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My Son's Girlfriend Comes To Our House To Sleep Everyday - Family (6) - Nairaland

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Re: My Son's Girlfriend Comes To Our House To Sleep Everyday by SIRRITE: 9:32am On Oct 11, 2021
MIND UR BUSINESS IS ALL U CAN SAY?? WOO THIS GENERATION IS GONE,
AS FOR ME, THE SAID YOUNG MAN IS STILL YET TO BE A RESPONSIBLE YOUNG MAN, HE STILL LIVE WITH HIS PARENTS AND HE IS STILL A CHILD NOT A MAN YET, SO IF HE WANT TO BRING WOMAN TO HIS FATHER'S HOUSE HAS A MAN, IS TO SHOW THEM THAT THIS IS THE LADY AM GETTING MARRIED TO, NOT TO BRING A GIRL TO HIS FATHER'S HOUSE TO FORK, THE GUY LACK RESPECT.

Bewiseedet:
Mind your business. Your son is matured enough to chose who to love. Isn't it better you try to know the lady better than just portray her as a prostitute?
Re: My Son's Girlfriend Comes To Our House To Sleep Everyday by GAZZUZZ(m): 9:32am On Oct 11, 2021
Unruly7:
How you portray the girl evil without saying anything bad about your son lol

If the girl is a chain smoker it means your son is a chronic smoker

If the girl is a prostitute it means your son is one

If the girl is not responsible for sleeping in a man house, your son is irresponsible for sneaking in a girl in his father's house VERY DISRESPECTFUL

Atleast the girl is working your son isn't working

The problem here is your son maybe you help him get a job and his own apartment

Since he has decided to be useless let him continue



Before you quote me remember The girl won't come to the house if the boy didn't invite her


God bless you immediately!

3 Likes

Re: My Son's Girlfriend Comes To Our House To Sleep Everyday by Akalia(m): 9:33am On Oct 11, 2021
mysticgal:


In her house, e be like say your redpill bros did not teach you shame undecided
The Op's grouse here is not the fact that her obviously spoilt brat of a son is bringing a strange girl home and having her pass the night but her issue is the fact that she feels the girl is bad news giving some of the tell tale signs she highlighted.
I think OP should understand that her son is a sexually mature man and his behavior is only normal for any heterosexual male at his age-he craves sexual gratification and unfortunately he is getting it from such a despicable character of a girl.

The OP should just join hands with her husband to have a heart to heart talk with their son. The only problem I see here is a breach of effective communication between the three parties (father, mother, and son).
Re: My Son's Girlfriend Comes To Our House To Sleep Everyday by murphyibiam15(m): 9:33am On Oct 11, 2021
Bewiseedet:
Mind your business. Your son is matured enough to chose who to love. Isn't it better you try to know the lady better than just portray her as a prostitute?
This your mind your business is becoming too stale cheesy, it's her house and her son and therefore her business. Bw how could a living being like you think this way. Nsogbu dịkwa. You Come off as someone who would use her daughter as prostitute to make money
Re: My Son's Girlfriend Comes To Our House To Sleep Everyday by hysteresis: 9:33am On Oct 11, 2021
Bewiseedet:
Mind your business. Your son is matured enough to chose who to love. Isn't it better you try to know the lady better than just portray her as a prostitute?
Who is this compound f.ool?
Re: My Son's Girlfriend Comes To Our House To Sleep Everyday by Kellie069(m): 9:33am On Oct 11, 2021
Person go school for abroad, abroad way e mate de use take level up Yahoo. Direct aza man! E don go waste una money finish, come still de stay una house. Like say dat one nor reach, still de bring girl come house…. Na yeye pikin.
Re: My Son's Girlfriend Comes To Our House To Sleep Everyday by NWABUKA007(m): 9:34am On Oct 11, 2021
wisemum:
I am bringing this topic here to see if I can get any good advise from youths of the same generation.

My son returned from schooling abroad two years ago and after completing his NYSC, has been trying to get a job. None has been forthcoming but he tries to keep occupied, trying his hands on different projects. He still lives at home but says that once he is financially stable, he will get his own apartment and move out.

He is generally a calm, law abiding , likeable gentleman until when he recently started bringing home this girl who dresses like a prostitute and who I discovered stays overnight in his room with him. His dad and I have fought him over this subject to no avail. I confronted the girl to tell her I do not feel comfortable with her sleeping overnight in my house especially since I do not know her family and will be held responsible if anything happens to her. She apologized to me and promised not to come to sleep over again. However, I noticed that after that, he started sneaking her in at late hours of the night when he thinks we have gone to bed, sometimes when it is past midnight. He hasn't introduced the girl to us as anything to him even though I have asked him several times what his intentions with this girl is but he will just say she is a friend that makes him happy- that's all.

He told his uncle that he likes the girl. I don't even know what else to do. I have tried talking to him, reasoning with him, but it all falls on his deaf ears. I do not like this girl at all. She comes across to me as a street girl- even though she is generally polite when she meets me at home anytime she comes during the day. I investigated and found out her work place is not far from our house. What I do not like about her is that she dresses, exposing delicate parts of her body and is a chain smoker.

Furthermore, to me, a girl who sleeps out in a mans' parent house, continually disregarding how his parents feel about it, cannot be good news. Once, I caught her almost naked in the night walking along the corridor leading to my sons room. She ran inside his room when she saw me. I was so embarrassed and wondered what if my husband had been the one who ran into her? What kind of thing is this? Only her pant on, breasts bare. It was the following day I traced her to her work place and gently but sharply and firmly told her I do not permit her to sleep over in my house again. His dad also spoke with him. I also spoke to him. Everything has been to no avail.

He still sneaks her in. Or did she jazz him?, Please advise me. Thanks.

madam this is obviously not good at all

sex is a powerful tool, which when well wielded can cause tons of damage

my candid advise is

(1) prayer

engage in fasting and prayer for your son, he's sleeping with that lady and she has won him over.

and in that instance, word of mouth won't be enough

(2) but for the investment that you and your husband have made on your son
I would have advise you involve the police in this matter

But in order not to infuriate him
stick to number 1

MFM DEY 4 YOU
Re: My Son's Girlfriend Comes To Our House To Sleep Everyday by Blackman101: 9:34am On Oct 11, 2021
if you can send he out of the country to school should be able to get him a self contain apartment not to far from your home.
Re: My Son's Girlfriend Comes To Our House To Sleep Everyday by Nobody: 9:34am On Oct 11, 2021
wisemum:
Please advise me. Thanks.

The girl is bad news. Your son is immature and ruled by his 3rd leg but it's your duty to make sure she doesnt end up his wife or mother of your grand child. You need to sit him down and tell him the qualities he should look for in a woman and the qualities he should avoid. You need to explain to him why these qualites will come back to bite him if he forges ahead with this woman. A woman who disrespects herself, her family and her boyfriends family will eventually disrespect him because she has no self respect.

That said, you son himself has shown he doesnt respect his parents which is a refelction of how he was raised.
Re: My Son's Girlfriend Comes To Our House To Sleep Everyday by AkaraAndBread: 9:34am On Oct 11, 2021
Unruly7:
How you portray the girl evil without saying anything bad about your son lol

If the girl is a chain smoker it means your son is a chronic smoker

If the girl is a prostitute it means your son is one

If the girl is not responsible for sleeping in a man house, your son is irresponsible for sneaking in a girl in his father's house VERY DISRESPECTFUL

Atleast the girl is working your son isn't working

The problem here is your son maybe you help him get a job and his own apartment

Since he has decided to be useless let him continue



Before you quote me remember The girl won't come to the house if the boy didn't invite her


Well said. In every mother's eyes it is the "other person" that is spoiling her child and not vice-versa.

Come and collect your award o jare...

2 Likes

Re: My Son's Girlfriend Comes To Our House To Sleep Everyday by Fisher007: 9:34am On Oct 11, 2021
Mercychen:
How old is he? Anyways, that's not necessary as what he needs now is serious dicipline before he lands you into a big trouble or gets himself killed. A girl who smokes is capable of anything.

Now, the house belongs to you, not him. First things first, when he gets back today, tell him to hand over the key to that room because it's the privilege you gave him to have a room to himself that is making him to misbehave. Tell him to move his things out in 1hr and Collect the key from him. Lock up the room!
You need your hubby to join you in carrying out this mission.
This solves the issue of bringing the girl home.
As for where he'll be sleeping, let him be sleeping in the sitting room. People who don't have bedrooms sleep in the parlor. That's his punishment for being stubborn.

Secondly, tell the girl to stop coming to the house. don't just stop her from sleeping ( which is not going to be possible again though). Tell her outrightly. Biko.

Also call your son and warn him of the dangers of dating a girl who smokes. Maybe he's cool with it because he schooled abroad and now has that abroad mentality that smoking is normal. That is abroad. You cant compare a female abroad smoker to a female Nigerian smoker. Just so he knows and doesn't think it's normal here. That girl is rotten.

Disease dey town. Tell him to retract now before he contracts the deadly disease.

You see your comments depicts an average or typical Nigerian parents. Well I guess your parents were like this so it is transferred aggression.

Instead of you to advice her to dialogue with both of them and try to find a amicable solution. You chose the tryants and oppressors solution. One thing is for sure once that boy gets a good job after the parents followed this your suggestion. You will loose a child. Not because of the girl.

You will loose him because now he has seen is parents for who they truly are.
In Nigeria and commonly Africa most parents are tryant and abusive. They feel they have a leverage and can control you because they provide for their children. Who forced you to have one?

I for once my family and folks know me. I am the untamed. If you like have billions or try to control me because of one small leverage. I will just walk away. You will here nothing from me. I will leave you in your delusion . I did that to several people in my life and I became stronger like a lone wolf ( though you will need a strong and stoic mindset - but overtime you are better off).

What doesn't kill you make you stronger.
Re: My Son's Girlfriend Comes To Our House To Sleep Everyday by Oblongata: 9:35am On Oct 11, 2021
Y’all not acting like real African parents. Am sure you all have American or uk OT. Here in Africa, you stamp your feet and chase that girl outta your house. Get a gatekeeper with strict instructions. Finally, get that boy busy... let him start masters or something, and fast!
Re: My Son's Girlfriend Comes To Our House To Sleep Everyday by daveP(m): 9:36am On Oct 11, 2021
His father needs to take up his place as Man of the house. He has no respect for you both and that's bad. Give him some resistance after words. Else he'd just continue to think there aren't consequences to his unbecoming actions. If he didn't study abroad, im sure the treatment would have been way different. Stop the pampering and either get him a job asap or he has to respect his dad and take this elsewhere.
Re: My Son's Girlfriend Comes To Our House To Sleep Everyday by alizma: 9:36am On Oct 11, 2021
wisemum:
I am bringing this topic here to see if I can get any good advise from youths of the same generation.

My son returned from schooling abroad two years ago and after completing his NYSC, has been trying to get a job. None has been forthcoming but he tries to keep occupied, trying his hands on different projects. He still lives at home but says that once he is financially stable, he will get his own apartment and move out.

He is generally a calm, law abiding , likeable gentleman until when he recently started bringing home this girl who dresses like a prostitute and who I discovered stays overnight in his room with him. His dad and I have fought him over this subject to no avail. I confronted the girl to tell her I do not feel comfortable with her sleeping overnight in my house especially since I do not know her family and will be held responsible if anything happens to her. She apologized to me and promised not to come to sleep over again. However, I noticed that after that, he started sneaking her in at late hours of the night when he thinks we have gone to bed, sometimes when it is past midnight. He hasn't introduced the girl to us as anything to him even though I have asked him several times what his intentions with this girl is but he will just say she is a friend that makes him happy- that's all.

He told his uncle that he likes the girl. I don't even know what else to do. I have tried talking to him, reasoning with him, but it all falls on his deaf ears. I do not like this girl at all. She comes across to me as a street girl- even though she is generally polite when she meets me at home anytime she comes during the day. I investigated and found out her work place is not far from our house. What I do not like about her is that she dresses, exposing delicate parts of her body and is a chain smoker.

Furthermore, to me, a girl who sleeps out in a mans' parent house, continually disregarding how his parents feel about it, cannot be good news. Once, I caught her almost naked in the night walking along the corridor leading to my sons room. She ran inside his room when she saw me. I was so embarrassed and wondered what if my husband had been the one who ran into her? What kind of thing is this? Only her pant on, breasts bare. It was the following day I traced her to her work place and gently but sharply and firmly told her I do not permit her to sleep over in my house again. His dad also spoke with him. I also spoke to him. Everything has been to no avail.

He still sneaks her in. Or did she jazz him?, Please advise me. Thanks.
First of all I will say kudos to you on the way you have handled the situation so far. In addition to this, I will advise you don't relent in your efforts to ensure things are done rightly.
Having said so, I want you to call both your son and the girl and advise both of them at the same time. In as much as you don't pray for evil to befall them, let them know the implications of cohabiting "without" the knowledge and or, agreement of both families. Thereafter, let your husband talk to your son man to man, it is obvious the son in question is above the age that requires the use of cane, therefore at this point, advise that will open his eyes to the kind of future that await a man in the light of different pattern of life styles will be more effective.
You may be wondering why I want you to continue in your matured and cool manner with which you are handling the situation
1. If your son is cool headed yet, has refused to let go of the girl, definitely the girl mean a lot to him, just like he mentioned, "she made him happy". Forcefully taken her out of his life can ruin his life over. I have a cousin with similar experience.
2. You may have to go extra mile to know about the girl's background. Her dressing may not really be the true reflection of her.
3. What if she is your daughter, definitely you won't give up on her until you find solution. You may say she can never be but think of it, your good son bring her into your life so look into her case like she is your daughter.
Finally, I want you to know that most cool headed persons need someone who is a little wild to balance their own nature, don't expect that your son must go and bring 100% coolheaded wife material.
Re: My Son's Girlfriend Comes To Our House To Sleep Everyday by bestdudes: 9:37am On Oct 11, 2021
bigjackass:
What rubbish. You and your husband are too gentle. Since they have refused to listen the next thing is to change it for them especially the girl. Next time you see her in your house use stick pursue am comot. Nonsense
No, you are wrong. What they should do is find an apartment for him, pay 1 year rent and tell him to start fending for himself after that. He is not to come home for any money or stuff like that.

There are ways to really teach stubborn kids lessons without raising you voice. You give them what they want and let them learn from their own mistakes.

If I ever birth a stubborn child... I will let him or her do whatever the furk they want and learn. If it favours them, fine, if it does not, also fine.
Re: My Son's Girlfriend Comes To Our House To Sleep Everyday by trenchmonk(m): 9:38am On Oct 11, 2021
I suspect the girl has accomodation issues or lives far from her place of work. It is most likely a quid pro quo relationship. If you think the girl is irresponsible, You need to accept the fact that your son is equally as irresponsible as she is. It could be that Idleness has taken its toll on him. But I think you should open your arms to the girl and try to establish certain facts. Get her to tell you about herself and family. Once the info she gives checks out, contact her parents and let them know what's going on ( don't issue threats. Just let them know she spends the nights here and you are not in tune with it) Then just let them be. Let him bring her in through the front door and not the sneaky sneaky thing presently going on. Things will sort itself out. Fact is, he is an adult. He owes it to himself to be responsible to both his parents and himself. Pray about it, He will surely come around.

1 Like

Re: My Son's Girlfriend Comes To Our House To Sleep Everyday by biggz82: 9:38am On Oct 11, 2021
Do all you can to send him back abroad to hussle or for more study. Truth be told there are no job here so his continuous stay looking for job is a waste of time.

Both you and the Dad should take a solid stand, anytime you see the girl at night send her away even at night.

Please send the boy back no hope for the young ones here in Nigeria.
Re: My Son's Girlfriend Comes To Our House To Sleep Everyday by Cousin9999: 9:39am On Oct 11, 2021
It sounds like the girl needs a safe place to sleep at night, and your son (since you raised him well) wants to provide that. Try getting to know her instead of making assumptions.

You can either be someone who judges her and possibly mistreats her in a time of need, or someone who helps her go down the right path.

This girl could be the things you fear, but she could also just be someone less fortunate than your family.

Be open-minded, but careful.

Let us know how it works out.
Re: My Son's Girlfriend Comes To Our House To Sleep Everyday by Ellasure: 9:39am On Oct 11, 2021
Madam good day. Your observations and complaints are seen today as almost normal.

Life has changed and sometimes we have to adapt to still retain relevance.
Your son has finished school to university level and come out fine. He still has a good future ahead. He has moved too quickly to the next level without authorisation this is the problem.

Your son may not carry all the blame alone, the Nigerian society is down due to politicians failures in the management of the economy. So, madam don't take this problem personal, it is your son's life that you are worried about but he is the one to live it.

What to do are , apart from the girl dress sense check if she has good education and she only hamstrung by the same Nigerian government problems. Check if she can eventually be a good wife material to your son with some adjustments to satisfy your requirements. You are a woman and I am sure you know better.

Call your son and discuss the implications of this girl coming to sleep with him every day. Find out if he is aware of what he is doing and if he is ready for the responsibilities of such association. Discuss with your husband of the necessary actions that is required to contain the situation. let you and your husband agree on a way forward for the eventuality of these happenings.

God be with you and your family.
Re: My Son's Girlfriend Comes To Our House To Sleep Everyday by ChasinGood(m): 9:40am On Oct 11, 2021
Well, personally,I feel this particular mum/dad are cool headed. My mama for change am for me talk more of my dad who can break your head and not give a damn grin
But seriously ma, you'll need to discipline him with an iron fist else she'll get pregnant for your son and the whole tune will change,you'd be the latest granny in town. Maybe cut his allowances or something but just make it uncomfortable for him.
Shalom!
Re: My Son's Girlfriend Comes To Our House To Sleep Everyday by 30naira: 9:40am On Oct 11, 2021
wisemum:
I am bringing this topic here to see if I can get any good advise from youths of the same generation.

My son returned from schooling abroad two years ago and after completing his NYSC, has been trying to get a job. None has been forthcoming but he tries to keep occupied, trying his hands on different projects. He still lives at home but says that once he is financially stable, he will get his own apartment and move out.

He is generally a calm, law abiding , likeable gentleman until when he recently started bringing home this girl who dresses like a prostitute and who I discovered stays overnight in his room with him. His dad and I have fought him over this subject to no avail. I confronted the girl to tell her I do not feel comfortable with her sleeping overnight in my house especially since I do not know her family and will be held responsible if anything happens to her. She apologized to me and promised not to come to sleep over again. However, I noticed that after that, he started sneaking her in at late hours of the night when he thinks we have gone to bed, sometimes when it is past midnight. He hasn't introduced the girl to us as anything to him even though I have asked him several times what his intentions with this girl is but he will just say she is a friend that makes him happy- that's all.

He told his uncle that he likes the girl. I don't even know what else to do. I have tried talking to him, reasoning with him, but it all falls on his deaf ears. I do not like this girl at all. She comes across to me as a street girl- even though she is generally polite when she meets me at home anytime she comes during the day. I investigated and found out her work place is not far from our house. What I do not like about her is that she dresses, exposing delicate parts of her body and is a chain smoker.

Furthermore, to me, a girl who sleeps out in a mans' parent house, continually disregarding how his parents feel about it, cannot be good news. Once, I caught her almost naked in the night walking along the corridor leading to my sons room. She ran inside his room when she saw me. I was so embarrassed and wondered what if my husband had been the one who ran into her? What kind of thing is this? Only her pant on, breasts bare. It was the following day I traced her to her work place and gently but sharply and firmly told her I do not permit her to sleep over in my house again. His dad also spoke with him. I also spoke to him. Everything has been to no avail.

He still sneaks her in. Or did she jazz him?, Please advise me. Thanks.

There is no jazz here. Your son is enjoying constant knacking. That is what these street girls use to hook young men,nothing else.

Can you trace the girls family? If you can't, tell your son that since he likes the girl, you would like to know her family. Let your son get their contact from her so you can speak.

Explain the situation to her parents and let them know that you do not approve of the entire situation and that you will throw her out if you see her in your house again, no matter the time of the day.

If she sneaks in again, get your husband to throw her out of the house. Create an embarrassing situation for her. She won't come back.

Also warn your son to always use a condom. B Infact beg him because once belle enter, power don change hand. I believe you are a rich family. This girl has calculated your networth, and your son is her long term financial plan.

Mummy, see eh,
Re: My Son's Girlfriend Comes To Our House To Sleep Everyday by Cheeryfeet: 9:41am On Oct 11, 2021
wisemum:
I am bringing this topic here to see if I can get any good advise from youths of the same generation.

My son returned from schooling abroad two years ago and after completing his NYSC, has been trying to get a job. None has been forthcoming but he tries to keep occupied, trying his hands on different projects. He still lives at home but says that once he is financially stable, he will get his own apartment and move out.

He is generally a calm, law abiding , likeable gentleman until when he recently started bringing home this girl who dresses like a prostitute and who I discovered stays overnight in his room with him. His dad and I have fought him over this subject to no avail. I confronted the girl to tell her I do not feel comfortable with her sleeping overnight in my house especially since I do not know her family and will be held responsible if anything happens to her. She apologized to me and promised not to come to sleep over again. However, I noticed that after that, he started sneaking her in at late hours of the night when he thinks we have gone to bed, sometimes when it is past midnight. He hasn't introduced the girl to us as anything to him even though I have asked him several times what his intentions with this girl is but he will just say she is a friend that makes him happy- that's all.

He told his uncle that he likes the girl. I don't even know what else to do. I have tried talking to him, reasoning with him, but it all falls on his deaf ears. I do not like this girl at all. She comes across to me as a street girl- even though she is generally polite when she meets me at home anytime she comes during the day. I investigated and found out her work place is not far from our house. What I do not like about her is that she dresses, exposing delicate parts of her body and is a chain smoker.

Furthermore, to me, a girl who sleeps out in a mans' parent house, continually disregarding how his parents feel about it, cannot be good news. Once, I caught her almost naked in the night walking along the corridor leading to my sons room. She ran inside his room when she saw me. I was so embarrassed and wondered what if my husband had been the one who ran into her? What kind of thing is this? Only her pant on, breasts bare. It was the following day I traced her to her work place and gently but sharply and firmly told her I do not permit her to sleep over in my house again. His dad also spoke with him. I also spoke to him. Everything has been to no avail.

He still sneaks her in. Or did she jazz him?, Please advise me. Thanks.
She did not jazz him, it's a natural connection, positive and negative, like five and six. Calm and wild, balances everything out. The more you fight them, the more they will bond. The only issue I have is him bringing her into your house, maybe you should speak with him in that regard, cause it's disrespect, then again having schooled abroad changes many bthings but what do I know
Re: My Son's Girlfriend Comes To Our House To Sleep Everyday by McStoic(m): 9:42am On Oct 11, 2021
Bewiseedet:
Mind your business. Your son is matured enough to chose who to love. Isn't it better you try to know the lady better than just portray her as a prostitute?

Like seriously?! What a comment! He is a matured son but still lives under the same roof with his parents and still gets fed by them? Oh come on, WHY WOULD ANYONE IN HIS RIGHT SENSES LIVE UNDER THE PARENTS ROOF AND STILL DISRESPECTS THEM?? You are even telling them to mind their business when the young man is still in their house? Haba!

Talking about knowing the lady, how about the lady respecting herself, the parents by dressing well and so make things easier for everyone?! Why would the said girl dress indecently to her boyfriend's house? Who does that? She is the one that needs to change and come up to the parents' level and not the other way round. The mother is not even asking for much other than decency! DON'T EVER TAKE SIDES WITH A RANDOM GIRL AGAINST YOUR PARENTS. IT ALWAYS ENDS IN TEARS.

Bible talks about honouring one's parents. This guy clearly dishonours his parents and the girl is also following suit... Someday you too shall become a parent and understand how unfair your comment it is. Whatever goes around comes around!!
Re: My Son's Girlfriend Comes To Our House To Sleep Everyday by elonmuskbaby: 9:42am On Oct 11, 2021
grandstar:
wisemum
From what I see, your son simply wants to catch with fun with a lady that makes him not feel unduly pressured. Also, a lot of relationships are like this in the UK. They see no big deal in bringing their lovers for sleepovers. The only warning from the parent is usually a light one and that is "don't get her pregnant".

Your son may see you as being old-fashioned and making noise over nothing. He is a young man sowing his oats, catching fun. One day, he'll tire of this life and settle down.

It may therefore just be a passing phase. He seems he wasn't into women prior to this hence "enjoying things".

I have so many thing to say but don 't know how to say it
Mr man this is Nigeria,if the boy doesn't know what he's doing or he's naieve,the girl knows what she's doing and she's like a wolf patiently and cleverly waiting for an unguarded moment to exploit.she is looking for where to put her head.

@wisemum you are putting snake inside your pocket thinking it will not harm you because it is still calm and peaceful.

It's very possible the girl might get pregnant with another person's child and hang it on your son because she sees he has prospects or is an ajebota or she could actually trap him with pregnancy and force all of you to get her married to your son.all this she's polite Na just acting.it is not something you should overlook.if it happened in UK at least there's still support system to protect all parties involved but this is Naija where people are exploitative and the girl is looking for the family she wants to enter by force through pregnancy.dont let it slide.its an issue that you should deal with asap because Nigeria is already a misogynistic society,if push comes to shove,you will be blamed and you won't escape it.this is not a time to be doing ajebo.get police and take her to the station.she should write an undertaking and sign in the police station that she will never step into your house again and she should be arrested if she does so
Re: My Son's Girlfriend Comes To Our House To Sleep Everyday by bigjackass: 9:42am On Oct 11, 2021
Vireani79:


You just want to cause trouble for the mother

Many of u have never been abroad so u don't understand these things
The mother should leave him alone
Any attempt to take his room will cause a war she will live to remember
Any attempt to send the gal away will cause a fight that even the father will leave the house for him

He is a son and not a bastard
The guy will protect his turf and anything that concerns him with his blood

The problem I see here is the mother sees the gal as not good enough for her son cos she said she works around the house
She is poor
For a son who schooled abroad
She wants a better woman
But this is who he has found love with
He won't say it but he loves her
All the mother is to do is be his friend
Be a friend to the gal
Let her be free to come and go
Put some rules that she shouldn't walk naked
Get interested in her
She is what gives the frustrated son joy
They smoke, drink and talk about the pains of life together
Stop harassing this young lady cos u see her as beneath u and ur family
If na otedola pikin dey come ur house
Would u care if she smokes
Madam get to know her or leave her and ur son alone
this is how you will ruin your children's life because you want to be the woke parent. Apart from smoking and indecent dressing, that is a very disrespectful girl that will destroy the family. Why can't she just listen to them and come during the day and leave later without spending the night? undecided They should get to know her while she obviously has no regard for them whatsoever in their own house. She doesn't rate them at all. And there is no love there. She's just a prostitute that gets paid for her nightly services because a girl that has sense will not be comfortable using her boyfriend's house as a hotel after his parents have told her to stop sleeping there
Re: My Son's Girlfriend Comes To Our House To Sleep Everyday by BlesE: 9:43am On Oct 11, 2021
Bewiseedet:
Mind your business. Your son is matured enough to chose who to love. Isn't it better you try to know the lady better than just portray her as a prostitute?
I hate it went people don't know the meaning of minding their business, how can she mind her business when the son is disrespectfully bringing a lady into the parents house with no clear definition of what the relationship is, and someone is saying she should mind her business I weep for most people like you.
Re: My Son's Girlfriend Comes To Our House To Sleep Everyday by chris51(f): 9:43am On Oct 11, 2021
Bewiseedet:
Mind your business. Your son is matured enough to chose who to love. Isn't it better you try to know the lady better than just portray her as a prostitute?


He should rent his own house.
Re: My Son's Girlfriend Comes To Our House To Sleep Everyday by chris51(f): 9:43am On Oct 11, 2021
chris51:



He should rent his own house.
Re: My Son's Girlfriend Comes To Our House To Sleep Everyday by McStoic(m): 9:43am On Oct 11, 2021
jansonn:

Who is this one? Mind my business, my own son. Omo, don't listen to this person pls

Imagine ooo
Re: My Son's Girlfriend Comes To Our House To Sleep Everyday by Toceenay(m): 9:44am On Oct 11, 2021
wisemum:
I am bringing this topic here to see if I can get any good advise from youths of the same generation.

My son returned from schooling abroad two years ago and after completing his NYSC, has been trying to get a job. None has been forthcoming but he tries to keep occupied, trying his hands on different projects. He still lives at home but says that once he is financially stable, he will get his own apartment and move out.

He is generally a calm, law abiding , likeable gentleman until when he recently started bringing home this girl who dresses like a prostitute and who I discovered stays overnight in his room with him. His dad and I have fought him over this subject to no avail. I confronted the girl to tell her I do not feel comfortable with her sleeping overnight in my house especially since I do not know her family and will be held responsible if anything happens to her. She apologized to me and promised not to come to sleep over again. However, I noticed that after that, he started sneaking her in at late hours of the night when he thinks we have gone to bed, sometimes when it is past midnight. He hasn't introduced the girl to us as anything to him even though I have asked him several times what his intentions with this girl is but he will just say she is a friend that makes him happy- that's all.

He told his uncle that he likes the girl. I don't even know what else to do. I have tried talking to him, reasoning with him, but it all falls on his deaf ears. I do not like this girl at all. She comes across to me as a street girl- even though she is generally polite when she meets me at home anytime she comes during the day. I investigated and found out her work place is not far from our house. What I do not like about her is that she dresses, exposing delicate parts of her body and is a chain smoker.

Furthermore, to me, a girl who sleeps out in a mans' parent house, continually disregarding how his parents feel about it, cannot be good news. Once, I caught her almost naked in the night walking along the corridor leading to my sons room. She ran inside his room when she saw me. I was so embarrassed and wondered what if my husband had been the one who ran into her? What kind of thing is this? Only her pant on, breasts bare. It was the following day I traced her to her work place and gently but sharply and firmly told her I do not permit her to sleep over in my house again. His dad also spoke with him. I also spoke to him. Everything has been to no avail.

He still sneaks her in. Or did she jazz him?, Please advise me. Thanks.

I'll be firm and honest with you... Parenting is more than bringing up a child to be gentle, calm and respectful.

You are demanding some "moral values" you didn't inculcate in him. I'm sure you're part of parents that feel cohabitation is a normal thing, because this is the 21st century and that is the freedom he wants to exhibit. You're not comfortable now because it's in your house and with a girl you do not like.

The truth is if you had inculcated the moral standards at the initial stage of his life, he will never have done such. And if he would, not in your house.

We've lost the moral values in our society today, and that's the main reason for higher immoral practices in the world.
Re: My Son's Girlfriend Comes To Our House To Sleep Everyday by kingalli2(m): 9:44am On Oct 11, 2021
This is delicate situation, I'm very sure you dont want to lose your son, I will advice you not to force the situation sit your son down, talk to him, reason with him, let him say "mum you are right" and apologise. Your son is in love and he might be planning to leave your house soon just to please d lady. In summary, make your son reason with you before he reason with d lady
Re: My Son's Girlfriend Comes To Our House To Sleep Everyday by Gee64: 9:44am On Oct 11, 2021
Best advice for you.
Stop poke-nosing. Your son is a grown man.
You monitor him because he is in your house.
Do you want to turn a bad mother-in-law?
Let them be.

My only advice is that you should try to stop her from smoking. You can make that as a condition for her to marry your son if that is their intention.
Bewiseedet:
Mind your business. Your son is matured enough to chose who to love. Isn't it better you try to know the lady better than just portray her as a prostitute?

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