Christie06:


Those words are too harsh on someone you claim to love.. Couples can live in peace irrespective of who the breadwinner is.

Yeah..

spice123:

I am into IT and I have a side hustle. You think I'm dumb right? Lolssss

All that are active income, do you have an emergency reserve that can take care of the family expenses for a minimum of 3 months? If government should declare another lockdown in the country, how long can your reserve take care of you and the family?

What are your plans for passive income?

IamDavid:

This is not the way God planned it. Anyways it could happen but, young men, avoid it. 2x richer than your girl is the minimum.

She is just cooking up stories to drive home a point.

Hm

drnoel:


Lol, it's good she is doing even that. Give her more responsibilitie to take care of and you will see her biting U on every issue. Then U remind her that you have been doing it before now without complaints

Unfortunately some of them know how to forget easily when things change

You are talking about yourself,right?

Anyway let me let the sleeping dog lie.

Zaijian!

elonmuskbaby:
the way and manner you communicate to her matters.when it's not done in a commanding or condescending time then it will have effects but when you dey form commando,that's when she won't care to listen

What positive things can one talk about the person that doesn’t want one to live ?


May you never encounter such life agonies.

L

chatinent:


It's circumstances,bro.

Can we balance the view?

How about we count the positive things about them first before the painful things?

Can we talk about it?

Witchcraft.

Sometimes dem don enter am finish before dem open eye.

But some of them can be so selfish.They crave for evil,wicked and controlling power than the well being of their wards.
Some people may never understand because it never happens to them.
But this sh*t is real.

Rubbiish:

This is serious!
What could have possibly gone wrong for your mom to go against u?

Romanoff:


While he looks for the job and the woman still works, how will she able to maintain her traditional role? And what will the man be doing pending when he gets the job?

The same woman who wakes up to go to work, comes back in the evening and is expected to cook and help the kids with assignment when her partner was home and had time to do it?

If a man has any love for his wife, he will not sit around all day applying for jobs online and leaving the chores for her to come back and do just cause it's "her Traditional role".

A family where both the man and woman are working has already broken the traditional rule of the woman sitting at home taking care of the family while the man works. They should redefine the rules to suit them from day one even when there is no problem. Doing things together and for each other is actually fun, not only when difficult situations force us into it and then it becomes difficult. My 1 cent

Romanoff:


You are right sha. The woman I cited above who just bought a house and car, her hubby takes care of the kids and runs the home while she's at work. She doesn't come back from work to start rushing to the kitchen to cook.

Hubby would have done that.

Weekends, she cooks soups, hubby does laundry.

olohun ma ba ayo mije

Put all family funds togeda and draw up a budget
Why did u allocate only filling of gass to her?
U wan show say u get muscle abi

emmanuelewumi:


One can't rely on the pension scheme, it is better to have a personal pension plan whose value will be up to 200% of the fund in your Retirement Savings Account

Part of my pension helped renew my rent when I lost my job during the pandemic. 25% of my total pension was handed to me. I use IBTC pension fund. You can make your research.

vickydevoka:

Women's character changes aunty.

They way my GF is doing now, she can't do half wen she's married. Me i don't have a problem bcuz i do all de house chores n i cook. Buh de question is women are usually wicked n inconsiderate to dere husband n he goes down ( not all o. Buh most).

N wen a lady does good thing for u n u crack her heart she will tell de world what she did for u. Buh in the man's case, most will keep quite ( some will speak up

@bold what is your girlfriend doing now?
Don't u think it is best to address it now before marriage? Do not wait till marriage.

NwaAmaikpe:




I may be wrong but I personally believe that the easiest and most therapeutic way to cope as a man if your wife is the breadwinner of the home is by making "Cuckold" your favourite porn genre.

It makes you realize that so many men go through worse and they were able to transform the negativity into a great source of personal pleasure.
If you can't stand it, then be better.

Except you are terminally ill or medically incapacitated, allowing your wife become the breadwinner is worse than Esau gifting his birthright to Jacob.

You'd lose all your dominance, influence, and respect. It won't be long before she starts sending you on errands to buy condoms for her to take to work.

Over to Lala and the other elders.

@NwaAmaikpe Pls what do you drink so I can send a crate. Man wey sabi.

At Poster, pls use the gas gently o. Gas is now expensive o - na the same expensive that made you give your wife part of your crown.... but your manly ego can open its mouth to tell your wife to be buying gas but it cannot take her telling you not to waste gas.

A little time you will take her father's name as your surname.

Oniranu ara you didnot ask the men who are picking every bill how they make money - na the ones who wives are feeding them you are asking.

The best part is that your wife telling all who care to listen that you are not husband enough - you married late and still you cannot pay bills.

When you were single who was buying gas?
Oni yeye..... you will still buy condom for her to take to work se.

Men who are picking every bill sef are being insulted talk less of the one it is her gas he is eatting.... Kontinu o.

Check my past posts and straighten up.

Rilwayne001:


olohun ma ba ayo mije

radarada ti poju.... you sef shock... atleast you get shame.

Romanoff:
Me I don't see any problem in this o.

Na only one bill she dey pay, yet she wan turn terrorists for your head. You sef, always remind her how expensive DSTV and foodstuff costs as often as you can.

You can add the rising cost of rent too.

Treat people how they treat you and watch them adjust.

Just cause your own wife is like that doesn't mean all women are that way.

I know women who are bread winners and you'd never know, even n their house.

One just bought car and house that her family just moved into. Na her husband dey drive the car.

So don't conclude all women who are bread winners are like that.

Madam I challenge you, you're a big LIAR. I SAY SO

Romanoff:


You are right sha. The woman I cited above who just bought a house and car, her hubby takes care of the kids and runs the home while she's at work. She doesn't come back from work to start rushing to the kitchen to cook.

Hubby would have done that.

Weekends, she cooks soups, hubby does laundry.

What's her name ,let me investigate this story

Romanoff:


You are right sha. The woman I cited above who just bought a house and car, her hubby takes care of the kids and runs the home while she's at work. She doesn't come back from work to start rushing to the kitchen to cook.

Hubby would have done that.

Weekends, she cooks soups, hubby does laundry.

May this never befall my brothers and all the good men of this world.

Ki le leyi bayi

socialmediaman:
OP @reel14 you need to apply some wisdom here. Communication is also very important.

Instead of asking her to take full ownership of paying the gas bills, ask her to contribute to the overall expenses of the home. If you don't already have a joint account with her, open one and let everyone contribute to that account. Home expenses are then made from that account. Contribute on a ratio, like 80% 20% of the goal, depending on how it adds up for you both. When you contribute like 500K and she contributes like 100 or 200K, she won't see herself as paying the gas bills anymore. In fact don't do the bills yourself, include her in the bills payment so she can appreciate the complete financial picture

Not insinuating this as your case, but some people in Nigeria, especially ladies, never fully appreciate financial responsibility because they move from parents' home to husband's home, so once you ask them to start paying bills, another side of them (the manager side) comes out and sometimes it's not pretty.

Finally, communicate with her regularly about respect and the responsibilities of the marriage institution you both entered into. She must be committed to its requirements for it to work

Fair enough

You should take her father's name and hypen it to his surname. They belong to each other afterall

No shame. Yama yama

iamyemiakins:

You don see them finish o.
Kilode!

..... and her former post said no body even knows the wife foots all the bills..... but poster knows, the neighbours know, the church memebers know, both their family members know, her colleagues know, the contractors who built the house know...... YET NOBODY KNOWS.

Foot the total bills gentle men it is easier and less shameful.

spice123:

Part of my pension helped renew my rent when I lost my job during the pandemic. 25% of my total pension was handed to me. I use IBTC pension fund. You can make your research.

Please how does this stanbic pension fund works? How reliable are they? How much do u pay monthly & is there a stipulated amount? Trying to research on it now, but hearing from an experienced mouth won't be a bad idea. Thanks.

Romanoff:


Cause they moved out of where they were staying, a rented apartment.

She told me how the house was bought.

I know the husband doesn't earn much compared to how much she earns, so I know she's the one who bought it.

Or the man won bet9ja, or family inheritance like a friend of mine that blew suddenly

reel14:
Hello Nairalanders. I got married late last year.
Even though I got married late, I made sure I was gainfully employed before taking the giant stride.

I love my wife and she loves me too. I carry 98 % of the home responsibility, recently, because things are on the high side and my wife is working as well, I told her to be taking care of filling the gas while I handle other bills.
I have observed that anytime I go near the gas maybe to make food or boil water, she will remind how expensive gas is right now, after all, if it finishes, I won't give money to fill. These words hurt me alot as this is the only thing you do for us in this house. I know how much I pay for rent, DSTV etc with other utility bills.

My thoughts now are;
How do men which their wives are feeding them cope with insults and embarrassments that come with every meal?

How do unemployed/underemployed men cope?

What if anything happens with my job, will I be able to stay in a verbal abusive home?

You're a semi-literate writer.It should be ' men whose wives are breadwinners'

Rubbiish:

Please how does this stanbic pension fund works? How reliable are they? How much do u pay monthly & is there a stipulated amount? Trying to research on it now, but hearing from an experienced mouth won't be a bad idea. Thanks.

My employer remit my pension to them. Stanbic IBTC is from South Africa and I can say that they are reliable. I have experienced them first hand.

JESHAL:



When he's looking for work, he's always on the move, his heart is not at peace, he must not see his wife burdened and his children suffer,the pressure on the woman from her work mustn't be compared to the pressure he face when searching for new employment, in fact, he must keep himself busy, doing low Valued work till he gets a better alternative, he must not sit idly in the house, and yes he has no business in the kitchen, taking care of the home and nurturing children, he's a man, he's responsibilities are outside

Why are you hiding behind this "traditional role" to avoid responsibility? If the husband and the wife act as a team, life will be better for both of them. But it seems your idea of marriage is a power tussle and that a man's job status defines him.

The Bible likened the love a man should have for his wife with the way Christ loved the church. Do you know what it means to love that way? It is not a conditional love.

Will a man who loves his wife genuinely, sit at home all day and wait for her to come back from work and meet the house upside down, kids in disarray, no food to eat with the excuse that it is her role and not his role. Is it a sin for him to tidy his surroundings. Or doesn't cleanliness lead to godliness? Why do we quote the Bible to benefit our interests?

If we are talking about roles, why should she be the one working and the man is jobless? Is it her role to be the breadwinner? But she doesn't neglect it to sit idle because it is not her "role".

Let's stop using the mindset to imprison ourselves and those around us. Some of you men will enslave your wife because you lack consideration for her that the Bible preaches.

spice123:

Part of my pension helped renew my rent when I lost my job during the pandemic. 25% of my total pension was handed to me. I use IBTC pension fund. You can make your research.

That 25% really helped me in a much needed period. And it was also Stanbic IBTC. They are quite reliable.

Bennethchiso:
. My brother what you just wrote is true. Many men with bouyant account think their wife is nice. They should just pray not to experience economic downturn like me. Then they will understand that women are really worst than wicked. They see men as object of financial gratification and as long as that money is not there, that man is useless. Pls bro, if you or any other man here have a sort of job link or business pls assist me. Since I lost my job, my home had been hell. GUYS I NEED HELP PLEASE! BBC

You are not alone bro.I have been struggling with it since 2015 when I lost my fairly well paid job.Since then ,it is this little job here and there low paying .The woman who helped in spending my money when things were rosy had turned to another thing .But ,we should not give up . Tomorrow will be better .I will advise that you take any available job near you for the meantime and be on the outlook for a better one .Or if there is any little business you can lay your hands on for the meantime .May God help us .

georgeakins:



Listen to JESHAL. He is realistic and intelligent.

This must be sarcasm

ImaIma1:


Why are you hiding behind this "traditional role" to avoid responsibility? If the husband and the wife act as a team, life will be better for both of them. But it seems your idea of marriage is a power tussle and that a man's job status defines him.

The Bible likened the love a man should have for his wife with the way Christ loved the church. Do you know what it means to love that way? It is not a conditional love.

Will a man who loves his wife genuinely, sit at home all day and wait for her to come back from work and meet the house upside down, kids in disarray, no food to eat with the excuse that it is her role and not his role. Is it a sin for him to tidy his surroundings. Or doesn't cleanliness lead to godliness? Why do we quote the Bible to benefit our interests?

If we are talking about roles, why should she be the one working and the man is jobless? Is it her role to be the breadwinner? But she doesn't neglect it to sit idle because it is not her "role".

Let's stop using the mindset to imprison ourselves and those around us. Some of you men will enslave your wife because you lack consideration for her that the Bible preaches.

Madame go over my comments with Romanoff, I specifically said the man should never be idle, he's a man, a man must work, I don't care how little he makes until he gets back on his feet, the same Bible teaches us a lazy man should eat, let's not play games, proverbs 31 has set the standards for a virtuous woman, God's wisdom that supercedes every man made ideology like Feminism,read and digest it that chapter very well, your role is codified there

fortune1968:
You are not alone bro.I have been struggling with it since 2015 when I lost my fairly well paid job.Since then ,it is this little job here and there low paying .The woman who helped in spending my money when things were rosy had turned to another thing .But ,we should not give up . Tomorrow will be better .I will advise that you take any available job near you for the meantime and be on the outlook for a better one .Or if there is any little business you can lay your hands on for the meantime .May God help us .

. For real I am tired and so depressed.I just don't know where to start. If I had money i wouldn't mind starting a business but no money to start with. Pls do you mind sharing with me what you do? I may take a lift from there.

spice123:

My employer remit my pension to them. Stanbic IBTC is from South Africa and I can say that they are reliable. I have experienced them first hand.

Thanks a lot sir