Hello FAM

This thread is for ladies only.

I want us to discuss how we women tackle infidelity from the men at home, I know most women don't care, some even permit their men to cheat (I have witnessed it) while to some its heartbreaking and painful.

I'm an introvert but ladies still come to me for all sort of advice, I don't want to advice people with my limited experience so I want ladies to share how they tackle such issues at home, like what did u do after finding out.

Last year, I visited the mental health unit at FMC and what I found out was alarming, young married women passing through mental problems, depression, and all sort of disturbance their head couldn't carry. I cried bitterly, a particular lady caught my attention and when I asked they said she is going through divorce, she has sacrificed everything for this man but when he asked for divorce she became suicidal.

I can go on and on, so ladies in the house, how do you tackle cheating, divorce, neglect and so many other heart breaking situations.

Divorce and go live a happy, fruitful, fulfilled life simple. I keep telling people that marriage is not a do or die affair, it is not a ticket to heaven, on judgement day, God will not judge based on being married or single, it is based on your deeds on earth, those that want to kill themselves because of one yeye cheat of a horseband, carry marriage for head like gala, or see themselves as nothing if they are not in husband's house should continue, they will just keep sinning or kill themselves lasan lasan, all for nothing.

I think it's best to avoid or do away with anything that would mess with your sanity.

At some point I had to give up on relationships because I discovered that I'm more at peace when not in any relationship.

Back then, when I was still fully into relationship stuff, I didn't have the patience to condone a cheating partner. If you cheat on me, I call it off Immediately. Then I get busy with either learning a new skill or engage in time consuming activities just to avoid sinking into depression or losing my sanity.

Another way to heal fast is to stop reading romantic novels or watching romantic movies.
I used to be a fan of romantic stories but due to relationship issues, i literally switched to detective stories and movies just to distract myself from any heart breaking thoughts and imaginations. Trust me, it works.

The problem here is that, many ladies keep blaming themselves, thinking it's their fault that a relationship failed. Then they try to make up for it by diving straight into another and yet another relationship with a wrong mindset, hurting themselves in the process, if and when it fails again.

The best any lady can do for herself is to take a break.
I've taken a break now for the past 6 yrs and I'm really enjoying it. With a healthy mental state. I couldn't ask for more.

Mummytoo:

Last year, I visited the mental health unit at FMC and what I found out was alarming, young married women passing through mental problems, depression, and all sort of disturbance their head couldn't carry. I cried bitterly, a particular lady caught my attention and when I asked they said she is going through divorce, she has sacrificed everything for this man but when he asked for divorce she became suicidal.

I can go on and on, so ladies in the house, how do you tackle cheating, divorce, neglect and so many other heart breaking situations.

The first way would be to tackle the perception many females have of marriage..... it is not mandatory, nor is it meant as a do-or-die affair, nor is it meant as a prison nor does it qualify as an achievement in life. It It simply a relationship like every other kind of relationship that exists out there - nothing more.

If a man has already cheated on you... the deed is done. You can't roll back time on it. What you can do is decide how you want to move forward from there and that the soundness of that decision depends to a great deal on your philosophy as far as life, love and happiness is concerned.

lkillbrokehoes:
K

K- for key

Mercychen:
I think it's best to avoid or do away with anything that would mess with your sanity.

At some point I had to give up on relationships because I discovered that I'm more at peace when not in any relationship.

Back then, when I was still fully into relationship stuff, I didn't have the patience to condone a cheating partner. If you cheat on me, I call it off Immediately. Then I get busy with either learning a new skill or engage in time consuming activities just to avoid sinking into depression or losing my sanity.

Another way to heal fast is to stop reading romantic novels or watching romantic movies.
I used to be a fan of romantic stories but due to relationship issues, i literally switched to detective stories and movies just to distract myself from any heart breaking thoughts and imaginations. Trust me, it works.

The problem here is that, many ladies keep blaming themselves, thinking it's their fault that a relationship failed. Then they try to make up for it by diving straight into another and yet another relationship with a wrong mindset, hurting themselves in the process, if and when it fails again.

The best any lady can do for herself is to take a break.
I've taken a break now for the past 6 yrs and I'm really enjoying it. With a healthy mental state. I couldn't ask for more.

Wow! I'm proud of you...

That is why ladies nowadays willing to get married should know what they want, that is why I love people going for counseling or attending marriage seminars. Many ladies are after lust, love of money, material things, which led to disappoint when they get home and all what they loved vanished away. Some women rushed into marriage with no jobs, no vision, no reason why they get married. Churches need to be doing marriage seminars at least 2 Sundays in a month to make some people know more about relationships.

Go to psycho unit in UCH, 90% of their patients are females with relationship wahala.

Women with the attitude of "I can't leave my husband" I just pity them.

Some women will feed the family, pay the children's school fees, pay all bills, yet the husband won't appreciate or value her. I asked some women selling in the market, "why they are always at the market come rain, come sun" some even with bruises and injuries yet they don't rest, the answer is they are the bread winners, with husbands that 80% don't care about the family.

If u are on this forum and u are passing through any form of abuse, please speak up and free yourself, don't die in any relationship, women are strong, we are pillars and should be respected.

People should take the time to know their partner before getting married.

Bola146:
That is why ladies nowadays willing to get married should know what they want, that is why I love people going for counseling or attending marriage seminars. ...

. Churches need to be doing marriage seminars at least 2 Sundays in a month to make some people know more about relationships.

Go to psycho unit in UCH, 90% of their patients are females with relationship wahala.

Marriage counseling the women are further indoctrinated into believing their role in marriage is one of submission and tolerance of what is tossed at them? The same churches that scold women into believing that Marilyn is a job unto them? Please stop!

Many of the psychiatric patients you claim you met are there because their minds could not handle the burden placed on them in the name of marriage...the burden society and counselors indoctrinated them into trying to bear.