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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? (31283 Views)
I Love My Wife & My Kid, But I Want To Leave The Marriage. Help! / The Marriage List Given To A Man In Akwa Ibom State / I Told My Husband That I Cheated On Him. Now He Wants A Divorce. (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by socialmediaman: 10:34pm On Nov 10, 2021 |
1 Like |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by Truvelisback(m): 11:24pm On Nov 10, 2021 |
No commess. |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by Imustnottalk: 11:51pm On Nov 10, 2021 |
If you ain't ripe or mature for marriage please don't think of it . Young ladies between the age of 18 -25 that rush into marriage are the ones that get divorce mostly 16 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by kramer: 1:02am On Nov 11, 2021 |
Hathor5: The point I'm trying to make is that some women might think being a housewife means doing nothing.. however it's a lot of hard work like the OP has said. 2 Likes |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by Vision101(m): 1:44am On Nov 11, 2021 |
The op's write up and most comments mainly align to the position of a woman. This also happens to men. Some men spend all their lives and energy thinking and providing for their families. He leaves so early and returns very late. Children are in good schools, madam looks gorgeous. The home is comfortable but he hardly stays at home. The guy man hardly upgrade his dress except that detected by his work rules. His life is pressure and stress. The spouse might still be nagging. Is this the reason why there are more widows than widowers? 49 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by eazzzy1(m): 2:11am On Nov 11, 2021 |
pocohantas: Cheating o. People are enjoying the stability marriage brings and the excitement that being single brings. 19 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by ImaIma1(f): 3:34am On Nov 11, 2021 |
Quite difficult to take care of a home alone with 5 kids and not lose yourself. It's a lot of work for one person. Imagine spending almost 2hrs of my life in one day doing homework for one child. I wonder how the woman in the story was even able to keep a job with 5kids and no help. 19 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by efficiencie(m): 3:57am On Nov 11, 2021 |
obembet: There is one question if unanswered will result in you learning absolutely nothing and the question is: What was your reason for getting into a marriage with a man who, by your admission, does not appreciate your efforts, abuses you and blame you for all of his misfortune? 12 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by Kobojunkie: 4:43am On Nov 11, 2021 |
efficiencie:If she, like so many others out there, tells you her reason is love, will you then suggest to her, this 5-kids later, that she was wrong? 4 Likes |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by frozen70(f): 5:56am On Nov 11, 2021 |
holocron:What's your problem naw, where you there to witness all she said that you are bashing her It's cheaper and more of value to be a career woman than a house wife Most house wife, works more than career women yet they are not appreciated 18 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by Kobojunkie: 6:44am On Nov 11, 2021 |
frozen70:There are career men and women who work from home handling pretty much similar workload as house wife use to, this in addition to their career work load out there. I recently visited a lawyer who runs her business from her home. She is able to deal with 3 children under age 8 and still attend to her clients and children's daily activities at that. So, unless the housewife homeschools all her kids, I don't see how anyone can clearly say that housewives work more than career women, particularly in the world of today. 15 Likes |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by Klass99(f): 7:11am On Nov 11, 2021 |
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Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by Hathor5(f): 7:32am On Nov 11, 2021 |
kramer: I get it now. 1 Like |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by Klass99(f): 8:21am On Nov 11, 2021 |
. 44 Likes 11 Shares |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by debbydams(f): 9:02am On Nov 11, 2021 |
ImaIma1:it's not easy |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by debbydams(f): 9:04am On Nov 11, 2021 |
Klass99:well said 4 Likes |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by ImaIma1(f): 9:34am On Nov 11, 2021 |
Klass99: The bolded is just painful and annoying. My former colleague at work was the 10th child out of 11 children. The 11th child was finally the boy the mother was looking for even after her husbandhad told her to stop. Some women put themselves through it. It's important not to marry a slave driver; a man that sees getting a help as lazy. They expect you to lose yourself doing everything yourself and even keeping a job. In the end, the woman feels the loss and the effect on her body. And inlaw of mine was really ill during the lockdown. She had a help at a point but later she didn't anymore. The effect of all.of the stress told on her, and was part of the illness. When she got well, she told us to try and get help if we can, and not always try to be a superwoman or worry about what people say. It's best not to have too many kids. That alone can drive someone crazy. 12 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by holocron: 10:02am On Nov 11, 2021 |
frozen70: A woman sacrificing the upbringing and well being of her children for career is nothing but a Faustian bargain with the devil whereby you end up paying a price far more in excess of the value of what you bought. 6 Likes |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by frozen70(f): 10:25am On Nov 11, 2021 |
holocron: What's the difference between you and the devil 14 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by Kobojunkie: 5:18pm On Nov 11, 2021 |
holocron:Really? Because that Faustian bargain is what many of our mothers before us who started out housewives ended up making when they were eventually abandoned by their lord and husbands. We are many grateful they made that deal for our sakes.. 15 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by Farfalla(f): 9:45am On Nov 12, 2021 |
Klass99:@ bolded, Many African women tend to believe that children are the way to a man's heart. Have you ever seen how co-wives compete by getting baby after baby with the hope that the man will love them more? 13 Likes |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by Acidosis(m): 10:13am On Nov 12, 2021 |
Klass99: Revealing...but! ...Can we also get the view of single women in their 50s who had the opportunity to get married to a good man but declined due to ego, career, or other reasons? There is something about humans that always makes us feel that we could have been a better person if... You see, the "if" factor is not peculiar to women per se. Relocate me from Nigeria to the U.K in 2021. By 2050, I may begin to ask what "if I had gone to Canada?" Human wants will forever be insatiable. Married women should not begin to share tales about how they would have lived a better life if it hadn't been for marriage when there are no proofs anywhere that single women in their 60s (with no marriage experience) lived a better/ fulfilled life devoid of regrets. 53 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by b3llo(m): 12:19pm On Nov 12, 2021 |
This is beyond me to comment but I have picked the message passed. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by Klass99(f): 3:59pm On Nov 12, 2021 |
. 20 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by Klass99(f): 4:02pm On Nov 12, 2021 |
. 13 Likes |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by Bitecoin: 4:32pm On Nov 12, 2021 |
frozen70: A career woman is always under constant pressure, not a house wife, worse she can decide not to allow the kids go to school for a whole day n it doesn’t affect them. A career lady can’t plus the constant fear of her being laid off work is there. 5 Likes |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by Farfalla(f): 6:05pm On Nov 12, 2021 |
Klass99: I can imagine. Very few polygamous families function normally. It's always one horror story after another. My mother's first cousin is a first wife in a polygamous marriage. This woman has lived for decades in the same house with her crazy, narcissistic husband and her co-wife. The same house o! The man deliberately wanted her to stick around so that he could rub his second marriage in her face. She had 2 kids when this co-wife joined them. He ganged up with his second wife to make her miserable, but what did she do? She went on to have 4 other kids with this same man! Total of 6 kids with a man who despised her! How the man's manhood would rise to the occasion with all the hostility he had towards her is the one thing I couldn't understand. Maybe he'd go to her bedroom when the other wife was on her periods. That was my conclusion. She must have thought that getting more children would bring some form of healing to the marriage. For where? Ironically, the co-wife just got 2 kids and she's the loved one. This my mother's cousin would come to our home and lament to my mum about her ordeal in that marriage. From constant verbal abuse, to being thrown out while it's raining, to hearing sex sounds from her co-wife's room, to being locked up in her room so she won't eat (as "punishment" ), this woman went through what you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy. That's the picture I have of a polygamous home. I grew up watching that family and I knew, even as a little girl, that something wasn't quite right with that set-up. 34 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by cococandy(f): 6:30pm On Nov 12, 2021 |
This is a narcissist man’s wet dream. (Gags) When they come to tell you it’s okay because some culture or religion allows it and then you see some women agreeing with them, I go the bathroom and throw up a little. Disgusting doesn’t begin to describe it. Pathetic and desperate describes such women. And that’s putting it nicely Farfalla: 30 Likes 7 Shares |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by Konquest: 7:14pm On Nov 12, 2021 |
Klass99:@Klass99 I'm gonna differ with you here 'cause you're speaking in absolute terms. Men also experience body changes as we grow older, just like women because of hormonal changes and pressures of daily living. But these are minor situations if you're a fitness and health buff regardless of the gender. Second, there's nothing wrong with a woman having up to 4 to 5 children as long as ladies are in tune with the current trends in post-pregnancy weight loss and body firming. There are many women who have experienced multiple births (i.e., due to giving birth to triplets or quintuplets) and they still look red-hot! Don't make it look like men cannot stand by their women who have up to 5 children just because you saw 300+ likes on an NL post. Some of those likes definitely came from mainly younger folks who have NOT yet developed their power of imagination and critical thinking which lead to creative solutions in the real world. Ciao. P.S. Klass99, give me the link to the NL post of the dude who you say had 367 likes. I'd like to further evaluate what the dude posted. 19 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by Klass99(f): 7:22pm On Nov 12, 2021 |
. 9 Likes |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by Klass99(f): 7:38pm On Nov 12, 2021 |
. 25 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by frozen70(f): 8:26pm On Nov 12, 2021 |
Bitecoin: You sound like a bachelor, wait till you get married 4 Likes |
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