earthsync:
I hate this forum sometimes. The way some people just type some things you'd begin to wonder if such thing came from their brains. You'd be reading their comments cringing. Jesus Christ!

Beebah2000:
That is what you guys ask for in a relationship na.
Men, fear men.

Beebah2000:
that is why women offer only sex, because u guys show them that sex is what you want.
You guys are turning women into sex objects.
What a shame

Beebah2000:

I am very rough,u dey play with fire ooo.

GTCO:

Lol this is ridiculous.
You opened this MONIKER in 2021 and already know how to make a post so this your question get as e be

Okuda:


abeg go and sitdown. water no dey quench fire? come jor lets relate. you don even know of its ur hubby you are talking to.

gregyboy:


Nope we go ask for love

Beebah2000:
that is why women offer only sex, because u guys show them that sex is what you want.
You guys are turning women into sex objects.
What a shame

Dizzyish:
These are some possible red flags I've noticed in certain women for a while now. If you're looking for a good partner for a stable, healthy relationship filled with peace of mind or just curious, this could be worth a read:

1. Long nails
2. Fake hair (~long, bright colored)
3. Makeup (mostly heavy makeup)
4. Provocative clothing
5. Big earrings
6. Very active on social media (attention seeking content; thirst trap antics, etc.)
7. Questionable.. questions (e.g. "Babe, would you date me if I were a worm", "babe do you think I'm pretty"..)
8. Tattoos/piercings (especially in weird places)
9. Most/all of her friends are male.
10. Promiscuous or Using se>< as a proxy for feeling loved and adored (this can be especially true for people who struggle with attachment issues/daddy issues)
11. S.I.G.N language (Shaming, Insult, Guilting & Never being wrong)
12. Herd mentality/No sign of individualism (follows beauty standards, fashion trends, body ideals, bad friends or other trends without questioning or reflecting on their reason[s] for doing so) [often correlates with No. 2, 3 & 4]
13. Spoilt brat-like/elitist behaviour (e.g. people who refer to themselves as "bad b*tches", claim to have "very high standards" or are "high maintenance" ) [often correlates with No. 1, 2, 3, 4 & 5]
14. Materialistic [often correlates with No. 12 & 13]
15. Their actions don't follow their words (cognitive dissonance)
16. No sense of boundaries
17. Uses past events or personal information you gave when you 'opened up' to them, as ammunition against you during fights or quarrels.
18. Clingy, jealous or possessive (e.g. not being allowed to have any female friends)
19. Frequent quarrels over trivial things--it seems some people think toxicity makes relationships more 'fun or exciting' (or even straight up admit they enjoy toxicity in relationships)
20. Habit of lying (shouldn't be ignored [along with No. 7, 14 & 16] as it could escalate over time [snowball effect] )
21. Has a tiny, little girl/baby-like voice (possibly due to trauma or abuse at a young age [Reference: Dr. Drew Pinsky - Loveline] )
22. Expects you to 'mind-read' their thoughts and/or 'hints'-- "Some women absolutely do this. In fact, some believe that men should be able to read their minds and then use the fact that men can't read their minds as an excuse to accuse the men of not loving them enough.
Not very many women do this, however. If you are in a relationship with a woman who does this, and you don't like it, break it off. Be sure, however, that you are not contributing to her bad behavior by attempting to anticipate her needs and doing things for her to prove your love. In other words, don't attempt to appear as if you can read her mind." - Alison Bennett (Quora; Do women expect men to be mind-readers?)
*Their mentality of dependence and expectations is so high they use emotions to smoke screen this shameful behaviour. [Shouldn't be ignored. Could correlate with No. 19]
23. Sh*t Tests-- "used to 'determine your frame. Frame is a concept which essentially means 'composure and self-control.” (shouldn't be ignored; usually continues indefinitely, may escalate over time [Often correlates with No. 11, 16 & 19. Possibly with No. 7 & 17] )
24. Ultimatums (could correlate with No. 13, 16 & 18)
25. Can't/doesn't take 'No' for an answer (Strongly correlates with No. 16, possibly with No. 11 & 18 [Shouldn't be ignored; possible sign of an abusive person, may lead to tantrums, physical assault or other 'crazy' behaviours] )
26. Comes from a broken/toxic/abusive home and/or lacks (proper) parental figure(s). (Often correlates with No. 4, 6, 8, 10, 16, 19, 20 [compulsive or pathological lying] & 21)
27. They're often passive aggressive (Could correlate with No. 22. Possibly with No. 7, 11, 19 & 25)
28. Bisexual ("They have a propensity to get bored with whichever gender they're dating and move on to the next.", "People with loose sexual boundaries like bisexuality, polyamory & pansexuality- sexualities where they can't really declare a major or stick to a specific type tend to be trauma survivors*." [*May correlate with No. 26] )
29. Exhibits 'infantile/neotenic' behaviours when in need of aid (e.g. using a childlike voice* and speech pattern, acting "cute", naive; sometimes with a 'sensual' undertone - often used to avoid accountability, responsibility or get their way) [*Not to be confused with No. 21; this one (29) is intentional while No. 21 is 'involuntary'] [Could correlate with No. 10 & 25] )
30. Frequent mood swings-- could be 'preemptively' identified with certain comments e.g. "Having someone who can handle your mood swings is such a blessing", "Need a man that can handle me (when I'm mad, act crazy..)" [Correlates with No. 19. Possibly with No. 13, 17, 18, 22, 23 & 25]
31. Really into astrology (has their personality, behaviours or actions based on zodiac signs) 32. Being "Free-spirited"; 'Hippie' or 'Gypsy-like'. (Could correlate with No. 8, 10 & 26. Possibly with No. 28)
33. Often/always play the victim-- "When you're so used to playing the victim you don't realise when you're being the villain." (Often correlates with No. 15, 20 & 29. Possibly with No. 6, 10, 11, 16 & 17)

34. Comments like "A real man would(n't).." (Often used as a shaming tactic** to get their way or what they want. e.g. "A real man would get his woman a [insert desirables here]" / "A real woman wouldn't let his woman walk around without a [insert desirables here]"--also referred to as the "No True Scotsman" fallacy [Strongly correlates with No. 11 & 13] )
B.) "My body my choice" (While true, is often used to justify or rationalise immoral or ignominious actions, sometimes under the guise of "Body positivity" e.g. promiscuity, being scantily clad, etc. [May correlate with No. 4, 6, 8 & 10. Possibly with No. 12] )
C.) "So you're gay"/ "Just say you're gay.." (Often used as a shaming tactic**, more often than not, as a "retort" or "parting shot" when faced with criticism or when their 'advances/overture' gets turned down* i.e. Saying "no" to their proposal of a date, hookup, etc. [Strongly correlates with No. 11 & No. 25. Possibly No. 17.] Interestingly, it seems some women use this as an 'insult' in spite of being supporters of gay rights.
* "When a woman is so used to getting her way, especially a beautiful woman.. it is such a huge blow to her ego and self esteem when a man says no. They refused to just accept that he just wasn't interested. That would be too painful to accept. Instead they have to convince themselves that he likes d#ck."
** "Shaming tactics are emotional devices meant to play on a man's insecurities and shut down debate. They are meant to elicit sympathy for women and to demonize men who ask hard questions."

35. Habit of gossip or stirring up drama (These two may not be mutually exclusive. [May correlate to No. 11, 13, 17, 19 & 33] )
36. Very active in the 'clubbing' scene, (wild) late night parties.
37. Only interested when they're ignored (This could be due to 'indecisiveness' or 'attention-seeking' [The latter could correlate with No. 6, 10 & 13--when they've gotten the attention, interest will likely dissipate] ) OR when you're preoccupied with a female (Strongly correlates with No. 12 [Preselection]. Possibly with No. 13 & 18)
38. (Often) accuses you of cheating/ Continually or actively criticizes cheaters (The former may be a defence mechanism often used by cheating partners; projecting their feelings of guilt or shame on you. [Oftens correlates with No. 11 & 18. Possibly with No. 16 & 19]. The latter may be a defence mechanism for "covering their tracks" or to make themselves feel "better" or look "better" (feel superior) after infidelity. [May correlate with No. 15]. Both the former and latter may not be mutually exclusive)
39. Controlling behaviour ("A controlling person isn't always overtly threatening or aggressive. Sometimes they are emotionally manipulative and acting out of insecurity."- Psychology Today [Correlates with No. 18 & 24. Strongly with 16 & 25. Possibly with No. 11, 17 & 38] )

40. Blame shifting--"People who ruin their lives have a tendency to blame other people when things go wrong." - Daniel G. Amen, MD.
e.g. "I never thought I’d be the type to cheat, but you made me feel so unappreciated.", "If you didn't always make me angry then I wouldn't hit you.”, "You and Dad never modeled a healthy relationship for me. No wonder my marriage fell apart.”
*As a last resort, usually when they’ve been blatantly caught or called out for something they know they did wrong, they use a "Stink bomb" (they throw a completely unfounded, terrible accusation at you e.g. " Well, you abused me.
– You hit me
– You raped me
– You cheated on me
– You never loved me
– You’re mentally ill
– You’re stalking me, etc.)
By sucking you into these arguments, they are consuming your energy and watching you be progressively self-destructive, so they can use your reactions to prove their own points. (“Wow, look how bitter and angry you are!”) and that’s the whole point. The blame is now off of them, and now you’re the one in hot water. Now you readily find yourself fighting to win your case.
J.A.D.E stands for Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain. When it comes to people with Cluster-B personality disorders, don’t do those things.

You will feel compelled to but don’t. When you try to defend yourself against a false accusation, you legitimize it by even acknowledging it. The only way to respond to these tactics is to stand up and walk away. Just walk away. Silently.
[*Source: themindsjournal.com]
(Shouldn't be ignored; possible sign of an abusive person. [Strongly correlates with No. 11, 17, 19 & 33. Possibly with No. 20 & 26] )

41. Currently or formerly* a se>< worker (Pr#stitutes, stripp#rs**, onlyf#ns "models/content creators", video vixens**, etc.)--while obvious to many, may be unobvious/subtle to some; "No one goes into se>< work because they're well adjusted" in spite of whatever 'rationale' may be used to deem this 'normal', 'healthy', 'empowering' or 'necessary due to circumstances'.
The traumatic and degrading nature of this line of work is (well) known for having adverse effects on mental, emotional and possibly physical health, leading to a slew of psychological problems and toxic (destructive) behaviours.
*A myriad of former workers don't discover, acknowledge and correctly fix their traumas/unresolved issues sustained (before and) after se>< work which damages their ability to form & maintain healthy relationships, though, the few who do genuinely work on themselves are not always exempt from certain consequences e.g. impaired (or lost) ability to 'pair bond'.
"Sex workers are adults who receive money or goods in exchange for consensual sexual services or erotic performances**, either regularly or occasionally."
** "The profession places a high demand on vixen's accessibility to men which gives such men an upper hand to manipulate these ladies into various exploits, notwithstanding the fact that most vixens are willing to be exploited to get more jobs and more favour." e.g. Amber Rose, Blac Chyna, Karrine 'Superhead' Steffans, etc.
(Strongly correlates with No. 10. Very often with No. 26. Possibly with No. 6 & 13**)

For those who are perplexed about No. 1-5, google search for images of Saweetie or blac chyna or sumn idk

These flags could be a result of insecurities, emotional and/or mental immaturity, childhood emotional neglect, attention/validation seeking, attachment issues, etc.

I think observing people's personalities, character and behaviours rather than focusing on their 'looks' or 'physical attractiveness' is a good way to overcome the halo effect.
Also, like attracts like, so make sure to be self-aware and reflect on your actions/behaviour to grow and mature as a person. And be compassionate to others as you'd be to yourself.
These are just my observations & opinions and should be held up to scrutiny.

Beebah2000:
The mo.ron you called daddy really made a terrible mistake by fúcking your stupid mother dirty toto to born an ungrateful beast like you. You bastard bring my parents into this discussion,why can't you face me without involving my parents in this, huh? Stupid bastard, na your sisters be the sex dolls. Brainless fool

Beebah2000:
You won't understand because you are not a woman. And just because you have sex with women doesn't mean they are sex objects.
And why the fúck should I be happy that men ask me for sex?? It sounds ridiculous.
Sex is not happiness,sex is overrated that is why u guys see it as enjoyment.
Them never call una useless and sex objects na, that's why e look normal to u and your fellow guys.

Dizzyish:
These are some possible red flags I've noticed in certain women for a while now. If you're looking for a good partner for a stable, healthy relationship filled with peace of mind or just curious, this could be worth a read:

1. Long nails
2. Fake hair (~long, bright colored)
3. Makeup (mostly heavy makeup)
4. Provocative clothing
5. Big earrings
6. Very active on social media (attention seeking content; thirst trap antics, etc.)
7. Questionable.. questions (e.g. "Babe, would you date me if I were a worm", "babe do you think I'm pretty"..)
8. Tattoos/piercings (especially in weird places)
9. Most/all of her friends are male.
10. Promiscuous or Using se>< as a proxy for feeling loved and adored (this can be especially true for people who struggle with attachment issues/daddy issues)
11. S.I.G.N language (Shaming, Insult, Guilting & Never being wrong)
12. Herd mentality/No sign of individualism (follows beauty standards, fashion trends, body ideals, bad friends or other trends without questioning or reflecting on their reason[s] for doing so) [often correlates with No. 2, 3 & 4]
13. Spoilt brat-like/elitist behaviour (e.g. people who refer to themselves as "bad b*tches", claim to have "very high standards" or are "high maintenance" ) [often correlates with No. 1, 2, 3, 4 & 5]
14. Materialistic [often correlates with No. 12 & 13]
15. Their actions don't follow their words (cognitive dissonance)
16. No sense of boundaries
17. Uses past events or personal information you gave when you 'opened up' to them, as ammunition against you during fights or quarrels.
18. Clingy, jealous or possessive (e.g. not being allowed to have any female friends)
19. Frequent quarrels over trivial things--it seems some people think toxicity makes relationships more 'fun or exciting' (or even straight up admit they enjoy toxicity in relationships)
20. Habit of lying (shouldn't be ignored [along with No. 7, 14 & 16] as it could escalate over time [snowball effect] )
21. Has a tiny, little girl/baby-like voice (possibly due to trauma or abuse at a young age [Reference: Dr. Drew Pinsky - Loveline] )
22. Expects you to 'mind-read' their thoughts and/or 'hints'-- "Some women absolutely do this. In fact, some believe that men should be able to read their minds and then use the fact that men can't read their minds as an excuse to accuse the men of not loving them enough.
Not very many women do this, however. If you are in a relationship with a woman who does this, and you don't like it, break it off. Be sure, however, that you are not contributing to her bad behavior by attempting to anticipate her needs and doing things for her to prove your love. In other words, don't attempt to appear as if you can read her mind." - Alison Bennett (Quora; Do women expect men to be mind-readers?)
*Their mentality of dependence and expectations is so high they use emotions to smoke screen this shameful behaviour. [Shouldn't be ignored. Could correlate with No. 19]
23. Sh*t Tests-- "used to 'determine your frame. Frame is a concept which essentially means 'composure and self-control.” (shouldn't be ignored; usually continues indefinitely, may escalate over time [Often correlates with No. 11, 16 & 19. Possibly with No. 7 & 17] )
24. Ultimatums (could correlate with No. 13, 16 & 18)
25. Can't/doesn't take 'No' for an answer (Strongly correlates with No. 16, possibly with No. 11 & 18 [Shouldn't be ignored; possible sign of an abusive person, may lead to tantrums, physical assault or other 'crazy' behaviours] )
26. Comes from a broken/toxic/abusive home and/or lacks (proper) parental figure(s). (Often correlates with No. 4, 6, 8, 10, 16, 19, 20 [compulsive or pathological lying] & 21)
27. They're often passive aggressive (Could correlate with No. 22. Possibly with No. 7, 11, 19 & 25)
28. Bisexual ("They have a propensity to get bored with whichever gender they're dating and move on to the next.", "People with loose sexual boundaries like bisexuality, polyamory & pansexuality- sexualities where they can't really declare a major or stick to a specific type tend to be trauma survivors*." [*May correlate with No. 26] )
29. Exhibits 'infantile/neotenic' behaviours when in need of aid (e.g. using a childlike voice* and speech pattern, acting "cute", naive; sometimes with a 'sensual' undertone - often used to avoid accountability, responsibility or get their way) [*Not to be confused with No. 21; this one (29) is intentional while No. 21 is 'involuntary'] [Could correlate with No. 10 & 25] )
30. Frequent mood swings-- could be 'preemptively' identified with certain comments e.g. "Having someone who can handle your mood swings is such a blessing", "Need a man that can handle me (when I'm mad, act crazy..)" [Correlates with No. 19. Possibly with No. 13, 17, 18, 22, 23 & 25]
31. Really into astrology (has their personality, behaviours or actions based on zodiac signs) 32. Being "Free-spirited"; 'Hippie' or 'Gypsy-like'. (Could correlate with No. 8, 10 & 26. Possibly with No. 28)
33. Often/always play the victim-- "When you're so used to playing the victim you don't realise when you're being the villain." (Often correlates with No. 15, 20 & 29. Possibly with No. 6, 10, 11, 16 & 17)

34. Comments like "A real man would(n't).." (Often used as a shaming tactic** to get their way or what they want. e.g. "A real man would get his woman a [insert desirables here]" / "A real woman wouldn't let his woman walk around without a [insert desirables here]"--also referred to as the "No True Scotsman" fallacy [Strongly correlates with No. 11 & 13] )
B.) "My body my choice" (While true, is often used to justify or rationalise immoral or ignominious actions, sometimes under the guise of "Body positivity" e.g. promiscuity, being scantily clad, etc. [May correlate with No. 4, 6, 8 & 10. Possibly with No. 12] )
C.) "So you're gay"/ "Just say you're gay.." (Often used as a shaming tactic**, more often than not, as a "retort" or "parting shot" when faced with criticism or when their 'advances/overture' gets turned down* i.e. Saying "no" to their proposal of a date, hookup, etc. [Strongly correlates with No. 11 & No. 25. Possibly No. 17.] Interestingly, it seems some women use this as an 'insult' in spite of being supporters of gay rights.
* "When a woman is so used to getting her way, especially a beautiful woman.. it is such a huge blow to her ego and self esteem when a man says no. They refused to just accept that he just wasn't interested. That would be too painful to accept. Instead they have to convince themselves that he likes d#ck."
** "Shaming tactics are emotional devices meant to play on a man's insecurities and shut down debate. They are meant to elicit sympathy for women and to demonize men who ask hard questions."

35. Habit of gossip or stirring up drama (These two may not be mutually exclusive. [May correlate to No. 11, 13, 17, 19 & 33] )
36. Very active in the 'clubbing' scene, (wild) late night parties.
37. Only interested when they're ignored (This could be due to 'indecisiveness' or 'attention-seeking' [The latter could correlate with No. 6, 10 & 13--when they've gotten the attention, interest will likely dissipate] ) OR when you're preoccupied with a female (Strongly correlates with No. 12 [Preselection]. Possibly with No. 13 & 18)
38. (Often) accuses you of cheating/ Continually or actively criticizes cheaters (The former may be a defence mechanism often used by cheating partners; projecting their feelings of guilt or shame on you. [Oftens correlates with No. 11 & 18. Possibly with No. 16 & 19]. The latter may be a defence mechanism for "covering their tracks" or to make themselves feel "better" or look "better" (feel superior) after infidelity. [May correlate with No. 15]. Both the former and latter may not be mutually exclusive)
39. Controlling behaviour ("A controlling person isn't always overtly threatening or aggressive. Sometimes they are emotionally manipulative and acting out of insecurity."- Psychology Today [Correlates with No. 18 & 24. Strongly with 16 & 25. Possibly with No. 11, 17 & 38] )

40. Blame shifting--"People who ruin their lives have a tendency to blame other people when things go wrong." - Daniel G. Amen, MD.
e.g. "I never thought I’d be the type to cheat, but you made me feel so unappreciated.", "If you didn't always make me angry then I wouldn't hit you.”, "You and Dad never modeled a healthy relationship for me. No wonder my marriage fell apart.”
*As a last resort, usually when they’ve been blatantly caught or called out for something they know they did wrong, they use a "Stink bomb" (they throw a completely unfounded, terrible accusation at you e.g. " Well, you abused me.
– You hit me
– You raped me
– You cheated on me
– You never loved me
– You’re mentally ill
– You’re stalking me, etc.)
By sucking you into these arguments, they are consuming your energy and watching you be progressively self-destructive, so they can use your reactions to prove their own points. (“Wow, look how bitter and angry you are!”) and that’s the whole point. The blame is now off of them, and now you’re the one in hot water. Now you readily find yourself fighting to win your case.
J.A.D.E stands for Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain. When it comes to people with Cluster-B personality disorders, don’t do those things.

You will feel compelled to but don’t. When you try to defend yourself against a false accusation, you legitimize it by even acknowledging it. The only way to respond to these tactics is to stand up and walk away. Just walk away. Silently.
[*Source: themindsjournal.com]
(Shouldn't be ignored; possible sign of an abusive person. [Strongly correlates with No. 11, 17, 19 & 33. Possibly with No. 20 & 26] )

41. Currently or formerly* a se>< worker (Pr#stitutes, stripp#rs**, onlyf#ns "models/content creators", video vixens**, etc.)--while obvious to many, may be unobvious/subtle to some; "No one goes into se>< work because they're well adjusted" in spite of whatever 'rationale' may be used to deem this 'normal', 'healthy', 'empowering' or 'necessary due to circumstances'.
The traumatic and degrading nature of this line of work is (well) known for having adverse effects on mental, emotional and possibly physical health, leading to a slew of psychological problems and toxic (destructive) behaviours.
*A myriad of former workers don't discover, acknowledge and correctly fix their traumas/unresolved issues sustained (before and) after se>< work which damages their ability to form & maintain healthy relationships, though, the few who do genuinely work on themselves are not always exempt from certain consequences e.g. impaired (or lost) ability to 'pair bond'.
"Sex workers are adults who receive money or goods in exchange for consensual sexual services or erotic performances**, either regularly or occasionally."
** "The profession places a high demand on vixen's accessibility to men which gives such men an upper hand to manipulate these ladies into various exploits, notwithstanding the fact that most vixens are willing to be exploited to get more jobs and more favour." e.g. Amber Rose, Blac Chyna, Karrine 'Superhead' Steffans, etc.
(Strongly correlates with No. 10. Very often with No. 26. Possibly with No. 6 & 13**)

For those who are perplexed about No. 1-5, google search for images of Saweetie or blac chyna or sumn idk

These flags could be a result of insecurities, emotional and/or mental immaturity, childhood emotional neglect, attention/validation seeking, attachment issues, etc.

I think observing people's personalities, character and behaviours rather than focusing on their 'looks' or 'physical attractiveness' is a good way to overcome the halo effect.
Also, like attracts like, so make sure to be self-aware and reflect on your actions/behaviour to grow and mature as a person. And be compassionate to others as you'd be to yourself.
These are just my observations & opinions and should be held up to scrutiny.

Beebah2000:
That is what you guys ask for in a relationship na.
Men, fear men.

Beebah2000:
Thanm you , I am still the biggest fool here because I have always be foolish here

Beebah2000:
You won't understand because you are not a woman. And just because you have sex with women doesn't mean they are sex objects.
And why the fúck should I be happy that men ask me for sex?? It sounds ridiculous.
Sex is not happiness,sex is overrated that is why u guys see it as enjoyment.
Them never call una useless and sex objects na, that's why e look normal to u and your fellow guys.

zexy2030:

Sex is exit for depression as money is to you.

Lollittaa:
flee fornication

Beebah2000:
that is why women offer only sex, because u guys show them that sex is what you want.
You guys are turning women into sex objects.
What a shame

PaNnamdi:

If u guys aren't sex object then what else are u?
U apply artificial face beautifier and look like a doll and u are angry that are called a sex object?

Women and hypocrisy is like 5&6
Pa nnamdi is angry.

Beebah2000:
That is what you guys ask for in a relationship na.
Men, fear men.

Sike:
what else can you offer?

Beebah2000:
support, love, care, loyalty, companionship, trust, honesty etc.