Please help a brother, I'll try to make it brief. I got married to someone I don't really love but because of pregnancy.

we met sometime around January, spent the night together around February we didn't have s*x 3nights she stayed, I live in a 1 bedroom apartment with sitting room well arranged, my kitchen was excellent and bathroom was neat. She was like you need to buy a dinning table, chair, she was like if I like her I should come and see her people I told her this is the first time we are staying together please calm down and let the relationship grow, we don't know each other before. I was beginning to like her gradually as we kept intouch. Then we met again March and this time we had s*x.

Though I had another girl whom I really enjoy how we get along well and fun to be with knows me better but because I want to get into a real relationship I want the love between myself and these ladies to grow naturally.

in a week time the girl called me that she's dead I was like what and said she's pregnant. because I don't want people to talk or put my family to shame I started telling my family that I have a girl I like I want her to come visiting that was where I think I made the mistake because she started getting into my family. The other girl knows the pregnant one by name coicidentally their names are the same as she usually call my phone but she would be like just follow your heart and I do like her because I said to myself since am average height I would like to marry a tall lady she's about 6ft, the pregnant girl is same height with me.

April she lost the pregnancy and visited me after. awhile and made me slept with her that the nurse said she wouldn't take in even if I don't use protection because she's not seen her cycle yet and she took in within a month after a miscarriage. I didn't like how everything was going anymore and the likeness I had for her was no more there like before but because she kept saying just go and see my people before the pregnancy would show up I didn't think with my head I just started looking for money here and there. I made wedding cards and day I made it available 2days later she had miscarriage for the second time in less than 2mths.

if I'd known I would have just done an introduction between both families that their daughter is pregnant for me call off the wedding. you wouldn't believe I didn't even know how I got money within a month did white wedding and traditional same day but each day I don't feel happy and we've been quareling and settling each day since February till now, we married barely 2mths now even in our honeymoon she was like she regrets marrying me and I don't feel happy within myself I'm sleeping and thinking, am bathing , working anything am doing I'm thinking like what have I gotten myself into marrying someone we don't love each other. she is like she is sorry for what she said I told her each day that everything happened so fast and I didn't even know how I came this far she said we can learn to love ourselves. I wear my wedding band but I don't feel that marriage spirit I've wanted all my life.

My former girlfriend has blocked me on Facebook, WhatsApp, blacklist my number too but I still uses someone else's phone just go to search and look at her photos but I don't even go through my wife's photo at all. As married couple we barely have fun time or cuddle, fall to each other's body and tickle each other, I do say to her I love her but it's not coming am trying my best it things would work.

She too has said she's getting tired already of the marriage because there's no fun like when we met newly. I don't want to discuss this with any of my family or anyone I know I feel very ashamed of myself already. All the plans have got for my future I think of them and see myself not getting there anymore because have just slowed myself down.

Please I need your advice am eating but ematiating everyday, I look sick because am thinking too much. I don't have peace

You weren't meant to marry each other. No other option apart from divorce

Give it time. The deed has been done.

One of the major reason why most marriages break up is when the couple stops doing exactly what they used to do that ignited the relationship during courtship

Op, perhaps,you should go back to the drawing board and start thinking about how to make things right.. Because the deed has all been done...No reasonable person would advise you to divorce your wife . If she tire you,na only you go do wetin fit you

This your case strong gan o, even the elders are in confusional conference nawa-nawa.

Every time, sex sex, do you people even do blood test before going into a relationship?

What if the girl you're having sex with is a carrier?

Anyways, the Bible says who God has joined together, let no one out asunder.

When you guys were rocking yourselves, we no hear words.

Better go do check up with your sweetheart.

I never saw myself never ever in my life marrying and having a divorce or not loving me wife and this is happening now .

Am worried my villagers , family , friends , colleagues at work what all would say .
A whole me

JaneYave:
Give it time. The deed has been done.

Am the OCD kind of person but this my marriage made me a schatterbrain .
I know am O+ve and AA when she was pregnant I just had a dear ears and didn't bother to go for any test because she said she's same as me too

Olaoluwa112:
Every time, sex sex, do you people even do blood test before going into a relationship?

What if the girl you're having sex with is a carrier?

Anyways, the Bible says who God has joined together, let no one out asunder.

When you guys were rocking yourselves, we no hear words.

Better go do check up with your sweetheart.

I took out my time to go through your story twice. Here are my assertions;

1. Did you find out the cause of the miscarriages?

2. The second pregnancy wasn't yours.

3. She was already pregnant before forcing you to sleep her without protection.

4. During honeymoon, she said she regretted marrying you. She was honest.
Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh.

5. You married her out of pity. The pity was out of her evil manipulations against you.

6. 98.353% of men married Nigerian girls are not happy with their marriage. Most are living in denial. You're one of the few to speak up.

7. Don't trade your peace of mind for anything.. be it marriage or whatever.

Savloon:

Please I need your advice am eating but ematiating everyday, I look sick because am thinking too much. I don't have peace

You look sick ke? You think marrying the other lady will make you well? Don't even think about it.

The issue here is that you weren't mentally prepared for marriage. That's it. There's absolutely no reason to blame that woman in your write-up. You tried so hard to find a fault but couldn't see any. You had sex...she had miscarriage...she met your family, you want 6ft.. yhen yhen yhen...! So?? Who should she have met? Your exes??

Abeg abeg, take responsibility, make your marriage work and stop mastu.rbating with your ex's photos! Your marriage won't work if you don't take responsibility! And that includes creating the fun you want! Dem no dey give fun for registry You have to create that fun or keep complaining and, by the way, marriage is not an everyday fun affair - if this is the idea of marriage in your head, omo your breakup with her or any other woman on earth is inevitable!

Thanks so much for the advice God bless you

Sonnobax15:

One of the major reason why most marriages break up is when the couple stops doing exactly what they used to do that ignited the relationship during courtship

Op, perhaps,you should go back to the drawing board and start thinking about how to make things right.. Because the deed has all been done...No reasonable person would advise you to divorce your wife . If she tire you,na only you go do wetin fit you

I don't love my ex, but when I see tall ladies like her, clothes on dommies I just imagine her. You wouldn't believe am still surprised someone I met around February we are married around the 5thonth around and now we are bother seeing faults on each other everyday getting tired .

Am so happy for the advice you gave, thank you.

Tenkobos:
The first year in a marriage is usually difficult because that's when you will learn to drop some "I" and pick several "we".

It's also the time to fight for the position of the head of the house.

Living with a woman for the first time is not easy.

And this time, she's pregnant.

Pregnant women are usually difficult to stay with if you're not matured emotionally.

My point here is that the woman might be a good woman but because you're living with her for the first time and she's pregnant could be the reason for all the problems you are seeing.

Advise?


You're a married man now, forget all your EXs and concentrate on your wife. If you love your ex like you claim then I don't see why you got involved with this one.

You've a wife now and she's yours forever, love her right, treat her well and watch her become a different person.

People need to learn to decide early on if they want to be with the person they're dating before a pregnancy comes in.

A pregnancy blindsides.

For everyday your relationship goes on, ask yourself, do I love this person? Will I enjoy being with them forever?

Very important.

*******************
That being said. You weren't under duress when you married her.

Regardless of the circumstances, you made a choice.

What you need is a psychological shift.

Realise and accept that you're married to her, and you're not getting out.

There must have been some positives that fuelled your decision to proceed with the marriage on the two occasions before the actual marriage.

Focus on that, and make the marriage work.

No I can't go back to my ex because she'll see me as a weakling, she's blocked me everywhere.

But your very right I just need to love my wife and take care of her no going back.

Am glad I let these words out my mind and head honestly I feel relieved talking to you all

Acidosis:


You look sick ke? You think marrying the other lady will make you well? Don't even think about it.

The issue here is that you weren't mentally prepared for marriage. That's it. There's absolutely no reason to blame that woman in your write-up. You tried so hard to find a fault but couldn't see any. You had sex...she had miscarriage...she met your family, you want 6ft.. yhen yhen yhen...! So?? Who should she have met? Your exes??

Abeg abeg, take responsibility, make your marriage work and stop mastu.rbating with your ex's photos! Your marriage won't work if you won't take responsibility! And that includes creating the fun you want! Dem no dey give fun for registry You have to create that fun or keep complaining and, by the way, marriage is not an everyday fun affair - if this is the idea of marriage in your head, omo your breakup with her or any other woman on earth is inevitable!

First miscarriage was around April and second was 2days after our marriage invitation shared and then she was with my mum we felt it was the running around for the marriage .

We barely sleep together now even . Today we laugh next minute is quareling and not talking to each other

Davash222:
I took out my time to go through your story twice. Here are my assertions;

1. Did you find out the cause of the miscarriages?

2. The second pregnancy wasn't yours.

3. She was already pregnant before forcing you to sleep her without protection.

4. During honeymoon, she said she regretted marrying you. She was honest.
Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh.

5. You married her out of pity. The pity was out of her evil manipulations against you.

6. 98.353% of men married Nigerian girls are not happy with their marriage. Most are living in denial. You're one of the few to speak up.

7. Don't trade your peace of mind for anything.. be it marriage or whatever.

Savloon:
First miscarriage was around April and second was 2days after our marriage invitation shared and then she was with my mum we felt it was the running around for the marriage .

We barely sleep together now even . Today we laugh next minute is quareling and not talking to each other

Nawao

Marriage no be anybody mate.

Guy talk to married people. Aged married people who have stayed like 30+ to 50+ in marriage those are the real marriage counselors not all this unmarried, babymamas and papas, divorced, folks here on nairaland

All I say to married people is goodluck because I know they will need it. Your own luck didn't work out so sorry but no sorry. You are a big fool for letting her fool you with fake pregnancies. Now that she is in, she too has realized that you are not enough for her. If she is not fuccking outside already then she will start soon so maybe your next thread will be "my wife gives me STDs".

All these paid threads are something else.

Hmmmmm....sometimes I look around me and wonder where people get their boldness from. You mean you boldly married someone you barely knew! It is well....and here I am running from someone I've known for 2years! Honestly, sometimes I envy the boldness....the nothing dey happen attitude with which you contract your life to someone else. It is well.


Assually, you don enter am. Just exercise patience and see where time takes you. Epele.

This is HELL on Earth.

Woman. I regret marrying you out of many suitors that I had.......

Man. As a matter of fact you are d worst thing that has happened to me......

If those words or something like this has not been said in marriage just know that d couple re still in pre marriage stage.

All these said doesn't mean they want out!

Simp thread today na back to back..
And their kin story dey very annoying...

Like you people saw all the red flags and went ahead with it..
Like that guy that posted in the morning, I just wish to meet both of you offline so I can flog sense Into your coconut heads

Savloon:
I don't love my ex, but when I see tall ladies like her, clothes on dommies I just imagine her. You wouldn't believe am still surprised someone I met around February we are married around the 5thonth around and now we are bother seeing faults on each other everyday getting tired .

Am so happy for the advice you gave, thank you.

Bros you weren't matured enough to marry when u did.
Marriage is for men not boys and the messed up world of ours is fooling boys that access to money and a penis makes a man

Savloon:
No I can't go back to my ex because she'll see me as a weakling, she's blocked me everywhere.

But your very right I just need to love my wife and take care of her no going back.

Am glad I let these words out my mind and head honestly I feel relieved talking to you all

Nice one bro !!

sim37:
Woman. I regret marrying you out of many suitors that I had.......

Man. As a matter of fact you are d worst thing that has happened to me......

If those words or something like this has not been said in marriage just know that d couple re still in pre marriage stage.

All these said doesn't mean they want out!

These are strong words but I understand your point.

The girl trapped you with fake pregnancy.

Divorce her on the grounds that she fraudulently trapped and forced you into the marriage.

But next time don't f¥ck anyhow again.

Am scared bro, what about after doing that and tomorrow something strange happens to me ( something in my mind tells me that walking to the alter and making vow there and now wanting out is very wrong before God and that no matter what I should manage my. Home )

cybersoldiers:
The girl trapped you with fake pregnancy.

Divorce her on the grounds that she fraudulently trapped and forced you into the marriage.

But next time don't f¥ck anyhow again.

Davash222:

Nawao

Marriage no be anybody mate.

LWKMD!

fykes:


Bros you weren't matured enough to marry when u did.
Marriage is for men not boys and the messed up world of ours is fooling boys that access to money and a penis makes a man