Matured advice only, A friend of mine who happens to be my neighbor is having difficulties deciding what to do. Her husband who is a business man told her he is traveling to Abuja and when she inquired to know why he is traveling he refused to tell her, he bought flight ticket and left their home to Abuja and my friend dropped him off at the airport thinking maybe when he gets there, he will tell him why he travelled. Few hrs after the man arrived my friend called and was hearing women’s voice in the bar ground, when she insisted on whom he went to see, oga ended the call, she called back and oga picked but refused to talk. Maters excalated and a man picked the call and tried to explain to madam that nothing was happening and that a man shouldn’t be telling a wife abt his every move. My friend rushed and reported his husband behavior to his elder sister who he listens to and when his sister called, he explained to her that he went for business. But my friends anger is why will her husband not tell her why he is traveling. The next morning oga called and still tried to claim he was right but amidst the conversation and before they could resolve the issue the call dropped, and he never called back, it’s been 3 days now and he has not called my friend neither has my friend called him back. She needs your urgent advice on how to pass a massage to her husband that what he did is not acceptable. Was oga right with what he did? Is my friend over reacting? Note my friend is a house wife and depends on husbands monthly allowance to feed. Married folks pls advice her as I am not married and don’t know what to tell her. She will read your comments. Thanks.

You(r) friend should mellow down. Trust is key to a happy home. He might just be telling the truth after all.

When she goes to the market, does oga have or show doubt? So why then does she think his business trip is a 'cheat trip?' She might just need to attend a class for marital insecurity.

You, or your friend is just paranoid and overreactingly insecure.

Even if the man was hitherto clean, this overbearing attitude will eventually push him into thinking " fukk it, I have already been accused and sentenced over nothing. I might just as well do the do and take the blame, sentence, or curse in advance or arrears".

Here is how to pay him.

1. Befriend your man friend
2. Share your dirty linen everywhere.
3. Date one of your friends.
4. Gain family support.
5. Break your car's windscreen.
6. Walk away.
7. Wait it out.
8. Play the pregnant card.
9. Serve him his favorite and tell him you think you poisoned the food because he is cheating.
10. Seek divorce.



Two wrong can never make a right.

Best Advice

Pray (please see the movie: War Room)

But Women too dey assume. Just because he refused to tell her about his Abuja doesn't meaning he went to Abuja on a cheating spree. He could be there on a top secret business .

Although I see miscommunication, lack of trust and understanding between your friend and her husband.

BTW, Op, I know your friend is you.

finewoman:
Matured advice only, A friend of mine who happens to be my neighbor is having difficulties deciding what to do. Her husband who is a business man told her he is traveling to Abuja and when she inquired to know why he is traveling he refused to tell her, he bought flight ticket and left their home to Abuja and my friend dropped him off at the airport thinking maybe when he gets there, he will tell him why he travelled. Few hrs after the man arrived my friend called and was hearing women’s voice in the bar ground, when she insisted on whom he went to see, oga ended the call, she called back and oga picked but refused to talk. Maters excalated and a man picked the call and tried to explain to madam that nothing was happening and that a man shouldn’t be telling a wife abt his every move. My friend rushed and reported his husband behavior to his elder sister who he listens to and when his sister called, he explained to her that he went for business. But my friends anger is why will her husband not tell her why he is traveling. The next morning oga called and still tried to claim he was right but amidst the conversation and before they could resolve the issue the call dropped, and he never called back, it’s been 3 days now and he has not called my friend neither has my friend called him back. She needs your urgent advice on how to pass a massage to her husband that what he did is not acceptable. Was oga right with what he did? Is my friend over reacting? Note my friend is a house wife and depends on husbands monthly allowance to feed. Married folks pls advice her as I am not married and don’t know what to tell her. She will read your comments. Thanks.

SHE IS NOT MATURE FOR A MATURE ADVICE


Is she so jobless? to be worrying about her husband this way without proof and already reporting him to family? Is she is MOM?

Abeg, she should grow up. The man is also guilty, he should have told her why he is traveling and called her only when he is alone.

SEE, A WOMAN WHO WANTS PEACE WILL NEVER CONFRONT HER MAN WITHOUT LOGICAL PROOF....

Men should be careful of marrying drama queens... if she is busy with her business or work and children, I believe her reaction may be more mature... A MAN CAN ACT ANYHOW SOMETIMES, he needs an understanding woman, who will calmly wait till she has FULL PROOF and confront him in love WITHOUT INVOLVING THIRD PARTY LIKE YOU-HER FRIEND AND HIS SISTER OR MILLIONTH PARTY LIKE NAIRALAND.

A wise woman builds her HOME, an OTHERWISE woman tears it down by always being too suspicious and seeking outside help.

I know women who tap their husbands' phones. so all calls and text and whatsapp and pictures get to their email.... THEY ARE AT PEACE

Your extended family will respect your nuclear family more when you hardly bring issues to them and there is peace and harmony.

finewoman:
But my friends anger is why will her husband not tell her why he is traveling. The next morning oga called and still tried to claim he was right but amidst the conversation and before they could resolve the issue the call dropped, and he never called back, it’s been 3 days now and he has not called my friend neither has my friend called him back. She needs your urgent advice on how to pass a massage to her husband that what he did is not acceptable. Was oga right with what he did? Is my friend over reacting? Note my friend is a house wife and depends on husbands monthly allowance to feed. Married folks pls advice her as I am not married and don’t know what to tell her. She will read your comments. Thanks.

Never try to take action when you are high, especially emotionally!

What your friend needs to do is calm/simmer down. That energy she wants to spend relaying a message to her husband is best spent elsewhere and that is on reevaluating her priorities and her place in the marriage. My hope is this crisis has at least awakened her senses to one of the potential downsides of sitting as a "housewife" in a marriage.

From the story you have told, OP, it seems the wife doesn't have enough to conclude on infidelity from this, but we can say that she has indeed been disrespected by her husband. So, she can maybe talk to him about that when he returns .

The man has gone on a business trip and in that trip he intends to cheat. Whether she likes it or not, the deed will be done.

I will tell you the bitter truth.

Your friend has no leverage to question her husband. When they tell you women to find something doing you'll refuse. Now her husband is treating her like trash because apart from the hole between her legs, she has nothing else of value to offer.

@finewoman:

Your friend's husband is disrespectful; I do not understand how a husband would leave his wife at home without properly defining his whereabouts.

We do not understand how this disrespect also seeps into other parts of their marriage so it is hard to understand how being a housewife ties into the whole scenario.

She could have kept the matter between them and waited for the man to come back home before confronting him. There was no need to escalate to his sister or rake over the phone till a third party was de-escalating the issue by yarning dust.

ValCon888:
The man has gone on a business trip and in that trip he intends to cheat. Whether she likes it or not, the deed will be done.

I will tell you the bitter truth.

Your friend has no leverage to question her husband. When they tell you women to find something doing you'll refuse. Now her husband is treating her like trash because apart from the hole between her legs, she has nothing else of value to offer.

@ bold:

1. Are you saying that if this OP starts working and contributes financially in the home, she does not have to do ANY OTHER THING? As in if she drops part of her paycheck and she zooms off till the next month, she is valuable to the marriage/man?

2. Do you think that only housewives suffer this type of disrespect?

3. Are you agreeing that a husband should be treated like trash if (God forbid) he loses his job? Afterall, all he would be offering at that point would be the stick in between his legs.

LEAVE him, thats the best payback.

InfernoNig:

But Women too dey assume. Just because he refused to tell her about his Abuja doesn't meaning he went to Abuja on a cheating spree. He could be there on a top secret business .

Although I see miscommunication, lack of trust and understanding between your friend and her husband.

BTW, Op, I know your friend is you.

Men do it too so that isn't a women-only thing but a human thing...

Women. Very funny creature. Your man doesn't need to travel to Abuja to cheat. He can do that right in your matrimonial home if he so desire. Work on your insecurity.

bukatyne:


@ bold:

1. Are you saying that if this OP starts working and contributes financially in the home, she does not have to do ANY OTHER THING? As in if she drops part of her paycheck and she zooms off till the next month, she is valuable to the marriage/man?

2. Do you think that only housewives suffer this type of disrespect?

3. Are you agreeing that a husband should be treated like trash if (God forbid) he loses his job? Afterall, all he would be offering at that point would be the stick in between his legs.

Firstly, you're misconstruing "value" for money. They are two different things. Your second point is moot because we both know other people suffer the same situation.
As to your third point, I cannot agree to something that is already a reality to so many men.

Home breakers will storm this thread. Idiots.

Kobojunkie:
Men do it too so that isn't a women-only thing but a human thing...

Before a man will start asking question, that means he has evidence.

The way I'm reading about infidelity in marriage, I'm just tired,,being single whala married another whala,,it is well

Op I'm short of words

.

debbydams:
The way I'm reading about infidelity in marriage, I'm just tired,,being single whala married another whala,,it is well

Op I'm short of words

pleaise do u have yansh and pliese can u kindly describe yor sef from waist down wards..u loook famaliar please & i have have moiney becuase I drive range rover & i wanto no u has a friend pleiase?

InfernoNig:

Before a man will start asking question, that means he has evidence.

That one na lie!

Pumpumking:



pleaise do u have yansh and pliese can u kindly describe yor sef from waist down wards..u loook famaliar please & i have have moiney becuase I drive range rover & i wanto no u has a friend pleiase?

pls stop it,,kindly stop quoting me pls

debbydams:
pls stop it,,kindly stop quoting me pls

serrrriosly but how do uexpet to find man on nairaland when u keeep havin atitude everytime? Is it iligal to toast u? wha tha hell? growwwwwwup please. U aint half cast, u aint lightskin, u aint even white but yet u very rudes. ok proof yor sef: if u no u like black people, gimmmme yor nomba witout cusssin people like housemade girl ?

Let her drop the house wife status and get busy with a job. That way she won't have the time to be snooping on her husband.

Even if the man wants to cheat under her very nose without getting caught, he'll do it. So, there's no point stressing her life unnecessarily.

She should have married someone she can trust to avoid this heartache.

finewoman:
Matured advice only, A friend of mine who happens to be my neighbor is having difficulties deciding what to do. Her husband who is a business man told her he is traveling to Abuja and when she inquired to know why he is traveling he refused to tell her, he bought flight ticket and left their home to Abuja and my friend dropped him off at the airport thinking maybe when he gets there, he will tell him why he travelled. Few hrs after the man arrived my friend called and was hearing women’s voice in the bar ground, when she insisted on whom he went to see, oga ended the call, she called back and oga picked but refused to talk. Maters excalated and a man picked the call and tried to explain to madam that nothing was happening and that a man shouldn’t be telling a wife abt his every move. My friend rushed and reported his husband behavior to his elder sister who he listens to and when his sister called, he explained to her that he went for business. But my friends anger is why will her husband not tell her why he is traveling. The next morning oga called and still tried to claim he was right but amidst the conversation and before they could resolve the issue the call dropped, and he never called back, it’s been 3 days now and he has not called my friend neither has my friend called him back. She needs your urgent advice on how to pass a massage to her husband that what he did is not acceptable. Was oga right with what he did? Is my friend over reacting? Note my friend is a house wife and depends on husbands monthly allowance to feed. Married folks pls advice her as I am not married and don’t know what to tell her. She will read your comments. Thanks.

Anytime a man wants to cheat they will be forming and claiming rights to cover up

Let's assume he went to see another woman, that means he has been cheating on her and now he has moved the game to another state

Tell your friend to relax and stop reporting him

Let her just make sure that, she makes crazy demands for the children and other home things to the extent that he won't have enough to give to another woman

Over time he will get tired of cheating

Men do cheat for no good reason