So sad !! but please do not bear it against her. Just source for fund and leave the house.meanwhile use the same apartment for your tailoring outfit. Once she sees you are doing well ,she would come around. Also try and keep your progress and secrets away from her and others for the meantime. You will see how God will show up for you.

Mercychen:
You're in your mid 20s? And still staying with your parents? It's obvious why your mom is picking on you unnecessarily. She wants you to leave and I think you should too.

I left exactly around that age, even without any pressure from my parents. So, I wonder what you're still doing there with all the insults.

As for your fiance, what part is he playing in establishing your tailoring biz? Or he too is "slow"?

Mid twenties is still young na wetin dey worry una sef

Ehyah!!! Sorry sister


Insults is only thing I hate most

Any time she insults, show her a mood that u can't take it anymore, tell her blank that u will soon leave her house but should please give u a reason to appreciate God always for creating you like that....

God knows insults is only last thing I can take from anyone except my customers and it has a reason, not because they are always right

Juliusdaughter:
Let me just start somewhere
Growing up as an introvert was difficult cos I guess my mum didn't understand my quite personality, she talks about how I am not 'sharp' how I am not fashionable and whatever else she cannot really relate to. I am in my mid 20s now and she still insults me when she is in the mood.
It's funny how I am the only child she insults so much, I am her first born. I left my former work place due to Corona last year and I've been home since. I have trained as a tailor tho I don't have a shop or customer base yet.

She insulted me tonight again for cooking dinner late, she said why should I finish cooking dinner by past 7? Called me names and all that. Its been over a year that she went to the market last because I now do that, I make breakfast and dinner, I don't keep late night, I barely go out, yet she finds reason to talk me down.

She has started to insult my fiancé now too, she says he is poor and cannot take care of me, what has he achieved for himself? And the reason she isn't much against us is because she doesn't know if he will have money tomorrow. He isn't even jobless, it's just unfortunate that government don't pay their workers on time.

I don't have a single emotional connection with her, I have tried and I have failed. I think it's time to move out of the house and start my tailoring business. I don't have the finance to rent a shop and a house separately, so I want to rent a room and parlor and make it both my living and work space. Is this a good move? I cannot function properly in this house anymore.
How do I build my customer base from working in the house?

Don't move out yet, you will move out graciously in due course. Bear it with her a little more for now, the reason is because - in life we don't have comfortable all the time but we have to live with some discomfort too.

stunnert:
I can never marry a woman like my mum

Whhhhaaattttt!!!!!

Ewu! Instead of you to take to instructions that will help in building your future home, you consider her lovely guidance as insults, move out please, but I am so sure you will be sent back one day to learn what you are trying to avoid. Incorrigible!.

fineboynl:
Lol you don't have a customer base and you want to rent a room and parlor. And using the parlor as shop. I can see reasons why you mom think you are not sharp and very dull.

You need a shop at a busy place. Make alot of samples of your work and display them to passerby.

Better remain where you are and rent a shop first and not a room and parlor.

And you think you are smart with such a comment?

Juliusdaughter:
Let me just start somewhere
Growing up as an introvert was difficult cos I guess my mum didn't understand my quite personality, she talks about how I am not 'sharp' how I am not fashionable and whatever else she cannot really relate to. I am in my mid 20s now and she still insults me when she is in the mood.
It's funny how I am the only child she insults so much, I am her first born. I left my former work place due to Corona last year and I've been home since. I have trained as a tailor tho I don't have a shop or customer base yet.

She insulted me tonight again for cooking dinner late, she said why should I finish cooking dinner by past 7? Called me names and all that. Its been over a year that she went to the market last because I now do that, I make breakfast and dinner, I don't keep late night, I barely go out, yet she finds reason to talk me down.

She has started to insult my fiancé now too, she says he is poor and cannot take care of me, what has he achieved for himself? And the reason she isn't much against us is because she doesn't know if he will have money tomorrow. He isn't even jobless, it's just unfortunate that government don't pay their workers on time.

I don't have a single emotional connection with her, I have tried and I have failed. I think it's time to move out of the house and start my tailoring business. I don't have the finance to rent a shop and a house separately, so I want to rent a room and parlor and make it both my living and work space. Is this a good move? I cannot function properly in this house anymore.
How do I build my customer base from working in the house?

I have been in same position I know how it feels

Send me a msg

Notify me when you are ready to move out I can help u

aumeehn:
She is a narcissist. The only way she will feel good is after insulting her daughter. So forget about she being in a rough situation or whatever, she is a narcissist, I am also suffering from same situation, and Alhamdulillah I am almost out of sight!

Solidly hoping oluwa make things easy for you.

Pharaoh4rin:



Whhhhaaattttt!!!!!

I swear bro, I can never marry a woman like my mum. She does so many stupid and dumb things I detest and when I try correcting her, she won't listen but say she has been alive long before I was born and she has seen more than I have ( like does that even makes sense to you). I thank God everyday for giving me a different mindset from her own. I felt so much joy and peace when I finally moved out

Arsenate:

Bullshiiitt advice, op, don't take this.

Mum is hard cos op isn't where she should be and that makes the constant insults okay? Do you realize being insulted on a regular basis especially by ones parents can lead to emotional and mental wounds which are usually worse than physical ones?

Op, move out as soon as you can afford it and you have a sustainable income.

She will regret if she moves out at this point of her life cux she has no sustainable means.

This is what most parents do to frustrate the efforts of their children, even in my late 30s I still experience same thing, I've not spoken with my mum in a while cos insulting me is all she knows how to do despite the fact that I'm the first son, when things were rosy for me the insult reduced but now it's everyday, and worst I started experiencing same thing from my siblings so now myself and my wife we are the only family I know, I just pray God make a way for us to overcome all of this

Juliusdaughter:
Let me just start somewhere
Growing up as an introvert was difficult cos I guess my mum didn't understand my quite personality, she talks about how I am not 'sharp' how I am not fashionable and whatever else she cannot really relate to. I am in my mid 20s now and she still insults me when she is in the mood.
It's funny how I am the only child she insults so much, I am her first born. I left my former work place due to Corona last year and I've been home since. I have trained as a tailor tho I don't have a shop or customer base yet.

She insulted me tonight again for cooking dinner late, she said why should I finish cooking dinner by past 7? Called me names and all that. Its been over a year that she went to the market last because I now do that, I make breakfast and dinner, I don't keep late night, I barely go out, yet she finds reason to talk me down.

She has started to insult my fiancé now too, she says he is poor and cannot take care of me, what has he achieved for himself? And the reason she isn't much against us is because she doesn't know if he will have money tomorrow. He isn't even jobless, it's just unfortunate that government don't pay their workers on time.

I don't have a single emotional connection with her, I have tried and I have failed. I think it's time to move out of the house and start my tailoring business. I don't have the finance to rent a shop and a house separately, so I want to rent a room and parlor and make it both my living and work space. Is this a good move? I cannot function properly in this house anymore.
How do I build my customer base from working in the house?

Pharaoh4rin:



Whhhhaaattttt!!!!!

what is what? You are not in his shoes so you won't understand the pains and emotional trauma he is going through.

Juliusdaughter:
Let me just start somewhere
Growing up as an introvert was difficult cos I guess my mum didn't understand my quite personality, she talks about how I am not 'sharp' how I am not fashionable and whatever else she cannot really relate to. I am in my mid 20s now and she still insults me when she is in the mood.
It's funny how I am the only child she insults so much, I am her first born. I left my former work place due to Corona last year and I've been home since. I have trained as a tailor tho I don't have a shop or customer base yet.

She insulted me tonight again for cooking dinner late, she said why should I finish cooking dinner by past 7? Called me names and all that. Its been over a year that she went to the market last because I now do that, I make breakfast and dinner, I don't keep late night, I barely go out, yet she finds reason to talk me down.

She has started to insult my fiancé now too, she says he is poor and cannot take care of me, what has he achieved for himself? And the reason she isn't much against us is because she doesn't know if he will have money tomorrow. He isn't even jobless, it's just unfortunate that government don't pay their workers on time.

I don't have a single emotional connection with her, I have tried and I have failed. I think it's time to move out of the house and start my tailoring business. I don't have the finance to rent a shop and a house separately, so I want to rent a room and parlor and make it both my living and work space. Is this a good move? I cannot function properly in this house anymore.
How do I build my customer base from working in the house?

I like the way your writing is flawless. Are you done with school? No mention of school result, corporate job search, etc

Lucrativress:

Her situation isn't yours now,not everybody will be like you and try respecting time and differences,that your last question was a lil bit somehow
I'd say she should think things through well
OP think your finances well, you know your savings.
Ask yourself if you can do your Tailoring in your Mother's House for the meantime,curses don't kill, you need to be calculative and don't bow to pressure in an unstable state of mind..

I don't understand how you guys view my comment.
I'm not trying to compare myself to her by citing my case as an example but responding to her question (that is it time) for her to move.

Also, for OP to be considering getting an apartment shows she's financially capable and has done her calculations before bringing up the idea. Reason I urged her to leave. Therefore, the question of checking her finances and all that shouldn't come up.

My dear take it or leave it most frustrating moment of any man or woman sometimes na our mothers they causes them especially to the male counterparts.. Thereby putting some to the wrong part the only advice I have for you is to relocate ooo I has a friend na so his mother go dey nag am everything he does irritates her to the extent the guy come dey ask me weather na em mama truly born am.. Fast forward this year he want to arraign with me as in staying my side so we go put head together put am to his endeavors since January he left my side cos he dol find new apartment dey manage em self... Anytime he travel back home na so d mama go make boost of him my dear relocate small make dey find you then you'll see what am telling you... Yur respect go dey for you unlike before..

We live together by wisdom..your mom has the weakness of ranting and that should never bother you but make you focus . Just close your ears to whatever abuse and keep focus ..plan your exit and don't do things out of pressure. Very soon you will prove to her that you are brain and brawn.

saintruky:


Ma dear don't rush into marriage cos of ya mom... So u don't end up like her someday...

Fact ur mom sees u home everyday being idle n eating all her foods coupled with d fact something must have led to ur birth is d reason she's like that towards u... At this juncture i can't advise u sit n talk with her... Rather I'd advise thus;

Since u have d finance to rent a room n parlour.. I'll suggest u look for a low-cost store to rent, then find a 2nd hand manual sewing machine to buy, get an iron n table then commence ur fashion job.. like someone said earlier, charge a lil less but be sure u are good at d art of fashion... As a starter ur jobs done will sell u...

If i may, wetin ur fiancé dey talk about the whole issue?

Thank you. I already have all the necessary machines and everything I need to start up. I have my own money as well, but I don't want to let my fiancé in on all of these because I don't want him to have a feeling that my mum doesn't like him.

shawante:
It's quite easy.. Just charge below the average price of sewing and if you're good the word will spread around

This is not how u get customers in sewing.

If u want to get customers be the kind of tailor that never disappoints

Mercychen:
You're in your mid 20s? And still staying with your parents? It's obvious why your mom is picking on you unnecessarily. She wants you to leave and I think you should too.

I left exactly around that age, even without any pressure from my parents. So, I wonder what you're still doing there with all the insults.

As for your fiance, what part is he playing in establishing your tailoring biz? Or he too is "slow"?

Rubbish talk. So its now bad for a lady in her mid 20s to still b living in her parents house?? A lady for that matter? You want her to turn olosho ni? She downsnt hv to leave her parents house until she's gainfully employed and self independent! What sort of stupid advice is this??

Olayetan:



She will regret if she moves out at this point of her life cux she has no sustainable means.

I intentionally didn't talk about my finances in the post because I didn't create the thread to talk about that. I'm in a good place financially. Thanks for your concern.

shawante:
It's quite easy.. Just charge below the average price of sewing and if you're good the word will spread around

Yes, and do referral services. Any customer that brings 3,4,5 customers to you, gets 1 free sewing

Kenechukwu98:
My dear take it or leave it most frustrating moment of any man or woman sometimes na our mothers they causes them especially to the male counterparts.. Thereby putting some to the wrong part the only advice I have for you is to relocate ooo I has a friend na so his mother go dey nag am everything he does irritates her to the extent the guy come dey ask me weather na em mama truly born am.. Fast forward this year he want to arraign with me as in staying my side so we go put head together put am to his endeavors since January he left my side cos he dol find new apartment dey manage em self... Anytime he travel back home na so d mama go make boost of him my dear relocate small make dey find you then you'll see what am telling you... Yur respect go dey for you unlike before..

Thank you I'll do the needful soon enough

Asiseeit:


Yes, and do referral services. Any customer that brings 3,4,5 customers to you, gets 1 free sewing

This is a nice one

OriOko88:


Rubbish talk. So its now bad for a lady in her mid 20s to still b living in her parents house?? A lady for that matter? You want her to turn olosho ni? She downsnt hv to leave her parents house until she's gainfully employed and self independent! What sort of stupid advice is this??

And how does my opinion affect your brain? Besides it's the ops wish and idea to move out in the first place and not mine. So why are you now making it sound like I just woke up and suggested she left?

That said. Who says it's a crime for a lady in her mid 20s to live alone.? Please drop that warped mentality.
Abroad, 18yr olds are living on their own and fully responsible for themselves. I see no reason why a 20 something years old can not chose to live all by herself if she feels up to it.

Please, drop that mentality of yours.

Kobojunkie:
Please, do not let this cause you to rush into marriage. Instead, try to get yourself stable even before you marry so you are able to be an equal partner in your marriage.

Ofcourse, she is leaving the house to protect her mental health when she might not be well quipped to do so. Thats the irony of life. Pressures like these is what makes one decide to marry and then, fall into wrong hands.

TheSociopath:


I like the way your writing is flawless. Are you done with school? No mention of school result, corporate job search, etc

Yes. I didn't like the corporate job so I left

Mercychen:


I don't understand how you guys view my comment.
I'm not trying to compare myself to her by citing my case as an example but responding to her question (that is it time) for her to move.

Also, for OP to be considering getting an apartment shows she's financially capable and has done her calculations before bringing up the idea. Reason I urged her to leave. Therefore, the question of checking her finances and all that shouldn't come up.

She is under duress
She'll need to grow a tough skin first,so she can think straight.
If she can't deal with her Mummy's excesses,how will she be able to deal with annoying customers?

Authoreety:
Move

I had same experience while growing up, mum was always on my neck for every reason.. I made up my mind to leave.. Rented an apartment, furnished it and just left. She wept wen I told her my reason for leaving... But I earned more respect from her which has continued to grow uptil date.

Meaning she was doing it without realising she was hurting u. Hmmmmm. U have a point that leaving is the ultimate solution. I pray the partner doesnt treat her bad becos of it.

MummyD2020:


Ofcourse, she is leaving the house to protect her mental health when she might not be well quipped to do so. Thats the irony of life. Pressures like these is what makes one decide to marry and then, fall into wrong hands.

I am equipped to leave, I didn't talk about my finances cos this thread isn't about that. I have everything it takes to start up. And the marriage isn't something that I am doing out of rush too.

Juliusdaughter:

I intentionally didn't talk about my finances in the post because I didn't create the thread to talk about that. I'm in a good place financially. Thanks for your concern.

I wouldn't still advise you to move out, think of other things living alone, can you cope with that apart from being financially stable.