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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Travel / Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant (1385549 Views)
Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) / Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) / Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant Part 2 (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by Rubyventures: 10:13am On Aug 12, 2021 |
oluayebenz: Marriage is not a do or die affair, but when you have lived in Nigeria which is a male dominated country and now relocate to somewhere like the UK . Tt is difficult and you have got to work at it, as long as there is no kind of violence, abuse or infidelity going on. At least when you finally give it up you will know that you gave it your best shot. 12 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by KOVIC19COVID20: 10:24am On Aug 12, 2021 |
oluayebenz: Marriage in itself is not a do-or-die affair. Divorce (or separation) in the UK, for an immigrant man (or indeed woman), who has “No Recourse to Public Funds” may not be a die-affair, but I assure you, it is a coma/fainting/traumatic affair… by the time you factor in 2 children, it is a DIE affair. Take this from someone speaking from personal experience. 7 Likes |
Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by justwise(m): 11:36am On Aug 12, 2021 |
topellycategory: Bless you. Nobody should be encouraged to stay in marriage when you have tried and it’s not working out. For your own sake and that of the children please move on! Staying in a toxic marriage will have negative effects on the children. Your love alone is not enough to make marriage work if one partner is not willing, and begging is just waste of time and energy. 6 Likes |
Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by RalphJean: 11:49am On Aug 12, 2021 |
A wife gets a job and moves to the UK First. She hustles and hustles and because she loves her family, she ensured they all join her. Husband (and 2 children) arrive in October 2020. By August 2021 (less than 9 months), they have a misunderstanding. The man comes on a public platform to air his grievances. Without knowing the FULL story of the circumstances. Without hearing the wife's side. Without details of what dispute resolution steps the couple have taken Without any first hand experience of what a broken marriage means for a couple (especially the man who could very soon be rendered an overstayer). Some folks be coming here and advising husband to 'Move on' as though it's easy for a 40+ man with two children to just pack bags and 'Move on'. The kind of things yo see on Nairaland sha.... 18 Likes |
Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by Lexusgs430: 11:53am On Aug 12, 2021 |
justwise: Infact, begging is a desperate measure .......... And would be used against the other party, when any situation, presents itself ........ 2 Likes |
Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by Lexusgs430: 11:55am On Aug 12, 2021 |
RalphJean: Send a message to the wife, to report herself to nairaland panel ........... 4 Likes |
Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by Owlette: 12:05pm On Aug 12, 2021 |
No, I don’t. I’m moving to Newcastle next week and I’m trying to sort out my accommodation. elisinho: |
Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by TrumpsWall: 12:17pm On Aug 12, 2021 |
And you decided to dig through his past posts for things you know nothing about .. . The kind of things you see on Nairaland sha . OP sought advice of his chances of switching to another visa regardless of what happens just like most ppl have done on this platform including you RalphJean: 7 Likes |
Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by Myrage2: 12:23pm On Aug 12, 2021 |
The man should beg, plead, roll on the floor to solve an issue 40+ man And he will have to BEG, PLEAD, ROLL ON THE FLOOR FOR the next 30-40 years of his life.. Life no balance 6 Likes |
Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by justwise(m): 12:48pm On Aug 12, 2021 |
Lexusgs430: What an insult! A mature married man begging the wife to allow him into their home ? All because his visa is dependent on hers? Ridiculous! Will she try that in Nigeria? What next ? Wipe her backside so as to stay in the UK? Nonsense! 13 Likes |
Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by icon8: 1:58pm On Aug 12, 2021 |
KOVIC19COVID20: Double your hustle, bro. That is the poverty mentality in you speaking. If God blesses your hustle, taking a very good care of your 2 children won’t seem a DIE affair to you, with or without a wife. What does it cost to properly raise a child in the UK per annum? Is that worth sacrificing one’s life or peace of mind over? 4 Likes |
Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by icon8: 2:02pm On Aug 12, 2021 |
Myrage2: Lol what’s the worst that can happen? Go back to Nigeria? Is that a death sentence? Folks here acting like the poor man’s life depends on staying in the UK at all cost? If it’s no longer working and all effort proves futile, is going back home not an option? I’m sure he wasn’t a beggar back in Nigeria and will return a better prospect than the man who came here a year ago. But yeah, he should keep begging and subject himself to eternal slavery in a loveless marriage that has already ended, all in the name of visa sponsorship. Is the sponsor God? Fia! 4 Likes |
Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by icon8: 2:06pm On Aug 12, 2021 |
justwise: I never agree with Justwise on anything, but I’m afraid I have to agree with you on this one. At the end of the day, the man understands his situation better than any of us, but no one - man or woman - has to beg to be in a marriage. If the other party is no longer willing, what’s the point of begging? 6 Likes |
Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by Tier4Dependant: 2:07pm On Aug 12, 2021 |
Now this is scary...... I need to shine my eye, no sleeping. Relocating with my wife to the uk next month, we don buy our tickets already. Wifey is on student visa and I am her dependant. Man’s status gas to be independent. All this dependant status is not encouraging mehn. 3 Likes |
Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by sen2paco: 2:10pm On Aug 12, 2021 |
girlsupersonic: Are you renewing from the UK? If so, I can tell you to go to London office, Nigeria High Commission. Print out your application form, acknowledgement form, payment confirmation slip, go to post office, purchase a postal order amount of 120£ payable to Nigeria High Commission, buy a special delivery postal bag it’s like grey and self address it, take your old passport along. Proceed to the Nigeria house for a walk in(fast track). Get there quickly as u will meet a long queue. Get there around 7am or 8am if you could. They will start letting people in around 9.15 I got in around 9.15 and was done about 11.30am. 9 Likes 6 Shares |
Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by icon8: 2:13pm On Aug 12, 2021 |
Tier4Dependant: SHINE YOUR EYES!!! LIke Baba Lexus said, oju ni alakan fi’n shø ori. A word is enough for the wise. All your bills should be in both names, including your tenancy agreement and you must have documented evidence of joint responsibility for your kids and day to day running of the home. No sending money to mummy to pay rent from her account and take care of the kids/home/etc. Marriages do go wrong and awful. While you do not plan for yours to go south, you must make conscious effort to be prepared for it, if it ever happens. Otherwise, sorry is the case! 3 Likes |
Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by Adazeal: 2:13pm On Aug 12, 2021 |
Mamatukwas:Hi mamatukwas, I sent a PM to you. Please, kindly reply. |
Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by fatima04: 2:15pm On Aug 12, 2021 |
Owlette: It's possible to commute from Sunderland to Newcastle, and houses are relatively cheaper there |
Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by girlsupersonic(f): 2:15pm On Aug 12, 2021 |
sen2paco: Thank you. Yes I'm in the UK. Can i buy the postal order from any post office? Or does it have to be the one close to the High commission? |
Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by icon8: 2:16pm On Aug 12, 2021 |
RalphJean: And you concluded that the husband was not the financial ‘sponsor’ from Nigeria? How did you know for certain that the man did not spend his life savings to ‘sponsor’ the wife here in the first place? Or did you assume he was the parasite that contributed nothing to the process? I have a friend currently spending all his life savings and even aborrowing to finance the relocation of the wife and children here, hoping to join them sometime in the future. And I’m here thinking if that is actually a smart move. He’s selling everything he has as we speak, just to be able to provide a ‘better life’ for his family. 1 Like |
Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by fatima04: 2:16pm On Aug 12, 2021 |
justwise: If a couple has a misunderstanding or issues in their union, do you believe in resolution at all or just give up? 1 Like |
Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by fatima04: 2:18pm On Aug 12, 2021 |
justwise: Just curious if tables were turned would you want the woman to beg to keep her home or just move on. Unions with kids aren't so easy to just pack up laik that oo. 6 Likes |
Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by sen2paco: 2:21pm On Aug 12, 2021 |
girlsupersonic: Any post office |
Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by icon8: 2:22pm On Aug 12, 2021 |
fatima04: ‘Misunderstanding’ that has led to eviction from my home? That’s not a misunderstanding ma’am. Anyone that attempts to render me homeless and/or physically separate me from my children is an enemy, and will be so treated! 8 Likes |
Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by fatima04: 2:23pm On Aug 12, 2021 |
icon8: Depends on the child you want to raise A. Nursery alone for 1 child on the average is £10k per annum; B. Child upkeep, dressing etc depends on if you want designer or asd C. Extracurricular like football training, swimming, taekwando etc D. If you want to save for private school another, thats another story. Not supporting being in abusive, loveless marriage or anything and we don't know the extent of the issues here or who is at fault anyways, but in raising a family 2 100% present is good if that's possible. 1 Like |
Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by fatima04: 2:24pm On Aug 12, 2021 |
icon8: Lol easy to say to go back to naija , when people are marrying for papers. Ish 2 Likes |
Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by icon8: 2:27pm On Aug 12, 2021 |
fatima04: Didn’t say he should go back. Of course, there are other windows open to him. But going back is hardly a death sentence like some would make it seem, is it? |
Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by fatima04: 2:28pm On Aug 12, 2021 |
Tier4Dependant: Don't be scared, working together as a couple is ideal and forget the noise. There are loads of people doing okay regardless of visa status, financial positions etc. 2 Likes
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Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by fatima04: 2:32pm On Aug 12, 2021 |
icon8: How certain are you the wife is not also contributing. Sometimes being an outsider doesn't mean you have the true picture of how their financial life works. A lot of women are contributing to relocating and it will seem na only the man. At the end of the day it all depends on the strength of the union. |
Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by fatima04: 2:36pm On Aug 12, 2021 |
icon8: But in this case you don't know what led to eviction, and not to conclude doubt he was homeless as well. Leaving the house doesn't mean the end of a relationship. It could actually mean the beginning of saving a relationship. Moving to enemy mode swiftly with someone you share kids sha, someone you probably claimed to love tori torun. 2 Likes |
Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by fatima04: 2:40pm On Aug 12, 2021 |
icon8: Absolutely, and one of those windows is saving his marriage, someone advised involving pastors or imam which isn't a bad idea. Courts and Tribunal na the last stage of dispute resolution oo, first try Negotiation since e don happen, Mediation etc before we now end up for litigation or Tribunal. Even if na naija dey wan divorce they will have to stay together for 2yrs before Courts can even make a decision. Believe there is a similar requirement in Canada as well |
Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by TosinKate(f): 3:21pm On Aug 12, 2021 |
I beg, Seniors, do I really need International Driving License or I can use the Nigeria Driver's License in the UK? |
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