Good day my fellow nairalanders.

Ever since i was a baby, my family has always had a house help living with us (so far we've had 7 since the mid 90's till now).

One thing that has always been constant is my mother flogging the house helps when they misbehave (in her opinion).

My dad even told me that while i was still a kid my mum would frequently flog the house help that lived with us as at that time very early in the morning (and she was a little girl).

We currently have a househelp living with us. She should be about 13 or 14 years old. She was sent to us from the village. Before now my mum would flog her almost every morning early in the morning (some days i used to wake up to the sound of her flogging the girl). After we talked to her about it severally she reduced the amount of flogging. Right now she still flogs her when she misbehaves but not like before.

The girl in question has done many bad things in the past. Recently she stole my mother's phone and would use it to play games every night (when everyone in the house is asleep) this was during Christmas and she hid it for days. We searched for the phone and couldn't find it. My mum even called her bank to block her account thinking that it was stolen by an outsider. She later got caught playing a video game on the phone at night.

I was even suspected. They thought i had stolen the phone and sold it.

Another thing the girl does is steal meat and food from the pot. Recently she stole some beans and plantain from the pot while it was still boiling. She took some and put it in a nylon and my mum caught her with it (she didn't flog her though).

I personally don't think it is okay for my mum to be flogging another person's child even if the person is under her care and even if she does bad things. Sometimes she uses a standard cane, sometimes she slaps or knocks her, sometimes she uses whatever is in her hand at the moment.

I personally believe scolding her would suffice. I don't feel comfortable with her flogging someone else's child.

What do you guys think? Is it okay to flog your house help? Even when she misbehaves?

I always advice people even if it is kulikuli you can afford daily for your family.. manage the Kuli with your family rather than sending your kids to stay with someone that will make them regret the day they came into this world

Back to the topic..

After reading the script I couldn't help but pity the young girl.. imagine the op pointing out stealing of meat and stealing of phone to play game as a habit that was worth flogging..

Doesn't it mean this girl has been deprived of play time..?? Doesn't it mean she barely has meat in her meal?? For her to result into deeping her hand inside a hot pot just to have a taste of meat and stealing a phone just to play game at night when others are asleep.. hmm

May God deliver her from the family of the op..

For what's money without happiness?
Or hard times without the people you love? - j cole

Hismasterpiece:


She always has meat in her food and eats three times a day. I believe she picked up the habit from me, because i always take meat from the pot after eating and she sees me do it most times.

She goes to school during the week so she has enough playtime.

I didn't say she deserved to be flogged for stealing the phone, read again, i'm actually on her side.

How many times were you flogged for taking meat from the pot??

You said the girl has done many bad things in the past Then you pointed out those habits.. it was an indication that those habits were bad enough to earn her strokes of the Cain.. meaning worth flogging

Let me jejely wait for em elders to cook mouth inside the matter

How come it is always the helps who steal and never children of the house?
Just an excuse they use to justify their wickedness on a helpless human.

Tell your family that I said that they should make sure that househelp is well fed and also well taken care of.

If that girl was well fed, she won't have any business in timing your mother's pot and waiting for the coast to be clear before she lays a vicious ambush to your mother's precious meat

It is very wring to beat yoir househelp/maid. That is physical assault. A househelp is no slave and it's more ideal to enroll them in school, give them medical access e.t.c. They have the full right that we all have.

Irrespective of whatever crime they commit, hand them over to the police.

Hismasterpiece:
Good day my fellow nairalanders.

Ever since i was a baby, my family has always had a house help living with us (so far we've had 7 since the mid 90's till now).

One thing that has always been constant is my mother flogging the house helps when they misbehave (in her opinion).

My dad even told me that while i was still a kid my mum would frequently flog the house help that lived with us as at that time very early in the morning (and she was a little girl).

We currently have a househelp living with us. She should be about 13 or 14 years old. She was sent to us from the village. Before now my mum would flog her almost every morning early in the morning (some days i used to wake up to the sound of her flogging the girl). After we talked to her about it severally she reduced the amount of flogging. Right now she still flogs her when she misbehaves but not like before.

The girl in question has done many bad things in the past. Recently she stole my mother's phone and would use it to play games every night (when everyone in the house is asleep) this was during Christmas and she hid it for days. We searched for the phone and couldn't find it. My mum even called her bank to block her account thinking that it was stolen by an outsider. She later got caught playing a video game on the phone at night.

I was even suspected. They thought i had stolen the phone and sold it.

Another thing the girl does is steal meat and food from the pot. Recently she stole some beans and plantain from the pot while it was still boiling. She took some and put it in a nylon and my mum caught her with it (she didn't flog her though).

I personally don't think it is okay for my mum to be flogging another person's child even if the person is under her care and even if she does bad things. Sometimes she uses a standard cane, sometimes she slaps or knocks her, sometimes she uses whatever is in her hand at the moment.

I personally believe scolding her would suffice. I don't feel comfortable with her flogging someone else's child.

What do you guys think? Is it okay to flog your house help? Even when she misbehaves?

u can't tell her but u are telling us.

will telling us make her stop till she pour hot water in her eyes?

DaddyRochie1642:
Tell your family that I said that they should make sure that househelp is well fed and also well taken care of.

If that girl was well fed, she won't any business in timing your mother's pot and waiting for the coast to be clear before she lays a vicious ambush to your mother's meat

You're right also but some humans are naturally greedy and wicked. Recently, a very close friend of mine was narrating how their house maid did some terrible things meanwhile she was never beaten, nor maltreated. She had access to the kitchen, sitting room e.t.c.

She was just like a member of the family. During the BBNaija show she would watch it till midnight and was very free to do things. This is someone that they wanted to sponsor to the University. I must also say she had a well furnished room to herself (A.C inclusive).

See, some housemaid are just greedy, wicked and selfish.

Nuelito:
Let me jejely wait for em elders to cook mouth inside the matter

So you don't trust the judgment of your parent(mum)? There is nothing wrong in flogging a child who have a predilection for stubborn stupidity. Does it mean your parents don't beat you when you and your siblings misbehave? If she doesn't but is always beating the house help, then she is a pitiful piece of motherhood.

Final take: there is nothing wrong in beating a child (biological or foster) provided it's not excessive and comes from a place of love, correction and wellbeing.

A little flogging to correct the child is ok but it should be in moderation. However, if she can not tolerate the girl she should be returned to her parents.

Beat? With which heart? Wickedness or correct?

Wickedness - no
Correction. - yes

But the case you stated here is that of wickedness. Very wrong very wrong!!

No matter how poor the house help is, always treat them as your own blood. No all your kids behaviours are goods but you are still friends with them, likewise do same to those house helps. They are not slaves, na condition make crayfish bend.

Gentlerespect76:


So you don't trust the judgment of your parent(mum)? There is nothing wrong in flogging a child who have a predilection for stubborn stupidity. Does it mean your parents don't beat you when you and your siblings misbehave? If she doesn't but is always beating the house help, then she is a pitiful piece of motherhood.

Final take: there is nothing wrong in beating a child (biological or foster) provided it's not excessive and comes from a place of love, correction and wellbeing.

maximum respect for you boss...you are so on point.

My mouth no fit talk the kin flogging wey my parents being gimme back then......they flogged me more than my teachers then...but it's all good...like you already stated....it's all for correction cos it was minimal but my own was on a regular cos I dey stubborn.

Bornsinner7:
I always advice people even if it is kulikuli you can afford daily for your family.. manage the Kuli with your family rather than sending your kids to stay with someone that will make them regret the day they came into this world

Back to the topic..

After reading the script I couldn't help but pity the young girl.. imagine the op pointing out stealing of meat and stealing of phone to play game as a habit that was worth flogging..

Doesn't it mean this girl has been deprived of play time..?? Doesn't it mean she barely has meat in her meal?? For her to result into deeping her hand inside a hot pot just to have a taste of meat and stealing a phone just to play game at night when others are asleep.. hmm

May God deliver her from the family of the op..

For what's money without happiness?
Or hard times without the people you love? - j cole

She always has meat in her food and eats three times a day. I believe she picked up the habit from me, because i always take meat from the pot after eating and she sees me do it most times.

She goes to school during the week so she has enough playtime.

I didn't say she deserved to be flogged for stealing the phone, read again, i'm actually on her side.

DaddyRochie1642:
Tell your family that I said that they should make sure that househelp is well fed and also well taken care of.

If that girl was well fed, she won't any business in timing your mother's pot and waiting for the coast to be clear before she lays a vicious ambush to your mother's precious meat

Lol. She eats thrice a day. Infact the way she looked when she first came and the way she looks now is very different because before she wasn't feeding well and now is being fed well.

She eats meat when we all eat meat.

MufasaLion:
It is very wring to beat yoir househelp/maid. That is physical assault. A househelp is no slave and it's more ideal to enroll them in school, give them medical access e.t.c. They have the full right that we all have.

Irrespective of whatever crime they commit, hand them over to the police.

She attends school and has access to good medical care just as the rest of the family.

Lol... how do you expect us to hand over a 13 year old girl to the poilce?

I'm not in support of the beating by the way and i mentioned that in the post. I've talked to my mother about it and the answer she always gives me is that she has the right to flog her because she lives under her roof.

house10s:
u can't tell her but u are telling us.

will telling us make her stop till she pour hot water in her eyes?

I've talked to her about it severally. Infact she doesn't flog her like she used to before and that's because i've talked to her.

I still talk to her till now and she remains adamant about it saying that as long as the girl lives under her roof she has the right to flog her.

Hismasterpiece:


I've talked to her about it severally. Infact she doesn't flog her like she used to before and that's because i've talked to her.

I still talk to her till now and she remains adamant about it saying that as long as the girl lives under her roof she has the right to flog her.

does she flog u like she flogs d house help if no then ur mum is not a nice person simple as that.

but if she flogs u also like she flogs d house help una wahala b dat

house10s:


does she flog u like she flogs d house help if no then ur mum is not a nice person simple as that.

but if she flogs u also like she flogs d house help una wahala b dat

Lol... i'm 22 years old, 6 ft 2, 115 kg. How do you expect my mum to flog me like she does the girl?

It's not wrong to beat a house help, if she misbehave, you correct (that correction doesn't always have to involve beating)...

But if I understand your write up, I think your mother has gone too far...

The girl steals meat and food, NOT MONEY, which goes to show that she's not satisfied with the ration she's given, to prove that she does it out of extreme hunger, she took food from a boiling pot!! Despite the risk of getting her hands burnt, that in my opinion deserves a serious scolding and nothing more...

On the other hand, she stole a phone and kept it for days, that one deserve proper lashing ....

But OP, does your mother flog her own children when they do something wrong as frequently as she flogs her maid?? If the answer to this is no, hmnmmm.... She honestly will need to reconsider her actions o, cause there's a very thin line between correction through beating and wickedness

Hismasterpiece:


She attends school and has access to good medical care just as the rest of the family.

Lol... how do you expect us to hand over a 13 year old girl to the poilce?

I'm not in support of the beating by the way and i mentioned that in the post. I've talked to my mother about it and the answer she always gives me is that she has the right to flog her because she lives under her roof.

You can hand her over to the police if she's committed offences that would warrant such or better still send her back to her parents. There are many ways to punish kids like her without beating.

I pity your mom. She should better stop before it goes south. Was it nit recently that a woman was arrested for physical abuse on her maid. They've denied her bail. You have to speak up for the girl.

If tables were to be turned, she would be with her family enjoying her family companionship without constant beating! The kid never wished to have her life like this. Physical abuse will affect her in many ways. Mentally, emotionally and psychologically.

Hismasterpiece:
Good day my fellow nairalanders.

Ever since i was a baby, my family has always had a house help living with us (so far we've had 7 since the mid 90's till now).

One thing that has always been constant is my mother flogging the house helps when they misbehave (in her opinion).

My dad even told me that while i was still a kid my mum would frequently flog the house help that lived with us as at that time very early in the morning (and she was a little girl).

We currently have a househelp living with us. She should be about 13 or 14 years old. She was sent to us from the village. Before now my mum would flog her almost every morning early in the morning (some days i used to wake up to the sound of her flogging the girl). After we talked to her about it severally she reduced the amount of flogging. Right now she still flogs her when she misbehaves but not like before.

The girl in question has done many bad things in the past. Recently she stole my mother's phone and would use it to play games every night (when everyone in the house is asleep) this was during Christmas and she hid it for days. We searched for the phone and couldn't find it. My mum even called her bank to block her account thinking that it was stolen by an outsider. She later got caught playing a video game on the phone at night.

I was even suspected. They thought i had stolen the phone and sold it.

Another thing the girl does is steal meat and food from the pot. Recently she stole some beans and plantain from the pot while it was still boiling. She took some and put it in a nylon and my mum caught her with it (she didn't flog her though).

I personally don't think it is okay for my mum to be flogging another person's child even if the person is under her care and even if she does bad things. Sometimes she uses a standard cane, sometimes she slaps or knocks her, sometimes she uses whatever is in her hand at the moment.

I personally believe scolding her would suffice. I don't feel comfortable with her flogging someone else's child.

What do you guys think? Is it okay to flog your house help? Even when she misbehaves?

If my own child steals anything i can correct him/her the first time with a warning of what is to come another time. If I catch d same child stealing again, I go discipline am. Now please note that I have kids, so I am not giving theories. How can a whole phone be lost in a house and one child is using it to play game, my child dare not attempt it.

By the way, house maids is a glorified form of slavery, qed. It's the irresponsibility of our society that allows this, kids should either be adopted and put in a foster care program not made child laborers in anyone's house, my 2kobo.

Hismasterpiece:


Lol... i'm 22 years old, 6 ft 2, 115 kg. How do you expect my mum to flog me like she does the girl?

does she flog like shes flogging d girl u wen u were in d girls age?

Hismasterpiece:
I personally don't think it is okay for my mum to be flogging another person's child even if the person is under her care and even if she does bad things. Sometimes she uses a standard cane, sometimes she slaps or knocks her, sometimes she uses whatever is in her hand at the moment.

I personally believe scolding her would suffice. I don't feel comfortable with her flogging someone else's child.

What do you guys think? Is it okay to flog your house help? Even when she misbehaves?

1. Your mother is absolutely wrong for flogging that child. If she were wise enough, she would have realized that flogging isn't the right approach to disciplining the gal by now.

2. You say the gal steals food, maybe it is because she is not being fed enough food. If your mother is not willing to give the gal more than she currently does, food portion that is, ask your mother to return the gal to her parents and move on. It is wickedness to flog a person so.

I still can't understand the animosity/anger most Nigerian women feel towards their house-helps. It's like it is hard-wired into their DNA to be mean to their helps.

A lot of these madams will actually start out nice and welcoming to the help, but give it at most 2months and you'll see a notable difference in how they treat them.

And it's always the same excuse when you ask them what happened.
Ether the girl/boy is too stubborn and disrespectful, or they've become the top suspect for everything that goes missing in the house.

Wonderful...

Favfables:
It's not wrong to beat a house help, if she misbehave, you correct (that correction doesn't always have to involve beating)...

But if I understand your write up, I think your mother has gone too far...

The girl steals meat and food, NOT MONEY, which goes to show that she's not satisfied with the ration she's given, to prove that she does it out of extreme hunger, she took food from a boiling pot!! Despite the risk of getting her hands burnt, that in my opinion deserves a serious scolding and nothing more...

On the other hand, she stole a phone and kept it for days, that one deserve proper lashing ....

But OP, does your mother flog her own children when they do something wrong as frequently as she flogs her maid?? If the answer to this is no, hmnmmm.... She honestly will need to reconsider her actions o, cause there's a very thin line between correction through beating and wickedness

When i was little my mum flogged me for wrongdoing. The girl eats enough sometimes i am the one that serves her food and i always put enough for her

MufasaLion:


You can hand her over to the police if she's committed offences that would warrant such or better still send her back to her parents. There are many ways to punish kids like her without beating.

I pity your mom. She should better stop before it goes south. Was it nit recently that a woman was arrested for physical abuse on her maid. They've denied her bail. You have to speak up for the girl.

If tables were to be turned, she would be with her family enjoying her family companionship without constant beating! The kid never wished to have her life like this. Physical abuse will affect her in many ways. Mentally, emotionally among psychologically.

The flogging she gives her is regular disciplinary flogging. Her case is not like that of that woman that was arrested... its not that bad.

AndSunGorilla:

If my own child steals anything i can correct him/her the first time with a warning of what is to come another time. If I catch d same child stealing again, I go discipline am. Now please note that I have kids, so I am not giving theories. How can a whole phone be lost in a house and one child is using it to play game, my child dare not attempt it.

By the way, house maids is a glorified form of slavery, qed. It's the irresponsibility of our society that allows this, kids should either be adopted and put in a foster care program not made child laborers in anyone's house, my 2kobo.

Abi o... how can a 13 year old girl be used as a maid... you won't find such abroad

house10s:


does she flog like shes flogging d girl u wen u were in d girls age?

Yeah

Kobojunkie:
1. Your mother is absolutely wrong for flogging that child. If she were wise enough, she would have realized that flogging isn't the right approach to disciplining the gal by now.

2. You say the gal steals food, maybe it is because she is not being fed enough food. If your mother is not willing to give the gal more than she currently does, food portion that is, ask your mother to return the gal to her parents and move on. It is wickedness to flog a person so.

She is being fed enough. In fact the way she looked shen she first came and the way she looks now is very different because now she is well fed.

Hismasterpiece:

When i was little my mum flogged me for wrongdoing. The girl eats enough sometimes i am the one that serves her food and i always put enough for her

How exactly do you judge what is enough for the gal? You simply put it in a bowl and conclude it is enough?

Can your mum be bold enough to hire an adult?