LaSenior:
Sometimes things we ignore in courtship tend to Hunt us when married , same thing

Things like what?

How person wan cope now if we marry women wahala too much aje ...

Sterope:
He is useless because he takes care of his family?

You are a lady & won't understand!
Take that post to your brothers or dad!
No man will ever wish for such, that is not how a man is expected to care of his family! Any man in such condition is just helpless!

Romanoff:
Me I don't see any problem in this o.

Na only one bill she dey pay, yet she wan turn terrorists for your head. You sef, always remind her how expensive DSTV and foodstuff costs as often as you can.

You can add the rising cost of rent too.

Treat people how they treat you and watch them adjust.

Just cause your own wife is like that doesn't mean all women are that way.

I know women who are bread winners and you'd never know, even n their house.

One just bought car and house that her family just moved into. Na her husband dey drive the car.

So don't conclude all women who are bread winners are like that.

I really like this

Differentiate:
How person wan cope now if we marry women wahala too much aje ...

So as a single person, no be you dey take care of your own house chores?

Their is one Yoruba adage that says eni to ba no oju loju un ti, me I no get shame at all if he talk nonsense about the gas I get my own mouth to talk too, I don't even mind to loud the matter seff,you are a man na you see something wey you no like in your house and you no fit talk,it is well sir just be a man and control the matter like a man.

Gireiboy:

Damn! bro! you are a genius, you are going to be a good producer and director in you eventually venture into the film industry

Link me up. Let's grow together.

Thank you!

Only issue here is, a woman needs to know you can stand your ground or walk away. Anything other than that will bring disrespect even if you are shouldering 100% of the responsibilities.

chatinent:


This scenario reminds me of Jude and Eniola Badmus that was always cartoonized on The Sun Newspaper.

That means if she were the one providing the meals, ọ ga -esiri gị ike ga ahu banana nke a rapuru fo.

Mehn..

Nothing dey vex me pass references to every little efforts you make forgetting my daily stabs to make you happy.

Most women cannot be men even for a day.

Only one evening my cousin sister took me out, I never even remove my shoe naim I read her status: “I like the woman I am becoming. Always learn to man your womanhood.”

The only thing most women tend to appreciate is credit alerts..or send your account number. They will become so emotional..they can even cry.

Let the case be the reverse.

Make she just take care of you for two days.

You go hear weeen. She go even remind you how she carry you for stomach for nine months.

“Richie, what is this na, can't I have peace after coming back from work again? How can you eat and cannot wash your plates again! What's this na!”

“Baby, why are you shouting? The neighbours are at...”

“Don't baby me. What have I not done to make you happy? Will I kill myself? Am I the only married woman in the world..what is this na.”

(You try to hold her hands to calm her down...she slaps you damn hard).

“(She is crying now..tears flowly freely). Just see what you made me do. Just see it. Everything is just wrong with this world.”

You mah wey dem slap go still go meet am for parlour where she dey cry dey pet am (and that is after checking your cheeks if blood dey comot). You go come humbly tell am say no bi you eat, say na the one she eat for morning..but anyways, you forgot to wash it.

Another matter don dey brew.

She will now come to the parlour and sit, ask you for the remote and change the football to Telemundo and mutter these words you'll never hear: “work e won't work, such a failure. It's only remote e can pass.”

You will try to look at her with your side eyes but meet her full eyes staring at you in disgust. Mumu you go come smile enter bedroom.

As you are walking into the bedroom, the volume of the muttering is increasing but it's still inaudible.

In the oza room, just respect yourself. Don't even dare..unless you want the whole world to know how you will be idle and want to kill sb’s daughter after working all day!

“oh, it's your plan, Richie, baa? To kill me so that you can now go and meet Ishilove, baa?”


Only you go dey like Stone Cold Steve Austin sleep.


It will be normal...the “honey, darling etc.” is going to die. You will be called your name...two seconds, she will stop calling your name and just be giving out orders.

Abeg, don't even remind her you are the husband. You will get the insult of your life. She will say “no, say it loud na, let mama Chisom hear you. How many husbands stay at home watching football and their wives are left to do all the work!”


But na you still dey pay rent, buy foodstuff, and children fees.

Baba, kuku collect that responsiblity back. I hate to talk much. No dare shift any of your responsibility to woman...even if she persists to want to help. E kuku better she dey do am willingly than you register her name on it.

Only women, babies, and pets are loved. Men are respected when they man up. Na the respect we dey translate to love.

JovialJune:



You see, this is how a balanced healthy family life should be, where both couples join heads to make it work no matter the setback any is facing at a period of time, I tell people that the marriage problem and high rate of divorce we see today is cos one is lording himself/herself over the other, when couples see each other as equal partners, everything will fall in place, even the bible says "two become one" as in same in body and everything.

Madam, as the two of you have said "balanced family"
But what will be your take/advise if your brother complained to you that his wife doesn't want to "fully support" what he is doing (like in my signature below) but wants him to fully support her own hustle

reel14:
Hello Nairalanders. I got married late last year.
Even though I got married late, I made sure I was gainfully employed before taking the giant stride.

I love my wife and she loves me too. I carry 98 % of the home responsibility, recently, because things are on the high side and my wife is working as well, I told her to be taking care of filling the gas while I handle other bills.
I have observed that anytime I go near the gas maybe to make food or boil water, she will remind how expensive gas is right now, after all, if it finishes, I won't give money to fill. These words hurt me alot as this is the only thing you do for us in this house. I know how much I pay for rent, DSTV etc with other utility bills.

My thoughts now are;
How do men which their wives are feeding them cope with insults and embarrassments that come with every meal?

How do unemployed/underemployed men cope?

What if anything happens with my job, will I be able to stay in a verbal abusive home?

Just close your eyes to what she earns.

Thats the best way to avoid all those unintentional side remarks from a woman. You know you can add the gas but women don't understand.

You shared shared responsibility already, so it would be hard to back track. I would have suggested you place her on a monthly stipend as your part that will be agreed from day 1. You give her that one and never have to get any side remarks if she fails to do anyone. Thats what I do. In my case, before the month ends she collects even up to the monthly stipend in addition but she can't blame me if i refuse.

Women want to be managers of the home, calculate every thing and give her, that way she knows you actually gave her money but paying the money yourself, they never take into account what you have spent.

I have same issue with my mum. It is the total amount you give a woman at month end that she appreciates.

Let me tell you how women calculate their husbands salary, it is simply your gross salary - what you gave her = Balance which should stay as fixed amount in your account.

If your salarybis 100k and you give your wife 70k, she knows better not to return. But if you give her 20k, trust me thats what she sees so she continues to believe you have 80k in your account. Transfer even the utility bills to her and pay her lump sum.

Immediately I bounced back to my finance, I only take care of myself and the children, I even cook for myself. The mentality wey nigeria women carry no be here, the lord will deliver them

My dad? No

My brothers? 100% yes. You think everyone's masculinity is as fragile as yours. . They are every Alpha male as well of that is what you are looking for.

Rubbiish:

You are a lady & won't understand!
Take that post to your brothers or dad!
No man will ever wish for such, that is not how a man is expected to care of his family! Any man in such condition is just helpless!

reel14:
Hello Nairalanders. I got married late last year.
Even though I got married late, I made sure I was gainfully employed before taking the giant stride.

I love my wife and she loves me too. I carry 98 % of the home responsibility, recently, because things are on the high side and my wife is working as well, I told her to be taking care of filling the gas while I handle other bills.
I have observed that anytime I go near the gas maybe to make food or boil water, she will remind how expensive gas is right now, after all, if it finishes, I won't give money to fill. These words hurt me alot as this is the only thing you do for us in this house. I know how much I pay for rent, DSTV etc with other utility bills.

My thoughts now are;
How do men which their wives are feeding them cope with insults and embarrassments that come with every meal?

How do unemployed/underemployed men cope?

What if anything happens with my job, will I be able to stay in a verbal abusive home?

Emm. Since DSTV is pay as you go, why not add it to the bill she is catering for?

You need to set your mindset to accommodate some things when you want some dramatic ladies to foot some bills.

JovialJune:
Lol, jobless married men should be useful in the house by doing the chores, cooking, and taking care of the kids, believe me, no woman will insult or demean a man like that, instead, she will make it her life's goal to get him back on his feet again. A man cannot be useless at home and useless in providing leaving everything for the breadwinner to do, then expect respect and cuddling, mbanu, it doesnt work like that, you guys should stop the whining, make yourself useful at home.

As for what your wife did abi is doing, carry your cross like that, rebuke her, or ignore her, you knew who she was before you married her.

If the table is turned and I as a man provided everything, you will say you are not a slave. Rubbish.

I still won't support it.

Kobojunkie:
It wouldn't work in every marriage ofcourse.

reel14:
Hello Nairalanders. I got married late last year.
Even though I got married late, I made sure I was gainfully employed before taking the giant stride.

I love my wife and she loves me too. I carry 98 % of the home responsibility, recently, because things are on the high side and my wife is working as well, I told her to be taking care of filling the gas while I handle other bills.
I have observed that anytime I go near the gas maybe to make food or boil water, she will remind how expensive gas is right now, after all, if it finishes, I won't give money to fill. These words hurt me alot as this is the only thing you do for us in this house. I know how much I pay for rent, DSTV etc with other utility bills.

My thoughts now are;
How do men which their wives are feeding them cope with insults and embarrassments that come with every meal?

How do unemployed/underemployed men cope?

What if anything happens with my job, will I be able to stay in a verbal abusive home?

please, make adjustment to the bolded part

Sterope:
My dad? No

My brothers? 100% yes. You think everyone's masculinity is as fragile as yours. . They are every Alpha male as well of that is what you are looking for.

Lol u can't speak for your brothers
It has nothing to do with masculinity!
Just like a man wearing a G-string even the most civilized will frown at it! The scenario that poster narrated is not what any man would wish for.

Sterope:
My dad? No

My brothers? 100% yes. You think everyone's masculinity is as fragile as yours. . They are every Alpha male as well of that is what you are looking for.

Shaming men as usual, nothing unexpected from a feminist, a man that can't provide and assert dominance is highly unattractive, period, women are evolutionary hardwired to seek better, wiser, taller, stronger,richer, than them, that's the only way they can be in their feminine and deffer to his authority for the relationship to be successful,

reel14:
Hello Nairalanders. I got married late last year.
Even though I got married late, I made sure I was gainfully employed before taking the giant stride.

I love my wife and she loves me too. I carry 98 % of the home responsibility, recently, because things are on the high side and my wife is working as well, I told her to be taking care of filling the gas while I handle other bills.
I have observed that anytime I go near the gas maybe to make food or boil water, she will remind how expensive gas is right now, after all, if it finishes, I won't give money to fill. These words hurt me alot as this is the only thing you do for us in this house. I know how much I pay for rent, DSTV etc with other utility bills.

My thoughts now are;
How do men which their wives are feeding them cope with insults and embarrassments that come with every meal?

How do unemployed/underemployed men cope?

What if anything happens with my job, will I be able to stay in a verbal abusive home?

If my wife dare talks to me like that I will divorce her really quick well unless she comes back to her senses and tenders an appropriate apology bt in the 1st place I can’t marry a person who’s not selfless. I hate selfish people with great passion.

Hmm, God have mercy and help me through it, since I haven't made this bold decision yet because all these comments I have been reading here shows it takes the grace of God and mutual understanding (if there's any chance for it) to get this thing called “marriage” right.


Oghene I dey your hand o

Sterope:
I still won't support it.

Because you don't believe you are capable of handling such responsibility in a marriage?

PrimadonnaO:
Not every woman is cantankerous and unreasonable.

These are the things people should look out for during courtship.

How willing is she to spend her own money on things other than her personal needs?

Are there situations where she can sort out certain bills, but she always waits for you to sort them out?

These are some of the attitudes that will tell if she can ever man the home during your temporary downtime...
And her attitude while at it ...
***************************
Problem is people don't date intelligently.

There's an intentionality with which relationships should be journeyed. Look out for signs! Imagine scenarios. Be sure you're compatible.

Sorry to ask, are you a Nigerian woman? Sincerely you must be a very beautiful soul with pleasant personality. I'm very impressed with your submission, very impressed.

reel14:
Hello Nairalanders. I got married late last year.
Even though I got married late, I made sure I was gainfully employed before taking the giant stride.

I love my wife and she loves me too. I carry 98 % of the home responsibility, recently, because things are on the high side and my wife is working as well, I told her to be taking care of filling the gas while I handle other bills.
I have observed that anytime I go near the gas maybe to make food or boil water, she will remind how expensive gas is right now, after all, if it finishes, I won't give money to fill. These words hurt me alot as this is the only thing you do for us in this house. I know how much I pay for rent, DSTV etc with other utility bills.

My thoughts now are;
How do men which their wives are feeding them cope with insults and embarrassments that come with every meal?

How do unemployed/underemployed men cope?

What if anything happens with my job, will I be able to stay in a verbal abusive home?

Typical of Nigerian women, so uncultured with bloated entitlement mentality. White ladies dont reason like that.

They have nothing to contribute than p***y.

reel14:
Hello Nairalanders. I got married late last year.
Even though I got married late, I made sure I was gainfully employed before taking the giant stride.

I love my wife and she loves me too. I carry 98 % of the home responsibility, recently, because things are on the high side and my wife is working as well, I told her to be taking care of filling the gas while I handle other bills.
I have observed that anytime I go near the gas maybe to make food or boil water, she will remind how expensive gas is right now, after all, if it finishes, I won't give money to fill. These words hurt me alot as this is the only thing you do for us in this house. I know how much I pay for rent, DSTV etc with other utility bills.

My thoughts now are;
How do men which their wives are feeding them cope with insults and embarrassments that come with every meal?

How do unemployed/underemployed men cope?

What if anything happens with my job, will I be able to stay in a verbal abusive home?

It’s time to give her the 65%/35% treatment so her complain would be legit and it won’t pain you again when she does

Kobojunkie:
So as a single person, no be you dey take care of your own house chores?

The fear of ending up with a lady like you & some other bitter NL ladies sends some shivers down my spine. Thank God I only see you online & not around.

Skillsnigeria:
Immediately I bounced back to my finance, I only take care of myself and the children, I even cook for myself. The mentality wey nigeria women carry no be here, the lord will deliver them

You might as well say you see divorce - the end of the marriage at that point.

reel14:
Hello Nairalanders. I got married late last year.
Even though I got married late, I made sure I was gainfully employed before taking the giant stride.

I love my wife and she loves me too. I carry 98 % of the home responsibility, recently, because things are on the high side and my wife is working as well, I told her to be taking care of filling the gas while I handle other bills.
I have observed that anytime I go near the gas maybe to make food or boil water, she will remind how expensive gas is right now, after all, if it finishes, I won't give money to fill. These words hurt me alot as this is the only thing you do for us in this house. I know how much I pay for rent, DSTV etc with other utility bills.

My thoughts now are;
How do men which their wives are feeding them cope with insults and embarrassments that come with every meal?

How do unemployed/underemployed men cope?

What if anything happens with my job, will I be able to stay in a verbal abusive home?

Come n dash her blender that will cool the economic heat off her. Blend anything, crush anything!!!!

PrimadonnaO:
Not every woman is cantankerous and unreasonable.

These are the things people should look out for during courtship.

How willing is she to spend her own money on things other than her personal needs?

Are there situations where she can sort out certain bills, but she always waits for you to sort them out?

These are some of the attitudes that will tell if she can ever man the home during your temporary downtime...
And her attitude while at it ...
***************************
Problem is people don't date intelligently.

There's an intentionality with which relationships should be journeyed. Look out for signs! Imagine scenarios. Be sure you're compatible.

You are absolutely right ans sounded so un-Nigerian.

Guys the first place to check for redflag is when they start requesting for transport fare to come and visit

M

Who told you they are not assertive . Speak for yourself mister .

They are assertive and very shameless. You will call them sir where they stand. Beta male

Dapcity007:


Shaming men as usual, nothing unexpected from a feminist, a man that can't provide and assert dominance is highly unattractive, period, women are evolutionary hardwired to seek better, wiser, taller, stronger,richer, than them, that's the only way they can be in their feminine and deffer to his authority for the relationship to be successful,

I use to buy Butter instead of Bread every night.

reel14:
Hello Nairalanders. I got married late last year.
Even though I got married late, I made sure I was gainfully employed before taking the giant stride.

I love my wife and she loves me too. I carry 98 % of the home responsibility, recently, because things are on the high side and my wife is working as well, I told her to be taking care of filling the gas while I handle other bills.
I have observed that anytime I go near the gas maybe to make food or boil water, she will remind how expensive gas is right now, after all, if it finishes, I won't give money to fill. These words hurt me alot as this is the only thing you do for us in this house. I know how much I pay for rent, DSTV etc with other utility bills.

My thoughts now are;
How do men which their wives are feeding them cope with insults and embarrassments that come with every meal?

How do unemployed/underemployed men cope?

What if anything happens with my job, will I be able to stay in a verbal abusive home?

Whatever rocks your boat moonpie

Rubbiish:

Lol u can't speak for your brothers
It has nothing to do with masculinity!
Just like a man wearing a G-string even the most civilized will frown at it! The scenario that poster narrated is not what any man would wish for.