Today I went for a talk show on relationship here in port Harcourt that held in a church, While the show was on, a lady asked a question which she said "I have a boyfriend, though he is very good and has everything u will need in a man but the problem is that he is a Muslim, should I go ahead and marry him"

I expected an unbiased answer from these pastors, but their answer was that "she shouldn't marry him because there is a high chance that he will marry another wife", seriously?
I was so pissed that such answer was coming from a church that shouldnt judge people cos of religious difference.
I came back home and discussed it with my brother and he fully supported the pastors, I begin to question my sanity, am I missing something? Shouldn't the church be a place where anyone should find solace irrespective of skin, status, race, belief and values? Hasn't the church lost its value if there is decrimination?
We know that there are Yoruba Muslims and Hausa Muslims that are very kind and good, just some Fulani muslims that are extremists?

There are also some Christians that are bad, there is a popular Pastor that impregnated another woman and his wife got pregnant for another man, we know most pastors that divorced, should we discriminate pastors too?
Why can't we keep religion and tribal differences and face the real enemies?

That her question was unnecessary..

She knows the answer already..

richmond500:
Today I went for a talk show on relationship here in port Harcourt that held in a church, While the show was on, a lady asked a question which she said "I have a boyfriend, though he is very good and has everything u will need in a man but the problem is that he is a Muslim, should I go ahead and marry him"

I expected an unbiased answer from these pastors, but their answer was that "she shouldn't marry him because there is a high chance that he will marry another wife", seriously?
I was so pissed that such answer was coming from a church that shouldnt judge people cos of religious difference.
I came back home and discussed it with my brother and he fully supported the pastors, I begin to question my sanity, am I missing something? Shouldn't the church be a place where anyone should find solace irrespective of skin, status, race, belief and values? Hasn't the church lost its value if there is decrimination?
We know that there are Yoruba Muslims and Hausa Muslims that are very kind and good, just some Fulani muslims that are extremists?

There are also some Christians that are bad, there is a popular Pastor that impregnated another woman and his wife got pregnant for another man, we know most pastors that divorced, should we discriminate pastors too?
Why can't we keep religion and tribal differences and face the real enemies?

1.Well, there is a high chance that a Muslim would marry a second wife, since polygamy is permitted in the religion, compared to christianity which at the very least adheres to the principle of monogamy (That many christians don't live up to that is a sad thing...and yes, many of them pastors get bashed for being amoral).
So a young Christian woman who all her life has been brought up with the idea that monogamy is the ideal is going to struggle with the idea of a polygamous religion...whether Muslim or traditionalist..or any other...being practiced by their husband.

The advice is sane.

2.Also, inter-religious marriages often flounder on the principle of 'which religion should the kids be brought up in.' And while it is easy to say that 'the kids will choose', in practice, it isn't that easy.

3.As for tribal bigotry in Nigeria, the problem for me is simple. Nigeria is a country where the economy has been run on 'We sell raw materials , we share the money., we import the stuff we need'. It is that share the money thing that exacerbates the tribal and religious differences in Nigeria. Most Nigerians don't want to be productive...and telling them they need to be more productive is tantamount to being called a 'government man'.(Meanwhile their government is like them...sell raw materials and use money to share).

Humans are insatiable.

richmond500:
Today I went for a talk show on relationship here in port Harcourt that held in a church, While the show was on, a lady asked a question which she said "I have a boyfriend, though he is very good and has everything u will need in a man but the problem is that he is a Muslim, should I go ahead and marry him"

I expected an unbiased answer from these pastors, but their answer was that "she shouldn't marry him because there is a high chance that he will marry another wife", seriously?
I was so pissed that such answer was coming from a church that shouldnt judge people cos of religious difference.
I came back home and discussed it with my brother and he fully supported the pastors, I begin to question my sanity, am I missing something? Shouldn't the church be a place where anyone should find solace irrespective of skin, status, race, belief and values? Hasn't the church lost its value if there is decrimination?
We know that there are Yoruba Muslims and Hausa Muslims that are very kind and good, just some Fulani muslims that are extremists?

There are also some Christians that are bad, there is a popular Pastor that impregnated another woman and his wife got pregnant for another man, we know most pastors that divorced, should we discriminate pastors too?
Why can't we keep religion and tribal differences and face the real enemies?

I am a Yoruba Muslim married to a Christian. I have only one wife. My wife and kids go to Church, while I go to the Mosque. I went to Catholic schools. I believe Islam is just a denomination of Christianity, just as we have Celestial, Cherubim, Deeper Life, Catholic, e.t.c. I had an 'A' in CRK in junior WAEC. So, you cannot tell me that you know about Christianity more than I do.

I have not seen and difference between Islam and Christianity because there is no difference between the content of Quran and the content of the Bible. I only see difference between you Christians and we Muslims because we interpreted the books to suit our selfish interest.

If you say the Quran told Muslims to kill unbelievers, I will tell you that was duplicated from the Bible because several passages of the Bible said that even if it is your blood brother that ask you to worship another god, you should the first to put him to death.

But, Christians do not go about killing people today like boko haran and Fulani herdsmen. Christians did their killings several decades ago.

About Muslims marrying many wives. Let me just remind you that Obasanjo is a Christian with many wives and Fashola, Tinubu, Buhari, Aregbesola are Muslims with just one wife.

Meanwhile, we Muslims are not begging you Christians to marry us, there is no scarcity of women in Islam.

Modrov:


1.Well, there is a high chance that a Muslim would marry a second wife, since polygamy is permitted in the religion, compared to christianity which at the very least adheres to the principle of monogamy (That many christians don't live up to that is a sad thing...and yes, many of them pastors get bashed for being amoral).
So a young Christian woman who all her life has been brought up with the idea that monogamy is the ideal is going to struggle with the idea of a polygamous religion...whether Muslim or traditionalist..or any other...being practiced by their husband.

The advice is sane.

shouldn't the wife discuss things beforehand with the man? That's the essense of courtship, Just because polygamy isn't frowned at doesn't mean they are all polygamous in nature, Christians preach against adultery but how many Xtians do u know that are not adulterous, intact while we condemn fornication, Christians don't see anything wrong in fornicating and they don't even hide it like their Muslim counterparts?

2.Also, inter-religious marriages often flounder on the principle of 'which religion should the kids be brought up in.' And while it is easy to say that 'the kids will choose', in practice, it isn't that easy.

truth is religion doesn't matter much, I have seen some so called christian family breed cultists and yahoo boys and have also seen some Muslims that are terrorists sympathizers, its the duty of parents and society to train the child, currently church is just a business, dance, sing, preach about wealth, pay tithe and flaunt private jets

3.As for tribal bigotry in Nigeria, the problem for me is simple. Nigeria is a country where the economy has been run on 'We sell raw materials , we share the money., we import the stuff we need'. It is that share the money thing that exacerbates the tribal and religious differences in Nigeria. Most Nigerians don't want to be productive...and telling them they need to be more productive is tantamount to being called a 'government man'.(Meanwhile their government is like them...sell raw materials and use money to share).

GBAMsolutely

naija4life247:


I am a Yoruba Muslim married to a Christian

is there anything wrong in ur marriage that is caused by religion difference?

The truth is human beings generally discriminate, you discriminate on the type of friends you want to be with, the type of school, church and mosque you want to attend or the type of food you want to eat, you also discriminate from good and bad, the type of job you want. The partner you want, Discrimination is a type of human protective and preservation mechanism against danger. Discrimination is part of life and it happens all over the world.


I opened a thread about why inter tribal marriages can be dangerous, https://www.nairaland.com/6720824/inter-ethnic-marriages-very-dangerous

many of the those i engaged with in a conversation attacked me, called me lot of rude names, then i asked if they will allow their children to marry someone from another religion, they ignored my question.

Nigerians are hypocrites, most of them that claim they can marry inter tribally Cant marry if the person is of another religion other than theirs.

Some of them can't even marry from a different denomination.

They are only woke when it comes to inter tribal marriages but when it concern religion they start acting weird.

richmond500:
is there anything wrong in ur marriage that is caused by religion difference?

Not really, just the normal couples quarrels, but it is still less than quarrels between my
four younger siblings and their spouses who are all Muslims.

Modrov:


1.Well, there is a high chance that a Muslim would marry a second wife, since polygamy is permitted in the religion, compared to christianity which at the very least adheres to the principle of monogamy (That many christians don't live up to that is a sad thing...and yes, many of them pastors get bashed for being amoral).
So a young Christian woman who all her life has been brought up with the idea that monogamy is the ideal is going to struggle with the idea of a polygamous religion...whether Muslim or traditionalist..or any other...being practiced by their husband.

The advice is sane.

2.Also, inter-religious marriages often flounder on the principle of 'which religion should the kids be brought up in.' And while it is easy to say that 'the kids will choose', in practice, it isn't that easy.

3.As for tribal bigotry in Nigeria, the problem for me is simple. Nigeria is a country where the economy has been run on 'We sell raw materials , we share the money., we import the stuff we need'. It is that share the money thing that exacerbates the tribal and religious differences in Nigeria. Most Nigerians don't want to be productive...and telling them they need to be more productive is tantamount to being called a 'government man'.(Meanwhile their government is like them...sell raw materials and use money to share).

Good. But serial marriages to different women is allowed by your brand of Christianity as Pastor Chris Okotie is doing. Or is it one wife but several girlfriends and sex partners like COZA Pastor Abiodun Gucci Fatoyinbo.

Tinubu, Fashola, Buhari, Aregbesola,Late Ajimobi are all Muslims with only one wife

Every muslim is a potential terrorist.
Op, u expect a pastor to advise the girl to marry a muslim? Are u serious?

thatigboman1:
Every muslim is a potential terrorist.
Op, u expect a pastor to advise the girl to marry a muslim? Are u serious?

Okay. Every idiot is a potential fool like you have proven.

thebosstrevor1:
The truth is human beings generally discriminate, you discriminate on the type of friends you want to be with, the type of school, church and mosque you want to attend or the type of food, you also discriminate from good and bad, the type of job you want. Discrimination is a type of human protective and preservation mechanism against danger.


I opened a thread about why inter tribal marriages can be dangerous, https://www.nairaland.com/6720824/inter-ethnic-marriages-very-dangerous

many of the those i engaged with in a conversation attacked me, called me lot of rude names, then i asked if they will allow their children to marry someone from another religion, they ignored my question.

Nigerians are hypocrites, most of them that claim they can marry inter tribally Cant marry if the person is of another religion other than theirs.

Some of them can't even marry from a different denomination.

why can't I marry from other religion? If we are compatible then I have no issue, I no deh carry religion for head o.
I'll install the societal norms in my children, when they come of age, they will choose the religion they prefer, I no even trust any religion to installed any moral value inside my pikin so I'll do the job

thatigboman1:
Every muslim is a potential terrorist.
Op, u expect a pastor to advise the girl to marry a muslim? Are u serious?

what's so bad in Muslim?
Should the church join the world in discriminating people?
Even Jesus Christ that we claim to follow is against decrimination and he shows severally that, it doesn't matter if u are an adulterer, a tax collector or any other thing. He is ready to visit u

richmond500:
why can't I marry from other religion? If we are compatible then I have no issue, I no deh carry religion for head o.
I'll install the societal norms in my children, when they come of age, they will choose the religion they prefer, I no even trust any religion to installed any moral value inside my pikin so I'll do the job

It is your personal choice and if your parents accept it, you know in African culture, if you marry someone, you also marry their family.

You might want to marry someone not from your religion but family members from both sides and maybe religious group can make the relationship frustrating, to the extent that you end up breaking up.

thebosstrevor1:
The truth is human beings generally discriminate, you discriminate on the type of friends you want to be with, the type of school, church and mosque you want to attend or the type of food you want to eat, you also discriminate from good and bad, the type of job you want. The partner you want,

there is a difference between decrimination and preference, dont mix them

Discrimination is a type of human protective and preservation mechanism against danger. Discrimination is part of life and it happens all over the world.

just because something happens all over the world doesn't make it morally right.[/quote]

thebosstrevor1:


It is your personal choice and if your parents accept it, you know in African culture, if you marry someone, you also marry their family.

You might want to marry someone not from your religion but family members from both sides and maybe religious group can make the relationship frustrating, to the extent that you end up breaking up.

u have to set boundaries and warn families not to overstep and destroy ur marriage, they are not the ones in the marriage therefore they can't just establish useless authority in some of my affairs

richmond500:
there is a difference between decrimination and preference, dont mix them
just because something happens all over the world doesn't make it morally right.

Preference is also a type of discrimination, to prefer something you are already discriminating against others or another thing.

E.g, i prefer tall guys, you are already discriminating against short people. I prefer, butter to cheese, you are already discriminating against cheese.

In my observation of how things work, the world does not work on morality or how yoiu want the world should be but it is run by choice, freewill, what you think is right for you and also legal laws

Everyone discriminate, if you discriminate against voting a particular candidacy in an election, is it morally wrong, no, you are ruled by your choice and freewill.

Discrimination is not neccesarily evil.

naija4life247:


Okay. Every idiot is a potential fool like you have proven.

yoruba muslims like u are the worst thing that has happened to mankind.
I say it again, with all my heart, every single muslim is a potential terrorist. Stay pained.

richmond500:
u have to set boundaries and warn families not to overstep and destroy ur marriage, they are not the ones in the marriage therefore they can't just establish useless authority in some of my affairs

Yes that is what people say, but in reality, many people don't want to be isolated from their families, they prefer to feel among than get the scorn of their families.

richmond500:
what's so bad in Muslim?
Should the church join the world in discriminating people?
Even Jesus Christ that we claim to follow is against decrimination and he shows severally that, it doesn't matter if u are an adulterer, a tax collector or any other thing. He is ready to visit u

muslims are easily brainwashed. Their religion is very violent. Even the nicest muslim can become a suicide bomber overnight if recruited by all those their extremist imams.

thebosstrevor1:


Preference is also a type of discrimination, to prefer something you are already discriminating against others or another thing.

E.g, i prefer tall guys, you are already discriminating against short people. I prefer, butter to cheese, you are already discriminating against cheese.

In my observation of how things work, the world does not work on morality or how yoiu want the world should be but it is run by choice, freewill, what you think is right for you and also legal laws

Everyone discriminate, if you discriminate against voting a particular candidacy in an election, is it morally wrong, no, you are ruled by your choice and freewill.

Discrimination is not neccesarily evil.

guy calm down, u were thought wrong, preference has nothing to do with discrimination

richmond500:

I expected an unbiased answer from these pastors, but their answer was that "she shouldn't marry him because there is a high chance that he will marry another wife", seriously?

Him lie He's only stating the obvious! While few stick to a wife, many marry more that one wife!

Their religious background is not the same! She needs to know what she's getting into!

Back in those days, there's back ground check-up on families you intend to marry into even people from the same place!

This is to let you know what you are getting into! To know if you can cope!

Should the pastor tell her to go ahead without enlightenment Then tomorrow when the husband eventually marries another wife, the woman runs back to the pastor! Then the problem becomes that of the pastor!

Some even end up killing their spouse out of jealousy

But if she decides to go ahead knowing these facts, then if the husband eventually marries another wife, they won't have problems and there will be peace!

These days we have seen a man marry 2 women at once! And they are all at home with it cause they know what they are going into! There was no deceit!

So the pastor has done the right thing!
Modified:

richmond500:
I expect the pastor to just end it at "they are mostly polygamous". Why tell her not to marry?

He advised against it and gave his reason, surely the lady in question is an adult!

If the man she intended to marry had told her this, don't you think she would have told the pastor that she knows

You see, we shouldn't mistake deceit or an eye opener for discrimination!

I still maintain that the pastor isn't discriminating but stating a fact! Its called counseling! The ball is now in the lady's court!

How exactly is that descrimination?

Marrying four wives is recommended for muslims but seen as a sin in Christianity that's why no true practicing Christian has more than one wife.

The real question here should be why do you hate the truth so much?

To be edited later.

naija4life247:


I am a Yoruba Muslim married to a Christian. I have only one wife. My wife and kids go to Church, while I go to the Mosque. I went to Catholic schools. I believe Islam is just a denomination of Christianity, just as we have Celestial, Cherubim, Deeper Life, Catholic, e.t.c. I had an 'A' in CRK in junior WAEC. So, you cannot tell me that you know about Christianity more than I do.

I have not seen and difference between Islam and Christianity because there is no difference between the content of Quran and the content of the Bible. I only see difference between you Christians and we Muslims because we interpreted the books to suit our selfish interest.

If you say the Quran told Muslims to kill unbelievers, I will tell you that was duplicated from the Bible because several passages of the Bible said that even if it is your blood brother that ask you to worship another god, you should the first to put him to death.

But, Christians do not go about killing people today like boko haran and Fulani herdsmen. Christians did their killings several decades ago.

About Muslims marrying many wives. Let me just remind you that Obasanjo is a Christian with many wives and Fashola, Tinubu, Buhari, Aregbesola are Muslims with just one wife.

Meanwhile, we Muslims are not begging you Christians to marry us, there is no scarcity of women in Islam.

richmond500:
why can't I marry from other religion? If we are compatible then I have no issue, I no deh carry religion for head o.
I'll install the societal norms in my children, when they come of age, they will choose the religion they prefer, I no even trust any religion to installed any moral value inside my pikin so I'll do the job

[color=#006600][/color]

Op I assume you are a moslem? Why it that northern moslems only allow their sons to marry a Christian lady but forbids their daughters to marry a Christian? I don't know what you intend to achieve with this thread?
It's only an ignorant southerner that does not know the true character of Hausas/fulani/northern moslems. Hypocrisy is not good.

9japride:
[color=#006600][/color]

Op I assume you are a moslem? Why it that northern moslems only allow their sons to marry a Christian lady but forbids their daughters to marry a Christian? I don't know what you intend to achieve with this thread?
It's only an ignorant southerner that does not know the true character of Hausas/fulani/northern moslems. Hypocrisy is not good.

I am a Christian and my lord Jesus Christ did not discriminate, why should I?