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My Sister Has Gone Out Of Control - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Re: My Sister Has Gone Out Of Control by penta(m): 10:09am On Nov 13, 2021
Solsix:
Isllam and force are like 5 and 6. You don't force a way of life on an individual, you ask God to help the individual make the best of choice.
For those quoting me,if someone does not understand why he or she should live a way of like the person will not make the necessary changes no matter how strict the parents are. It will only lead to hypocritic life.

Even the bible says, spare the roll and spoil the child.. I hope you it. So don't bring being forceful here.
Re: My Sister Has Gone Out Of Control by jaxxy(m): 10:09am On Nov 13, 2021
TundeWX:
Its just a phase,the latter teen stages where rebellion and peer group pressure takes the centre stage in ones fight for individuality....she'll grow out of it eventually,just let her be because the more opposition you create,the greater the rebellious attitude,just talk to her in an even but stern tone about her choice of friends.

That little thing u call phase can make or break her. Some go through it and remain safe and some go through same thing and encounter the bad and even worst where they are lost completely.

U have to guide a child through all the phases they go through or u leave them at the mercy of whoever they meet or learn from. U can’t stop them completely bt u can definitely guide them and it is ur duty as a parent or guardian.

RAFFIZY:
Good day everyone, I want to raise an issue that has been bothering me as a sibling, and also to my parents.

My sister who has just finished her SSCE exams has been engaged in indecent chats with various people on her phone, we were brought up under strict muslim parents, honestly they have done a good job parenting so far, for the fact that my mum knew something was fishy because she is always with her phone.

Her phone has been seized, since this happened yesterday she has refused to greet my parents or even assist in helping my mum cook and also refused to eat as well. Both parents have tried the best they can to enlighten us about social media and how to moderately use it, but my sister wouldn't care to listen, it's as if she is possessed because it has happened more than once under my parents watch.

Parents on this forum, kindly suggest ways to treat this matter urgently.

U have to play a tough love game with her. U must correct and guide her bt also give her certain level of space to learn for herself while giving her advice she needs.

There is nothing wrong in punishing her when necessary and temporary seizing her Fone so she doesn’t get so addicted to it. Even adults get their Fones seized when it becomes a major issue. undecided

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Re: My Sister Has Gone Out Of Control by juman(m): 10:12am On Nov 13, 2021
She is too inexperienced for such act.
She can be killed if not careful.
Life is dangerous.
Re: My Sister Has Gone Out Of Control by Starzo: 10:14am On Nov 13, 2021
Bluewitch:


Same with Christianity
Yes I'm sure Christians mutilate females and marry them off before 12

Just know this, any freedom women enjoy in any society worldwide coincided with the emergence/spread of Christianity in same societies.

If not for the freedom Christian nation gave women, una for the live like those inside Afghanistan and other Muslim dominated countries. And dem for dey use una as virgin sacrifice to please the gods in other to avoid 'famine' and 'guarantee victory' for inter tribal wars for the African traditionalists dominated ones.

You guys should be grateful to Christianity.

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Re: My Sister Has Gone Out Of Control by Limassol(m): 10:14am On Nov 13, 2021
NoToPile:
I don't believe it's just a phase, children of this days are something else secondary school children are doing whatsome of us dare not do back then even in our 20s, curb it before it turns to something else.




I was 17 in the university on holiday when my cousin called my line to come open the door, he didn't want to knock to wake everybody,vit was busy by 1am grin. Mtn extra cool things . He sent me a text , drop that call now and open the gate, I was like mogbe .

He asked who I was talking to for over 15 minutes he had tried and tried , it was this coloured screen phones back then , I don't think i could see incoming calls while on another call
It was a friend of a friend (a boy.)not a boy friend. The dude actually called my friend spoke with him and introduced himself as my cousin ooo and even saved his no, he was in his 30s then. When he dropped the call he said he wanted to he sure ain't wasn't talking to a thirty something year old like himself cheesy possibly so they wouldnt deceive me .

Even 5years later he still had the number on his phone and we both laughed about it. I received lecture that 1.30am.


Ordinary extracool, I explained and explained.

Indecent chat ke? That phone is gone niyen.

You are already finding indecent chat (I am assuming it's sexually related) that's how it will start to ehen. If you can seize the phone seize it.

I don't believe in all this kind of parenting we do nowadays

You have no idea,do you?

The more hostility and agression shown to her the more she rebel... Seizing that phone only solve the problem temporarily.

Many have been there, and if anything Is learned is that, phases like this are transitory and not a really a big deal if treated with empathy, understanding and diplomacy.
Re: My Sister Has Gone Out Of Control by Eriokanmi: 10:14am On Nov 13, 2021
I've seized my daughter's phone several times too. She wasn't feeling good at all. On one occasion I seized it while she was chatting with her friends on WhatsApp. All I saw was gists, gists and gifts with her study group and female friends. I saw some messages sent by boys too, especially romantic words. Some would even type messages which could fill up a fullscap sheet but my daughter didn't respond to any of these , more than the "hi" after bois typed "hello".

Since then, I had stopped seizing her phone but I do monitor her chats by sitting close to her and asking her to show me what she's doing with her phone. A good girl will be a good girl and a wayward one too will go that route. But as parents, we can draw them back by talking to and monitoring them. Many might not understand the consequences until they're told. Teenage addiction and peer pressure are normal and they'd pass the stage but the onus is on us to not allow them to pass the stage all alone without grooming, monitoring and guiding them and ensuring they don't fall down along that path. We were once there too.

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Re: My Sister Has Gone Out Of Control by Limassol(m): 10:16am On Nov 13, 2021
greenie77:
As her elder brother, take her out far away from home to a relaxing environment where she would not sense your parents' shadows and have a laid back talk about the presenting issues, what interests her, what next for her since she is now through with secondary education etc.

Adolescents are more drawn to older persons who have a two-way conversation with them than imposing on them. Like someone posted somewhere, "rebellion is the job description of adolescents" cheesy

Oil dey your head.. cool
Re: My Sister Has Gone Out Of Control by TundeWX: 10:16am On Nov 13, 2021
jaxxy:


That little thing u call phase can make or break her. Some go through it and remain safe and some go through same thing and encounter the bad and even worst where they are lost completely.

U have to guide a child through all the phases they go through or u leave them at the mercy of whoever they meet or learn from. U can’t stop them completely bt u can definitely guide them and it is ur duty as a parent or guardian.

Thats where the parenting up until that point comes in...the first test to see if you did a good job as a parent
Re: My Sister Has Gone Out Of Control by ProphetJeroboam: 10:17am On Nov 13, 2021
Bro she’s at that stage. I still wouldn’t advise you to give up on her but it’s a slippery slope. Either she finds her way back or she convinces herself that she’s too far gone until her lifestyle ends her. Most of us found her way back and now we love our parents and want them to have a good life. When girls start puberty and their bodies starts changing, boys swarm like hawks , dishing out false compliments and promises, the same girls watch see what their female peers are into , it’s not easy I tell you but do your best to guide her.

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Re: My Sister Has Gone Out Of Control by elhafeez(m): 10:17am On Nov 13, 2021
Solsix:
Isllam and force are like 5 and 6. You don't force a way of life on an individual, you ask God to help the individual make the best of choice.
For those quoting me,if someone does not understand why he or she should live a way of like the person will not make the necessary changes no matter how strict the parents are. It will only lead to hypocritic life.

You just be an idiot. Na only Islam you see for the topic. Are Christians kids not rebellious. Hater.

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Re: My Sister Has Gone Out Of Control by TundeWX: 10:18am On Nov 13, 2021
Drakkernoir:


Not in the present generation, she will get lost in it all and irredemable acts may have been committed. Nija don change, there are crazy and unmoralistic individuals out there. Its best to curb it, before it becomes an uncurable sore

True in this present clime...but too much pressure and you push the child away into the hands of immorality

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Re: My Sister Has Gone Out Of Control by Rilwayne001: 10:19am On Nov 13, 2021
Solsix:

Hahahaha e pain you

He said the bitter truth, but obviously your childish cannot comprehend. Smh
Re: My Sister Has Gone Out Of Control by KillIgbohoN0W: 10:22am On Nov 13, 2021
RAFFIZY:

we were brought up under strict muslim parents, honestly they have done a good job parenting so far,

Problem identification.
Re: My Sister Has Gone Out Of Control by jaxxy(m): 10:23am On Nov 13, 2021
TundeWX:


Thats where the parenting up until that point comes in...the first test to see if you did a good job as a parent

So the parenting stops after her ssce? When she was a toddler she faced different challenges from when shes at 15 and still needs ur impute and guidance probably even more. Nothing she learnt at 11 will be enough to get her through the challenges at 15/16.

They are different sets of issues and most she hasn’t encountered b4. After 18/20 then she’s mature to navigate her way by herself if u did a good job.
Re: My Sister Has Gone Out Of Control by Sleekfingers: 10:23am On Nov 13, 2021
RAFFIZY:
Good day everyone, I want to raise an issue that has been bothering me as a sibling, and also to my parents.

My sister who has just finished her SSCE exams has been engaged in indecent chats with various people on her phone, we were brought up under strict muslim parents, honestly they have done a good job parenting so far, for the fact that my mum knew something was fishy because she is always with her phone.

Her phone has been seized, since this happened yesterday she has refused to greet my parents or even assist in helping my mum cook and also refused to eat as well. Both parents have tried the best they can to enlighten us about social media and how to moderately use it, but my sister wouldn't care to listen, it's as if she is possessed because it has happened more than once under my parents watch.

Parents on this forum, kindly suggest ways to treat this matter urgently.




If your sister na boy....una go treat him like that?
Re: My Sister Has Gone Out Of Control by cayorday89(m): 10:24am On Nov 13, 2021
Solsix:
Isllam and force are like 5 and 6. You don't force a way of life on an individual, you ask God to help the individual make the best of choice.
For those quoting me,if someone does not understand why he or she should live a way of like the person will not make the necessary changes no matter how strict the parents are. It will only lead to hypocritic life.
Your first paragraph is a no no, I am not a Muslim and any Christian, traditionalist, Hindu, Buddhist or any other form of religion will still act same way.
Concerning your last paragraph, I kinda agree with you, there is no point seizing her phone, they should only try help her to balance things, speak to her and let her see reasons why certain things are not needed and possible consequences which will come naturally as a result of whatever good or bad decisions she makes. Preventing her from engaging at all also has it consequences, they should make her their friends, not seeing her as a daughter and also try to engage her friends and speak to them generally, at this stage of her life she needs them and also need her friends because she will need to go with the flows of her generation whether good or bad, that is when she can blend and take bold steps later in life.
Mistake most parents make is they realize their own mistakes and force things on their teenage children who by then needs a certain level of freedom which they are not granted.
Re: My Sister Has Gone Out Of Control by Germi9: 10:24am On Nov 13, 2021
RAFFIZY:
Good day everyone, I want to raise an issue that has been bothering me as a sibling, and also to my parents.

My sister who has just finished her SSCE exams has been engaged in indecent chats with various people on her phone, we were brought up under strict muslim parents, honestly they have done a good job parenting so far, for the fact that my mum knew something was fishy because she is always with her phone.
The way you started it was like she was watching porrn with her fone

Her phone has been seized, since this happened yesterday she has refused to greet my parents or even assist in helping my mum cook and also refused to eat as well. Both parents have tried the best they can to enlighten us about social media and how to moderately use it, but my sister wouldn't care to listen, it's as if she is possessed because it has happened more than once under my parents watch.

Parents on this forum, kindly suggest ways to treat this matter urgently.
Re: My Sister Has Gone Out Of Control by TundeWX: 10:25am On Nov 13, 2021
jaxxy:


So the parenting stops after her ssce? When she was a toddler she faced different challenges from when shes at 15 and still needs ur impute and guidance probably even more. Nothing she learnt at 11 will be enough to get her through the challenges at 15/16.

They are different sets of issues and most she hasn’t encountered b4. After 18/20 then she’s mature to navigate her way by herself if u did a good job.

I never said parenting stops after her ssce, I said "up until that point"
Re: My Sister Has Gone Out Of Control by authority2006(m): 10:25am On Nov 13, 2021
TundeWX:
Its just a phase,the latter teen stages where rebellion and peer group pressure takes the centre stage in ones fight for individuality....she'll grow out of it eventually, just let her be because the more opposition you create,the greater the rebellious attitude,just talk to her in an even but stern tone about her choice of friends.

Let her be as how? Like giving her back the phone to continue?
Re: My Sister Has Gone Out Of Control by KillIgbohoN0W: 10:26am On Nov 13, 2021
[s]
CivilzedTyger:
Do u know u are a big fool? Not a small one. So u now as a Christian if ur sister or daughter is out there sharing nudes like an indecent star you'll applaud her and buy her more data cos you're the liberals right,? No wonder majority of online nudists are Christians.
[/s]

The greatest Nigerian IndecentStar olosho of all time is Ajibola Elizabeth AKA Mummy Igbagbo and she is a devout Muslim.

2 Likes

Re: My Sister Has Gone Out Of Control by brodalikeme(m): 10:26am On Nov 13, 2021
This describe one babe I get that year called Eniola. I liked her though, she was adventurous and full of lies.
Back to your sister, you guys need to use love and win her back. She’s been offered an illusion that is pulling her away. Let someone gain and trust and open her up.

However, let the phone stay with your parents. What rubbish, small girl will be chatting boldly with guys outside and forming vex with the parents.she need have her brain reset
Re: My Sister Has Gone Out Of Control by authority2006(m): 10:28am On Nov 13, 2021
xpressionx:
Chatting with different men is haram

My sister who has just finished her SSCE exams has been engaged in indecent chats with various people on her phone

You wanted the op to spell it out for you or you wanted to be what you are? Learn to comprehend
Re: My Sister Has Gone Out Of Control by Freelane33(m): 10:29am On Nov 13, 2021
Olagbara , she go get sense after she don abort like ten times grin. Dem no Dey tell person . Nothing whey you fit tell that girl I bet she no go listen to Una . Make Una leave her . Let her go learn her lesson in a hard way .
Re: My Sister Has Gone Out Of Control by CivilzedTyger(m): 10:30am On Nov 13, 2021
KillIgbohoN0W:
[s][/s]

The greatest Nigerian IndecentStar olosho of all time is Ajibola Elizabeth AKA Mummy Igbagbo and she is a devout Muslim.
Small small dey lie ogah. How Elizabeth take be Muslim name? The girl is a church going Christian, I follow her on insta. Every Sunday she dey snap with her Church outfits. Okay let's play a game. Mention a Muslim porn star's name and I'll reply with that of a Christian, let's see who run out of names first cheesy
Re: My Sister Has Gone Out Of Control by Omoluabi16(m): 10:30am On Nov 13, 2021
She's at THAT stage of her life where she thinks she has it all figured out. She needs to be properly and carefully guided. You can't beat her, or leave her to her fate. Moreover, it's quite extreme refusing to greet your parents or help with chores. What a shame. Seizing her phone was the right step.
When I start raising children, I would totally control their social media until they're 18, or get their admission.
Re: My Sister Has Gone Out Of Control by TundeWX: 10:31am On Nov 13, 2021
authority2006:


Let her be as how? Like giving her back the phone to continue?

Seizing her phone will solve nothing if she has full access to her friends,thats why I emphasised on curbing surrounding friends
Re: My Sister Has Gone Out Of Control by authority2006(m): 10:32am On Nov 13, 2021
Solsix:
Isllam and force are like 5 and 6. You don't force a way of life on an individual, you ask God to help the individual make the best of choice.
For those quoting me,if someone does not understand why he or she should live a way of like the person will not make the necessary changes no matter how strict the parents are. It will only lead to hypocritic life.

Just because Op mentioned being Muslims, something just triggered in your brain to attack Islam as usual. I don't blame you, it was the opportunity you were waiting for.
If your female sibling is engaging in what Op meant by "indecent", you and your parents can encourage her for all we care. Just don't bring your stupidity here.
Re: My Sister Has Gone Out Of Control by CivilzedTyger(m): 10:33am On Nov 13, 2021
big7:



Stop acting or reacting with emotion... Read between the lines... I am a Christian but can't you see that person you quoted is try so hard to get attention to himself the wrong way..

Na unah dey make all this tribal bigot dem feel important and continue in them way.. Read and ignore and see them fade away when no one gives them attention..

The guy just succeeded in getting what he wanted from you and that to make you feel pained by his reckless statement..

Next time read and ignore. It doesn't add nor take anything away from you.. Now you just Generalized something you can't prove just to hit back at him..

Peace
I actually liked ur post cos you're right. I'm too emotional and I've got to work on that. Peace $ign
Re: My Sister Has Gone Out Of Control by Drakkernoir: 10:33am On Nov 13, 2021
TundeWX:


True in this present clime...but too much pressure and you push the child away into the hands of immorality

And too little pressure and enough freedom..you push the child into the waiting hands of wolves, pedophiles, drug users, destiny spoilers without the necessary tools to adapt. The rate of immorality in this present generation is really a pandemic.
Re: My Sister Has Gone Out Of Control by HonestFriend: 10:33am On Nov 13, 2021
CivilzedTyger:
Do u know u are a big fool? Not a small one. So u now as a Christian if ur sister or daughter is out there sharing nudes like an indecent star you'll applaud her and buy her more data cos you're the liberals right,? No wonder majority of online nudists are Christians.

Keep kwayet... U talk like a child..

So now what is d difference between you and the person you quoted?

1 Like

Re: My Sister Has Gone Out Of Control by bizzibodi(m): 10:35am On Nov 13, 2021
Let him buy her antikpekus itching cream.
Re: My Sister Has Gone Out Of Control by authority2006(m): 10:35am On Nov 13, 2021
NoToPile:
I don't believe it's just a phase, children of this days are something else secondary school children are doing whatsome of us dare not do back then even in our 20s, curb it before it turns to something else.




I was 17 in the university on holiday when my cousin called my line to come open the door, he didn't want to knock to wake everybody,vit was busy by 1am grin. Mtn extra cool things . He sent me a text , drop that call now and open the gate, I was like mogbe .

He asked who I was talking to for over 15 minutes he had tried and tried , it was this coloured screen phones back then , I don't think i could see incoming calls while on another call
It was a friend of a friend (a boy.)not a boy friend. The dude actually called my friend spoke with him and introduced himself as my cousin ooo and even saved his no, he was in his 30s then. When he dropped the call he said he wanted to he sure ain't wasn't talking to a thirty something year old like himself cheesy possibly so they wouldnt deceive me .

Even 5years later he still had the number on his phone and we both laughed about it. I received lecture that 1.30am.


Ordinary extracool, I explained and explained.

Indecent chat ke? That phone is gone niyen.

You are already finding indecent chat (I am assuming it's sexually related) that's how it will start to ehen. If you can seize the phone seize it.

I don't believe in all this kind of parenting we do nowadays

Thanks jare

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