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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Agonies Of Monogamy Against Polygamy (1045 Views)
Reno Omokri: I Don't Know If Polygamy Is A Sin / Emir Warns Peasants Against Polygamy / Agony Of Monogamy (2) (3) (4)
Agonies Of Monogamy Against Polygamy by KayB: 7:31am On Oct 29, 2021 |
by Chief Tola Adeniyi, a former MD of Daily Times. Society must rethink this issue of pretentious monogamy vis-à-vis polygamy so that in the not-too-distant future we do not end up with millions of unmarried women whose life style would be worse than prostitutes’ and millions of children whose fathers would be nowhere to be found. The article is designed to expose the hypocrisy and pain associated with embracing false notions which are really not observed by any culture in the world, and to advise those who erroneously sentence themselves to a life of sadness and emptiness because they were deceived to believe that there is some utopia somewhere called monogamy. I am very much aware that this article will generate a lot of controversy most especially from those who live holier-than-thou life and have continued to deceive the world that they are upholders of a doctrine that is not supported by true and enlightened interpretation of any religious doctrine. My Greek, Italian, Russian, British, American and other Caucasians routinely visit their other wives [called by other names] with whom they have children. But back in the homes shared with the one carrying the ring, they are monogamists! If God had wanted humanity to be monogamous He would not have made the pigeon the only monogamous creature. The cultures that practice polygamy had always known that at any given time, the number of available marriageable women far out number available men plus the fact that an 80-year-old man, if he has money, is still very much in the market whereas a 60-year-old woman may not be that lucky. The biological limitation to a woman’s productive age is also a factor. Why should a woman therefore remain on the shelf till age 45 when she could jolly well get married as second or fourth wife to a man *who can afford to share life’s responsibilities with her*? Why should a woman leave a man with whom she is No 1, simply because he took a second wife and end up being numberless in the hands of several men with whom she naturally shares bed just because of some doctrine she hardly understands? All the women who should go and marry but are saying they do not want to share their man with another woman in a polygamous setting, are sharing current boyfriends with several other women. Where is the logic? The argument that children in a polygamous house are always at each other’s throat does not hold water. Many siblings of monogamous families are sometimes known to have had worse and irresolvable or irreconcilable squabbles with dirty bitterness over inheritance or even other matters than children from different mothers. The agony suffered by both men and women in the hand of unnatural laws and doctrines is too stifling for comfort. In 2002, five hundred and two Reverend mothers were reported to have died while procuring abortion in Rome (alone). Nigerian Tribune wrote an editorial on the unfortunate incident. And stories of Reverend fathers having children and sodomising young men in their care are legion! Why the hypocrisy? Why should the world continue to live the life of Ostrich? A well known Nigerian journalist hide his other wives from his wife because his religion would not permit of it and his wife, living in monogamy should not hear of it. At his funeral service programmes, 9 wives surfaced and the woman parading the ring collapsed. It was the grace of God that prevented double internment that day! Mitterrand, the former French president was discovered to have side attachment with 2 kids after he died. Meanwhile French laws restrict man to only one wife. Arnold Schwarzenegger who was married to JF Kennedy's sister had a troubling home. He disclosed to the wife that the male child the former house maid was carrying about was actually his son. That day the Kennedy lady did not sleep in that house. She parked out of the house that night with her 3 kids. She cannot tolerate to share her husband with another woman. She is there with no other man. So, over to those whose opinion is hinged on whatever reason to rethink. This is becoming a wild fire that will leave no home in no distant time. #Copied* |
Re: Agonies Of Monogamy Against Polygamy by Mightymosco: 7:48am On Oct 29, 2021 |
We d descendant of david nd solomon no go dissapoint 1 Like |
Re: Agonies Of Monogamy Against Polygamy by Fahdiga(m): 7:54am On Oct 29, 2021 |
First time I'm hearing that Monogamy aka Helinues is a polygamist |
Re: Agonies Of Monogamy Against Polygamy by advanceDNA: 8:13am On Oct 29, 2021 |
KayB: Why is it hard for you to respect people’s choices... U want polygamy??...go ahead and marry multiple wives....Why are you looking for a people to support you calling monogamy hypocrisy ... if your woman say the same thing now...u will be among those that will start crying foul...... U want your woman to be happy sharing your pen!s with several other woman under one roof....but you can’t imagine it the other way round....u think say na only you like enjoyment 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Agonies Of Monogamy Against Polygamy by Afamsi: 8:28am On Oct 29, 2021 |
Using simple analogy- monogamy is like Eko Atlantic City while polygamy is like Ajegunle 1 Like |
Re: Agonies Of Monogamy Against Polygamy by ststyreal(f): 9:31pm On Oct 31, 2021 |
If you want to marry ten wives, go ahead and do it and stop trying to convince people with your satanic sermon. Bible says a man shall leave his father and mother and clinged to his wife and not wives". So leave people to live the way they deem honourable. Go ahead and enjoy your polygamy with it's many after effects which unfortunately lands on the children. Not every woman will marry and that is why some choose to be a rev sisters etc. |
Re: Agonies Of Monogamy Against Polygamy by Kobojunkie: 5:01am On Nov 01, 2021 |
ststyreal:No dey use God to dey try argue these things at all. We are talking here of the same God who gave many multiple partners to His servants abeg. ![]() God never said He only supports monogamy, no, He never in fact stated that anywhere in scripture. That assumption is of men and entirely of men. As a matter of fact, God's Law leaves marriage open - monogamy, polygamy and polyandry are all included in His definition of marriage. All He stipulates is that the contract be between one man and one woman. So in the case of a man with more than one wife, there exists a separate contract between the man and each wife. Same in the case of a woman and multiple men, there should exist a separate contract between each husband and the one woman in the multi-union/marriage. ![]() The choice of monogamy, polygamy, polyandry, or even a life lived as a Eunuch is left to individuals to chose for themselves. ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: Agonies Of Monogamy Against Polygamy by Smile4mee01: 5:39am On Nov 01, 2021 |
This is a topic worthy of discuss. Whichever divide you belong, there is a crisis looming. Many more women are unmarried and the society is acting like it's not a problem. I think the idea of Polygamy is not so much that man should marry 50 wives, it's so every women has a chance of being a wife and a mother. Many of the women agaisnt it are so because they fear competition of resources meant for her children will now be shared. The middle east and thier religion seem to have addressed this but our women want equal rights. Will women rather be Single forever without a child than be a wife to a good worthy man, have a child or two and do your live your life? I would love for older women to advice us about this. Personally, i still prefer monogamy. Let those who have the liver to manage many women do so. 1 Like |
Re: Agonies Of Monogamy Against Polygamy by Smile4mee01: 5:40am On Nov 01, 2021 |
Make I shake table small.... lol Questioning Patriarchy... *SLAVERY OF MEN BY WOMEN* German writer Esther Villar In her book *"The Manipulated Man"* that caused outrage and hostile criticism from women explains how women since the earliest times have manipulated men and turned them into their slaves, they have pretended to be the oppressed sex while in the real sense they are the oppressors. She explains how a woman manipulates a man skillfully by steps like courtship and finally marriage, hence the saying *"a man chases a woman until SHE catches him".* In her book she explains how the man is tricked to care for the woman all his life and her offspring. He rolls the stone like Sisyphus and in turn gets rewarded by a few minutes of sexual pleasure. We can, by observing Esther Villars assertions that a man is a slave of his desires and the woman uses and has used it for thousands of years as a stick and carrot to keep the man chasing vanity and commit his life to serving her. She goes ahead to explain the rivalry of women, how each woman feels the powerful urge and need to own a male for herself. Like a slave owner she detests any move the man would make to offer his services to another woman. She uses all means to keep the man to herself and her offspring alone. Esther Villar's sentiments are captured by Nigerian Poet, critic and writer, Chinweizu Ibekwe in his book, *"The Anatomy of Female Power"*(AFP) and Will Farrel's, *"The Predatory Female*. They all push the theory that all societies are matriarchal and not patriarchal as we are pushed and forced to believe. Matriarchy has ruled not through brawn but wits and tricks; women feigning weakness to be protected etc. Thus the male becomes the most exploited sex in human history,(in wars the man is always ready to die for the woman; he has been trained to do that). Chinweizu calls the idea of dating and courtship, training, like that of a horse. It is during this time that a woman having kept the man on a leash by denying him sex and getting him addicted to her by false charms, trains and breaks him to whatever she wants him to become. The marriage celebration becomes a celebration for the woman and her friends, and they all congratulate her for having succeeded in getting herself a slave. A man on that wedding day waves goodbye to his independence and his coalition of males and commits himself to a Sisyphean life, rolling the stone, an act he cannot abandon having society and the government checking on him and always ready to jail, shame or exile him for absconding his duties. *Thus the government and society helps the woman in keeping her slave in check.* Chinweizu gives a narration of how women are trained by older matriarchs to tame men. He explains how a man is trained to rely on women by his own mother. A man is shamed for cooking for himself and other domestic chores by his own mother who is an agent of the global matriarchal rule. By getting the man to hate domestic works and having it enforced by culture which warns men against going into the kitchen, doing laundry etc., the mother trains his son for the woman who will captivate him and when the time comes she takes hold of the man's stomach and by getting the man addicted to her body she holds him by the two, in bed and in the kitchen. With those two weapons she manipulates the man and turns him into her plaything. In the *"Myth of the Male Power"*, Esther Villar's *" A Man's Right to the Other Woman"*; *"The Polygamous Sex"*, the authors of those books challenge the narrative that men oppress women, and by detailed research across African,Western and Eastern both in ancient and modern societies, the authors unravel the hidden power of the ruthless matriarchal power that rules the world. *Presidents, Emperors and Kings are all puppets of the matriarchy forces that rule the World by pulling the strings from behind the curtains.* *�Man, Take it or Leave it!�* 3 Likes |
Re: Agonies Of Monogamy Against Polygamy by Saintmary(f): 8:15am On Nov 01, 2021 |
I don't understand why people who fail at a particular venture love to attack that institution. Those who fail at academics will attack academics Those who fail at love will attack and insult the other gender Those who fail at marriage will attack marriage Those who fail at money will scream vanity Those who fail at beauty will attack beautiful people And on and on and on. If you have made any errors, instead of turning philosophical, be brave enough to turn things around for yourself, you'll be the better for it. Peace. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Agonies Of Monogamy Against Polygamy by saintvc(m): 10:12am On Nov 01, 2021 |
Marriage itself is artificial. Japan have highest life expectancy. They live for 75 years without ever getting married |
Re: Agonies Of Monogamy Against Polygamy by saintvc(m): 10:23am On Nov 01, 2021 |
Saintmary: I know a brilliant PHD holder who says that schooling is a scam. Despite the PHD in philosophy . He claims most of his education was as a result of personal effort and passion and is of the opinion that schooling is not meant for everyone. He personally desires to lecture and since the law says one must have aPHD before he lectured, he got one. As a lecturer, he disagreed with other lectures vehemently. There is this Man who is a professor of religious studies but is not religious. He believes that organised religious prevent one from growing spiritually. A Yoruba man who speaks English very well on Teju program advocated that English language is overrated and should not be used as a yardstick for measuring intelligence . There are rich men son who trade their wealth for poverty e.g Budha, St Augustine . Even Biblical Solomon with. His wealth and wives and cocubine says all is vanity That someone criticesomething does not mean they fail at that . 3 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Agonies Of Monogamy Against Polygamy by tobechi74: 10:33am On Nov 01, 2021 |
No Commentson Why is monogamy considered Natural What is so special in monogamous relationship? If monogamy is natural, why do we struggle at it? No one teaches fish how to swim? Why do we have books on how to avoid cheating? To answer this question,we look at what researchers revealed Evolutionary scientist David Barish compared monogamy among various animals. Only 9 percent of mammals practice monogamy 29 percent of primates are monogamous Before westernisation, 86 percent of indigenous society are no monogamous Overfamiliarisation with a partner kills a woman libido 30 percent of women have extra-marital affair despite being happy with their marriage. The numbers are against monogamy. One advantage of monogamy over polygamy is the assurance of a mate for every male. No group of wealthy powerful men can marry off all the women leaving the non powerful men single.. AThe spread of Christianity could be be a dominant factor. Monogamy offers an exclusive sence of ownership each woman on the man rather than having to share him with other women. Monogamy restricts each party from love and sex with another. Are these two not one of the sweetest feelings? Limited my experience of them should be seen as punnishnent and not something to jubilate to. In casual friendship, my friend could have other friends beside me and I am cool with that. But in monogamy, It is me and me alone. Any attempt to share love and sex with another is considered cheating. A woman should only love one guy but she can share her love among her children equally. Why can’t she love six men equally? Is this not hypocrisy? It means the 2 Likes |
Re: Agonies Of Monogamy Against Polygamy by bukatyne(f): 10:45am On Nov 01, 2021 |
Saintmary: ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() @bold: Please translate to all the major languages in Nigeria. 1 Like |
Re: Agonies Of Monogamy Against Polygamy by bukatyne(f): 10:48am On Nov 01, 2021 |
Kobojunkie: Reviewing the Bible and how marriage is supposed to work, which model do you think beat meets it? @OP: This article has been repeated severally. Is there anything stopping a man or woman interested in polygyny today? |
Re: Agonies Of Monogamy Against Polygamy by Saintmary(f): 4:53pm On Nov 01, 2021 |
saintvc: You got me wrong. I'm not saying all critics are failures. I was saying that lots of failures turn themselves to critics because they are too lazy to correct their wrongdoing. |
Re: Agonies Of Monogamy Against Polygamy by MufasaLion: 5:14pm On Nov 01, 2021 |
Polygamy? Run!!! |
Re: Agonies Of Monogamy Against Polygamy by playapayaski: 9:30pm On Nov 01, 2021 |
Do what makes you happy n choose wisely.. Death is the only sure thing in life, no other is guaranteed.. happiness, wealth, kids, family, peace, absolutely none. |
Re: Agonies Of Monogamy Against Polygamy by Kobojunkie: 9:42pm On Nov 01, 2021 |
bukatyne:How marriage is supposed to work? God never did give instructions on how marriage is supposed to work. He left that decision up to the man and woman in the union to decide for themselves. ![]() As for what works, that again is left to individuals to decide of their own. What is of concern to the Kingdom is that the contract be honored and that divorce be avoided at all cost. Other than that, the same exact laws apply to all who are followers of Jesus Christ as far as life and living is concerned. ![]() |
Re: Agonies Of Monogamy Against Polygamy by KayB: 11:59pm On Sep 10, 2022 |
ststyreal: Exodus 21 Verse !0 |
Re: Agonies Of Monogamy Against Polygamy by pansophist(m): 12:10am On Sep 11, 2022 |
But wait on, Why is God not angry with king Solomon who married three hundred wives, with additional seven hundred concubines? Instead he (God) decided to blessed him ? ![]() 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Agonies Of Monogamy Against Polygamy by Mindlog: 2:06am On Sep 11, 2022 |
pansophist: You and your likes love focusing on what you posted as a means of rationalization but conveniently choose to ignore the recorded consequences of Solomon's promiscuity and the associated idolatry that turned his heart away from God. Let me refresh your mind, (1 Kings 11:11-13) : So the LORD said to Solomon, “Since this is your attitude and you have not kept my covenant and my decrees, which I commanded you, I will most certainly tear the kingdom away from you and give it to one of your subordinates. Nevertheless, for the sake of David your father, I will not do it during your lifetime. I will tear it out of the hand of your son. Yet I will not tear the whole kingdom from him, but will give him one tribe for the sake of David my servant and for the sake of Jerusalem, which I have chosen....Solomon ended up becoming the last King of a United Israel as he left behind devastation as there was conflict and decay everywhere and within a year of Solomon's death the country was split into two kingdoms, forever changing the path of Israel's history as his son, Rehoboam only got to rule over 2 tribes out of the 12. 2 Likes |
Re: Agonies Of Monogamy Against Polygamy by onumadu: 5:29am On Sep 11, 2022 |
@OP, you are expecting Africans to actually THINK about a situation, and that, I'm afraid is akin to squeezing water out of stone. The funny thing is that the current western world actually practices (in real practice) old precolonial IGBO marital system. That marriage system starts with monogamy, but "grows" or branches out as people grow in age. Hence, today we have all kinds of "POLYAMORIES" in these western societies. An example is serial monogamy (can anyone swear that they NEVER sleep with their ex's?, for example). Then we have other "non-monogamies" in tow. The only difference between these latter day western marital practices and the old Igbo ones, is that the Igbo were outright honest about everything and institutionalized them across the board. When the Europeans came, they were outraged by them (example G.T Basden), and seriously criticized them. But then fast-forward to today, what do we have in western societies today? SAME THING, rebranded. In my book, GOD only cares that a human being does not hurt another. Whatever law they create and agree on, should bind them -whatever is bound on earth is bound in heaven ... 1 Like |
Re: Agonies Of Monogamy Against Polygamy by Nobody: 8:06am On Sep 11, 2022 |
Mindlog:He’s an online polygamous man, don’t mind him. He’s also an atheist. |
Re: Agonies Of Monogamy Against Polygamy by Nobody: 9:19am On Sep 11, 2022 |
pansophist:You know nothing about the bible so leave bible matters alone. The coming of Christ abolishes old practices and also know that Solomon never ended well because of his ways with women. |
Re: Agonies Of Monogamy Against Polygamy by onumadu: 5:57pm On Sep 11, 2022 |
Rozross: “Don’t misunderstand why I have come. I did not come to abolish the law of Moses or the writings of the prophets. No, I came to accomplish their purpose." ( New Living Translation) “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them." (New International Version) My own comment: So, what "old practices" are you talking about? This is how you people Europeanize Christianity, while Jesus himself was a JEW. A practicing Jew throughout his life. Jews of Jesus era practiced polygyny (go and do the historical research). Jesus only wanted the Jews to become more HUMANE in the application of the law, and also to introduce God's ORIGINAL PURPOSE for making the law, which is that people should love their neighbors as themselves. That way, God's law could become universal rather than just for Jews. Monogamy is simply a ROMAN/GREEK TRADITION imported into Christianity by earlier "Holy Roman Empire", today's Roman Catholic Church. You people need to go to school about these things. Failure to understand them is part of why wickedness is increasing in our land with increasing number of churches. 1 Like |
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