Ok12345:
Good p.m house

Pls I need your advice on this issue, My friend confided in me that she has been dating her husband for 6yrs before they eventually got married sept 2020,but after the marriage, her husband now hangs out with the best man from Mon to Sun,he doesn't confide in her anymore, he changed church to the bestman church, weekend if he doesn't go out, the so called best man will come to their matrimonial home to stay with them,even when she organises surprise dates for her husband, her husband will call this best man to join them,If they are invited to Birthday or any occasion, her husband will hang out with the bestman and not talk to her till it is time to go home,this has been going for a year now,she has complained and things isn't changing at all...the best man is a married man too and he hardly stays at home with his family, he has numerous girlfriends.She told me her husband now drinks ,come home late and tell her to go make her own friends too and stop complaining. She is fed up,she asked me for advice but I am not yet married, I don't know what to tell her.

Pls your input could save a marriage

Diamond23:
This is serious, why not she get family members involved

Richy4:
The man was scared of that bold step called marriage... all your friend have to do is to look for an adult that your husband respects, who understands the institution called marriage very well to explain to him that he doesn't have to run away from it/ responsibilities as a husband....Someone that can explain to him that the wife is also scared of that bold step but if they can open up to one another and share their fears, they will be OK....

In my opinion, I believe your friend does not know what was playing out at the background before the marriage, The man would have loved to be a bachelor for life.. he was forced, pushed or could not bear the taunting of " why are you not married" speeches by family/friends...
He is not gay because that was what people here will be telling u... you know what they say about birds of a feather...

Kobojunkie:
You believe what he is doing running away?

Richy4:


I believe that it has not sank into him that he is married yet....He has zero idea of what marriage is all about since he got such friend whom he was still looking up to...Who is also married just like him.... he needed someone that can speak to him... and also caution that friend of his to focus more on his own family too... That behavior is most time common with white guys...I don't understand that emoji though... is it for me or the man in question?

Klass99:


Richy @ the bold, does that really work in real life?

I see the advice a lot on NL and it is often directed at women, but men are sometimes told to try it as well and it makes me wonder......does it change anything?

Do the defaulting partners actually listen to this "respected person" in their lives and change their behaviour afterwards?

I am a firm believer that, actions speak louder than words. While verbal communication is good in any relationship it can never be enough with certain kinds of people. Some people need to be shown through actions that their yeye don do, no be only them get craze for body.

I simply call it - giving people a dose of their own medicine.