.

Meanwhile society is always nurturing women to be subservient/submissive, to be the supply for the narcs (men). When they don't fit, we hear things like wicked women, egotistic women, masculine women, etc. There's nothing like that.

Nurture it is.

bepositive11:


(afterthought: we are saying the same thing to an extent but not 100%)

We are not saying the same thing. Not everyone is a narcissist.

Narcissists lack empathy. They can never change because they can never see what they're doing wrong. They can never understand the implications of their actions on others.

Having a few narcissistic traits doesn't make you a narcissist because you have empathy, you can sense how your actions are affecting your loved ones, and you can change them. Narcissists can't. They have no empathy

Narcissism usually results from abuse, neglect, abandonment, etc., so yes, if exposed to such toxic environments, anyone can become a narcissist. Especially if exposed as a child because children are very vulnerable and dependent on their parents.

I have encountered a true narcissist myself. They are not normal human beings. Until you encounter one, you won't understand. You have to get closer to see how abnormal they are. They usually wear a mask to fool you

Love, happy, sad -- those are emotions. Narcissism is a personality disorder

About your example, just because life is going well for someone doesn't mean that everything is going well on the inside. The young man you talked about, try learning more about him. There's a lot more to his story

Also, he must have been wearing a mask. Men like him usually act like angels to get the woman, when they get her commitment, the mask falls off because they no longer have to pretend. They've gotten what they want

Having a few narcissistic traits doesn't make you a narcissist because you have empathy

With all due respect, this is bullshit! You can apply your theory to anyone if that's how you want to play it. Having a few traits of a wife beater, does not make you a wife beater, having a few traits of a psychopath does not make you one and having a few traits of genius does not make you one.

About your example, just because life is going well for someone doesn't mean that everything is going well on the inside. The young man you talked about, try learning more about him. There's a lot more to his story

You proved my point again, his narcissistic traits were dormant for a long time and only became activated through a series of life events. You just said people who exhibit narcissistic traits are not narcissists, sounds like you're contradicting yourself. The guy definitely had a lot of empathy while we were in school, from organizing feeding of the poor to orphanage cleanup and donations. Guy was voted most liked student for 3 years in a row and fought for women's rights as an activist. So according to your definition, he couldn't poissibly be a narcissists right?

bukhety:

This true life experience you just painted is a man frustrated and going through a phase. Give him a well paying job and things will likely change. A narc does not need any frustrating situation. He creates one. Wo! I don't know how to describe it. I pray you never meet one. They are crazy!

But who is truly a narc? Human behavior is complex and what most of us see is only at the superficial level, even the greatest of psychologists cannot pin point the exact cause of narcissism. Can you differentiate between a psychopath and a narc? How about someone that is bipolar and someone that is narcissistic?

Lollittaa:

that's a narcissist

E dey happen something jaare.....my wife wey her birthday is also around valentine's day and our anniversary day will expect 3 separate and worthy gifts, if I try combine them na wahala

Dliquidmetal:
well with my job you must always look at your self and admit your flaws or else you wont progress so I'm always looking at myself to know how much more to better myself and it works so far.

Admirable. What do you do, if you don't mind my asking.

samuel19222:
Damnnn niggarrr issoright, too long to read, na to be alpha pay pass

Typical Nigerian, enough time for irrelevant things but little interest in reading.
Plz, don't see this as an insult, but grasp all tge wisdom in it