frozen70:
Your religious background and upbringing was to model you as you grow and not to decide for you on how to live your life as a full grown man

What if you see a woman you loves deeply and she doesn't want to go to Deeper life church with you and ask you to choose another church both of you will be identified with

What will you do

Move on, you already have the fear of God in you

Change environment and mix up you will see the difference

That religious background is what indoctrinates at the end of the day. This case may be an example of an extreme case but the point is religious upbringing that has you following the doctrines and traditions of men, including those of your churches, are detrimental to the growth of an individuals relationship with God.

God condemned all doctrines and traditions of men - they are not to be fed children and definitely adults are to wash themselves of them.

wellmax:
You've messed up your life now you are blaming a church.

I go to Gbagada, Deeper life HQ, and always feel proud seeing young couples dressed in and co, taking pictures or with their kids. In the same church you seek to blame.

Go and deliver yourself from yourself and stop blaming any church.

Don't be a blind follower.

You advise him not to be a blind follower of your church doctrines, even as you, in the same breath celebrate some of the very same things your church doctrines teach you to celebrate. Are you kidding?

Kobojunkie:
You advise him not to be a blind follower of your church doctrines, even as you, in the same breath celebrate some of the very same things your church doctrines teach you to celebrate. Are you kidding?

Where and when do they teach you to be a blind follower?

These are people who just follow their parents to church without any personal encounter, now they are looking for whom to blame. Aren't there people over 50 who do not attend any church and are still unmarried? Who do they blame now.

Op is just a blind follower, waiting for the church to direct his life. He is a church follower and not a follower of Christ as the church teaches.

Lol, everybody go collect.

wellmax:

1. Where and when do they teach you to be a blind follower?

These are people who just follow their parents to church without any personal encounter, now they are looking for whom to blame. Aren't there people over 50 who do not attend any church and are still unmarried? Who do they blame now.

2. Op is just a blind follower, waiting for the church to direct his life. He is a church follower and not a follower of Christ as the church teaches.

1. The church itself is built on the doctrines and traditions of your pastor. Your very lives are steeped in those doctrines and those of you who attend church are blind followers of your pastors doctrines which are not the New Covenant teachings and commandments of Jesus Christ, God's New Covenant Law in the Kingdom of God.

2. The Op is no different from the rest of you who believe and follow every word breathed from the mouth of your pastors and his various mogs.

So, before you preach at the Op, remove the huge log in your own eyes so you can clearly see that you both follow the same path, only he has run up against a wall on his way to the same destination and in the same direction which you are all headed together in.

Ok so u don bcome father inside deeper life
No answer me

All these boys lost in fornication will come here and give negative advice. If they use fornication and lust lay the foundation of their marriage and the marriage start having problems it's still pastors that the matter will be brought to.

I don't think that op is truthful in what he is saying. I'm in one of the largest Pentecostal churches. It's a rule that we should not match make. You can't even bring names to me to help you seek the face of God whether he or she is your husband/wife. Even if God speaks to me I will not tell you but I can help you ask God to lead you.

Marriage is a personal decision between the intending couple. The church where there is good doctrine will only guide you so that you are not lead by flesh because scripturally there is no second chance.

I think that this is the situation in Deeper Life.
A lot of you don't know what pastors go through trying to quench the fire in a lot of marriages (even the ones that the couples are very educated and comfortable) because the foundation of the marriages were badly laid. You hear all manner of things that are dirty. This is what the church is trying to avoid.

The church know that happy home, happy church.

Diamond23:
My brother it is ABNORMAL
Am just imagining the kind of boring life both of you will enjoy

Hahahaha!

You might want to stop imagining.
Boredom is subjective . What's incredibly exciting to you could be a total bore to another.

Besides many urging this OP on here may have done more ridiculous things in the name of 'relationships'. No man is a standard.

Bros..being a member of a church is voluntary.

It means, you are comfortable with what is going on there and are willing to stay.

It also means you can choose to leave anytime.

So blaming the church for your misfortunes is self-deception.
You are responsible for your life, not the church.
You are a product of your choice.

Stop complaining and do something about the situation

maikalaf:

A sister was so sure this bro was the one. You could see the excitement and all. Marriage committee ask bro how far, bro said nothing clear.
Sister was broken. See ehn, these things happens every now and then, and it's one of the contributing factors why some persons are even not sure of what they know to be true again.
The basics of this whole thing about finding a partner should be that the said partner actually knows God on a personal level. That's it!
As far as kingdom is concerned, God have many sons and daughters, and they're not only in a particular denomination (na church doctrine bring all this limitation), them yapa! Find the one that fits your spec, as far they're saved and love Jesus, take the next step. That's what marriage committee is supposed to be for, I guess.

You intentions are pure but the world has become more complicated.
The same reason why we have different denominations In the world today -i.e. christians don't necessarily believe the same things (both major & minor) — is the same reason why inter-denominational marriages aren't encouraged.

While the marriage committee institution was/is, I believe, born out of good intentions, they (in most churches) would overreach in some decisions too.
Those so kin on marriage here should know that it has its many problems too.

May God help us.

Ishilove:

Uncle G, it makes no sense. He has not even approached his love interest but he has approached the church council and is waiting for their approval. I mean, what the actual frock?? What if, after 'approval' the said lady does not agree to be courted?

He needs to examine himself well and stop blaming the church for his inability to be settled.

But the thing is said is real and in diverse forms ooo. While it seems like his is extreme, most Pentecostal churches make you meet marriage committee before you can wed in church.

dbrown2021:

Most times God works from both ends when it comes to the will of God in marriage . Gen 24:12-14. If one cannot pray and wait for God to direct him or her. There is no need going to tell the committee lies that God led you to someone. Just tell them you like the person for marriage and don't be surprised that God can still work it out for you. We need to learn to depend on God in this life. If we learn to always depend on God we will not make mistakes and the good Lord will prosper us. Shalom.

Does God tell people specific people to get married to? Or does he just require that who Christians get married to are children of God as his only requiment?

I Cor 7 v 39 shows Paul's message to widows to marry whom they will as long as in the lord" . If widows are given the only Godly requirement of marrying christians, why do christian nowadays add the extra burden of marrying that one person who God has 'specified'.

God help us.

BigBashiru:


you are talking bollocks.... girls date attractive guys.

Attraction while being good for marriage is not enough to make a marriage last. I'm sure you know this.

Asour:


Attraction while being good for marriage is not enough to make a marriage last. I'm sure you know this.

I agree but it can also make or break a marriage; marriage in and of itself is boring to girls..... also marriage has no inherent benefit to guys these days except to have kids.... finally not every girl or guy is husband and wife material..... many are coerced into marriage against their will....

GboyegaD:


But the thing is said is real and in diverse forms ooo. While it seems like his is extreme, most Pentecostal churches make you meet marriage committee before you can wed in church.

This is not about wedding. This is courtship. Is it the church committee who determines who you spend your life with or the Holy Spirit? This committee has no right to determine who my spouse is for me. None whatsoever because they will not live with me if I end up with the wrong person.

dbrown2021:

Doctrines are different from Administrative rules.
Organisations have standard and procedures for various operations. When you belong to the organisation you follow the process and procedures .
Absence of procedures will mean everyone doing it his or her own way and orderliness will be lacking.
So let's not mix up doctrines with administrative procedures. Every Church I guess have there marriage procedures.

You're right except however that this has to do with the personal life of an individual with lifetime implications too.

These 'Administrative rules' while well intended run the risk of overreaching in their decisions. Who bears the brunt of this decisions — the couple.
The suggestion that marriage committees are the ONLY way to foster orderliness in God's church does not cut it as there were no marriage committees in the bible (as we know it today).
Even when Jesus Christ was invited to a marriage in the bible he was invited as a guest NOT a moderator.

Most churches point to rules /orderliness as some of the reasons for durable marriages in their denominations. While this may be true. Some non-christian societies/countries also have durable marriages too with few divorces — in fact divorces are a taboo as amongst christians (e.g. India, SriLanka etc.).

My point is that a true christian would be orderly in his marriage plans without a committee. The committee thing looks to me as an institution for standardization of practice than a truly spiritual. endeavor. Even the G.S. has criticized their practices a few times in DL.

May God help us.

loffyloffy:
Bros..being a member of a church is voluntary.
It means, you are comfortable with what is going on there and are willing to stay.
It also means you can choose to leave anytime.

So blaming the church for your misfortunes is self-deception. You are responsible for your life, not the church. You are a product of your choice.

Stop complaining and do something about the situation

1. I imagine it is a lot harder to do for those who were born and raised in It.

2. Isn't indoctrination as a whole a form of self-deception?

Asour:

Does God tell people specific people to get married to? Or does he just require that who Christians get married to are children of God as his only requiment?

I Cor 7 v 39 shows Paul's message to widows to marry whom they will as long as in the lord" . If widows are given the only Godly requirement of marrying christians, why do christian nowadays add the extra burden of marrying that one person who God has 'specified'.

God help us.

God does not even require that a one who claims to be a Christian marry another who claims to be a Christian either.

In Luke 20 vs 34 - 36, Jesus Christ all but announced that marriages are of this world and have nothing to do with the Kingdom of God. So whoever you want to and chose to marry, na for here e go begin and for here on earth it will end..

Ishilove:
You want the church to sanction a relationship that is still in your imagination?

You are almost 40. Please let your foolishness end before you are 40 so it doesn't become permanent.

Truer words were never spoken

Kobojunkie:
God does not even require that a one who claims to be a Christian marry another who claims to be a Christian either.

In Luke 20 vs 34 - 36, Jesus Christ all but announced that marriages are of this world and have nothing to do with the Kingdom of God. So whoever you want to and chose to marry, na for here e go begin and for here on earth it will end..

It is true that marriage is of this world but you would want to have a relatively happy life while IN the world right?

Professions, choice of cars, foods, friends are also lifetime matters but they make our lives here better. So we act wisely in making these choices still.

Asour:

It is true that marriage is of this world but you would want to have a relatively happy life while IN the world right?

Professions, choice of cars, foods, friends are also lifetime matters but they make our lives here better. So we act wisely in making these choices still.

What does it mean to to relatively happy in life?

Even those who do not cling to any religion also "act" wisely when making the very same choices. So if it all of the world, where is the difference between your wise acts and their wise acts?
Remember that those who are of this world are steeped in the doctrines and traditions of men only they don't append the name of God at the end of their rules like the religious people do thinking God endorse it by that.

Ishilove:

This is not about wedding. This is courtship. Is it the church committee who determines who you spend your life with or the Holy Spirit? This committee has no right to determine who my spouse is for me. None whatsoever because they will not live with me if I end up with the wrong person.

At the end of the day, all na same ooo. E just dey subtle for some place pass some. Unfortunately, dis Bros case be like person wey carry him own pass limitation.

[quote author=sijibomi33 post=104967940][/quote]I strongly believe that you graduated with a very good result; because many deeper life brethren are academically sound; and they don't marry all that too early; I don't think you have a problem if you haven't had a relationship at 35 in fact you are better off since you are yet to go into a relationship with a babe; but at least you are still likely to marry in a good time; probably around your age 37.

Kobojunkie:
Jesus Christ instead warned you against following the Doctrines and traditions of men . He informed you these doctrines and traditions of men are nothing but lies, an abomination to God - Matthew 15 vs 1 - 14

Oga go and read it well.... After that read this too
And they continued stedfastly in the apostles' doctrine and fellowship, and in breaking of bread, and in prayers.
Acts:2:42

Take heed unto thyself, and unto the doctrine; continue in them: for in doing this thou shalt both save thyself, and them that hear thee.
1 Timothy:4:16



The Apostle even had doctrine

Admiral49:

Oga go and read it well.... After that read this too
And they continued stedfastly in the apostles' doctrine and fellowship, and in breaking of bread, and in prayers.
Acts:2:42

The Apostle even had doctrine

Jesus Christ condemned the teaching of doctrines and traditions of men , telling you outright that it nullifies the power of God rendering your worships of God vain, but you are saying that because the doctrines supposedly preached doctrines, what Jesus Christ commanded of you is meaningless?

In John 15 vs 14, Jesus Christ said that His friends are those who do what He tells them to do, implying that His enemies are those who refuse to do what He commands them to.

Do you realize then that you look for ways around obeying God's very own Law, Jesus Christ, you pass from being being a follower of God to being an enemy of God?

In terms of marriage, deeperlife church is one of the churches that have Failed woefully. I was there and I know what this man is talking about. They behave like Jehovah's witnesses. They Bleep outside but insist on marrying their church members. I'm sure some bad guys outside have been fucking the person u are eyeing and in the end, u will be the loser because of that stupid Deeper life doctrine of not seeing ur intended spouse in private before marrying.
How can u not know the house of someone u intend to Marry? Religion is just fucking shit. That was how Papa Jeremiah married mama jeremiah in those days and found out she didn't have hair on her head. Because she was always wrapping the head in the deeperlife style. It became clear after they got married. Although they are still together I guess because both were very dirty together.. Lol. I remember another brother Samson too, he went to marry a woman he had not met one on one to test her Mic, they remained childless for many years before we left that area, I don't know whether they have children now tho. Deeper life of those days won't even let u go for medical checkup all in the name of faith.. The delusion that goes on in that church speaks volume. I like the preaching of the pastor though, e dey try well. But where they got those their nonsense doctrine of marriage committee doing what a man should do is what I don't understand. They force u to look holy on the face whereas u are dying inside with rottenness and sin.
I had a deeper life colleague who used to masturbate and watch mojo in the office (a grown man of 45 years then). If u are coming he would close the movie.
One day he was watching mojo and as soon as a colleague was coming, he deleted it and went to the recycle bin and deleted it. unfortunately for him, the colleague is a computer wizard, he knew the guy deleted something, when he couldn't see it in the bin, he used a software and restored it to the bin and brought the movie out.. He presented it to bro... , bro was shocked and asked "how did u get it"? Lol
It is not their fault, they are forced to fake holiness, no partying, no socializing etc. U think say body na firewood abi? Even Kumuyi himself could not wait for one year when he lost his first wife mama kumuyi. If u notice these days, kumuyi himself has started loosening up and fraternizing with other men of God and even gospel artists like Don Moen. I believe it is the influence of this his new wife because she was foreign based before they married, the woman don see beta life than the movie them dey act for naija.. Young people in deeper life recently celebrated papa kumuyi @80 by blowing the trumpet in the church, u won't believe that their zonal leaders suspended all the young ones from the offices they occupied from choir to ushers and youth leaders. It took serious warning from (I believe other big MOGs outside deeper life) to make Kumuyi himself use wisdom to restore the young people back to their positions in the church and warned the leaders to allow the young ones serve God the way they feel is best for them as long as they don't commit sin. That wax what saved the church if not by now, u would not see any young man remaining I. that church. When Kumuyi eventually goes, I hope they hand the church to a younger person to bring them back to limelight. The old people there are too rigid with their anyhow doctrine that is not in the bible .. I so submit.
I have given nairaland content.. Lol

Nothing is wrong with you bro. Just trust God. It's not that those who rushed Into relationships are all cashing out joy and satisfaction. We all have our tales of regrets atimes. Please take your time as you let God leads you. Better late than getting it wrong and if you believe the church process has been compromised, please take your destiny in your hands while you still allow God to lead you to the right choice.

Man!!! Snap out of it brov!!! This is like living in a heavenly North Korea. Don't let anyone control your life. In my opinion, ignore whatever they have to say and live your life. Oh wait!!! Are you a virgin?

DLSReigns:
Nothing is wrong with you bro. Just trust God. It's not that those who rushed Into relationships are all cashing out joy and satisfaction. We all have our tales of regrets atimes. Please take your time as you let God leads you. Better late than getting it wrong and if you believe the church process has been compromised, please take your destiny in your hands while you still allow God to lead you to the right choice.

Please, don't listen to this boss here!

This your last statement make sense die...

festacman:
"... So, you may need to go Talibanistic and take over your KABUL boldly and apologize to 'whom it may concern' later...."

@Sijibomi33, like everyone has said, sometimes those church rules has to be discarded to be sane again. I got married at 31 and before then, I had seen the world of women. I'm 38 now. If I had waited for man-made church rules/doctrines maybe I for don dey your same level by now.

Lol. See blindfolded mumu. Church Don brainwash you.