I am bringing this topic here to see if I can get any good advise from youths of the same generation.

My son returned from schooling abroad two years ago and after completing his NYSC, has been trying to get a job. None has been forthcoming but he tries to keep occupied, trying his hands on different projects. He still lives at home but says that once he is financially stable, he will get his own apartment and move out.

He is generally a calm, law abiding , likeable gentleman until when he recently started bringing home this girl who dresses like a prostitute and who I discovered stays overnight in his room with him. His dad and I have fought him over this subject to no avail. I confronted the girl to tell her I do not feel comfortable with her sleeping overnight in my house especially since I do not know her family and will be held responsible if anything happens to her. She apologized to me and promised not to come to sleep over again. However, I noticed that after that, he started sneaking her in at late hours of the night when he thinks we have gone to bed, sometimes when it is past midnight. He hasn't introduced the girl to us as anything to him even though I have asked him several times what his intentions with this girl is but he will just say she is a friend that makes him happy- that's all.

He told his uncle that he likes the girl. I don't even know what else to do. I have tried talking to him, reasoning with him, but it all falls on his deaf ears. I do not like this girl at all. She comes across to me as a street girl- even though she is generally polite when she meets me at home anytime she comes during the day. I investigated and found out her work place is not far from our house. What I do not like about her is that she dresses, exposing delicate parts of her body and is a chain smoker.

Furthermore, to me, a girl who sleeps out in a mans' parent house, continually disregarding how his parents feel about it, cannot be good news. Once, I caught her almost naked in the night walking along the corridor leading to my sons room. She ran inside his room when she saw me. I was so embarrassed and wondered what if my husband had been the one who ran into her? What kind of thing is this? Only her pant on, breasts bare. It was the following day I traced her to her work place and gently but sharply and firmly told her I do not permit her to sleep over in my house again. His dad also spoke with him. I also spoke to him. Everything has been to no avail.

He still sneaks her in. Or did she jazz him?, Please advise me. Thanks.

Seems your son wants to be independent and live like a married. He should do that in his own house.

Mind your business. Your son is matured enough to chose who to love. Isn't it better you try to know the lady better than just portray her as a prostitute?

How you portray the girl evil without saying anything bad about your son lol

If the girl is a chain smoker it means your son is a chronic smoker

If the girl is a prostitute it means your son is one

If the girl is not responsible for sleeping in a man house, your son is irresponsible for sneaking in a girl in his father's house VERY DISRESPECTFUL

Atleast the girl is working your son isn't working

The problem here is your son maybe you help him get a job and his own apartment

Since he has decided to be useless let him continue



Before you quote me remember The girl won't come to the house if the boy didn't invite her

Bewiseedet:
Mind your business. Your son is matured enough to chose who to love. Isn't it better you try to know the lady better than just portray her as a prostitute?

Who is this one? Mind my business, my own son. Omo, don't listen to this person pls

Bewiseedet:
Mind your business. Your son is matured enough to chose who to love. Isn't it better you try to know the lady better than just portray her as a prostitute?

Try reason all she wrote here na.
When issue come up now his parents will involve.

Unruly7:
How you portray the girl evil without saying anything bad about your son lol

If the girl is a chain smoker it means your son is a chronic smoker

If the girl is a prostitute it means your son is one

If the girl is not responsible for sleeping in a man house, your son is irresponsible for sneaking in a girl in his father's house VERY DISRESPECTFUL

Atleast the girl is working your son isn't working

The problem here is your son maybe you help him get a job and his own apartment

Since he has decided to be useless let him continue

STFU

She go carry bele one day

As long as they’re not disturbing u with ringtone at night, let them be..

What rubbish. You and your husband are too gentle. Since they have refused to listen the next thing is to change it for them especially the girl. Next time you see her in your house use stick pursue am comot. Nonsense

the truth is: she's a friend that makes him happy because she always knows how to make him cum

Bewiseedet:
Mind your business. Your son is matured enough to chose who to love. Isn't it better you try to know the lady better than just portray her as a prostitute?

Wetin you dey talk . Know what better? A girl is parading naked in the corridor in her family house where her husband also lives and you say she should mind her business. It is her house and not her son's house. Infact any girl coming there that doesn't feel she should respect his parents does not deserve to be embraced by them. That girl is a shameless prostitute because if she has any good intentions for the guy she will take his parents discussion with her serious and stop spending the night there.

How old is he? Anyways, that's not necessary as what he needs now is serious dicipline before he lands you into a big trouble or gets himself killed. A girl who smokes is capable of anything.

Now, the house belongs to you, not him. First things first, when he gets back today, tell him to hand over the key to that room because it's the privilege you gave him to have a room to himself that is making him to misbehave. Tell him to move his things out in 1hr and Collect the key from him. Lock up the room!
You need your hubby to join you in carrying out this mission.
This solves the issue of bringing the girl home.
As for where he'll be sleeping, let him be sleeping in the sitting room. People who don't have bedrooms sleep in the parlor. That's his punishment for being stubborn.

Secondly, tell the girl to stop coming to the house. don't just stop her from sleeping ( which is not going to be possible again though). Tell her outrightly. Biko.

Also call your son and warn him of the dangers of dating a girl who smokes. Maybe he's cool with it because he schooled abroad and now has that abroad mentality that smoking is normal. That is abroad. You cant compare a female abroad smoker to a female Nigerian smoker. Just so he knows and doesn't think it's normal here. That girl is rotten.

Disease dey town. Tell him to retract now before he contracts the deadly disease.

This is a very delicate issue, that needs divine wisdom to handle. Firstly, d dad shud be on d fore-front as man nd father of d house. Maybe d dad is too mild nd gentle with d son. my culture 4bids such act. Its wrong 4 a child to be having sex with an unmarried patner under d fathers roof. Its an abormination nd it shows no form of respect. The dad shud man up, with stern warning nd seriousness. He shud call dem in one of d nites, advise nd caution them, explaining d dangers of such act to them. A man must be totally independent b4 thinkin of habouring a female.

Mercychen:
H

Now wey ur fellow woman need help, u don lack words. if na to attack guys nw, u go carry first. Nairaland WITCH

This is a proof that training a child abroad with millions of naira does not guarantee anything.

I see that you are financially capable and have been spoiling your son thus the reason he has enough money to afford a whore_ even when he is jobless.

Since you don't want to go hard on both the girl and your son (option most people would have taken to), use the denial approach.

Warn him to desist from bringing that girl home or you deny him of whatever upkeep money you are giving him that's affording him that whore_

You know for sure that the girl gets paid for every night she stays with your son thus the reason she keeps taking the risk even after you have warned her.

Well I believe ur not his mother... Probably ur his sis or something and u trying to portray what ur parents are experiencing with ur bro... Cos if na naija papa n mama we know em for don change am for both of them... Well u should speak with ur bro.. Tell ur pops to call a fam meeting then invite d Barney, then table the iss there make everybody talk him mind...

Ur son wants freedom, so I will advise u to sit him down again not to stop his relationship but to look for a means to get him an apartment even if it means u n ur husband will foot d bill no problem, bcoz it will reduce d tension at home n finally take responsibility of modifying ur son's behaviour also bcoz it takes two to tango, if d girl lifestyle is questionable dat means dat of ur son is more dan questionable but u are only blaming d girl while leaving ur ill manner son, please don't shift d table.

Chai!!!

Bewiseedet:
Mind your business. Your son is matured enough to chose who to love. Isn't it better you try to know the lady better than just portray her as a prostitute?

SHUT UP THERE!
Thunder fire that your hands for typing this rubbish.

wisemum:
I was so embarrassed and wondered what if my husband had been the one who ran into her? What kind of thing is this? Only her pant on, breasts bare. It was the following day I traced her to her work place and gently but sharply and firmly told her I do not permit her to sleep over in my house again. His dad also spoke with him. I also spoke to him. Everything has been to no avail. He still sneaks her in. Or did she jazz him?, Please advise me. Thanks.

Madam you and your husband complaining has every right to complain.
1. They're his parents and he should be responsible
2. He still stays under their roof, and should abide by their rules.
3. His actions depicts gross irresponsibly despite the grooming and upbringing he was given (judging from the woman's description of him).
4. Her character, behaviours and what she indulges in depicts a typical prostitute. She wears shabby highly provocative dresses that barely covers anything, she visits their son that stays in his parent houses at odd hours despite cautioning both the son and the lady and she smokes. Such personality isn't fit for their son.
5. Their son isn't mature enough to choose in this case. The choice he made for a partner is a total opposite of what aby responsible parent will condone, he needs to be guided so as not to make a grave mistake that will haunt him for the rest of his life.

If I were in your shoes, I'd dig deep to ask my son to tell me more about this strange lady, call the lady and find out more about her. Her family, where she stays, why she's always clinging to my son. What both of them wants from each other. Also, I'd suggest you pray ery much about this. Don't be harsh on both of them.

With the response you get, you will definitely find answers and know the next steps to take. But in whatsoever you do, please, apply wisdom and authority and some punishment by way of deprivation. Deprive your son of somethings he does, some thing you give to him. Eg. Access to your properties such as cars, freedom to leave at anytime and return at anytime he likes, freedom to associate with whosoever he deems fit, stop giving him some funds and also possibly limit his privacy whist still in your house.

Promzy99:
Now wey ur fellow woman need help, u don lack words. if na to attack guys nw, u go carry first. Nairaland WITCH

Who do you this strong thing early momoh?
SMH.

By the way who are you? Please don't mention me again. Biko.

Ma'am your son is the problem here. If he can't listen to you, why blame the girl?
You don't expect the girl to leave your son after he has slept with her, she might be in love with your son.

Drugs killing me softly Lauren hill.

I don't think you are serious to put a stop to it,you are the cause of everything.

Decentdave:
She go carty bele one day

This I can confirm.

Mercychen:


Who do you this strong this early momoh?
SMH.

By the way who are you? Please don't mention me again. Biko.

K

It's the pussuyy at work.

Biko return to her work place and warn her again. Tell her the next time you notice she slept over, you would call the police and ger her arrested as an intruder and report her at her office.She no well at all.

As for your son, start making the house hot for him. If he wants to behave like abroad pikin, he should complete it. At past 18yrs, they are either contributing to the bills in the house or completely moved out. He should be very guided.

Madam, with all this ur narration I'll be blunt, let me say u didn't properly train ur child in the way that will give u peace at ur old age. If you can't control ur own son, u can't control another person's own. Your son disrespected you and his father by going against wot you feel is best for him. But if your son doesn't invite her over or open the gate for the said lady, she won't keep coming. Do your own assignment well and see how things will turn out good.
Also, u can try to be closer to the said lady abit, this will enable you to get a contact of any of her relative, may be if any of her relative talks sense into her head, they may be able to help out positively what you can't do to ur own child. Bible said, "train up a child in the way, he or she will go, by the time they grow up they won't depart from it. Now u want people to help you do wot u neglected to do. Education without moral values is total fruitless effort.

She dey come change oil

A parent that have spoilt their son.