Juliusdaughter:
Let me just start somewhere
Growing up as an introvert was difficult cos I guess my mum didn't understand my quite personality, she talks about how I am not 'sharp' how I am not fashionable and whatever else she cannot really relate to. I am in my mid 20s now and she still insults me when she is in the mood.
It's funny how I am the only child she insults so much, I am her first born. I left my former work place due to Corona last year and I've been home since. I have trained as a tailor tho I don't have a shop or customer base yet.

She insulted me tonight again for cooking dinner late, she said why should I finish cooking dinner by past 7? Called me names and all that. Its been over a year that she went to the market last because I now do that, I make breakfast and dinner, I don't keep late night, I barely go out, yet she finds reason to talk me down.

She has started to insult my fiancé now too, she says he is poor and cannot take care of me, what has he achieved for himself? And the reason she isn't much against us is because she doesn't know if he will have money tomorrow. He isn't even jobless, it's just unfortunate that government don't pay their workers on time.

I don't have a single emotional connection with her, I have tried and I have failed. I think it's time to move out of the house and start my tailoring business. I don't have the finance to rent a shop and a house separately, so I want to rent a room and parlor and make it both my living and work space. Is this a good move? I cannot function properly in this house anymore.
How do I build my customer base from working in the house?

Yes, that appears the best decision based on your story. My candid advice is, go and fend for yourself.

Kobojunkie:
Those who struggle with mental illness can also struggle with forming some of the typical bonds the average person out there considers Normal.

Yes,that's true

Serialchiller:
Please move out
Your mental health is really important and she’s obviously suffocating you
I moved out of my parents house a couple of months ago ,I’m barely 24 but I was done with all the insults and condescending remarks from my mother but now I’m in my space,I’m not going to say it’s been uhuru because honestly these past months has been crazy financially but I’m glad I’m on my own now
I can succeed and fail in peace
I came visiting this week since I moved out nd once I sense any drama
I’m carrying my back nd going back to my self con
I’ve never been happier tbh

You did great. They'd come to realize how important you were now u gone. Besides, u need to figure your life out.

Mercychen:
You're in your mid 20s? And still staying with your parents? It's obvious why your mom is picking on you unnecessarily. She wants you to leave and I think you should too.

I left exactly around that age, even without any pressure from my parents. So, I wonder what you're still doing there with all the insults.

As for your fiance, what part is he playing in establishing your tailoring biz? Or he too is "slow"?

Her situation isn't yours now,not everybody will be like you and try respecting time and differences,that your last question was a lil bit somehow
I'd say she should think things through well
OP think your finances well, you know your savings.
Ask yourself if you can do your Tailoring in your Mother's House for the meantime,curses don't kill, you need to be calculative and don't bow to pressure in an unstable state of mind..

That is d result of living with ur parents especially our mothers. They tend to be funny... Once u arrive, story go change

Help2020:
Yes,that's true

Ofcourse this is not to say that only mentally ill persons have this problem.... not at all. It 's just that happened to be my own case.

Juliusdaughter:
Let me just start somewhere
Growing up as an introvert was difficult cos I guess my mum didn't understand my quite personality, she talks about how I am not 'sharp' how I am not fashionable and whatever else she cannot really relate to. I am in my mid 20s now and she still insults me when she is in the mood.
It's funny how I am the only child she insults so much, I am her first born. I left my former work place due to Corona last year and I've been home since. I have trained as a tailor tho I don't have a shop or customer base yet.

She insulted me tonight again for cooking dinner late, she said why should I finish cooking dinner by past 7? Called me names and all that. Its been over a year that she went to the market last because I now do that, I make breakfast and dinner, I don't keep late night, I barely go out, yet she finds reason to talk me down.

She has started to insult my fiancé now too, she says he is poor and cannot take care of me, what has he achieved for himself? And the reason she isn't much against us is because she doesn't know if he will have money tomorrow. He isn't even jobless, it's just unfortunate that government don't pay their workers on time.

I don't have a single emotional connection with her, I have tried and I have failed. I think it's time to move out of the house and start my tailoring business. I don't have the finance to rent a shop and a house separately, so I want to rent a room and parlor and make it both my living and work space. Is this a good move? I cannot function properly in this house anymore.
How do I build my customer base from working in the house?

open an Instagram account and add as many of your friends as possible including those from university and your place of worship.

advertise your business on Instagram and offer to sew as cheap as possible.

advertise your work on Instagram with pictures of dresses you have sewn.

go and buy cheap ankara, have someone measure you and sew these dresses for yourself. wear them, have someone take lovely pictures and post on Instagram using trending hashtags. Slowly but surely, you will grow your customer base.

If you don't have the means to move out immediately, better stay back and make plans.

Me 2 im experiencing same,i'm moving out 2 lagos afta my service,a bt idk wat t do wen i get t Lagos though?no startup

Juliusdaughter:
Let me just start somewhere
Growing up as an introvert was difficult cos I guess my mum didn't understand my quite personality, she talks about how I am not 'sharp' how I am not fashionable and whatever else she cannot really relate to. I am in my mid 20s now and she still insults me when she is in the mood.
It's funny how I am the only child she insults so much, I am her first born. I left my former work place due to Corona last year and I've been home since. I have trained as a tailor tho I don't have a shop or customer base yet.

She insulted me tonight again for cooking dinner late, she said why should I finish cooking dinner by past 7? Called me names and all that. Its been over a year that she went to the market last because I now do that, I make breakfast and dinner, I don't keep late night, I barely go out, yet she finds reason to talk me down.

She has started to insult my fiancé now too, she says he is poor and cannot take care of me, what has he achieved for himself? And the reason she isn't much against us is because she doesn't know if he will have money tomorrow. He isn't even jobless, it's just unfortunate that government don't pay their workers on time.

I don't have a single emotional connection with her, I have tried and I have failed. I think it's time to move out of the house and start my tailoring business. I don't have the finance to rent a shop and a house separately, so I want to rent a room and parlor and make it both my living and work space. Is this a good move? I cannot function properly in this house anymore.
How do I build my customer base from working in the house?

It's really unfortunate that you have your own share of bad parenting,not surprised though,it's a way of life in Nigeria here.
Funny thing is, they always use words like "I'm disciplining you" to justify their wicked atrocities when table finally turns around without considering the negative impact on such child, from low self esteem,mental imbalance to development of phlegmatic lifestyle et.c.
If you are to take my advice,I will tell you to endure for a period of time while you save money for another apartment which is really important for you as your mental health is mandatory to stay positive,build your customer base while in the house right there by going all out to advertise to people,wedding planners for aso-ebi contracts,schools for uniform contracts and the likes,you can even talk to other tailors to give you connect while you give them a percentage when you are done as nothing is usually free(my life philosophy though).
After gaining financially and good customer base,you then move out.
Although,I will still want you to inform her about your departure in the best matured and diplomatic way..
Toxic parenting is really bad,stay blessed!
My 2 cent.

You just made front page.

Begin to sell your skills

Nobody can teach you what to do. If you like what she's doing to you stay there. If you dont like it, find a way to make it stop, or ultimately move out

Iseoluwani:



Pls just move out. Respect her tho. Don't even let her suspect anything

Why?
OP summon entitlement mentality if you have to
Stay right there and grow your savings
Your Mummy is not physically violent
Her Mummy did not use her mouth to send her out
She has to lock up and ask herself if she can get her Machine and sew right in her Mom's Home.
She can't just move out,it has to be thoroughly thought through
Enjoy your Mum's free food and shelter,while you wor on your skills and savings.
Lock up,get earpiece or ear pods.
It's your Mummy's duty to cater for you till you find your feet.

It is really very difficult to live with a toxic and negative person. There is nothing you can do to change her. Only God can do that. And she has to see the need for her to change first before she can change. The best thing for you is to move out of the house as soon as possible.

Enter instagram na.. First you didnt even state your location so people can patronize you..


It is true that you arent even smart sef. Pffft

Juliusdaughter:
Let me just start somewhere
Growing up as an introvert was difficult cos I guess my mum didn't understand my quite personality, she talks about how I am not 'sharp' how I am not fashionable and whatever else she cannot really relate to. I am in my mid 20s now and she still insults me when she is in the mood.
It's funny how I am the only child she insults so much, I am her first born. I left my former work place due to Corona last year and I've been home since. I have trained as a tailor tho I don't have a shop or customer base yet.

She insulted me tonight again for cooking dinner late, she said why should I finish cooking dinner by past 7? Called me names and all that. Its been over a year that she went to the market last because I now do that, I make breakfast and dinner, I don't keep late night, I barely go out, yet she finds reason to talk me down.

She has started to insult my fiancé now too, she says he is poor and cannot take care of me, what has he achieved for himself? And the reason she isn't much against us is because she doesn't know if he will have money tomorrow. He isn't even jobless, it's just unfortunate that government don't pay their workers on time.

I don't have a single emotional connection with her, I have tried and I have failed. I think it's time to move out of the house and start my tailoring business. I don't have the finance to rent a shop and a house separately, so I want to rent a room and parlor and make it both my living and work space. Is this a good move? I cannot function properly in this house anymore.
How do I build my customer base from working in the house?

Go to a market place n attach with someone if u have a machine...
Start small

"my dear take heart cause if u say make u leave d house ee no easy to rent house 4 lagos now unless u no de lagos...but if na dat guy house ur mind de aaaaaarh...wahala de oooh...u can't say no to him 4 long...so jejely maintain where u de till 4der notice lyk next year..azin once u out of the house no turning back just garther ur money no b 2day u start to de recive insult 4 urself and ur guy.....at d end d choice is urx...!!!!

If you don't move out of that house, her attitude can make you fall sick.

You're making a defining decision of your life. Move out and start your business. She will value your absence and appreciate your growth later.

And I Pray God will Bless the Work of your hand and you will excel exceedingly.

Please move out for your own mental health and Growth.

PS:Apply Wisdom. Don't approach your family and say you want to move out. Tell them instead that you got a job somewhere far from where you stay and you will be staying with a female friend that also work in the place.

Juliusdaughter:
Let me just start somewhere
Growing up as an introvert was difficult cos I guess my mum didn't understand my quite personality, she talks about how I am not 'sharp' how I am not fashionable and whatever else she cannot really relate to. I am in my mid 20s now and she still insults me when she is in the mood.
It's funny how I am the only child she insults so much, I am her first born. I left my former work place due to Corona last year and I've been home since. I have trained as a tailor tho I don't have a shop or customer base yet.

She insulted me tonight again for cooking dinner late, she said why should I finish cooking dinner by past 7? Called me names and all that. Its been over a year that she went to the market last because I now do that, I make breakfast and dinner, I don't keep late night, I barely go out, yet she finds reason to talk me down.

She has started to insult my fiancé now too, she says he is poor and cannot take care of me, what has he achieved for himself? And the reason she isn't much against us is because she doesn't know if he will have money tomorrow. He isn't even jobless, it's just unfortunate that government don't pay their workers on time.

I don't have a single emotional connection with her, I have tried and I have failed. I think it's time to move out of the house and start my tailoring business. I don't have the finance to rent a shop and a house separately, so I want to rent a room and parlor and make it both my living and work space. Is this a good move? I cannot function properly in this house anymore.
How do I build my customer base from working in the house?

Kobojunkie:
Hold on a second!

Not everyone is born with what you call am emotional connection with their parents units. For some it is a lifelong struggle, for others, life does not make sense without it. So, don't worry yourself too much about it. I didn't have an abusive parent and I still didn't have what many tag an emotional bond to mine. I only started developing it in my adult years... it comes and goes really.

You stated you have a store and have yet to even get customers. Why don't you wait until your have customers and have saved up enough to keep going for at least 3 months before you move out. Surely you can tune your mum and her issues out a little longer

Channel your frustrations into being the best seamstress you can be and prove her worries and insults wrong that way instead.\

Nice word of advice. Me 2 i am passing 2ru d same stres but sticking 2 ur word i tgth of moving out but kept tinking she will feel bcus she dnt female child

Thank you
No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t be productive in that house,I was contemplating suicide every other day
I came visiting now nd my mum is treating me like royalty and I don’t plan on staying long enough for her to go back to default

AutoChick4U:
You did great. They'd come to realize how important you were now u gone. Besides, u need to figure your life out.

Lol....most people have this expirence, I personally while I was with my parents didn't mind the insults, rent wasn't and isn't cheap in lagos plus the free food I was getting and the bills I wasn't paying, I took the insults in good strides and focused on my business...now I live comfortably in my home and almost call all the shots in family that once relegated me to back seat during family meetings.

Stay away from toxic people my dear.. they will only drain you..for every negative thing she said to you make your own positive affirmations and affirm away!

Mercychen:
You're in your mid 20s? And still staying with your parents? It's obvious why your mom is picking on you unnecessarily. She wants you to leave and I think you should too.

I left exactly around that age, even without any pressure from my parents. So, I wonder what you're still doing there with all the insults.

As for your fiance, what part is he playing in establishing your tailoring biz? Or he too is "slow"?

so much judgement in one comment. You have no idea what she passed/passing through that prevented her from taking the bold step yet you sat comfortably from your sofa spewing nonsense.

Olayetan:




My dear
Would you listen to the word of elders?


Do not move out, your mum is being hard on you cux she felt where you are isn't where you should be, improve yourself in what you do and try place value in your handwork, also try to keep up with the cooking at home, all of this aren't going to kill, in fact, it will build you for your home.


Moving out isn't an option you should consider, don't let her words get to you, she's also pained n doesn't know how best to approach the situation, but don't see it as hatred towards you, just focus on how to improve yourself in what you do and your mum will realise what she's doing to you as time goes on...

Bullshiiitt advice, op, don't take this.

Mum is hard cos op isn't where she should be and that makes the constant insults okay? Do you realize being insulted on a regular basis especially by ones parents can lead to emotional and mental wounds which are usually worse than physical ones?

Op, move out as soon as you can afford it and you have a sustainable income.

Na your mama you they talk to like that? Ok no problem go rent apartment na that your fiancee go give Belle run away

Young lady don't move out yet if you don't have enough in your account oo...
Things are not rosy out here, Buhari and his economic policies are making things hard for people...
Paying of bills is not funny o.
God help us.

Serialchiller:
Thank you
No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t be productive in that house,I was contemplating suicide every other day
I came visiting now nd my mum is treating me like royalty and I don’t plan on staying long enough for her to go back to default

The negative energy and dampingly of your moral won't let you. You even lucky u have a fiancée, in my case eh, d men will suddenly change without any provocation like say dem see my face for dream...Lolz. Please don't go back, you deserve the respect as an individual.

I can relate to your pains, am the first as well and am married, I had to pack out of the house to avoid crisis between my wife and my mum, now she is having bad feelings cos my lost job is back am stabilizating and I have kept a distance with her.

I have a free accommodation.

Come and be staying with me