If you don't have a hand in the man's death, don't dull yourself

Dskillful:
Please don't mind my errors but I need help because I am really confused...

To cut the story short, I dated a girl for 2 years which her family and mine are fully aware, she's an Igbo girl and I am from Rivers State.

2018 I wanted to get married to her all of a sudden her parents refused, they started talking about tribal differences, I told them even my mum is an Igbo woman but they don't want to to listen. It got worst when the Rev. Fr said no they should not allow her marry me because they are Catholic. I felt very bad, but how will I do, I moved on with my life.

That same year they gave her out in marriage to one guy who based abroad, I congratulated her without any grudges. They got married and this year the man died but they have a son, the man has been buried but I still love her and she is willing to come back to me, infact as it stands we are more than lovers.

But I am giving her space so that she will mourn her husband very well and I don't want people to feel I prayed for the man to die so that I can take her back, because she said nothing will stop her this time. My problem now is should I let her go or marry her because I love her so much 100%?

E seems you've already made up ur mind

@DSkillful

The girl, her parents and Reverend played a fast one on you. You are in love with her till god's kingdom come, but that love is only in your head; if you know, you know.

If you were Bill Gates, Otedola, Elon Musk, or Ned Nwoko, do you think the girl and her parents would have disapproved of your marriage with her? The answer is NO. Even if the Reverend disapproved, she and her parents would have ignored him. In fact, she would have married you regardless of what her parents thought. The religious and tribal differences brought up by the parents were just excuses used by the girl and her parents, conniving together, to marry the highest bidder.

Think about it, the parents were aware of your relationship with her and how serious it was, why didn't they bring up the religious and tribal differences initially? That's because these were never problems and the parents were okay with you. But as soon as a higher bidder came along, you were no longer needed and excuses then had to be made to dump you. Believe me, the girl and her parents were in on it.

Now after discarding you like an expandable utility, you ex is back as a widowed single mom of one with her tokunbo pùssy and you are thinking of accepting her back? Something is seriously wrong with your IQ level.

EDIT: I know you have already made up your mind, since you think both of you are more than lovers (an illusion which exists only in your head). You are probably just looking for people that will validate the decision you have already made in your mind.

10 over 10 advice[/color]

[color=#990000]

chatinent:

Ikwerre?


Ok?


I understand how this feels. What I don't understand is do we blame the parents who suggested who she should marry or she who decided to marry the “abroad” person? Why I am saying this is because 99.8 percent of Naija babes cannot use ear and hear anything abroad.
Let's continue reading your story sha.


That's the feeling, man.

Tah! Who you dey deceive?

What?!! My condolences.

Make I no talk, let's hear you finish...

You mean you didn't even let her mourn him?
,
Is that so?

Ok. Ok. Next? Have you thought of her son in all these rancho-krishna drama?


Make I no spoil show. Carry on.



I won't mince words with you.

I know death is inevitable...but I am wondering sth, shey she has another parents? No bi the same parents? Where these morale come from?

Abi are we just blaming innocent parents?

Una dey yarn when the husby dey alive? Cos I can't believe it was when you sent your consolation that this new relationship began. Shey you mah dey plan relocate go live with am for the husband house abroad?
Make I mind my business...
Back to you sha, let me tell you a story about Nigeria.

Goodluck Jonathan was the Vice when Yar'Adua was the president. Yar'Adua passed away. And by virtue of the death, the constitution allows the Vice to become the President.

In another news, Goodluck was seen shedding tears and said he wished Yar'Adua hadn't died...*Some text missing*

My network is poor. Sb may finish the story.

Discussion continues..

Anything wey you wan do, tuale! Nothing we go talk go change you.

Obaxxx:

Op,abeg show some respect to the dead husband . Na small thing dey vex some people ghost Especially when e be say he even leave him banny behind for vultures[quote

Because e fit be say him spirit self never waka far........Allow her to mourn her dead husband before you go think of engaging her

No rush am, because e dey very obvious say na urgent 2k lashing dey hungry you so

Calling him a vulture is a lil too hard don't you think so?
Don't forget he knew her before she even got married

Bro Go for her if she makes you happy.

this marriage will even be economical for you

As my towns man, the gods forbid you to marry that lady. Her parents have rejected you before and they will still reject you again. Look for a fresh banny if you are so desperate to settle down. Before people will say na you do the Jazz wey kill her husband. This is Nigeria o!
The gods have spoken.

When your eyes clears you go understand say you be mumu man

Oniranu you better look for another wife to avoid untimely death

@DSkillful

In addition to what I wrote before, all you should do now is take the red pill. Don't let a widowed single mom of one heap the financial responsibilities of her and her child on you under the pretext of love. Don't be the retirement plan (husband) of such a woman. Women don't love, they only like you for what they can benefit from you and how you make them feel. You are now useful to your ex, so she is back. Surprisingly, there is no talk of religious and tribal differences... lmao.

Funny enough, if a higher bidder shows up again, she will readily dump you again; she will do this again and again if need be. Shine your eyes. Instead of raising another man's seed, raise your own from a single young virgin who has never had kids.

Now add your dp to this

Bola146:
you are free to contact her but since the parents are not in support, it's somehow difficult. Try your luck

Should he be?

lilvicky68:
I don't think you're sad about the man's death

Abi bawo!?

AYNL:
Leave the girl beg,her parents no go still allow you,and now she's even got a child,gbagbe o bobo

Lol move on abi go on?

zexy2030:
You can move on, so African magic tv can have more scripts to act.

wahala aje

Ficient:
wahala

You are lust

Kiloshele?!

sofiscatedmoron:
Who gives a fyck about who u love,
Lovr nwatiti kee u dere

You are a mumu man....

The parents and their so called pastor don't want you so what's your problem??

Or because her husband is late suddenly you developed feelings for her ok , use your tongue to count ya teeth

saddler:


Dont try that rubbish

This love go soon clear for your eyes now.

Na half past one you wan marry?

Tokunbo?

Better look for a single girl and start afresh.

E be like say she don give you kpekus fuxck.

What you failed to do was to asked him the benefits of marrying her; a window married abroad with a child must have papers, all the late husband has abroad are now naturally hers.

I have seen some Nigerians married old grannies just because they want to relocate or have abroad papers and we all celebrated their "efforts" because na oyinbo woman.

Love is not just the sole reason why he wants to marry his ex who abandoned him for another man, let list other benefits he envisioned in the new found love and marriage to his ex, thank you.

frozen70:


This time around, her parents will give you 100% approval to marry her

Keep in touch with her

But give her time to mourn her husband and find out how long is the period of mourning, I think is one year

Meanwhile, don't leave her at this period, be there for her as she will fight anyone that wants to spoil this second journey of your love for her

after she don become tokunbo abi?? Person wey op suppose don forget teytey


Taloni Awon obi weyrey

Dskillful:
Please don't mind my errors but I need help because I am really confused...

To cut the story short, I dated a girl for 2 years which her family and mine are fully aware, she's an Igbo girl and I am from Rivers State.

2018 I wanted to get married to her all of a sudden her parents refused, they started talking about tribal differences, I told them even my mum is an Igbo woman but they don't want to to listen. It got worst when the Rev. Fr said no they should not allow her marry me because they are Catholic. I felt very bad, but how will I do, I moved on with my life.

That same year they gave her out in marriage to one guy who based abroad, I congratulated her without any grudges. They got married and this year the man died but they have a son, the man has been buried but I still love her and she is willing to come back to me, infact as it stands we are more than lovers.

But I am giving her space so that she will mourn her husband very well and I don't want people to feel I prayed for the man to die so that I can take her back, because she said nothing will stop her this time. My problem now is should I let her go or marry her because I love her so much 100%?

Tribalism is why nigera will forever be a useless nation. As a man, finding a good honest woman is rare. If you lover her and you feel your parents are unfairly characterizing her, you have every right to ignore them and do what you feel is best. That way, you won't be living with bitterness and regret if you let her go.

That being said if you DO let her go, I'm sure a nice sugar daddy like myself will step in nicely and provide knack and snacks. Choose wisely.

Valevilla:
Op pardon me but you're a very big fool, a simp of the highest order.
They never wanted you to Marry their daughter at first they want someone better with more money and status it's not about tribal difference or religious views (Catholics can marry protestants). They already have someone better for their daughter and if the girl really love you she would have objected but I guess she didn't.
While dating the parents knew you're not of the same tribe neither are you a Catholic but they allowed you to be with their daughter which I know they were using you or something of that sought.
All of a sudden her husband who she left you for died and she now wants you and you want her back guess you now know why I call you a fool. Was it that all those years she was married you didn't move on or what? Do you think if the husband was alive she would have give a second thought of you? Wise up man she wants someone to take care of her and her kid and the parents are going to accept you wholeheartedly now...
I've gotta stop here.


Don't be foolish bro. Think well

This guy nailed it bold and clearly

Dskillful:
Please don't mind my errors but I need help because I am really confused...

To cut the story short, I dated a girl for 2 years which her family and mine are fully aware, she's an Igbo girl and I am from Rivers State.

2018 I wanted to get married to her all of a sudden her parents refused, they started talking about tribal differences, I told them even my mum is an Igbo woman but they don't want to to listen. It got worst when the Rev. Fr said no they should not allow her marry me because they are Catholic. I felt very bad, but how will I do, I moved on with my life.

That same year they gave her out in marriage to one guy who based abroad, I congratulated her without any grudges. They got married and this year the man died but they have a son, the man has been buried but I still love her and she is willing to come back to me, infact as it stands we are more than lovers.

But I am giving her space so that she will mourn her husband very well and I don't want people to feel I prayed for the man to die so that I can take her back, because she said nothing will stop her this time. My problem now is should I let her go or marry her because I love her so much 100%?

Love who your heart wants.
Tomorrow is not guaranteed.
You will always ho back to her so love her anyway.
What people say should never matter.

Valevilla:
Op pardon me but you're a very big fool, a simp of the highest order.
They never wanted you to Marry their daughter at first they want someone better with more money and status it's not about tribal difference or religious views (Catholics can marry protestants). They already have someone better for their daughter and if the girl really love you she would have objected but I guess she didn't.
While dating the parents knew you're not of the same tribe neither are you a Catholic but they allowed you to be with their daughter which I know they were using you or something of that sought.
All of a sudden her husband who she left you for died and she now wants you and you want her back guess you now know why I call you a fool. Was it that all those years she was married you didn't move on or what? Do you think if the husband was alive she would have give a second thought of you? Wise up man she wants someone to take care of her and her kid and the parents are going to accept you wholeheartedly now...
I've gotta stop here.


Don't be foolish bro. Think well

Who told you she can't take care of herself and her kid.
You think women are beggars because you are surrounded by such?
Pls. Keep your poor mentality to yourself. Let him love who he loves.

OP, the decision to get with her or not is completely up to you.

But let me ask you this: if you weren't good enough for her or her parents the first time, if she wasn't willing to fight for you the first time around, what makes you think she or her parents won't disregard you the second time? When people show you who they are the first time, please believe them. You were good enough the first time. You deserve someone who will see how special you are from the beginning, not when their circumstances have changed or when it's convenient for them. Good luck.

Marriage brings so much hate at times. If u marry her, u will always feel a disconnect between your house and her parents no matter how hard you try. If the babe loved you from her heart, she would have refused that guy abroad no matter what. I'm a Catholic, I know religious difference can always be an issue. For me I will say move on, support her however u can, but don't marry her.

kaziblake:
I am so sorry for what you went through because of love and tribalism in Nigeria.
Firstly,give her space a bit so that she can mourn her husband and people won’t accuse both of you of killing him,do not touch her during the period at all Pls.
Then after the mourning stage is over,you can go back and propose to her again and inform her parent that you want to marry her this time violently lol.
You guys are obviously soulmates looking at the circumstances.

Wisdom too much for your head.
I think so too, they're actually soulmates and now both of them are ready to be together.

Dear OP true love would wound you, e go nearly kill you. But be brave, because it's only that love that would change you and make you a better version of yourself.

Your love for each other is deep and no relationship or friendship or whatever on earth can be deeper than that..

If you deny your feelings and try to move on, I can promise you, that you would never feel the way she made you feel with someone else.

Dear OP you're lucky to be able to identify your person.
Most people are lost and have given up on true love
Allow her to grieve.

My advise is that you pick up the piece from next year !!!


Just because you love her doesn't mean you should make stupid decisions.

Set proper boundaries and am sure the parents won't have any issue with you this time, because now they would be convinced that your love is stronger than their wish , and they must give you what you demand.
But leave her alone for now, wait till January before you try to marry

I actually thought it was complicated, but its not, go and meet her parents.

frozen70:


This time around, her parents will give you 100% approval to marry her

Keep in touch with her

But give her time to mourn her husband and find out how long is the period of mourning, I think is one year

Meanwhile, don't leave her at this period, be there for her as she will fight anyone that wants to spoil this second journey of your love for her

Very correct...This is nature's way of amending things.....Also, it is blessing in disguise....Joseph went to Egypt because of his jealous brothers, but that was God's way of free visa entry into Egypt for Joseph.... Maybe Op has been very prayerful....He is getting a total/full package this time around: Wife, travel, maybe some inheritance( lol) but, PLEASE Op, be a Great father to that little fatherless boy and see how God will step u up the more sweatlessly

Dskillful:
Please don't mind my errors but I need help because I am really confused...

To cut the story short, I dated a girl for 2 years which her family and mine are fully aware, she's an Igbo girl and I am from Rivers State.

2018 I wanted to get married to her all of a sudden her parents refused, they started talking about tribal differences, I told them even my mum is an Igbo woman but they don't want to to listen. It got worst when the Rev. Fr said no they should not allow her marry me because they are Catholic. I felt very bad, but how will I do, I moved on with my life.

That same year they gave her out in marriage to one guy who based abroad, I congratulated her without any grudges. They got married and this year the man died but they have a son, the man has been buried but I still love her and she is willing to come back to me, infact as it stands we are more than lovers.

But I am giving her space so that she will mourn her husband very well and I don't want people to feel I prayed for the man to die so that I can take her back, because she said nothing will stop her this time. My problem now is should I let her go or marry her because I love her so much 100%?

U are made love to this mourning woman and now asking us what to do?
Leave her for one year before approaching d family

I has similar story related to yours but different decision.. I have a girl I was dating then and ready to marry her and have asked her about that severally, but she do ignore giving me answer to the question I asked to her.. to cut long story short.. her parents don't accept me because having a guy that stays in Dubai that wants to marry her.. she accepted even to an extent the husband to be was treating to deal with me.. this happened 2019 but never still get married after promising to her when he gets back(unfortunately the guy had a problem before coming back to Nigeria with nothing).. my love for the girl reduced to nothing having me as her second choice.. right now we are sex mate.. we Bleep she go.. but once she's married I end up with her.. right now she can't turn round the clock again.. Dude that girl no value you so no stress yourself oo

chatinent:

Ikwerre?


Ok?


I understand how this feels. What I don't understand is do we blame the parents who suggested who she should marry or she who decided to marry the “abroad” person? Why I am saying this is because 99.8 percent of Naija babes cannot use ear and hear anything abroad.
Let's continue reading your story sha.


That's the feeling, man.

Tah! Who you dey deceive?

What?!! My condolences.

Make I no talk, let's hear you finish...

You mean you didn't even let her mourn him?
,
Is that so?

Ok. Ok. Next? Have you thought of her son in all these rancho-krishna drama?


Make I no spoil show. Carry on.



I won't mince words with you.

I know death is inevitable...but I am wondering sth, shey she has another parents? No bi the same parents? Where these morale come from?

Abi are we just blaming innocent parents?

Una dey yarn when the husby dey alive? Cos I can't believe it was when you sent your consolation that this new relationship began. Shey you mah dey plan relocate go live with am for the husband house abroad?
Make I mind my business...
Back to you sha, let me tell you a story about Nigeria.

Goodluck Jonathan was the Vice when Yar'Adua was the president. Yar'Adua passed away. And by virtue of the death, the constitution allows the Vice to become the President.

In another news, Goodluck was seen shedding tears and said he wished Yar'Adua hadn't died...*Some text missing*

My network is poor. Sb may finish the story.

Discussion continues..

Anything wey you wan do, tuale! Nothing we go talk go change you.

Only a deep thinker will understand what you wrote and they are true.

What I can deduce from his story is that the ex girlfriend just used tribe as excuse to go marry the other guy (abroad guys dey sweet naija girls) and the parents too want to cash out.

The reason why the girl will want to come back is because her value must have depreciated in the relationship market and that is why her parents will not have an issue with her going back to the ex.


The OP should better wise up and leave the girl to find another lady that will love him for real.