Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,201,263 members, 7,977,779 topics. Date: Thursday, 17 October 2024 at 01:20 PM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Infidelity (1152 Views)
Zimbabwean Man Takes Used Condoms To Court As Prove Of Sister Inlaw’s Infidelity / Infidelity: Wives, Mistresses’ Fights Get Messier, Spill To Social Media (pics) / 88-year-old Man Seeks Divorce From 55-year-old Wife Over Infidelity (2) (3) (4)
Infidelity by 22marvelous(m): 7:08pm On Aug 29, 2021 |
Two weeks ago via a radio station I was listening to this evening, a man got to know that his twin sons that he loves so much and is ready to go extreme miles for,for the past 5 years,he has literally and practically been training another man's kids,he has left his home and has gone to his parents house,his parents ve told him to abandon the innocent kids,but he is devastated and emotionally drained and traumatized,school is about resuming, should he still go ahead paying for the school fees of another man's kids,he is planning for a divorce. No insults pls,just ur suggestions pls |
Re: Infidelity by Janesouthall: 7:12pm On Aug 29, 2021 |
school is about resuming, should he still go ahead paying for the school fees of another man's kids,he is planning for a divorce You still want us to answer this question??..na wa ooo 2 Likes |
Re: Infidelity by LilMissFavvy(f): 7:17pm On Aug 29, 2021 |
He should forgive the wife if she is genuinely sorry and repented. The issue should be kept as top secret. He and wife can be splitting the children's bills, or if wife is financially buoyant enough, let her be paying the fees alone, while the man pays rents, other bills etc. Let him accept them, afterall people adopt kids. 4 Likes |
Re: Infidelity by Michelle55: 7:18pm On Aug 29, 2021 |
You know the answer obviously but as usual public validation means a lot to you.. Perhaps the next person has the best advice for you. Good luck! |
Re: Infidelity by Michelle55: 7:24pm On Aug 29, 2021 |
LilMissFavvy:Let's assume it's your brother in this situation, would you give him the same advice knowing that the wife lied to him from the onset? Do think about it before responding, let's try to give advice that we can also swallow if we find ourselves in the same situation. That's paternity fraud, what would happen if the man didn't find out earlier? There's nothing wrong in adoption or training another's man child/children as long as he's doing so consciously and willingly with no iota of deception from the woman's side. She broke that vow when she decided to open her legs for another man who isn't her husband and not just that, but also getting pregnant in the process. She should bear the brunt alone. 13 Likes |
Re: Infidelity by UDUJ(m): 7:32pm On Aug 29, 2021 |
Michelle55: True talk Michelle. Nice one. You forgot to add the following: passing on another man's kids to him. That is the height of deceit. 2 Likes |
Re: Infidelity by GTCO: 7:35pm On Aug 29, 2021 |
Were the said kids had after he was legally married to the woman? If yes, the kids are his... He can continue to sponsor them, even when the kids are grown and the father comes up, the kids will still recognize you as their father 2 Likes |
Re: Infidelity by LilMissFavvy(f): 8:01pm On Aug 29, 2021 |
You didn't see where I said if she's genuinely sorry/ repented? That is the grounds on which I feel she can be forgiven and given another chance. If you feel otherwise, I believe he has seen your advice. Michelle55: 5 Likes |
Re: Infidelity by advanceDNA: 8:08pm On Aug 29, 2021 |
LilMissFavvy: 1 Like
|
Re: Infidelity by Michelle55: 8:10pm On Aug 29, 2021 |
LilMissFavvy:If she was truly remorseful like you've said, she would have confessed her sins immediately the infidelity happened or when she knew she was pregnant, I'm sure both of them would have reached an agreement on how to handle the situation. Why wait after 5years to break and shatter the man that way? Repentance is when you wholly admit your wrongs immediately when you realise you might be hurting the other party involved, and not wait for too long to do that. Dude is already attached to the kids and it feels like his world is crumbling right before him with this confession. It's well! 2 Likes |
Re: Infidelity by advanceDNA: 8:10pm On Aug 29, 2021 |
GTCO: What is this one saying... 1 Like |
Re: Infidelity by mariahAngel(f): 8:12pm On Aug 29, 2021 |
If I were the man, those children remain mine as long as they’re legally mine. Now, that does not mean I’ll continue with the marriage. My capacity to forgive that level of betrayal has not been tested. 1 Like |
Re: Infidelity by Janesouthall: 8:23pm On Aug 29, 2021 |
mariahAngel: See ur mouth like If I were the man, those children remain mine as long as they’re legally mine. There is nothing like having you own biological children... One day those pikin go look for their real father... 4 Likes |
Re: Infidelity by mariahAngel(f): 8:36pm On Aug 29, 2021 |
Janesouthall: I simply cannot stop loving them because I found out they’re not biologically mine. If I can accept them as mine, then they’re mine. (It is up to me) After all, there are couples who have their own biological children and still adopt. Just think about those children in this situation(the post)...they’re the worst hit. You might think that because they’re just children, it doesn’t affect them. It does a great deal. 3 Likes |
Re: Infidelity by JovialJune(f): 8:47pm On Aug 29, 2021 |
A stupid question, when you obviously know the man will definitely divorce her, it is not new so why bring it here? To start another stupid war of words from slow ilks that will tag all females as one abi? After all, there are men that bring in their love child with the lie that they belong to relatives, so what gives exactly 5 Likes |
Re: Infidelity by efficiencie(m): 9:30pm On Aug 29, 2021 |
22marvelous: Request the wife to seek out the true father of the children and inform him that he secret affair is now public knowledge. The true father should be sued if he refuses to take responsibility for the children and contribute to their welfare. The man should evaluate his now dead marriage and ask where he got it wrong. He needs to reflect about what in the unfaithful wife attracted him and what reason was responsible for the paternity fraud...whatever does not kill you makes you stronger. If he has made up his mind to leave the marriage he should cut-off all ties with the said lady, spend sometime healing and decide when it is right to move on. If he has the heart to forgive the lady, he should be sure the lady is not on a mission to destroy him, if she is truly repentant he should ask that she reveals every hidden secret about her that he is unaware of, he should require that their vows be re-made and he should pick-up the bits and pieces of his marriage! Marriage is not for the faint at heart...it is more of then than not the fusion of two beasts waiting to be exposed! 1 Like |
Re: Infidelity by Janesouthall: 9:35pm On Aug 29, 2021 |
mariahAngel:Speaking from a woman's perspective... |
Re: Infidelity by jkuvira: 9:53pm On Aug 29, 2021 |
And what exactly is a mans perspective? I'm definitely not letting her go scotfree for infidelity. But the kids, if he still sees them as his own, he can go ahead to keep sponsoring. They did nothing wrong. Janesouthall: |
Re: Infidelity by LilMissFavvy(f): 9:59pm On Aug 29, 2021 |
Well, you can ask her why she waited that long before confessing, but I still stand at what I said, that no matter when she confessed, if I were to see a true brokenness of heart/begging, I would tell my brother to forgive her..... My opinion. Michelle55: |
Re: Infidelity by jkuvira: 10:12pm On Aug 29, 2021 |
If He's planning for divorce, let him go ahead. He's clearly free to do so. I can try to understand your story doesn't imply I'll take you back. Not everyone can forgive infidelity, male or female. Talking about the kids, if he chooses to keep on paying their fees or not, he is definitely in his sane mind and he is making completely sane decisions. If you do not see yourself doing so, its likely because you are looking at following scenarios playing out :'how can I sponsor who is not my flesh and blood', 'what if he/she goes to look for his father after he/she is matured', and the others. Well the truth is - this scenarios play out, another truth is - even our own flesh and blood might relegate us to the backseat when they mature. Children are way beyond flesh and blood. Deeply intense parent-child bonds can be nurtured with or without flesh and blood and trust me, a child that will remember you, be it by duty or desire, will remember you. Of course nothing a definite assurance as flesh and blood, but we all gat bloods who stand by us even though we do not share parents, we even call them brothers or sisters. So why can't you give the same benefit to a child who is not yours. That said, people adopt children every year, and they treat them as if they were their own. I don't know what I'd do if this scenario plays out on the infidelity part, but I definitely know what I'll do with the kids part. 1 Like |
Re: Infidelity by Kirchoffs: 9:10am On Sep 02, 2021 |
LilMissFavvy:God punîsh you...if you are married am sure your kids don't belong to their father 1 Like |
Re: Infidelity by NLPoliceWoman: 6:57pm On Sep 03, 2021 |
Kirchoffs:Seun Mynd44 Justwise Dominique 1 Like |
Re: Infidelity by LilMissFavvy(f): 8:12pm On Sep 03, 2021 |
I know you are probably high on something otherwise you would ignore my comments and drop yours, God punishh you a billion fold bastarddd. Back to sender foooool. Kirchoffs: |
Re: Infidelity by Caramia2020(m): 4:39am On Sep 04, 2021 |
This situation is not just paying fees n paying the other bills but a breach of contract. Someone said if u love ur wife forgive n keep it a secret, smile humans, what's secret there? as if d other man won't come for the children one day n what's the guarantee that the woman will not bring more strange children in future. To me, dat marriage is no more bcoz Nigeria men are not like Zimbabwe men dat will go n beg their wife after being caught with two men, their ego is highly important. Finally love is not enough in a marital relationship but trust highly important. |
Re: Infidelity by greenie77: 5:20am On Sep 04, 2021 |
Caramia2020: It depends on where the wife comes from. In some places, once the woman has been divorced, the children who are not biologically his and he no longer wants to be associated with will bear their maternal grandfather's name. The man who impregnated the woman, would have no claim over those children because on what ground will he be going to the woman's family to claim those children? He is free to go hire SANs to defend him in court that he wants to claim his "children", make we see how court go give am the children. |
Re: Infidelity by FuturelsFemale(f): 7:05am On Sep 04, 2021 |
Michelle55:True |
(1) (Reply)
U Should Know Better Than Allow Ur Younger Sister Spend So Much Money On A Party / SHOCKING: Man Stops Daughter's Wedding Over Son-in-law's N70k Bride Price Debt / Should Ac Guy Marry Sc Lady
Viewing this topic: 1 guest(s)
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 58 |