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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / I Need Advise Urgently Cos I Am Losing It. (847 Views)
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I Need Advise Urgently Cos I Am Losing It. by Ednagirl87(f): 9:31am On Sep 11, 2021 |
Hi Nairalanders. Please I am desperately in need of sincere inputs to my issue. I am married with 2 kids. I got a job a year after marriage in 2018, my hubby is unemployed. I got paid after 3 months of work and Hubby suggested we buy a car, I didnt buy the idea at that time cos I know what and what is involved in maintaining a car and we are just young couples starting our life. But he insisted and like the dutiful wife I gave him the money and we bought the car. Ever since it has been from one issue to the other. All my salary is been used to maintain the car, we have 2 kids now but my husband doesnt care about their needs all he is interested in is car. I still use public transport to work, yet I spend big money every month maintaining a car. Last week he begged me for us to work the vehicle which I stupidly did and at the end the vehicle is still bad. I am at my wits end. As we speak not even I naira is left on me to feed my kids. I am tired of this life as it stands cos I have a partner who is only interested in satisfying himself and not the welfare of the family. I was upset yesterday and told him to sell the car, her went out this morning and called me that he has seen a buyer , and wants to buy a camry and asking me what do I think ![]() Please what do I do ?? I am frustrated as we speak. Thanks 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: I Need Advise Urgently Cos I Am Losing It. by Businessman1986(m): 9:43am On Sep 11, 2021 |
What a situation, husband has no job, two kids, not easy. What I think? Your salary should be used only for essential NEEDS. Bone the husband's WANTS, no matter the fantasies he may concoct on whatever (eg, fake it till you make it' line of reasoning) Do your duty to your offspring first. 3 Likes |
Re: I Need Advise Urgently Cos I Am Losing It. by Ednagirl87(f): 9:48am On Sep 11, 2021 |
What a situation, husband has no job, two kids, not easy. What I think? Your salary should be used only for essential NEEDS. Bone the husband's WANTS, no matter the fantasies he may concoct on whatever (eg, fake it till you make it' line of reasoning) Do your duty to your offspring first. [/quote] Thanks a lot bro. I appreciate |
Re: I Need Advise Urgently Cos I Am Losing It. by MsFaith: 10:02am On Sep 11, 2021 |
Businessman1986: That’s just it. Madam, stand your ground. 2 Likes |
Re: I Need Advise Urgently Cos I Am Losing It. by yomi007k(m): 10:21am On Sep 11, 2021 |
It is sad to note that you got married to a partner with poor financial education. Purchasing that car was a bad idea. Your family does not "need" a car unless you can prove it to me that you do. I advise you sell it to maintain your balance. 1 Like |
Re: I Need Advise Urgently Cos I Am Losing It. by WhiteIverson: 10:29am On Sep 11, 2021 |
What does he do with the car that requires constant maintenance? Is he a taxi driver? If so, why can't he use proceeds from driving to maintain the car? 1 Like |
Re: I Need Advise Urgently Cos I Am Losing It. by Nobody: 10:31am On Sep 11, 2021 |
File for a divorce and get your sanity in order...not all marriage is for better for worst, sometimes wisdom is needed. Get sense |
Re: I Need Advise Urgently Cos I Am Losing It. by AfroKnight: 10:32am On Sep 11, 2021 |
![]() Ednagirl87: It’s not “men”, it’s your husband. But wait, men go through this wahala every bloody day in the hands of their unemployed wives but we don’t see them running to nairaland to wail. Better face it like a man. If the universe gives you the opportunity to make wealth then you should develop leadership and management skills to maintain and grow that wealth. Cut unnecessary expenses and be strict. 1 Like |
Re: I Need Advise Urgently Cos I Am Losing It. by jaeyking(m): 10:41am On Sep 11, 2021 |
Ednagirl87: It's not "men" It's your husband. Well use your salary for the benefits of your kids and not an overgrown kid who doesn't work but wants a car. If he needs a car he should work for it. Madam it's your money and not his. You have given him a chance of say but he misused it so it's high time you take the bull by it's horn and do as u please 2 Likes |
Re: I Need Advise Urgently Cos I Am Losing It. by samwash(m): 11:08am On Sep 11, 2021 |
@Op, what do your husband use the car for? It would have been better if he uses the car to make money. As it's now if he can sell the car & use the money to start business that will be better. Some men Sha!! If this woman start disobeying the husband now , pple will see it that it's because the woman has money than the man. The man should start taking responsibilities, if not for ego, what will it take a man to hustle drity( menial job) to put food on the table. It's time to forget abt that paper & hit the street, that is were money is. 3 Likes |
Re: I Need Advise Urgently Cos I Am Losing It. by Ednagirl87(f): 10:55pm On Sep 11, 2021 |
samwash:He does nothing with the car expect cruising about with friends. Sand this period that is has been raining the roads are bad reson for the constant maintenance. I have tried to talk sense into him to tone down the usage since the burden is on only me to no avail. But this time around my feet is on the ground. |
Re: I Need Advise Urgently Cos I Am Losing It. by Ednagirl87(f): 10:56pm On Sep 11, 2021 |
jaeyking:Pardon me for that line, it was really frustrating to say the least. |
Re: I Need Advise Urgently Cos I Am Losing It. by Ednagirl87(f): 10:57pm On Sep 11, 2021 |
AfroKnight:Pardon me plss. I really appreciate Men who single handedly take up famil responsibility. It ain't easy oo. My eyes have seen something 1 Like |
Re: I Need Advise Urgently Cos I Am Losing It. by Ednagirl87(f): 10:58pm On Sep 11, 2021 |
Catfishing:I have thought about this too. There is no benefit in all of this for me. May God help me 1 Like |
Re: I Need Advise Urgently Cos I Am Losing It. by Ishilove: 11:01pm On Sep 11, 2021 |
Na wa o |
Re: I Need Advise Urgently Cos I Am Losing It. by Charmingrascal(m): 11:02pm On Sep 11, 2021 |
It is not only a woman that can be a liability to a man, some men are liability to their wives. Sorry to say but your man is a very selfish "full house husband". Let him buy the car if that is what is important to him at the moment he is not even using the car for Uber or other commercial purpose. He just needs a car to drive around and be forming big man, he is probably using same car to impress other women outside ( I am just saying, don't go and confront him about that). Let him buy the car but henceforth save your money for yourself and your children upkeep. Tell him if he can start using the car for commercial purpose, if he picks offence or get angry don't fight him because I am also a man and he might say because you are working and he is jobless that is why you are insulting him he might see ur advise as an insult. If he refuses, don't ever spend a dime on the car again. You bought a car and still taking public transport to work, can you imagine selfish man. 1 Like |
Re: I Need Advise Urgently Cos I Am Losing It. by Ednagirl87(f): 11:11pm On Sep 11, 2021 |
WhiteIverson:He is not a Taxi driver oo, just using the car for luxury and na me dey suffer am. No more oo. I can't take it anymore. 1 Like |
Re: I Need Advise Urgently Cos I Am Losing It. by AfroKnight: 11:19pm On Sep 11, 2021 |
Ednagirl87: Love has clouded your eyes. Normal level. Now it’s time to be strict and deliberate about how you want to manage the wealth life has given you. Don’t let anyone waste your money again. 2 Likes |
Re: I Need Advise Urgently Cos I Am Losing It. by Ednagirl87(f): 11:32pm On Sep 11, 2021 |
AfroKnight:Thanks a lot. 1 Like |
Re: I Need Advise Urgently Cos I Am Losing It. by Ednagirl87(f): 11:34pm On Sep 11, 2021 |
Charmingrascal:1 abig time liability. For me to bring it here it is really choking me now. I have tried to advise about the tansoortation thing but he wouldn't listen. Just firming big man for nothing and I still jump Keke oo my eyes don open, wont take it no more. Thanks for your input 1 Like |
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