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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. (50795 Views)
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I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by MyOleSolksjaer: 4:17pm On Oct 05, 2021 |
Dear All, I need your candid advise on these matters that touch the heart. I got married last year to the mother of my beautiful daughter sometime in August last year during the COVID lock down. The marriage was against my wishes and due to parental pressure. Prior to marrying my wife, I was doing a good job by making sure I take good care of my daughter and the mom. My daughter just turned 2 in July and has already started going to school. My wife and I met online and started dating immediately after our first sexual encounter. Along the line she got pregnant and we started having misunderstandings. We both decided we will keep the baby because I made a vow with God not to abort any child with any woman I impregnate. However, to cut the story short we both agreed we won't get married and her parents were cool with it as long as I take care of their daughter and my child. Then came COVID and during the events of the lockdown, I entered into a relationship with a Chemical Engineer that earns a 7 figure monthly salary. The relationship lasted for months but my mom never supported the relationship and did everything to make sure I break up with this lovely lady in a bid to marry my baby mama. I was against it knowing fully well that she is very quarrelsome and dramatic. I had inner peace with my lockdown girlfriend. Till now I still miss her and want to be with her despite being married to my wife who is always looking for ways to suspect me for one thing or the other. She has even threatened that if she catch me cheating, she will cheat back. My marriage for the past 1 year has been full of problems, drama, and even attempted violence. My wife just graduated from Uni and is about to go in for her NYSC. I am even praying she gets posted out of Lagos preferably the North. This marriage has drained me of all my resources and has taken away a lot from me. My wife doesn't appreciate the good I do for her and my daughter. She is always quick to judge me and criticize for every small mistake I make. She nags all the time and always want to pick a fight for bullshit reasons. I don't find my wife attractive anymore and I have lost every desire to have sex with her from the first day we married in August last year. She gets upset when female colleagues at work call me. I had considered resigning because we had an issue over my boss at work who always calls me for work related stuff. I am not on good terms with my mom because she engineered this marriage against my own wishes. My wife and I don't have a good relationship. It has gotten so bad that we don't sleep in the same room anymore. I had to leave the house for some time to stay in an accommodation provided by my work place so I can have inner peace and regain my sanity. I am so pained because of my relationship that ended abruptly. I tried getting back with my Ex whom I still love but now she doesn't want to have anything to do with me despite how much I still love her. My question is, should I still try to win my ex over or find another woman? As for my marriage, I consider it dead and over. I don't care what my parents particularly my mom will do. I don't bleeping care anymore. All I want is my love to come back to my life and end this toxic marriage. 112 Likes 11 Shares |
Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by Bigredmachine: 4:18pm On Oct 05, 2021 |
okay listen to what i have to say... its not advisable to stay in a marriage that you are not happy in, you thinking your marriage with your wife is over, is a decision only you and you alone can take... if you think you can get in touch with your ex and there is a chance of marrying her, give it a trial... but if she has been taken or she is no longer interested abeg japa, make she no go eliminate you as for your parents, they have lived their lives, and should not be the one to be interfering in every decision you gonna take, some times dont listen to them about issues only you will live and deal with for the rest of your live think about your live man, no woman out there should make you die before your time, pick up from where u have fallen and soon you will be back to your best... it is well 250 Likes 14 Shares |
Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by GOFRONT(m): 4:20pm On Oct 05, 2021 |
Chaii Na wao......Marriage palava everyday and everywhere...... So many people getting married every weekend.......So many marriages getting soured, bitter and later broken every minute.... 54 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by tyup(m): 4:21pm On Oct 05, 2021 |
When I tell people bout the bitter truth in marriage, I'm most times called a drunkard. same way I remembered a particular day I tried helping my female neighbor out with something and after we were done all she could offer me is "I could marry you" till now I still can't believe why you do something nice for someone and they threaten to ruin ur life in return. tyup advises young guys to flee from every appearances of marriage 82 Likes 9 Shares |
Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by Youngpo413: 4:25pm On Oct 05, 2021 |
'7 figure monthly salary' so men dey gold dig too? Chai. 300 Likes 12 Shares |
Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by Nobody: 4:25pm On Oct 05, 2021 |
Hmm marriage wahala here and there. Una com dey mk us fear. Baba God abeg mk we no fall into the hands of wrong and devilish women wen we finally wan setle down,Amen But single life sweet abeg 73 Likes 4 Shares
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Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by Nobody: 4:26pm On Oct 05, 2021 |
Baba u be mumu man, solution call your mother and the said lady one day sit them down jejely remove your wedding ring put it into your mother's finger tell her to marry her since she is the one hunting for the said marriage that today you are done stand up and move out that ur one time crush is she still single go and engage her start afresh buh watch the drama your action will cause but u will be free also tell that your ex wife to start staying with your mother as ur done seening her close to your house remember to call her parents to inform them. ![]() 41 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by WestAfricaan: 4:26pm On Oct 05, 2021 |
Op to be candid with you, you decisions sounds childish. No one should wield so much power over who you'll settle down with, most especially when you both quarrels during courtship. 73 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by socialmediaman: 4:26pm On Oct 05, 2021 |
Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by czarr(m): 4:27pm On Oct 05, 2021 |
Ndo!! 1 Like |
Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by thesicilian: 4:35pm On Oct 05, 2021 |
You are both two strangers living together because of a baby. But I can tell you for free that that child will have a better life with you two divorced than growing up in the toxic environment being created by your forced union. 43 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by dallasi: 4:36pm On Oct 05, 2021 |
[s] MyOleSolksjaer:[/s] 19 Likes 3 Shares
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Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by Nobody: 4:39pm On Oct 05, 2021 |
You are a gold digger and an opportunist you are only in love with the seven figures and not the lady. 184 Likes 11 Shares |
Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by szczescie(m): 4:41pm On Oct 05, 2021 |
No be me send you work Call your mother to come and help you complete what she started But you done enter, you done enter forget that other woman I'm sure she may have moved on by now or the feelings she had for you back then may have faded. Try to work on this one, tell her everything you just told us one cool night after eating and better lashing have a heart to heart discussion with her and try to fix things As far as you still have that other woman in mind as plan B I'm sure even you will want this your plan A to fail so that you can test plan B, you will also be looking at every small mistake as a big deal because you will always have plan B in mind Also remember Nostalgia is a b!+Ch in your mind that plan B woman will ALWAYS be better than she really is and that Plan A woman in the house with you will ALWAYS be a little worse than she truly is because you rarely remember the minor mistakes of miss plan B you didn't store those things in your mind, meanwhile every mistake Mrs plan A makes is very fresh and new. 29 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by Bantino(m): 4:41pm On Oct 05, 2021 |
Quite unfortunate, but try to make things work, you're the man. 3 Likes |
Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by GoldenJAT(m): 4:41pm On Oct 05, 2021 |
Mothers too de follow cause marriage wahala sometimes! It's quite a dicey situation,as it seems your mind is made up already. As I will always say! Take your actions and take responsibility for it. 4 Likes |
Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by Hapinex01: 4:41pm On Oct 05, 2021 |
Seek God in everything 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by blamingthedevil: 4:41pm On Oct 05, 2021 |
United Manager |
Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by Bobotic(m): 4:41pm On Oct 05, 2021 |
I never settle my own finish, but lemme ask o if you handle it outside social media person go die? ![]() ![]() 4 Likes
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Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by Administration1: 4:41pm On Oct 05, 2021 |
Oga, let me tell you the bitter truth, Its a long read and full of typos. The marriage will not last if you continue exchanging words with her, but from my own standpoint, let me give you candid advice. 1. Don't you ever think of resigning!!! Never it cross your mind 2. Get a second phone or better still change the contact of the number of the lady you love, but make sure you tell her that you are married oh, so don't start sending useless love messages back and front. I got married too to someone I was pressured to get married to, but believe you me, she can never think of touching my phone or suspectign her, I give her all the money or attention she needs, in fact, my salary immediately I am paid, I send it to her including the last kobo, na she dey pay tithe(I still have a relationship with God), but she is in control of it, even when I lack money, I try never to ask her. 3. Get a smallie, probably one of those little decent girls from a well-to-do home as a side chick, go through my profile, you will see one of my posts and learn how to get such a girl. When you do, make it clear from the onset that you are married but you don't love the lady. Right now sef we have broken up because Our Accounts Officer and I have found a way to make ourselves happy irrespective of our marriages. 4. Don't you ever lay your hands on your wife, biko, just avoid her, I even look for ways to make my wife go on trips, in her mind this man loves me, whereas it's just to make me have peace of mind either with the smallie or our Accounts Officer who is also wishing same thing for her husband. The funny thing is that both my smallie and our Accounts Officer visits our home(But I never ever take them to our room to do the thing). 5. Make peace with yourself that your ex can never come back, 14 Likes |
Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by GIANTPLUSHUB: 4:42pm On Oct 05, 2021 |
Hmmmm |
Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by b3llo(m): 4:42pm On Oct 05, 2021 |
My advice to you 1. Give your wife and daughter space then cease communication and any form of help till your wife grows sense. 2. Bros forget what your parents and her own might feel. Hardened your heart and ignore all their rant. Your sanity and health should be your priority because if you die today somebody will marry that your so called wife. 3. Forget your ex and anything called love. Build your life and increase your wealth. If That's my few advice... 7 Likes |
Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by ATEAMS: 4:42pm On Oct 05, 2021 |
Sorry for your inconvenience .... 2 Likes |
Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by Vinnie2000(m): 4:42pm On Oct 05, 2021 |
When You tell Young men NOT TO RUSH into Marriage, Dey will Call you a Small boy! ![]() ![]() There are Certain Things a Guy should have b4 marriage!! *Financial Stability *Experience/Maturity *Cool-headedness *Strong knowledge of Females/ Ability to tame dem.. OP... All hope is Not Lost! Sit ur Wife and Talk to her! Tell her dat You are Hurting badly! Dat does she want you Dead? ![]() If She refused to Change under 3weeks, Do Something Drastic!! ![]() 3 Likes |
Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by OB7Foreva(m): 4:42pm On Oct 05, 2021 |
What's still holding you back from leaving!?! ![]() Marriage dn become evil thing dis days, God when I'm ready provide me one in a kind lady bc me I no want wahala for dis life... 3 Likes |
Re: I Am Not Happy In My Marriage, Please I Need Advise. by Bbqekpa: 4:42pm On Oct 05, 2021 |
Sounds like you are the problem. The lady needs to be delivered from you 31 Likes 1 Share |
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