fearlessmum:
Good evening all, I have been a guest of this forum for some years now, I
decided to register after reading a story shared yesterday by NPTJ to also share
mine and asked for advice as i am really confused right now.
Although my own case is different as i am legally married.
My husband and I have been married for five years now with two wonderful
kids.
Aside the reason for this thread, He's a very good husband and father to our
kids.
The issue is , he doesn't want me to go to the village with the children that
automatically means I can't go as I'm still breastfeeding our second child , I
cannot leave him and travel as he's not even up to one year.
My husband and my parents stays in different states. We went to the village
last year July and there's no plan of going this year, whenever I raise discussion about the issue he
simply replied that we'll go when there's a need for us to go.
I hardly go for any function in the village except it directly involves my parents.
This has brought a lot of issues between my nuclear and my extended families.
It wasn't like this when we married newly, we do visits them then and even go
during Christmas holidays but all that changed when we had our first child, he
feels we can't take the child to the village so that "village people" will not
attack him.
We've quarrelled about this severally yet nothing changes, I am tired of arguing
about this .
Please married folks, am I suppose to abandoned my extended family just
because I am married? Please I need matured advice before I do something
that I will regret.
Is my husband right on this ? has anyone been in my position, please help me.

fearlessmum:
Good evening all, I have been a guest of this forum for some years now, I
decided to register after reading a story shared yesterday by NPTJ to also share
mine and asked for advice as i am really confused right now.
Although my own case is different as i am legally married.
My husband and I have been married for five years now with two wonderful
kids.
Aside the reason for this thread, He's a very good husband and father to our
kids.
The issue is , he doesn't want me to go to the village with the children that
automatically means I can't go as I'm still breastfeeding our second child , I
cannot leave him and travel as he's not even up to one year.
My husband and my parents stays in different states. We went to the village
last year July and there's no plan of going this year, whenever I raise discussion about the issue he
simply replied that we'll go when there's a need for us to go.
I hardly go for any function in the village except it directly involves my parents.
This has brought a lot of issues between my nuclear and my extended families.
It wasn't like this when we married newly, we do visits them then and even go
during Christmas holidays but all that changed when we had our first child, he
feels we can't take the child to the village so that "village people" will not
attack him.
We've quarrelled about this severally yet nothing changes, I am tired of arguing
about this .
Please married folks, am I suppose to abandoned my extended family just
because I am married? Please I need matured advice before I do something
that I will regret.
Is my husband right on this ? has anyone been in my position, please help me.

fearlessmum:
This has brought a lot of issues between my nuclear and my extended families.
It wasn't like this when we married newly, we do visits them then and even go
during Christmas holidays but all that changed when we had our first child, he feels we can't take the child to the village so that "village people" will not attack him.
We've quarrelled about this severally yet nothing changes, I am tired of arguing about this .
Please married folks, am I suppose to abandoned my extended family just because I am married? Please I need matured advice before I do something that I will regret.
Is my husband right on this ? has anyone been in my position, please help me.

cybersoldiers:


Madam, please your husband should be your everything.

You're to be under the authority of your husband ma.

Please when you're married, you're married and a family.


Your husband first.

SanctifiedSista:
Please submit to your husband and obey his instructions...stop giving him issues or nagging him...simply take it to God in prayers and watch as ur husband changes his language
Trust GOD and pray...

Bola146:
I don't know why you are willing to go to the village? Is your concubine there? Na by force to attend village ceremonies? He is your husband! You knew him before you got married to him. You should let your parents understand why your husband is not allowing you to attend functioning.

Bola146:
I don't know why you are willing to go to the village? Is your concubine there? Na by force to attend village ceremonies? He is your husband! You knew him before you got married to him. You should let your parents understand why your husband is not allowing you to attend functioning.

SanctifiedSista:


Please submit to your husband and obey his instructions...stop giving him issues or nagging him...simply take it to God in prayers and watch as ur husband changes his language
Trust GOD and pray...

fearlessmum:

Concubine? really
Concubine? really, I hope you don't visit your parents. Thank you for your advice

SanctifiedSista:


Please submit to your husband and obey his instructions...stop giving him issues or nagging him...simply take it to God in prayers and watch as ur husband changes his language
Trust GOD and pray...

cybersoldiers:

Madam, please your husband should be your everything.
You're to be under the authority of your husband ma.
Please when you're married, you're married and a family.

Your husband first.

fearlessmum:

With this your mentality I don't think you're married

Bornbiafra:
Focus on your family and leave village people and your extended, nuclear family alone...

Be at peace with his decision and enjoy your home ....

People are avoiding village and village people but you are running to them..

Receive sense and build your home with your husband...that's the only family that you need.since he usually support you when it's concern your parents

fearlessmum:

So because I'm married I s should forget about my extended family right? I can't even visit them so as to build my home

Bola146:
I don't know why you are willing to go to the village? Is your concubine there? Na by force to attend village ceremonies? He is your husband! He knows better! Don't destroy your happy home because of village party. You knew him before you got married to him. You should let your parents understand why your husband is not allowing you to attend functioning. Don't compare your home with others, fingers are not equal, what you can do in one family, you can't dare to do it in another family. Face your darling husband and beg him to forgive you of nagging, promise him your love.


Modified; You knew this before marrying him. You were expecting me to say you should leave him or continue giving him wahala please when next there is a village party, just go with letting your husband to know or leave him and go and marry someone who will allow you to attend village ceremonies, please prove your name as fearless mom Shalom

mariahAngel:


So, she has no rights to take her children to go see their grandparents -her parents?

Righteousness2:
There is no reason to be Confused.

Listen to your Hubby. He is your Husband and the Father to your kids.
The days are damn Evil , terrible and Wicked. He is trying not to Expose the kids to Unnecessary issues and Prayer points.

Your People can visit you in your home till when He deems it fit to take the kids to the village.

fearlessmum:
Good evening all, I have been a guest of this forum for some years now, I
decided to register after reading a story shared yesterday by NPTJ to also share
mine and asked for advice as i am really confused right now.
Although my own case is different as i am legally married.
My husband and I have been married for five years now with two wonderful
kids.
Aside the reason for this thread, He's a very good husband and father to our
kids.
The issue is , he doesn't want me to go to the village with the children that
automatically means I can't go as I'm still breastfeeding our second child , I
cannot leave him and travel as he's not even up to one year.
My husband and my parents stays in different states. We went to the village
last year July and there's no plan of going this year, whenever I raise discussion about the issue he
simply replied that we'll go when there's a need for us to go.
I hardly go for any function in the village except it directly involves my parents.
This has brought a lot of issues between my nuclear and my extended families.
It wasn't like this when we married newly, we do visits them then and even go
during Christmas holidays but all that changed when we had our first child, he
feels we can't take the child to the village so that "village people" will not
attack him.
We've quarrelled about this severally yet nothing changes, I am tired of arguing
about this .
Please married folks, am I suppose to abandoned my extended family just
because I am married? Please I need matured advice before I do something
that I will regret.
Is my husband right on this ? has anyone been in my position, please help me.

fearlessmum:

He wasn't like this when we married newly, he changed after we had our first child.
Anyways, thank you

techWriter3:
Concubine? really, I chance you haven't trip your children. congratulate you for your tips

techWriter3:
Concubine? really, I chance you haven't trip your children. congratulate you for your tips

Bola146:


Okay madam, he is human being, just continue to care for him and pray to God what you want him to do. He can't conclude that you shouldn't go, he will definitely allow you one day, it's a matter of time and how you service him with good sex and good foods. He will just tell you one day to make a wish which he will grant you. You know how to do that

fearlessmum:

Iam very submissive to my husband and I don't nag.
But is it wrong for me to visits my parents?

mariahAngel:


So, she has no rights to take her children to go see their grandparents -her parents?

Omakraid:
I think your husband doesn't want you to be to frequent in the village. Trust me your nuclear family are happy with you and all that has to do with you whenever they see you but you may not be able to genuinely say that about your extended family and other villagers.. You did not see anything wrong with it because you grew there and actually there's nothing wrong with it. My people also say "if you have a bountiful harvest of yam, you don't expose it to the world while you eat".
Myself and my siblings didn't grow up in the village but had life changing experiences because our parents who grew up there took us there which my mum deeply regretted as she knew what she nursed after then. Though my mum is currently there but I'd prefer she comes down to Abuja than I go down there.
Sit with your husband, let him tell you why he insists. He might have experiences he has never shared with you or some other reasons. Get to know his reason and above all, keep your Home because daddy and mummy kept theirs.

SanctifiedSista:



It is not wrong but u are already speaking with them everyday..besides u visited them last year... lol, u are seriously a baby..am serious though, don't bring it up again unless Ur man will tink u don't know how to stay one place