Good day everyone, I want to raise an issue that has been bothering me as a sibling, and also to my parents.

My sister who has just finished her SSCE exams has been engaged in indecent chats with various people on her phone, we were brought up under strict muslim parents, honestly they have done a good job parenting so far, for the fact that my mum knew something was fishy because she is always with her phone.

Her phone has been seized, since this happened yesterday she has refused to greet my parents or even assist in helping my mum cook and also refused to eat as well. Both parents have tried the best they can to enlighten us about social media and how to moderately use it, but my sister wouldn't care to listen, it's as if she is possessed because it has happened more than once under my parents watch.

Parents on this forum, kindly suggest ways to treat this matter urgently.

Its just a phase,the latter teen stages where rebellion and peer group pressure takes the centre stage in ones fight for individuality....she'll grow out of it eventually,just let her be because the more opposition you create,the greater the rebellious attitude,just talk to her in an even but stern tone about her choice of friends.

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Teach her the taliban style

She needs to know more about life. This life is too deep for her.

Chatting with different men is haram

Isllam and force are like 5 and 6. You don't force a way of life on an individual, you ask God to help the individual make the best of choice.
For those quoting me,if someone does not understand why he or she should live a way of like the person will not make the necessary changes no matter how strict the parents are. It will only lead to hypocritic life.

RAFFIZY:

Her phone has been seized,since this happened yesterday she has refused to greet my parents or even assist in helping my mum cook and also refused to eat as well. Both parents have tried the best they can to enlighten us about social media and how to moderately use it,but my sister wouldn't care to listen,its as if she is possessed because it has happened more than once under my parents watch.
Parents on this forum, kindly suggest ways to treat this matter urgently.

How old is this sister of yours?

17years old

Mennnnnnnn

RAFFIZY:
17years old

When you say indecent chat, can you explain please? Do you mean like chatting with Nairalanders in romance section or what?

Na because she be girl na.
If na boy them no go even bother sef.
Na wa ooo

As long as she hasn't gone pass the indecent chatting phase, she can still be curtailed.
Most girls her age, especially fresh out of secondary school children goes tru this phase, not just girls, but boys alike, they start exploring their sexuality, and get existed easy with any attention thrown their way, give her time and watch d company she keeps. But as we dey talk for Delta state, [color=#990000][/color] PIKIN WHEN WON SPOIL, GO SPOIL

RAFFIZY:
Good day everyone, I want to raise an issue that has been bothering me as a sibling,and also to my parents,my sister who has just finished her ssce exams has been engaged in indecent chats with various people on her phone,we were brought up under strict muslim parents,honestly they have done a good job parenting so far,for the fact that my mum knew something was fishy because she is always with her phone.
Her phone has been seized,since this happened yesterday she has refused to greet my parents or even assist in helping my mum cook and also refused to eat as well. Both parents have tried the best they can to enlighten us about social media and how to moderately use it,but my sister wouldn't care to listen,its as if she is possessed because it has happened more than once under my parents watch.
Parents on this forum, kindly suggest ways to treat this matter urgently.

I am curious to know the contents of her 'indecent' chats. Honestly you are sounding paranoid.

When you corner a child and deny them a healthy social life, you end up with stuffs like this. Something tells me that your sister's only way of meeting the world is through social media. Since she probably can't visit her friends around, or receive her friends at home, she is stuck on her phone.

A little freedom to socialize doesn't spoil a child.

Is like she went to a boarding school

Well if there is a guy in the house I will advise that the guy explains to her the dangers of premature exposure
I have come to understand that some girls will take advice on issues like relationship and sex from the opposite especially a brother than from their parents or mother .

Let her understand that any admiration or attention she is getting from the guys doesn't last for ever and will end at the instance the guy gets what he wants .

Myzubby:
Is like she went to a boarding school

Well if there is a guy in the house I will advise that the guy explains to her the dangers of premature exposure
I have come to understand that some girls will take advice on issues like relationship and sex from the opposite especially a brother than from their parents or mother .

Let her understand that any admiration or attention she is getting from the guys doesn't last for ever and will end at the instance the guy gets what he wants .

RAFFIZY please make use of this. This is a good method to adopt also

I had the same fears about my sister too, even tried to make my parents seize her phone when I saw her sending pictures to random guys online, but she turned out fine. It's just a phase where she's feeling so sexy and attractive. Just monitor her like a hawk to ensure she doesn't do more than chatting with boys

Solsix:
Isllam and force are like 5 and 6. You don't force a way of life on an individual, you ask God to help the individual make the best of choice.

Same with Christianity

It's a phase, it will definitely pass.

Let your parent act as if they give her freedom while directly cautioning her.

Note...
To give a child full freedom and to make a child think that she has freedom is two different things.parents needs to understand this.

Solsix:
Isllam and force are like 5 and 6. You don't force a way of life on an individual, you ask God to help the individual make the best of choice.

This one na mumu sha

Foodqueen:
It's a phase, it will definitely pass.

Let your parent act as if they give her freedom while directly cautioning her.

Note...
To give a child full freedom and to make a child think that she has freedom is two different things.parents needs to understand this.

Please explain the bolded

I don't believe it's just a phase, children of this days are something else secondary school children are doing whatsome of us dare not do back then even in our 20s, curb it before it turns to something else.




I was 17 in the university on holiday when my cousin called my line to come open the door, he didn't want to knock to wake everybody,vit was busy by 1am . Mtn extra cool things . He sent me a text , drop that call now and open the gate, I was like mogbe .

He asked who I was talking to for over 15 minutes he had tried and tried , it was this coloured screen phones back then , I don't think i could see incoming calls while on another call
It was a friend of a friend (a boy.)not a boy friend. The dude actually called my friend spoke with him and introduced himself as my cousin ooo and even saved his no, he was in his 30s then. When he dropped the call he said he wanted to he sure I wasn't talking to a thirty something year old like himself possibly so they wouldnt deceive me .

Even 5years later he still had the number on his phone and we both laughed about it. I received lecture that 1.30am.


Ordinary extracool, I explained and explained.

Indecent chat ke? That phone is gone niyen.

You are already finding indecent chat (I am assuming it's sexually related) that's how it will start to ehen. If you can seize the phone seize it.

I don't believe in all this kind of parenting we do nowadays

RAFFIZY:
Good day everyone, I want to raise an issue that has been bothering me as a sibling,and also to my parents,my sister who has just finished her ssce exams has been engaged in indecent chats with various people on her phone,we were brought up under strict muslim parents,honestly they have done a good job parenting so far,for the fact that my mum knew something was fishy because she is always with her phone.
Her phone has been seized,since this happened yesterday she has refused to greet my parents or even assist in helping my mum cook and also refused to eat as well. Both parents have tried the best they can to enlighten us about social media and how to moderately use it,but my sister wouldn't care to listen,its as if she is possessed because it has happened more than once under my parents watch.
Parents on this forum, kindly suggest ways to treat this matter urgently.

what do you mean by "indecent chats"?
If she is under age and went against your parents rules then she should be "punished" but not in a way that's gonna affect her mentally..as a big bro sit her down and talk to her about the implications of what she did..if it's against your religion bring the verse where it's been quoted and tell her the God you serve is against that(since you are brought up in a Muslim way)...

Please let her be,it's a phase,she would be out of it in no time

As her elder brother, take her out far away from home to a relaxing environment where she would not sense your parents' shadows and have a laid back talk about the presenting issues, what interests her, what next for her since she is now through with secondary education etc.

Adolescents are more drawn to older persons who have a two-way conversation with them than imposing on them. Like someone posted somewhere, "rebellion is the job description of adolescents"

bigjackass:
I had the same fears about my sister too, even tried to make my parents seize her phone when I saw her sending pictures to random guys online, but she turned out fine. It's just a phase where she's feeling so sexy and attractive. Just monitor her like a hawk to ensure she doesn't do more than chatting with boys

but you chat with other girls?

Laurene:
but you chat with other girls?

I can only vouch for myself. Every other guy is a potential vulture until proven otherwise

Solsix:
Isllam and force are like 5 and 6. You don't force a way of life on an individual, you ask God to help the individual make the best of choice.

Do u know u are a big fool? Not a small one. So u now as a Christian if ur sister or daughter is out there sharing nudes like an indecent star you'll applaud her and buy her more data cos you're the liberals right,? No wonder majority of online nudists are Christians.

CivilzedTyger:
Do u know u are a big fool? Not a small one. So u now as a Christian if ur sister or daughter is out there sharing nudes like an indecent star you'll applaud her and buy her more data cos you're the liberals right,? No wonder majority of online nudists are Christians.

Hahahaha e pain you

The ball has entered my court.


That your sister don reach puberty age, and like this so, her body don start to day sweet her. although still a minor. Nothing you people can do about it.


She don officially enter Olosho stage.

#notominors

It's a good thing the phone was seized!!!

But to be sincere this is the hardest phase parents go through when training a child. The teenage years can be teicky. If u are too hard on the child, the child may fall out. If u are too soft the child may fall out. So all your parents gats do is to handle your sis with care, bring her closer to themself , ask her questions , try to know her friends (including her bf) so that in that way, she can't hide anything.