I just created this account to post this.
I'm really Disturbed.

My wedding is approaching and I'm so excited about it.
Before I met my husband to be, there's this married man I know. Right from day one he told me who was married but his family based in a different state. I told him I'm single and I can't marry a married man nor date a married man. We both laughed about it.

Years passed, he became so close to my family and everybody around me. He comes to my house, gist with my mum, siblings and my family members are very accommodating.
I had my boyfriend whom everyone knows, that I have nothing with this man.
he support me financially some times. I have been helpful as well in my own ways. most times, I helped him out with cooking, even followed him to supper market to pick beautiful clothes (wears) for his wife and children. I have known this man for about 4 yrs now, but never have I had intimat.e relationship with him. He's like a big brother to me although he deeply loved me and have asked me out severally, but i have never involved myself with him s.exuallly.

This man have been so good to me, but now, I want to get married and he's so angry with me, he appears so hurt and heartbroken. He's behaving as if I betray his love. He's acting as if nothing mean anything to him any more. He almost lost his job last week due to lack of concentration. He takes his job carelessly now,

How can I help him heal emotionally, without distracting my own marriage?

Is ignoring him at this point the best option?


How should I handle this? Pls advice

After enjoying your Sugar Daddy, you want to leave him?

Given the closeness to your family, how did you introduce your Sugar daddy to your current fiance that you want to marry?

Something tells me you would have introduced him as your uncle...

Pele ooooo.

Nothing you can do at this point. Focus on the ship you've entered.

Annabelle12344:
This man have been so good to me, but now, I want to get married and he's so angry with me, he appears so hurt and heartbroken. He's behaving as if I betray his love. He's acting as if nothing mean anything to him any more. He almost lost his job last week due to lack of concentration. He takes his job carelessly now,
How can I help him heal emotionally, without distracting my own marriage?
Is ignoring him at this point the best option?
How should I handle this? Pls advice

You are wanting to heal emotionally wounds of someone you don't love or someone you love but don't want to marry? Which one?

Are you somehow his saviour that you feel you need to heal him emotionally?

Do you feel that you should marry your husband while you continue cradling another man's heart in your same arms?

Kobojunkie:
You are wanting to heal emotionally wounds of someone you don't love or someone you love but don't want to marry? Which one?

Are you somehow his saviour that you feel you need to heal him emotionally?

Do you feel that you should marry your husband while you continue cradling another man's heart in your same arms?

No. Not at all

Annabelle12344:
No. Not at all

There you have your answer.
So what's keeping you from doing what you know you ought to do?

This matter choke ooo
Make I sit down one side dey read comments.

You didn't have physical intimacy with him by your words but you had non-physical intimacy with him.
If he was married and you knew from the beginning,you should have just ended the relationship.........but you wanted it(even without the physical intimacy).

Cut him off and let him deal with his hurt.

Kobojunkie:
There you have your answer.
So what's keeping you from doing what you know you ought to do?

I'm just worried. That he's going through pain emotionally.
I wish he could be fine and happy as usual. because I'm happy with my man whom I'm getting married to.

Annabelle12344:

I'm just worried. That he's going through pain emotionally.
I wish he could be fine and happy as usual. because I'm happy with my man whom I'm getting married to.

Maybe you should marry both men and everyone is happy.

Beebah2000:
This matter choke ooo
Make I sit down one side dey read comments.

Babygirl

Annabelle12344:

I'm just worried. That he's going through pain emotionally.
I wish he could be fine and happy as usual. because I'm happy with my man whom I'm getting married to.

How is his emotional pain your business? Are you his savior or something?

He has a wife of his own so why do you make his pain about you? Or where you having an affair with him?

Are you certain you are happy with your man because for some reason I get the impression you would prefer having them both.

Nawa o.

Las las everyone will be fine.

thorpido:
You didn't have physical intimacy with him by your words but you had non-physical intimacy with him.
If he was married and you knew from the beginning,you should have just ended the relationship.........but you wanted it(even without the physical intimacy).

Cut him off and let him deal with his hurt.

Yes. I was supposed to cut him off from the beginning if he's intention was defined. But he came in as a friend. Like a big bro Who is already married and happy. Who only wanted to guide and help me secure a job and a good life.

You want to help him heal? Healer! Face your marriage, madam! The only healing he needs now is to focus on his family, while you focus on yours.

Wait, how do singles (male and female) even manage to keep married people this intimately close? It's unhealthy!

Madam, leave him alone for his wife to heal him!

Annabelle12344:
Yes. I was supposed to cut it off from the beginning if he's intention was defined. But he came in as a friend. Like a big bro Who is already married and happy. Who only wanted to guide and help me secure a job and a good life.

The attention you seem to be giving him appears more than what one would a big brother though.

Annabelle12344:
Yes. I was supposed to cut it off from the beginning if he's intention was defined. But he came in as a friend. Like a big bro Who is already married and happy. Who only wanted to guide and help me secure a job and a good life.

You said he asked you out.That already defined the relationship.

Give him kpekus let him chop before you marry. Atleast you won't be the one committing adultery but him

Which advice do you want again? Oya become his second wife make person see road.

Shior

At this point in time cut him off totally & let him deals with his hurt.

thorpido:
Maybe you should marry both men and everyone is happy.

Abi? Mscheeeew

Retracted! I'm tired of giving advise

samwash:
At this point in time cut him off totally & let him deals with his hurt.

Alright

Go ahead and get married, if you haven't him hurt then he will regain his sanity soon

Lol. Did his wife ask you to help him?
Some of you are just funny.

Big brother ko.
If you want to help him, tell his wife what’s been going on. Let her handle it

Annabelle12344:
Yes. I was supposed to cut him off from the beginning if he's intention was defined. But he came in as a friend. Like a big bro Who is already married and happy. Who only wanted to guide and help me secure a job and a good life.

Nope. The material goodies you benefited from him was what made you keep him around as a "big bro," even I don't believe a word of it. What I know for sure is that the thinking processing/faculty of an average Nigerian lady is weird. And you know that the crap about helping him heal "emotionally" is bunkum.

You're playing with fire!

Why did you go ahead and toy with his feelings by getting so close and doing those stuff for him when you knew you won't marry him?

Why did you go forming a bond you knew you won't maintain in the first place?
You're cooking, shopping and frolicking with a man and expect him not to feel attached to you in the end? Or you think it's only sex that attach people together?

I bet you knew what you were playing at all along. You were simply enjoying the moment. That feeling of " Im being dragged by two men" got into you and you felt cool at the time. Or could it be, "LONG THROAT" for what you'll gain from him after the cooking and shopping that made you condescend so low and got yourself into such a mess?. I pity you!

Youre still there thinking if you should help a wounded lion heal, When What you should in fact do is run and be watching your back as that man can harm you if he sees that he cant have you in the end.

You can't have your cake and eat it.

Stop toying with people's emotions. It's witchcraft.

Madam emotional healer. Weldone

Mtcheeew. If you had slept with him, if you are saying the truth, he would have dropped your sorry ass.
His lack of concentration is because this investment is down the drain without choping kpekus!

Better stay focused and face front. Don't disappoint another lovely male specie with good intentions.




I dey Waka pass. Bye o.

You dated him.

There's no way he could feel emotional betrayed if u weren't having sexual relationship.

And your family welcomed him all along.