This was originally prepared 30th September, 2018 and edited 6th October, 2021

At first, when I knew Jehovah’s Witnesses do not have the truth, it's normal to talk about it with my siblings and parents. You also know it's normal for them to think you are attacking them. Of course, there is this notion of wait on Jehovah. But we that have done the research know that all those waiting on means nothing.

In summary, they were serious bad blood between me and my dad. Especially my dad. My dad was the coordinator, Body of Elders. When I returned the last outline given to me, he was really displeased. At some point, when I moved out of the house, when I go home and greet him, he will simply respond, sometimes, he will pretend he has not seen me.

But there is a catch. Something important to do.

When the elders met with me, after hearing I express disagreement with some teachings of the organization, they wanted to ‘readjust’ my understanding in a spirit of kindness, to explain things again to me (as if I didn't know or understood them even better than them). Since I had known that disagreeing with organization’s teachings with them will get me disfellowshipped, I simply refused to discuss anything with them. They were two elders. I simply told them whatever disagreement I had, I’ll keep it personal, that I am not discussing with them. No matter the antics they brought, I stuck to my guns, I was not going to say anything to them and they were never going to force it out of my mouth. That was where control comes in.

When the circuit overseer visited, they set up another meeting, this time my dad and the Circuit Overseer. I understood why, I had spoken with my dad about 1914. They wanted to meet in my room, since I was still living with my parents then.

The way I saw and observed it and based on the experiences others ex-members had, the whole idea is for the elders to be in control, feel in charge of the meeting, in a way making you uncomfortable, subject to their undue influence. This was the case in the first meeting where we met in the Hall. There were spaces in seats around the hall for us to sit comfortably and it was only 3 of us, me and 2 elders. These men decided to sit so tight to me, putting me in the middle while both sat both ends as if we were sharing body heat, in a way to create an influencing position over me. So, meeting in my room would give them the same edge, the control over me. Besides, people can pass by, giving them the impression, I did something wrong (of course, it was the biggest sin to disagree with beliefs of the organization).

So, I objected politely. I had understood the game. I wanted the meeting to be in a kingdom Hall. The time was 6pm. I got there before that time, after returning from work. The Circuit Overseer was there, only my dad wasn't. He didn't return yet from work. I stayed a little, then later went out to eat snacks. When I got back, the Circuit Overseer was surprised, he said he thought I wouldn't come back, that I fled. (I laughed within me; become he wasn't aware how much control I had at the time)

Anyway, when my dad came, about 7:30pm, we started. They kept me in front, sitting alone in a chair, like someone that was guilty of a serious wrong and trouble before them, like sitting before judgment, while they sat together. (of course, I knew it was all about making me uncomfortable, to be manipulated to their will)

So, we started. I observed they opened Bible Teach book, in their tablets and phones. To explain 1914 to me. I told them I had nothing to say to them. Nothing. That like I told the other elders I met, I'll keep whatever it was to myself, I don't want any trouble.

I could see my dad visibly disappointed and displeased. Of course, I didn't want the whole meeting to seem dry, I gave the Circuit Overseer other things to discuss on, like the attitude witnesses display on other people, how uncaring they can be towards the afflictions of others. A particular incident was when it was reported some missionaries were killed in Jerusalem. The event happened around 2011, I remember I was still in the university then, a text messages were forwarded among the witnesses to pray for them. Later in the year, it became a point of public talk by the District Overseer in the convention as he hammered why Witnesses should be forwarding such messages among themselves, that they were basically listening to the ‘voice of a strangers’, that Witnesses should have known the way the organization operated, that the organization would not send their missionaries to places like that.

Looking back to the event of that time and how the District Overseer reacted during the talk, the lack of basic human sympathy and empathy to the lives lost due to religious persecution because these were not Jehovah’s Witness’ Missionaries was baffling to me. As raised the topic, the Circuit Overseer was arguing that even when they were killed, they were not there for the sake of Christ, their persecution not for the sake of the good news, basically because these missionaries were not Jehovah’s Witnesses. This lack of basic human emotions clouded by religious indoctrination was interesting to observe.

After more than 3 hours of not something tangible to talk about, at least what had interest them, the Circuit Overseer turned to my Dad that there was no need to continue the meeting as I clearly did not want to discuss anything with them. Without giving them any teaching to try to ‘readjust’ my understanding to ‘scriptural teachings’ of the organization. He even suggested that even I disagree with some beliefs, I should have a broader view of the organization and what it has accomplished. He did not know I had and I know exactly what the organization was, what it had accomplished and how it had done so.

It seems my Mum and Dad had some discussion how the meeting went. Days after the meeting, she had mocked me that all the things I was discussing at home, immediately I met them, I suddenly became mute. I laughed and told her that it was a ‘stroke of genius’ move. I explained why I did not want to discuss with them as presented below.

Why did I have to do that? Why didn't I simply pour out my knowledge on false teachings of the organization to the elders or the Circuit Overseer? As I had been doing at home?

Because I Was Trying To Avoid Getting Disfellowship. Why?

Getting disfellowship ruins ones’ reputation and closes any door for future scriptural discussion. It does not matter whether you fornicated or disagree with the beliefs of the organization, when one is disfellowship, in the eyes of many, you are all same. They will not even know what happened or did not happen, there is this air of suspicion and rumors of your supposed wrong and it will circulate among the witnesses without anyone having the interest to actually hear from you.
In this case, disagreement with organization, especially when you have sound reasons with prove, would be a problem for the them, especially if you are a member with a good standing. I was and I was at the verge of becoming an elder when my awakening process started. Previous to this, I had the hint, my dad had told me, and the Circuit Overseer had told me. So, in order to cage you from speaking, they come after your reputation by disfellowshipping you. I owe this insight (into the inner workings of the religion) to my reading Crisis of Conscience and In Search of Christian Freedom from cover to cover. Else, I would have fallen into the trap many ex-members fall into by speaking out too soon and getting your reputation tarnished.

The most important currency anyone that disagree with the organization of Jehovah’s Witnesses has and must protect is his reputation. That’s why I tell people who disagree, avoid getting disfellowship, because when the organization disfellowships you, they have succeeded in destroying your life and any defense you make.

This attack on ones’ reputation can be seen in that when I started posting on nairaland, I was still an MS. Immediately a Jehovah’s Witness (they were so many on nairaland, I think some are moderators too) came across it, their comment would always begin like …’this one that couldn’t keep with God’s requirement and is chased out’, or ‘you were disfellowship and instead of changing your ways, you come to vent my anger and frustrations’ etc. The idea is that no one with a good motive would say anything disparaging to the image of the organization, the person must necessarily be a disfellowshipped, disgruntled individual who is looking any sort of ways to get back at the organization. That what is said by this individual could be true, valid and factual, (it does not matter if disfellowshipped and disgruntled) even based on the scriptures is a possibility never to be considered.

I had to dispel such rumor. I had never faced any judicial committee, I was an MS. At one point, I told one I was leading the group out in field ministry, which was what I was doing at the time. I understood that the whole goal was to come after my reputation, if your reputation is damage, no one listens to you. It was never going to work; I was smarter than that and I had a lot of work to carry out on many Witnesses. So, I had to make sure I avoid it. (I had faded, I no longer attended meetings and field service. I give them the impression that I have no interest in religion.)

WHY DIDN’T I SIMPLY QUIT?
If I did, I wouldn’t be able to reach as many Witnesses as I do today. The door would had been shut. I understand that what I share with them may appear to have no effect on them. But it’s a seed and will germinate in some, while in others may never.

SECOND PART
As I said, it was a difficult relationship, especially with my dad. He is this sort of strict dogmatic person. He had worked his ass off to get to the position he was occupying, he deeply believes in those things as being true and doesn’t want to let anything affect it. He deeply believes in the organization and even if it were a false belief, he is willing to accept it. Such mindset from people who claim to love truth sometimes is what I cannot wrap my head around.

But I needed to have my family back. True, I have escaped from an oppressive religious group. But my family is still there, knowing nothing of their false beliefs, prophecies or how they manipulate people. Worse of it all, try to warn them and you are seen as the enemy.

I must say that our conversations, especially with my dad or mum or brothers were mostly filled with animosity. At worse, it was creating a barrier between us. My dad saw me as a disappointment, he felt he had done everything good for me, (I was the most loved of all my siblings) that I was unappreciative, I had left the ‘truth’.

When I had moved from home to a rented apartment, one of the things he had told me, point blank was, “I should not leave Jehovah.” I understand what he meant, in his mind, not leaving Jehovah equated to not leaving the watchtower organization but he could not bring himself to say so directly. I guess in some ways, he was scared of trying to prove the truthfulness of the beliefs to me as I had shown him several times with unassailable proves he could not dispute they had none. My mum at some point sent me a text, telling me ‘she is afraid of me, if I leave the organization, she will have nothing to do with me’.

Truth is, these were really trying times. Nothing is more important to a man than his family. In my mind, all would be torn from me, because I left the religion of my birth. Calling my mum or answering her calls became depressing, for while I avoided discussing religious matter with her, she would always have a way to bring it up, using those to threatened me.

I continued studying, researching, reading blogs from ex-jws, their experiences etc. I read of experiences of some who had gotten their family out and how they succeeded in doing so (I understand this was the exception rather than the rules), also of those who lost their family too. I read of someone who went under-cover to get her family out. She basically became a member again, got reinstated and after more than 10 years, succeeded in opening the heart and mind of her love one and getting them out of the religious group. I read of Barbara Anderson’s experience, she and her husband lost their only son to the religion. I also watched the interview by Late Ray Franz, I read both his books, Crisis of Conscience and In Search of Christian Freedom. I read the experiences of Paul Grundy, author of JWfacts.com.

In all these experiences, one thing became clear…when discussing with Witnesses about religious views or anything, I had to avoid attacking them or their beliefs. For doing so would put up a barrier. They would come out defensive and will shut down. It would simply work in favour of their indoctrination and persecution complex. I would end up accomplishing the very opposite of what I tried to accomplished.

It was true in my own case, instead of winning over my family, I was driving a wedge between us, widening the gap. I was basically accomplishing the very opposite. So, I asked myself, what do I want to achieve? What was my goal?

I wanted my family out, even if I couldn’t, but at least, for them to see my reasons and understand and accept my decisions. For us to remain together without religion deciding for them what was good or bad and how they should treat their family members. I wanted to open their minds but at the same time, not appearing to be attacking them or their cherished believes. So, I needed to change my strategy, I need to change my approach to everything.

Let me say something important here. Most Witnesses see the problems within them, but they simple cannot link it to the source, the organization. A bad tree produces bad fruit. The same hold true for some former members. Most after realizing what the organization is, simply stopped researching. In a sense, they get half information and simply go off. Someone reads Crisis of Conscience, probably halfway and does not read the follow-up, In search of Christian Freedom. Others jwfacts.com and doesn’t read other part of the site that tells you why Witnesses acts the way they do, what controls them and how to interact with them, probably win them over. What is the problem? Half information and the result of this half information is seen their attacking disposition. They needed to understand that the average member is behaving in a fixed scripted pattern, having no mind of their own, subject to every whims and caprices of the organization who are masters at mind control, religious indoctrination and propaganda. Know this and you can predict every next move they will make.

In my own case, what actually assisted me is, I read, researched, went deep into information, root of the issues, I learnt everything I could about the system, and use it to get the needed result. I am not disfellowshipped because I smartly understood the system and outwitted it. I can walk back into the system again as if in a matric and gets accepted. I can speak to Witnesses today, even when they know I no longer attend meetings, reach their core without them feeling attacked by me nor their religious beliefs.

SO, WHAT DID I HAVE TO DO?

I simply change my approached. I avoided discussion on religious topics as much as possible. I simply told my parent I am working on my disagreement and when I am through, I will present my findings. I am not done with many topics; I am still working on some and researching on others. (Of course, I am combining them with work, looking for money, answering questions on nairaland etc) Meanwhile, I made it clear to them that I no longer attend meetings, neither am I marrying a Witness.

Speaking of understanding the watchtower system and adopting a smart approach, I understood that my parents were not the problem, they are as much a victim of the system as I was. I remembered I was also demanded to treat others as God’s reject, in matters I had no knowledge of and I did so willingly, just like we all did, blind obedience. Not because I believe the course taken was indeed right…it was simply the way things were done, how the system wanted me to reach. I simply followed.

I had to move my card away from parents’ congregation to another. The reason? I was going to be inactive, my dad was the coordinator Body of Elders, each time the Circuit Overseer comes, it will put him in a difficult situation, may even affect his cherished position, ultimately widening further gap between us. So, I had to attend another congregation farther away from them (though missing more meetings than I attended) and after some time, I moved the publisher’s card away to another congregation.

I must say, the book, ‘In search of Christian Freedom’ really broaden my outlook. It discusses the very root of the problem; organization or men, putting themselves in God’s place. It also helped me to understand the important of showing love to others, even those who treated me badly.

It is like this, when I read Crisis of Conscience and JWfacts.com, I was moved to tears, disappointment, anger. I couldn’t understand how Witnesses wouldn’t see simple clear truth about their beliefs or organization but chose to ignore it while claiming love and pursuit of truth. Those would explain my attacking disposition toward them. The video interview of Ray Franz and his second book, In Search of Christian Freedom change my outlook on matters. I could actually see matters from other perspectives. These men and women were victims of victims, captive of the concept of an organization. They clearly knew nothing else and trying to take away the only thing they knew seemed as though their lives were on the line. So how do I broadened their outlook, to cause them to consider that there is more to life than what they had been told?

So, I changed my method. I started making myself more available to my people, showed concern and care to them. I had put off religious discussion until I presented my evidence, while at little opportunities I had, I would explain some events occurring in the organization and why those occur. As an example, I explained to my dad why he saw certain letters on Child Sexual Abuse, what has actually been happening in other countries, the lawsuits, the compensation paid etc. When we spoke on contribution as against fees levied for publications, my dad said that to the best of his knowledge, selling of publications were only done here in this part of the world and eventually, the organization had to follow the practices in other countries (voluntary contributions).

I calmly explained to him that the organization was not telling the real reason why they introduced voluntary contributions, the reasons given were not true. That from inception of watchtower society, they publications was always sold, with price written on them. That it was because of the need to avoid government taxation that they had to change it to voluntary contribution. He tried to argue against, I told him court papers don’t lie, that another religion was taxed, where they took the government to court and watchtower joined the suit, that when they lost the case, they change it to voluntary donations. I can remember vividly, he had no defense and probably realize that I knew more than him and he simply said, “he is simple a faithful servant, only doing what he is told”.

Yeah…those words there some up my dad. I didn’t push further. I sensed I had given him more to process than he would have bargain. As my approach changed, I saw a marked difference in our conversation. I wasn’t attacking, I wasn’t putting him in a defensive mode. Our conversations were smooth and friendly, I didn’t put him on the spot neither did I try to make him feel inferior.

Gradually, the barrier that had existed between us started to fall. He welcomes me now, even though knowing I have nothing to do with the religion. While waiting for my findings, we carry on well. Same with my mum. It was a delicate relationship, the key was managing it well, avoiding needless confrontation, showing love, care and kindness to those not returning same, in a sense, doing the extra-ordinary to them, pouring hot coal on them.

I would tell them, ‘I agree, I am the scum of the earth, the bad person, God’s reject, but I will not do to you the same way you have done to me. If I repair you in kind, how different am I to from you?’

We are all humans. We are first humans, before we come from Africa, are Christians, are black etc. First thing first, we are all humans. We are all born with a capacity to love, we don’t learn to, it is who we are. We grow to learn hate, from our race, religion, tribe and country.

Irrespective of the indoctrination and subordination, Witnesses are all humans. That capacity is buried in their subconscious, replaced by ideology and indoctrination. If I am skillful and tactful, I believe I can reawaken them in my parent. I remember an experience I read from a former circuit overseer who was awakened by a householder (who was never a witness). He had gone to preach to her, ran the door bell, the lady answered. After introduction, the lady politely declined the message but offered him and his partner a glass of water (it was a sunny day, I cannot remember exactly if he accepted the glass of water). This act of kindness led to a cascade of events which eventually made the Circuit Overseer to realize they were blinded to many kindness and acts of love of people around them by religious indoctrination. Eventually, he was awakened, just by one act of kindness.

Today 7th October, 2021

This has been my approach. Today, out of many siblings, 3 are out, 1 is physically in mentally out in many ways. Sadly, I lost my mum. I never got to present my findings to her and though at the time I felt it was important, it did not matter anymore. Our relationship had improved greatly over the years.

She was this woman that would engage me in conversion about religion, we would discuss at learnt and I believe she had picked one or two things from the conversion as I did similarly. There was no bad blood anymore, no threat, just normal conversation that when we become exhausted, would simply rest. She was the opposite of my dad who had learnt to avoid as much as possibly any conversation that included the bible or religion. But it is all fine.

It does not matter anymore. I do not think there is any gain in presenting my printed works to him, it was meant for him and my mum. A lot has changed over the years and losing his wife of more than 3 decades, he finds comfort in his beliefs irrespective of how wrong they may be. Advanced in age and having spent a greater part of his adult life in this belief and religion, I would be creating a serious cognitive dissonance in him and I belief he had experience it at some point during the times we speak. It would be highly insensitive on my own part.

Because if it turns out his beliefs and religion is not true, then he would have some tough realities to face. First, he will have to admit the entire community of religion is wrong, this would tap into some hefty issues around trust, loyalty and credibility. Second, he will have to admit his behavior towards those of other religion was unjustified. This would have a big impact on his self-image, especially considering his belief that it was the best decision joining this religion as a youth when his contemporaries did not. And thirdly, he likely faces going through the same persecution, shunning, contempt from believing members as he had done to others, which taps into his idea of safety and security.

These tough realities can be intensely threatening but the threats goes away if there are some ways of preserving his beliefs.

rottennaija, 2021

Your quote

This lack of basic human emotions clouded by religious indoctrination was interesting to observe.


My suggestion
Am not shocked they have never read where Jesus went about doing Good Jesus did not heal only those who were his friends but every one who he comes in contact with

Jesus said love those who hate you but JW love only those who are their so called members onluy

rottennaija:
SO, WHAT DID I HAVE TO DO?

I simply change my approached. I avoided discussion on religious topics as much as possible. I simply told my parent I am working on my disagreement and when I am through, I will present my findings. I am not done with many topics; I am still working on some and researching on others. (Of course, I am combining them with work, looking for money, answering questions on nairaland etc) Meanwhile, I made it clear to them that I no longer attend meetings, neither am I marrying a Witness.

Speaking of understanding the watchtower system and adopting a smart approach, I understood that my parents were not the problem, they are as much a victim of the system as I was. I remembered I was also demanded to treat others as God’s reject, in matters I had no knowledge of and I did so willingly, just like we all did, blind obedience. Not because I believe the course taken was indeed right…it was simply the way things were done, how the system wanted me to reach. I simply followed.

I had to move my card away from parents’ congregation to another. The reason? I was going to be inactive, my dad was the coordinator Body of Elders, each time the Circuit Overseer comes, it will put him in a difficult situation, may even affect his cherished position, ultimately widening further gap between us. So, I had to attend another congregation farther away from them (though missing more meetings than I attended) and after some time, I moved the publisher’s card away to another congregation.

I must say, the book, ‘In search of Christian Freedom’ really broaden my outlook. It discusses the very root of the problem; organization or men, putting themselves in God’s place. It also helped me to understand the important of showing love to others, even those who treated me badly.

It is like this, when I read Crisis of Conscience and JWfacts.com, I was moved to tears, disappointment, anger. I couldn’t understand how Witnesses wouldn’t see simple clear truth about their beliefs or organization but chose to ignore it while claiming love and pursuit of truth. Those would explain my attacking disposition toward them. The video interview of Ray Franz and his second book, In Search of Christian Freedom change my outlook on matters. I could actually see matters from other perspectives. These men and women were victims of victims, captive of the concept of an organization. They clearly knew nothing else and trying to take away the only thing they knew seemed as though their lives were on the line. So how do I broadened their outlook, to cause them to consider that there is more to life than what they had been told?

So, I changed my method. I started making myself more available to my people, showed concern and care to them. I had put off religious discussion until I presented my evidence, while at little opportunities I had, I would explain some events occurring in the organization and why those occur. As an example, I explained to my dad why he saw certain letters on Child Sexual Abuse, what has actually been happening in other countries, the lawsuits, the compensation paid etc. When we spoke on contribution as against fees levied for publications, my dad said that to the best of his knowledge, selling of publications were only done here in this part of the world and eventually, the organization had to follow the practices in other countries (voluntary contributions).

I calmly explained to him that the organization was not telling the real reason why they introduced voluntary contributions, the reasons given were not true. That from inception of watchtower society, they publications was always sold, with price written on them. That it was because of the need to avoid government taxation that they had to change it to voluntary contribution. He tried to argue against, I told him court papers don’t lie, that another religion was taxed, where they took the government to court and watchtower joined the suit, that when they lost the case, they change it to voluntary donations. I can remember vividly, he had no defense and probably realize that I knew more than him and he simply said, “he is simple a faithful servant, only doing what he is told”.

Yeah…those words there some up my dad. I didn’t push further. I sensed I had given him more to process than he would have bargain. As my approach changed, I saw a marked difference in our conversation. I wasn’t attacking, I wasn’t putting him in a defensive mode. Our conversations were smooth and friendly, I didn’t put him on the spot neither did I try to make him feel inferior.

Gradually, the barrier that had existed between us started to fall. He welcomes me now, even though knowing I have nothing to do with the religion. While waiting for my findings, we carry on well. Same with my mum. It was a delicate relationship, the key was managing it well, avoiding needless confrontation, showing love, care and kindness to those not returning same, in a sense, doing the extra-ordinary to them, pouring hot coal on them.

I would tell them, ‘I agree, I am the scum of the earth, the bad person, God’s reject, but I will not do to you the same way you have done to me. If I repair you in kind, how different am I to from you?’

We are all humans. We are first humans, before we come from Africa, are Christians, are black etc. First thing first, we are all humans. We are all born with a capacity to love, we don’t learn to, it is who we are. We grow to learn hate, from our race, religion, tribe and country.

Irrespective of the indoctrination and subordination, Witnesses are all humans. That capacity is buried in their subconscious, replaced by ideology and indoctrination. If I am skillful and tactful, I believe I can reawaken them in my parent. I remember an experience I read from a former circuit overseer who was awakened by a householder (who was never a witness). He had gone to preach to her, ran the door bell, the lady answered. After introduction, the lady politely declined the message but offered him and his partner a glass of water (it was a sunny day, I cannot remember exactly if he accepted the glass of water). This act of kindness led to a cascade of events which eventually made the Circuit Overseer to realize they were blinded to many kindness and acts of love of people around them by religious indoctrination. Eventually, he was awakened, just by one act of kindness.

You know sometimes we forget that JW are in captives most don't know they are in blind doctrine but thanks be to God who sets the law full captives free

rottennaija:


This act of kindness led to a cascade of events which eventually made the Circuit Overseer to realize they were blinded to many kindness and acts of love of people around them by religious indoctrination. Eventually, he was awakened, just by one act of kindness.

This example really touched me

No wonder Bible said love trumps up all things

No wonder God said love never fails

Oh the depth of God the great mystery of our God

Love love love wins all the time

Bishopkingsley:
Your quote

This lack of basic human emotions clouded by religious indoctrination was interesting to observe.


My suggestion
Am not shocked they have never read where Jesus went about doing Good Jesus did not heal only those who were his friends but every one who he comes in contact with

Jesus said love those who hate you but JW love only those who are their so called members onluy

Matthew chapter 26,Did Jesus Christ embrace Judas Iscariot for his rebellion and betrayal?
Numbers chapter 16,Did Moses embrace korah & his rebellious associates?

Did Paul commend Hyemaneus & his rebellious associates?
Bishop Kingsley continue to WAIL & accommodate sin in order to chase clout as long as dem bring in the mullah

Janosky:

Matthew chapter 26,Did Jesus Christ embrace Judas Iscariot for his rebellion and betrayal?
Numbers chapter 16,Did Moses embrace korah & his rebellious associates?

Did Paul commend Hyemaneus & his rebellious associates?
Bishop Kingsley continue to WAIL & accommodate sin in order to chase clout as long as dem bring in the mullah

My brother Janosky you are good in twisting scriptures so until you can see love conquers all before you can understand the places you twist

rottennaija:
SECOND PART
As I said, it was a difficult relationship, especially with my dad. He is this sort of strict dogmatic person. He had worked his ass off to get to the position he was occupying, he deeply believes in those things as being true and doesn’t want to let anything affect it. He deeply believes in the organization and even if it were a false belief, he is willing to accept it. Such mindset from people who claim to love truth sometimes is what I cannot wrap my head around.

But I needed to have my family back. True, I have escaped from an oppressive religious group. But my family is still there, knowing nothing of their false beliefs, prophecies or how they manipulate people. Worse of it all, try to warn them and you are seen as the enemy.

I must say that our conversations, especially with my dad or mum or brothers were mostly filled with animosity. At worse, it was creating a barrier between us. My dad saw me as a disappointment, he felt he had done everything good for me, (I was the most loved of all my siblings) that I was unappreciative, I had left the ‘truth’.

When I had moved from home to a rented apartment, one of the things he had told me, point blank was, “I should not leave Jehovah.” I understand what he meant, in his mind, not leaving Jehovah equated to not leaving the watchtower organization but he could not bring himself to say so directly. I guess in some ways, he was scared of trying to prove the truthfulness of the beliefs to me as I had shown him several times with unassailable proves he could not dispute they had none. My mum at some point sent me a text, telling me ‘she is afraid of me, if I leave the organization, she will have nothing to do with me’.

Truth is, these were really trying times. Nothing is more important to a man than his family. In my mind, all would be torn from me, because I left the religion of my birth. Calling my mum or answering her calls became depressing, for while I avoided discussing religious matter with her, she would always have a way to bring it up, using those to threatened me.

I continued studying, researching, reading blogs from ex-jws, their experiences etc. I read of experiences of some who had gotten their family out and how they succeeded in doing so (I understand this was the exception rather than the rules), also of those who lost their family too. I read of someone who went under-cover to get her family out. She basically became a member again, got reinstated and after more than 10 years, succeeded in opening the heart and mind of her love one and getting them out of the religious group. I read of Barbara Anderson’s experience, she and her husband lost their only son to the religion. I also watched the interview by Late Ray Franz, I read both his books, Crisis of Conscience and In Search of Christian Freedom. I read the experiences of Paul Grundy, author of JWfacts.com.

In all these experiences, one thing became clear…when discussing with Witnesses about religious views or anything, I had to avoid attacking them or their beliefs. For doing so would put up a barrier. They would come out defensive and will shut down. It would simply work in favour of their indoctrination and persecution complex. I would end up accomplishing the very opposite of what I tried to accomplished.

It was true in my own case, instead of winning over my family, I was driving a wedge between us, widening the gap. I was basically accomplishing the very opposite. So, I asked myself, what do I want to achieve? What was my goal?

I wanted my family out, even if I couldn’t, but at least, for them to see my reasons and understand and accept my decisions. For us to remain together without religion deciding for them what was good or bad and how they should treat their family members. I wanted to open their minds but at the same time, not appearing to be attacking them or their cherished believes. So, I needed to change my strategy, I need to change my approach to everything.

Let me say something important here. Most Witnesses see the problems within them, but they simple cannot link it to the source, the organization. A bad tree produces bad fruit. The same hold true for some former members. Most after realizing what the organization is, simply stopped researching. In a sense, they get half information and simply go off. Someone reads Crisis of Conscience, probably halfway and does not read the follow-up, In search of Christian Freedom. Others jwfacts.com and doesn’t read other part of the site that tells you why Witnesses acts the way they do, what controls them and how to interact with them, probably win them over. What is the problem? Half information and the result of this half information is seen their attacking disposition. They needed to understand that the average member is behaving in a fixed scripted pattern, having no mind of their own, subject to every whims and caprices of the organization who are masters at mind control, religious indoctrination and propaganda. Know this and you can predict every next move they will make.

In my own case, what actually assisted me is, I read, researched, went deep into information, root of the issues, I learnt everything I could about the system, and use it to get the needed result. I am not disfellowshipped because I smartly understood the system and outwitted it. I can walk back into the system again as if in a matric and gets accepted. I can speak to Witnesses today, even when they know I no longer attend meetings, reach their core without them feeling attacked by me nor their religious beliefs.

Hebrews 11:25, Moses believed in JEHOVAH'S organization and never left.
I dorff my heart for your Dad jare.
Matthew 24:13, JEHOVAH & his son won't forget his love for Jehovah God.
Faithless son

Did Jesus Christ disfellowship Judas Iscariot?
No !
Judas Iscariot disfellowship himself.

You want your family members to tow your own line rather than exercise their fundamental right to freedom of religion and worship.
.Are you a bigot?
Yes!!

Over 160 threads to complain & WAIL about imperfect humans serving Jehovah their God.
The screenshot aptly describes you, WAILER.
Rott WAILER playing the victim card & DECEIVING himself.

rottennaija:
Today 7th October, 2021

This has been my approach. Today, out of many siblings, 3 are out, 1 is physically in mentally out in many ways. Sadly, I lost my mum. I never got to present my findings to her and though at the time I felt it was important, it did not matter anymore. Our relationship had improved greatly over the years.

She was this woman that would engage me in conversion about religion, we would discuss at learnt and I believe she had picked one or two things from the conversion as I did similarly. There was no bad blood anymore, no threat, just normal conversation that when we become exhausted, would simply rest. She was the opposite of my dad who had learnt to avoid as much as possibly any conversation that included the bible or religion. But it is all fine.

It does not matter anymore. I do not think there is any gain in presenting my printed works to him, it was meant for him and my mum. A lot has changed over the years and losing his wife of more than 3 decades, he finds comfort in his beliefs irrespective of how wrong they may be. Advanced in age and having spent a greater part of his adult life in this belief and religion, I would be creating a serious cognitive dissonance in him and I belief he had experience it at some point during the times we speak. It would be highly insensitive on my own part.

Because if it turns out his beliefs and religion is not true, then he would have some tough realities to face. First, he will have to admit the entire community of religion is wrong, this would tap into some hefty issues around trust, loyalty and credibility. Second, he will have to admit his behavior towards those of other religion was unjustified. This would have a big impact on his self-image, especially considering his belief that it was the best decision joining this religion as a youth when his contemporaries did not. And thirdly, he likely faces going through the same persecution, shunning, contempt from believing members as he had done to others, which taps into his idea of safety and security.

These tough realities can be intensely threatening but the threats goes away if there are some ways of preserving his beliefs.
rqottennaija, 2021

Hmm! Well done man.... sorry for the lost of your mother....

May the Lord strengthen you. Many more will still be delivered...in Jesus name, amen!

"...if it turns out his beliefs and religion is not true, then he would have some tough realities to face. First, he will have to admit the entire community of religion is wrong, this would tap into some..."

The above statement is true about MaxInDhouse...I guess...

It's not easy actually....
but one thing I have noticed with this God is His ability to get sincere seekers out to the right relationship with Him

no matter where they are!

Janosky:

Hebrews 11:25, Moses believed in JEHOVAH'S organization and never left.
I dorff my heart for your Dad jare.
Matthew 24:13, JEHOVAH & his son won't forget his love for Jehovah God.
Faithless son

Did Jesus Christ disfellowship Judas Iscariot?
No !
Judas Iscariot disfellowship himself.

You want your family members to tow your own line rather than exercise their fundamental right to freedom of religion and worship.
.Are you a bigot?
Yes!!

Over 160 threads to complain & WAIL about imperfect humans serving Jehovah their God.
The screenshot aptly describes you, WAILER.
Rott WAILER playing the victim card & DECEIVING himself.

He is set free, but somebody seems not to be happy with this...

Rottennaija, don't give up on trying to save your Dad please. Imagine how many you will save from the cult if you save that one man who has led them for so long.

Sorry you lost your mum but keep up the fight abeg! These evil corporations/cults that fleece people in the name of God represent the very world Jesus Christ warned against. They are the thief that steal from God's sheep, kill their minds using lies and deceit, and destroy their very chances at Heaven, in the name of God all the while pretending to be of God.

Janosky:

Hebrews 11:25, Moses believed in JEHOVAH'S organization and never left.
I dorff my heart for your Dad jare.
Matthew 24:13, JEHOVAH & his son won't forget his love for Jehovah God.
Faithless son

Did Jesus Christ disfellowship Judas Iscariot?
No !
Judas Iscariot disfellowship himself.

You want your family members to tow your own line rather than exercise their fundamental right to freedom of religion and worship.
.Are you a bigot?
Yes!!

Over 160 threads to complain & WAIL about imperfect humans serving Jehovah their God.
The screenshot aptly describes you, WAILER.
Rott WAILER playing the victim card & DECEIVING himself.

As usual, you are always welcome to my thread.

Kobojunkie:
Rottennaija, don't give up on trying to save your Dad please. Imagine how many you will save from the cult if you save that one man who has led them for so long.

Sorry you lost your mum but keep up the fight abeg! These evil corporations/cults that fleece people in the name of God represent the very world Jesus Christ warned against. They are the thief that steal from God's sheep, kill their minds using lies and deceit, and destroy their very chances at Heaven, in the name of God all the while pretending to be of God.

Continue to console yourself with FALSE claims.
3 doghead slave

KNOWMORE56:


He is set free, but somebody seems not to be happy with this...

The man who lied against Jesus house to house preaching commission of Jesus Christ is set free?

Know nothing yimu
Go and convince him your Jesus is an angel

rottennaija:

As usual, you are always welcome to my thread.

As usual, console yourself WAILING upandan & playing the victim card.

Disciple of Hyemaneus, 1 Timothy 1:20