Kobojunkie:
Just as not all men are monogamous, so also all women are not monogamous?

The questions asked are valid here.

authority2006:
I don't know about women being monogamous or not, but the truth is that many married women are equally guilty of this crime. But as far as nature is concerned, quite a number of male animals are not monogamous, among which are male human beings. Lol

Ishilove:

Person wey never marry dey advice married men about marriage.

The irony

Gentlebabs:
I married my Bewaji because she is the rythym of my heart...

Kobojunkie:
But if you really think about it.... there are men out there who married for the same exact reasons and did flake when their eyes were opened to what was on the other side of that big bom bom.

Are you here saying then that because of men like Churchhill who chickened out when reality set in that it it then wrong to marry because of big bom bom?

irunoko:
of course that's a stupid reason to marry.if you have a vision, your vision will guide/influence the type of Man/woman you marry

TheOnlyUyai:
I don't know if it's just me. But, love is the last thing I will marry for. Love comes 4th on my checklist. I mean, it's wavering anyway, so why marry for something that is just short-lived and prone to change?

rita25:
i did but thought prayers and been a good woman will help but hian ko werk!!!!!!!!!!! i will raise my kids to go for worth before heart o. see how regina daniels mama dey flex? and the girl too is happy in wealth.

fasho01:
I married my wife because she is gentle, kind, and understands me. She allows me be me at all times and trusts me to lead our home. Even when I make wrong judgements, she is always supportive and it gives me room to learn, thrive and be the best version of me for our family. I'm not there yet, but with her by my side, I am happily being the man I want to be and this brings me absolute peace.

If I'm to do it all over again, I will honestly choose her again

franchasng:
romantic love is never enough reason to marry anybody, be it a guy or a lady.


Marriage is beyond romantic love.


Romantic love alone cannot sustain any marriage. I think movies deceive a lot of ladies sha

Owopariola01:


Nothing sustains a marriage that doesn't want to be sustained.
And out of the things that try to sustain any Union, love is still the most potent.
Where people get it wrong is what love really means.
Why do people easily break up for little reasons but can't break up with their siblings for similar reasons?

franchasng:
romantic love is different from blood love. What parents share with their kids is blood love. what siblings share is blood love. what husband and wife or boyfriend and girlfriend share is romantic love.

Romantic love is based on romantic feelings which stems from physical qualities, psychological and emotional feelings, and when any of these qualities go missing, the love suffers and may even end.


But blood love even though it can suffer setback is more likely to be rebuilt than romantic love.

Romantic love is not enough reason to marry anybody

Owopariola01:


Then what is enough reason to marry?

As I said, nothing sustains a marriage that doesn't want to be sustained. Of all the things that try to sustain a marriage, ROMANTIC love is still the most potent.

franchasng:
You must have your personal reason that should convince you to marry someone. There can never be one reason that fits all individuals but you see romantic love, it should never be the only reason to settle with someone for life. it could be part of your reasons but should never be the only reason to.


We marry to achieve some personal life goals and desires like;

bearing kids

some not just bearing kids but bearing kids with certain features like tall, physically attractive, dark or light skin, ingelligent, smart, etc.

fulfilling the dreams of our parents to have grandchildren or heir for lineage continuation, etc


political gains or even for business ties.


for travel opportunities like marrying someone who has citizenship of our dream country we wish to emigrate to legally.


for financial support or gains.

For sexual needs and companionship.

for social growth like marrying a celebrity to help compliment your status or help grow your image.

For personal religious belief or reason.

and several other personal reasons.


So every individual should strive to ensure majority of his or her personal reasons for settling down are met so that if it turns south tomorrow, you will have some things to look back and be happy for.

TheOnlyUyai:
I don't know if it's just me. But, love is the last thing I will marry for. Love comes 4th on my checklist. I mean, it's wavering anyway, so why marry for something that is just short-lived and prone to change?

Kobojunkie:
How can you declare it a stupid reason simply because it failed for some?
What about those who married for that reason and are doing just fine in their union are there marriage not just as valid as any other out there?

irunoko:
Yoruba would say Eni to mo ibiti Oro ma wosi loma'nje ota oloro

Owopariola01:



To a certain extent, you're right, but without peace, all the things you listed won't be valued again.
Read the most appropriate response to your post by @irunoko:

"Some men marry because of big bom Bom or fine face .when they enter finish, and the woman shows her unpleasant character. e.g being disrespectful, gossiping, lousy, promiscuous, or lazy, the fine face won't matter again. issues begin to crop up, and you know the rest

Churchill is another example of a man who married for the wrong reasons, i.e., because of the celebrity status of Tonto Dike and her face. Later, he was the same person that would complain of her coming home drunk, smoking weed in the sitting room during pregnancy, violent tendencies-going to his workplace to destroy his properties, etc. Those are people who married for physical looks/sex without taking time to study the character and whether they are compatible with their ways /values."

Considering this reply, even if you marry for money, political gain, dream, etc when your partner begins showing "unpleasant character. e.g being disrespectful, gossiping, lousy, promiscuous, or lazy, the fine face (money, political gains, the dream country, etc.) won't matter again. Issues begin to crop up, and you know the rest.

So I still maintain that nothing sustains marriage. And of the things that try to sustain marriage " genuinely," Romantic love is still the most potent.

Owopariola01:


According to Confucius, by three methods, we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third, by experience, which is the bitterest.


The OP may be something through the first method. Don't you think?

Stycon:


What are the other things on the list? I want to check something

rita25:
i wish i had married for money cos i thought i was in love but na scam i have seen shege walahi

Hottdawgg:
I married early. Yes it was for love, besides she was pregnant. We never had money problem because I was already making good money fresh out of school. She is an excellent communicator. She occupies you, she gets into your head to the extent that you feel a void in her absence. Therefore losing her wasn't an option. Above and beyond that sex with her was great. We matched anatomically. It doesn't mean I don't do away matches. That is sure banker. But she never gets to know. When she does get to know It costs me quite a pretty penny to settle things out. But it's always money well spent

Owopariola01:


It is only when you don't have money I may agree with you. But if you have money, please marry for love. I repeat, marry for love. And by that, marry someone that loves you, not necessarily someone you love.
It might be more applicable to men, though.

advanceDNA:


Can’t u identify Cruise when you see it

Skyview01:


Nah! No regrets especially when i look at the kids. They are much older than all my friend's.
At some point, i felt i didn't enjoy my bachelorhood enough, i only dated one girlfriend and we met when i was 22.
I sometimes crave to have the whole house to myself and sometimes total silence.

LARRYOBRAIN:
Because i prayed for a wife, God told me she is the one, i have to go after her, got married to her and we are living joyously, sunday is our sixth wedding anniversary, glory be to God.
God cannot be wrong.

TheManMentor:


Thankz for ya honest response....
I currently sail d same boat u were on, scary atimes but ultimately grateful for d journey so far

TheOnlyUyai:


Yes, I will marry a man that loves me more than I love him if that's what you mean. Love is just a facade.

franchasng:
I understand you. Romantic love does not sustain marriage. The only thing that can sustain marriage is mutual benefit because two people are involved and only when the two people involved in marriage; husband and wife are benefitting some or all of the things they hoped for and desired for before agreeing to enter that marriage, that's the only thing that can sustain marriage; mutual benefits (husband want respect, sex, homekeeper, peace of mind and he's getting it, wife wants steady money, good sex, emotional care, assurance, etc and she is getting it) thats the only thing that can sustain marriage. so as a husband or wife, you must continually reevaluate yourself and check if you are meeting some or most of the things that convinced your wife or husband to marry you, if not, the marriage is headed for doom because whatever love you both claim to share will definitely fade away as resentment sets in due to unmet expectations.

Romantic love is usually based on certain qualities (physical beauty which is based on individual perception of what beauty means to him or her, character, etc).

Going by your example, even if Churchill loved Tonto Dikeh, it couldn't have saved the marriage still. Romantic love dies, forget the lies mainstream media or popular opinion say about love in marriage, it can die with time or due to some reasons.

Nobody just wakes up to love anybody unconditionally, there is always a reason why people love someone romantically more than others to push them to marry them.

There is nothing like unconditional love, it doesn't exist. Even mothers can hate their child if the child possess some negative qualities they never wanted after birth, reason you hear that a mother threw away her newborn baby, etc.

Romantic love does not sustain marriage.

And who told you Churchill doesnt have things he looks back at and smile for marrying Tonto? If he married her for fame, he got it, everybody now knows about him unlike before.



If Ned Nwoko married Regina Daniels for fame, he has achieved it and will never feel foolish should the marriage end tomorrow.


In conclusion, remember my initial point that romantic love should never be the only reason anybody should marry anyone; it's not enough.