elonmuskbaby:
Hmnn

I think this issue is lack of communication

Communicate your feelings and expectations to her

chatinent:


This scenario reminds me of Jude and Eniola Badmus that was always cartoonized on The Sun Newspaper.

That means if she were the one providing the meals, ọ ga -esiri gị ike ga ahu banana nke a rapuru fo.

Mehn..

Nothing dey vex me pass references to every little efforts you make forgetting my daily stabs to make you happy.

Most women cannot be men even for a day.

Only one evening my cousin sister took me out, I never even remove my shoe naim I read her status: “I like the woman I am becoming. Always learn to man your womanhood.”

The only thing most women tend to appreciate is credit alerts..or send your account number. They will become so emotional..they can even cry.

Let the case be the reverse.

Make she just take care of you for two days.

You go hear weeen. She go even remind you how she carry you for stomach for nine months.

“Richie, what is this na, can't I have peace after coming back from work again? How can you eat and cannot wash your plates again! What's this na!”

“Baby, why are you shouting? The neighbours are at...”

“Don't baby me. What have I not done to make you happy? Will I kill myself? Am I the only married woman in the world..what is this na.”

(You try to hold her hands to calm her down...she slaps you damn hard).

“(She is crying now..tears flowly freely). Just see what you made me do. Just see it. Everything is just wrong with this world.”

You mah wey dem slap go still go meet am for parlour where she dey cry dey pet am (and that if after checking your cheeks if blood dey comot). You go come humbly tell am say no bi you eat, say na the one she eat for morning..but anyways, you forgot to wash it.

Another matter don dey brew.

She will now come to the parlour and sit, ask you for the remote and change the football to Telemundo and mutter these words you'll never hear: “work e won't work, such a failure. It's only remote e can pass.”

You will try to look at her with your side eyes but meet her full eyes staring at you in disgust. Mumu you go come smile enter bedroom.

As you are walking into the bedroom, the volume of the muttering is increasing but it's still inaudible.

In the oza room, just respect yourself. Don't even dare..unless you want the whole world to know how you will be idle and want to kill sb’s daughter after working all day!

“oh, it's your plan, Richie, baa? To kill me so that you can now go and meet Ishilove, baa?”


Only you go dey like Stone Cold Steve Austin sleep.


It will be normal...the “honey, darling etc.” is going to die. You will be called your name...two seconds, she will stop calling your name and just be giving out orders.

Abeg, don't even remind her you are the husband. You will get the insult of your life. She will say “no, say it loud na, let mama Chisom hear you. How many husbands stays at home watching football and their wives are left to do all the work!”


But na you still dey pay rent, buy foodstuff, and children fees.

Baba, kuku collect that responsiblity back. I hate to talk much. No dare shift any of your responsibility to woman...even if she persist to want to help. E kuku better she dey do am willingly than you register her name on it.

Only women, babies, and pets are loved. Men, are respected when they man up. Na the respect we dey translate to love.

Romanoff:


What is wrong with the arrangement?

Isn't that balanced enough?

Or the man should cross his leg and wait for the person that worked from morning to night to come and cook?

They've been married for 5 years now.

AmazonTopaz:


Every human being has ego including women it isn't good for any one to have an overbloated ego.When times are hard you do what you gotta do someone who is in need of an helper doesn't act pompous or proud one needs to apply humility in all things.
So any man with an overbloated ego should work on it it isn't healthy at all the situation is only temporary and no condition lasts forever.

reel14:
Hello Nairalanders. I got married late last year.
Even though I got married late, I.made sure I was gainfully employed before taking the giant stride
I love my wife and she loves me too. I carry 98 % of the home responsibility, recently, because things are on the high side and my wife is working as well, I told her to be taking care of filling the gas while I handle other bills.
I have observed that anytime I go near the gas maybe to make food or boil water, she will remind how expensive gas is right now, after all, if it finishes, I won't give money to fill. These words hurt me alot as this is the only thing you do for us in this house. I know how much I pay for rent, DSTV etc with other utility bills.
My thoughts now are;
How do men which their wives are feeding them cope with insults and embarrassments that come will every meal?
How do unemployed/ underemployed men cope?
What if anything happens with my job, will I be able to stay in a verbal abusive home?

MufasaLion:


Lol

Maria, what is it?

MufasaLion:


Amazon, you're right. Ego mixed with laziness is a problem too.

NwaAmaikpe:

You'd lose all your dominance, influence, and respect and ball. It won't be long before she starts sending you on errands to buy condoms for her to take to work.

mariahAngel:


The scepticism in that your comment is quite amusing.

I smell fear all over it.

Ishilove:

You married?

AmazonTopaz:


I don't know where I heard this slang from "how can you be broke and proud" I think it is from a song or something that is what I see here when it comes to some men in this situation.

chatinent:


Lol.

NwaAmaikpe:




I may be wrong but I personally believe that the easiest and most therapeutic way to cope as a man if your wife is the breadwinner of the home is by making "Cuckold" your favourite porn genre.

You'd then realize that so many men go through worse and they've channeled the negativity to a great source of personal pleasure.

If you can't stand it, become better.
Except you are terminally ill or medically incapacitated, allowing you wife become breadwinner is worse than Esau gifting his birthright to Jacob.

You'd lose all your dominance, influence, and respect and ball. It won't be long before she starts sending you on errands to buy condoms for her to take to work.

Over to Lalasticlala and the other elders.

MufasaLion:




But it's better to be financially stable as a man irrespective of the financial status of the woman.

AmazonTopaz:


It is better for every adult to be financially stable but then the economy is something else it is good for women to be financially stable too so as to avoid future insults and abuse from men there is this joy everyone feels when they can be financially responsible for themselves and pay bills but then again the economy doesn't make our ideals always come true so if married couples should try to pull resources together and be interdependent on one another so as for one spouse of things are not going according to plan can fall on the other spouse for backup there should be financial transparency that is why I have problem with some men who don't like taking their wives along in decision making and financial matters if anything happens tomorrow where will he fall back on.

baralatie:
Husband and wife communication diapram

Sender ___ channel of communication_____ receiver

Sender(deficient or effecient)_____channel of communication (analog, monologue,dialogue)____receiver

Ishilove:

E reach as you analyse am like sey you get practical experience

reel14:
Hello Nairalanders. I got married late last year.
Even though I got married late, I.made sure I was gainfully employed before taking the giant stride
I love my wife and she loves me too. I carry 98 % of the home responsibility, recently, because things are on the high side and my wife is working as well, I told her to be taking care of filling the gas while I handle other bills.
I have observed that anytime I go near the gas maybe to make food or boil water, she will remind how expensive gas is right now, after all, if it finishes, I won't give money to fill. These words hurt me alot as this is the only thing you do for us in this house. I know how much I pay for rent, DSTV etc with other utility bills.
My thoughts now are;
How do men which their wives are feeding them cope with insults and embarrassments that come will every meal?
How do unemployed/ underemployed men cope?
What if anything happens with my job, will I be able to stay in a verbal abusive home?

Romanoff:
Me I don't see any problem in this o.

Na only one bill she dey pay, yet she wan turn terrorists for your head. You sef, always remind her how expensive DSTV and foodstuff costs as often as you can.

You can add the rising cost of rent too.

Treat people how they treat you and watch them adjust.

Just cause your own wife is like that doesn't mean all women are that way.

I know women who are bread winners and you'd never know, even n their house.

One just bought car and house that her family just moved into. Na her husband dey drive the car.

So don't conclude all women who are bread winners are like that.

AgentGoat:



How person wan take know the one that will not be like that?

AmazonTopaz:


I don't know how some people reason how can men be broke and proud

The arrangement of this family is a healthy one and the man is truly responsible if na some men bad friends would start feeding him with insecurities

Romanoff:


You are right sha. The woman I sited above who just bought a house and car, her hubby takes care of the kids and runs the home while she's at work. She doesn't come back from work to start rushing to the kitchen to cook.

Hubby would have done that.

Weekends, she cooks soups, hubby does laundry.

DontBullshitMe:

CITED!

spice123:

My brother, I was out of job for like 6 months and wife took care of all the bills excluding rent and school fees and nobody noticed or knew I was out of job. No negative attitude showed up and I will tell you why. A close friend gave me this advice and I will share same with you. When you get your salary or business profit, remove your t-fare/car fuel and give the rest to your wife to manage the home. I was very hard for me to do but t I summoned courage and since 3+ years I started it, I have complete peace. Infact, my wife was praising me on how I was able to pay all bills and manage funds. By the time your wife will mismange the home funds (feeding, rent, kids sch fees e.t.c) she will wake up and realize that paying for gas in the home is the least issue. You will have utmost respect bro. I have been married for 7 years now.

socialmediaman:
OP @reel14 you need to apply some wisdom here. Communication is also very important.

Instead of asking her to take full ownership of paying the gas bills, ask her to contribute to the overall expenses of the home. If you don't already have a joint account with her, open one and let everyone contribute to that account. Home expenses are then made from that account. Contribute on a ratio, like 80% 20% of the goal, depending on how it adds up for you both. When you contribute like 500K and she contributes like 100 or 200K, she won't see herself as paying the gas bills anymore. In fact don't do the bills yourself, include her in the bills payment so she can appreciate the complete financial picture

Not insinuating this as your case, but some people in Nigeria, especially ladies, never fully appreciate financial responsibility because they move from parents' home to husband's home, so once you ask them to start paying bills, another side of them (the manager side) comes out and sometimes it's not pretty.

Finally, communicate with her regularly about respect and the responsibilities of the marriage institution you both entered into. She must be committed to its requirements for it to work