Romanoff:


You are right sha. The woman I cited above who just bought a house and car, her hubby takes care of the kids and runs the home while she's at work. She doesn't come back from work to start rushing to the kitchen to cook.

Hubby would have done that.

Weekends, she cooks soups, hubby does laundry.

Oooooh. Look deep down and see why there seems to be peace in s home run by a woman. Someone must be eating a packful of shits in quietude.

Lol.... You people just spew unfounded thrash here everyday due to your innate misorgyny.

It is on record everywhere that women are better money managers than men. How many female celebrities have ever gone bankrupt ? Very very minimal compared to theirale counterpart.

Women do not have side dudes whose lives they're financing unlike many men do.

I'll just stop here.

spice123:

Do you know the implication of what you highlighted? [b] Most women do not know how to manage money. [/b]From what the op said, it simply meant that his wife
1. Is not the giving type.
2. Does not know how to manage money.
3. Does not appreciate a man's effort.
I wouldn't take offense on what you typed because you're beneath me interlectually and maritally.

Hehhh, how will it be when kids start arriving.You should both discuss it o.

DontBullshitMe:

Sorry to type this. But your friend is not a very bright person and I will assume you belong to that categorization for following that stupid advice.

Once again. Sorry to type.

Do you believe any man can do that? He was lying to get cheap likes from mostly ladies on this forum

DontBullshitMe:

Another impractical advice.

So someone who finds it hard to contribute for the seldom refill of cooking gas and is always quick at referencing her contribution when any issue related to it comes up should be further persuaded into making more notable financial contributtion to the running of the home? Huh?

It is at this point that the OP will experience hell. Any point of disagreement will be met with the constant reminder that he isn't the sole provider for the home and that she (the wife) has been contributing even far more than he has when in reality that is not the case.

Women are just not meant to be providers. QED.

Women are not meant to be providers, that is why I know a number of them who have built 2 houses but their husbands do not have a plot of land.

Romanoff:


Just leave them.

I've heard many men tell me this their model and it works for them.

They will just talk down on ideas they believe is stupid even though it works for some people.

My husband suggested it to me one time sef, na me no gree, cause his mind will still be policing the money so make everybody hold him money o.

Yes ooo, everybody should hold their money

Baby you smart....

AmazonTopaz:


This doesn't translate to current realities,be jobless and carry headship for head.

Some of you men see marriage as a power tussle the lady rightly laid out a marriage plan that happens in today's world but you want to tell us what we already know,every marriage is different for some marriages that are not Christian based the husband and wife work as a team and there is equality in such marriage just because you are not familiar with that reality doesn't mean it doesn't work for others and happens in such marriages.

Christ being the head of the church loved the church and died for it how many men of today can do that,Christ also washed the feet of his disciples I can liken this to husbands doing chores in the homes and treating their wives as the queens that they are,you are so quick to remember headship but slow to remember the responsibilities it carries.

reel14:
Hello Nairalanders. I got married late last year.
Even though I got married late, I made sure I was gainfully employed before taking the giant stride.

I love my wife and she loves me too. I carry 98 % of the home responsibility, recently, because things are on the high side and my wife is working as well, I told her to be taking care of filling the gas while I handle other bills.
I have observed that anytime I go near the gas maybe to make food or boil water, she will remind how expensive gas is right now, after all, if it finishes, I won't give money to fill. These words hurt me alot as this is the only thing you do for us in this house. I know how much I pay for rent, DSTV etc with other utility bills.

My thoughts now are;
How do men which their wives are feeding them cope with insults and embarrassments that come with every meal?

How do unemployed/underemployed men cope?

What if anything happens with my job, will I be able to stay in a verbal abusive home?

. To survive as a man whose wife is the breadwinner, you have to be as indifferent and irresponsible as a broke man doubly engaged in polygamy. Proud, insulated and thoroughly lacking commitment.

To tell you the truth, a man lacking the capacity to provide for his family, while being healthy, would be rubbished by even the best behaved of women.

Problem is, women tend to be think they're more ambitious and would see any funds deployed to rescuing an incapacitated husband (especially when they figure he won't get back to winning ways soon enough) as a waste. On the flip side, they start thinking of all the things their money would have done if the hubby was solely responsible for picking the bills.

Gradually, they graduate from asking you to help, to ordering you to run errands, to taunting you and eventually dumping you "if symptoms persists after an extended period".

May life never give us the shorter end of the stick. All we need to meet our needs and keep our sanity, May God supply!

It's not beans being the man!

Women are even better money managers and even CBN has aknowledged this fact that's why they have been encouraging women to borrow more as women will definitely repay those loans unlike men that will most likely use that money to impress people.

Kobojunkie:
Are you serious with the statement in bold?
Financial management skills now tied to gender?

sylve11:



What about if she's the type that doesn't listen?

There are people like that.

I know but she's your wife.theres a way you talk to her that her ears will open even if her ears are made of cement

JESHAL:



A woman can't love you except she respect you and see you as a superior, women are not idealistic lovers like men, infact since men Chase them they pick the best mate based on what value he provides not because of his personality

I have clicked like for your post but a little edition should be made like this...
A woman can't submit (Sexually) to you except she respects you and sees you as a superior.
Women are very conscious of their ego... that's why you rarely see a younger guy banging a lady of higher age grade. For example it's rare for you to see a 31 year old lady happily dating a 25 years old guy. Women love thier superior and that's why guys lie alot to give them a sense of superiority and get them to bed and it's working like that. Anything less is being unrealistic. the truth!

reel14:
Hello Nairalanders. I got married late last year.
Even though I got married late, I made sure I was gainfully employed before taking the giant stride.

I love my wife and she loves me too. I carry 98 % of the home responsibility, recently, because things are on the high side and my wife is working as well, I told her to be taking care of filling the gas while I handle other bills.
I have observed that anytime I go near the gas maybe to make food or boil water, she will remind how expensive gas is right now, after all, if it finishes, I won't give money to fill. These words hurt me alot as this is the only thing you do for us in this house. I know how much I pay for rent, DSTV etc with other utility bills.

My thoughts now are;
How do men which their wives are feeding them cope with insults and embarrassments that come with every meal?

How do unemployed/underemployed men cope?

What if anything happens with my job, will I be able to stay in a verbal abusive home?

In my own opinion you should have told your wife off right after she said that rather than keeping silent.

Of course I am speaking with benefit of hindsight but don't let I slide again if it happens.

Your wife was shit testing you and you allowed it.

I don't understand why men think it's okay to carry 100 percent responsibilities so they can form boss.

I understand 70/30, 80/20, 90/10 but don't ever carry 100 percent. Why would you even want to do that? To show you are the man?

Then what is your wife investing into the relationship? Nothing. Only for her to gain and you to lose.

Next time...if your wife make a big g fuss about the part she is contributing....sit her down right away and school her on how you carry a greater part without complain.

Stop giving excuses and letting women get away with contributint little tonothing in marriage.

princewarri1985:
Bro you are fvcked! Bro you are in soup trust me i know what am saying, there is absolutely no way your wife is going to respect you if she is the one feeding you, she go even dey go outside dey go Bleep too that one na if he never already start to dey Bleep for outside now self, this is the reason why i always tell men not to be pressured in to marriage, marry only when you are financially ready and capable to shoulder a family responsibility, am now 41 and there is absolutely no way anybody is going to pressure me in to marriage, i will marry only when am financially ready, am still enjoying my bachelorhood, and i dont joke with my sanity and peace of mind, this night na better pounded yam and egusi soup with better goat meat i prepared myself and ate for dinner about 3 hours, no woman no problem, because i non want any woman to come dey worry my life and send me to an early grave, LET ME REPHRASE AGAIN BRO YOU ARE FVCKED AND YOU DON ENTER SOUP

Getting married is really going to be difficult for u o. U are already used to the single life. How do u deal with pressure from family & friends?

Romanoff:


These ramblings mean nothing to me.

I don't even understand it.

The concept of marrying the friend means marrying someone who will love, respect and treat you the same way they will want to be treated.

All you put out there is nasty and doesn't even relate to marriage.

Anyone who marries with what you put up there is on their own.

Listen to JESHAL. He is realistic and intelligent.

colestephan86:

My dear
Any man that leave his responsibility of taking care of his house to his wife , has no say period.
If you are the one taking care of all bills in your house and your wife pays only for gas, well if that's ok by you go on
But if you are staying in a rented apartment, and you want to grow faster, share shed some responsibilities and let your wife handle them
In my case I let her pay for the govt, groceries and toiletries. While car ,gen NEPA, house hold maintanace and repairs are done by me
We share the house rent too but I take the lion share , so I can focus on our own site. And it's works well for me.

Honestly u have a good wife!
See how her support is making u to focus on your site. Imagine she keeping all her money to herself, how will grow?

nick50:
He who pays the piper dictates d tune!!!..one thing I noticed about women is thier hatred towards men..I can bet u that 98% of d so called love stories, relationships and marriages that are strong and intact is because the man provides virtually everything most especially finance..its very easy to detect a family that is financially dependent on a woman however ur prayer should be ...'dear Lord please don't let my pocket run dry, secure my job please and never allow me to be in a situation where I have to be dependent on anybody especially my wife/gf..amen'

U are absolutely right at the bolded words!

alexola20:
[/b]

This reminds me of my present predicament.

I swear,never be too kind to any woman,even if she is your mother.
The only female a man should do everything to love amd to protect is your daughter(ti ko ba ti ja ifun iya e je).
I really doubt if I can ever love a woman again.
My life and heart are shattered for my kindness and being too good to women i.e. mother,wife,sis and MIL.

Mother sits on the house in 9ja.
Wife sits on the one in Europe.

I am myself homeless,living with 7 very dirty guys around while I have my houses completely paid for by myself with no single help from anyone.

Be careful what you do with any woman including your own mother.

They are mostly evil.

I don't fear women,I dread them.

This is serious!
What could have possibly gone wrong for your mom to go against u?

PearlFid:
lol, I can't help but laugh out loud. Lord help me to be a better help mate to my husband.. My gender sha

Thanks Ms.

EJEHSON:
Oboy this your analysis carry weight, perfectly scripted, you too much.

Na so boss.

ETIIKO:

You said it all, you know!

Thanks.

Newton2024:
Thank you for this wonderful right up. You are great.

Thanks boss.

Romanoff:


Like I said, they are my friends. Very decent Christian family with lovely, and well brought up kids.

One of the families I admire when it comes to Christian values and child upbringing.

@bold:

What do you except?

Jesus Christ that temporarily sacrificed his glory and used his life as bride price still washed the feet of his disciples & cooked for them.

A man that paid N20 as bride price and cannot save a fly will carry hand with 1,000 shoulderpads and cross his legs.

When they say don't be unequally yoked with unbelievers (including church goers), e get why.

Both parties will place their egos and cultural beliefs under the commandments of Christ.

alexola20:
[/b]

This reminds me of my present predicament.

I swear,never be too kind to any woman,even if she is your mother.
The only female a man should do everything to love amd to protect is your daughter(ti ko ba ti ja ifun iya e je).
I really doubt if I can ever love a woman again.
My life and heart are shattered for my kindness and being too good to women i.e. mother,wife,sis and MIL.

Mother sits on the house in 9ja.
Wife sits on the one in Europe.

I am myself homeless,living with 7 very dirty guys around while I have my houses completely paid for by myself with no single help from anyone.

Be careful what you do with any woman including your own mother.

They are mostly evil.

I don't fear women,I dread them.

It's circumstances,bro.

Can we balance the view?

How about we count the positive things about them first before the painful things?

Can we talk about it?

PrimadonnaO:
Not every woman is cantankerous and unreasonable.

These are the things people should look out for during courtship.

How willing is she to spend her own money on things other than her personal needs?

Are there situations where she can sort out certain bills, but she always waits for you to sort them out?

These are some of the attitudes that will tell if she can ever man the home during your temporary downtime...
And her attitude while at it ...
***************************
Problem is people don't date intelligently.

There's an intentionality with which relationships should be journeyed. Look out for signs! Imagine scenarios. Be sure you're compatible.

Most Nigerian women 99.9% of them are just like that . Very selfish and insensitive . They think all they have to offer a man is sex .And as at that ,they consider it a favour .Most of the analysis some people have been doing here doesn't relate to Nigerian women .And it is because some of them are having money to maintain the home .If they should experience any downturn ,it is then they will know the meaning of a woman in Nigerian context .

smasher1:


7k gas should last more than a month. I'm begging him to handle that expense and reduce other expenses before things get worse.

Exactly bro.

Kobojunkie:
Are you serious with the statement in bold?
Financial management skills now tied to gender?

Follow the convo to understand the context of his statement.

He said a lot of women move from their parents' home to their martial home hence they have never been in charge of bills or financial management.

Hence the statement you highlighted.

In that context, it makes sense that most women with that experience need a while to learn how to manage money.

Romanoff:


That's why a lot have their manhood tied to their pockets. The moment they don't have money, small talk wey their wife go talk, they will conclude it's because they are broke.

If your wife only submits to you cause you're older than her or cause you're the bread winner, that is not a marriage but a master and slave relationship.

When the tide turns, that woman will treat you the exact way you treated her.

Frame worthy post.

Albertone:


Efe and Jude.

For this bravery, I owe you a bottle of my friend udeme.

SimplyFacts:


The fear of ending up with a lady like you & some other bitter NL ladies sends some shivers down my spine. Thank God I only see you online & not around.

Is this handle a female? Thought it was a guy all along. Was wondering why a man would be simping like his life depended on it. Apparently she is a frustrated feminist. No wonder.

JESHAL:



She must still maintain her traditional responsibilities of taking care of the home and nurturing children, the man must immediately go and look for work opportunities, he must not sit jobless and expect his wife to respect him and fulfil her wifely duties

Hahahahahaha!

When someone marries a church goer in the name of 'I married a Christian'

Please read 1 cor 13 v 1 - 8 and tell us if it aligns with your thought process above.

I am assuming you go to church because you are attempting to explain what headship means in the Bible.

While you are reading that passage, please point out the Bible passage that says a husband should not do chores at home (forget his financial status now).

Albertone:


Efe and Jude.

Lol. I prefer to call Efe Eniola Badmus.